I was at a Lubavitcher Bris this morning in the mainstream Lubavitcher Shul, Bnei Ruven. It was a beautiful affair attended by a lot of people in the Chicago Jewish community. Many of whom were not Lubavitch. A lot of smiling faces and warm good wishes were exchanged. As these events go it was pretty routine except for one thing. A letter from the Rebbe was read. The letter was sent to the grandfather on the occasion of the father’s own bris.
The idea that every religious event must contain a declaration in some way from the Rebbe is demonstrable of the obsession that even the mainstream Lubavitchers have with their Rebbe. Even almost 14 years after his death in 1994. To the best of my knowledge no other Orthodox denomination does this. I haven’t seen it at all in any of the well over 30 weddings I attend per year.
This includes weddings from virtually every segment of Orthodox Jewry - from Chasidim of various stripes to Yeshivish, to Modern Orthodox. Only Lubavitch does this. They always read a letter from the Rebbe. It is an integral part of the Simcha which is read just before the actual ritual portion of the ceremony under the Chupah.
As I have said in the past, it is one thing to give reverence and awe to a leader as well as to show public affection. And when that leader dies to express the sense of deep loss is to be expected. That is very appropriate. But Lubavitch transcends that with this tradition. They seem to believe that in order for a Simcha to have full meaning, the Rebbe’s words must be read in the form of an actual letter he once sent to those who celebrated a similar event.
This obsession is in my view the reason the Messianists continue to flourish. It is virtually impossible to disabuse a true believer of his Messianist notions when one’s own obsession is so strong… and so strongly imbedded in everything they do.
It is to the credit of the Rebbe that there is such an extreme sense of loyalty by his Chasidm towards him. He was truly an inspirational leader. Every Chasid who has ever come into contact with him feels as though they had a personal relationship with him. He is more than a father figure to many. He was perhaps the most charismatic Orthodox rabbinic leader of the 20th century. People literally went to the ends of the earth to carry out his mission. They went happily... succeeding in bringing observant Judaism to vast numbers of Jews from the furthest reaches of Judaism. The Rebbe’s Shaliach was there in the remostest of areas for only one reason: the Rebbe told him to go. I don’t think any other Torah leader inspired such loyalty. He was truly a great man.
And that leads me to an op-ed in the Jerusalem Post. It is by Eli Soble. He is a Lubavitcher Chasid who is active in the movement's educational work in New Jersey.
The truth is I don’t relish commenting on this issue as much as I do. It has been kind of beaten to death already. But every time I want to go into hibernation on the subject, an article like this appears and forces me to comment.
Mainstream Lubavitch claims that Messianists are a diminishing minority. I have questioned that assertion. After reading this op-ed, I hardly think that this assertion has any validity. One is hard pressed to conclude that the vast majority of Lubavitchers believe anything other than that the Rebbe is the Messiah… as the title of the op-ed proclaims. The only real question is how public they are about it.
There is little doubt in my mind that the Rebbe himself is responsible for this phenomenon. I have been saying it for years. What strengthens that argument for me is the fact that to this day – almost 14 years after his death - he still inspires so much love, loyalty, and devotion. As does the continued deep sense of loss they feel and the fact that he has no successor.
I have seen many of the quotes Mr. Soble cites in the article. But no where is it put more succinctly than it is here.
Here is the key portion of the article that demonstrates the Lubavitcher Rebbe’s own complicity in the Messianist phenomenon:
Almost every week in 1991 and 1992, the Rebbe reiterated, verbally and in writing, that this generation is the last of exile and the first of geula, or salvation.
In 1990, during the First Gulf War, the Rebbe explicitly announced: "The time of our redemption has arrived." And in 1991, the Rebbe stated that the "service of spiritual refinement" of the exile had been completed. Also that year, characterizing the statement as divine prophecy, the Rebbe issued the projection: "Behold Moshiach is about to come."
The Rebbe directed all Chabad hassidim to publicize this prophecy, and to add that we have merited that God has chosen an individual beyond all others to serve as the leader and prophet of this generation.
In 1992, the Rebbe told Chabad emissaries that their mission had been completed and that all efforts should now concentrate on preparing to greet the messiah, who would be arriving imminently.
That year the Rebbe wrote: "At the present time, all obstacles and hindrances have been nullified. As such, Moshiach (not only exists, but in fact) is also already revealed. All we have to do now is welcome Moshiach tzidkeinu in actual reality."
Rabbis from within and beyond Chabad then enacted, in 1991, a psak din or rabbinical judgment which asserted that the Rebbe was the presumed messiah according to the qualifications outlined by Maimonides. The Rebbe later spoke of this psak din as part of the revelation of the messiah and the unfolding of redemption.
The Rebbe all but proclaimed himself to be the Messiah. And he did little to discourage others from saying it. Quite the opposite seems to be the case.
To those in Chabad who claim that Messianism is not mainstream... to those who say it is dying out, or that the Rebbe was misunderstood, I must ask how they explain the Rebbe’s own words.
I was once told by a rav who is sympathetic to my views that my efforts in trying to get Lubavitch to drop these beliefs is a waste of time. That they are as integral to their beliefs as learning Torah is to Lakewood. And that all the outside pressure in the world isn’t going to make them stop. I’m beginning to believe that he’s right. But I still hope... that he’s wrong.
Thursday, January 31, 2008
Wednesday, January 30, 2008
Who Said This?
Should we have embraced the Palestinians after the Six Day War? Some people thought so. In fact one very famous individual is on record as saying so. Here is an exact quote:
After the Six Day War, I was one of the first people to walk into the Old City and I walked up to every Arab and kissed them, our cousins. I went to the top people in Israel, and I said, “If we want to live in peace with the Arabs, as much as we need an army to make war, we need an army to make peace.”
The man who said this is a Jewish icon of the 20th century. There are very few people who don’t know his name. In fact he is more popular today than when he made that statement. And his popularity crosses all boundaries in the Jewish world both political and religious.
In light of the current attitude by many toward our Arab cousins, is there anyone who agrees with this statement even remotely? Even considering when he said it? Was his advice foolish or was it wise? If foolish - is it possible to consider a man with these views an icon that is venerated by tens of thousands of Jews world-wide? Yet that is indeed the case. Increasingly so and with good reason.
You may be surprised to find out who said these words. Stay tuned.
Update:
It's time for the big 'reveal'.
The author of this statement is Shlomo Carlebach. It was taken from an iterview with him by 'New Age' Rabbi Michael Lerner, publisher of Tikkun Magazine. The interview was conducted one year before Rabbi Carlebach's death in 1994 and is available here.
Updated: 1/30/08 3:41 PM CST
After the Six Day War, I was one of the first people to walk into the Old City and I walked up to every Arab and kissed them, our cousins. I went to the top people in Israel, and I said, “If we want to live in peace with the Arabs, as much as we need an army to make war, we need an army to make peace.”
The man who said this is a Jewish icon of the 20th century. There are very few people who don’t know his name. In fact he is more popular today than when he made that statement. And his popularity crosses all boundaries in the Jewish world both political and religious.
In light of the current attitude by many toward our Arab cousins, is there anyone who agrees with this statement even remotely? Even considering when he said it? Was his advice foolish or was it wise? If foolish - is it possible to consider a man with these views an icon that is venerated by tens of thousands of Jews world-wide? Yet that is indeed the case. Increasingly so and with good reason.
You may be surprised to find out who said these words. Stay tuned.
Update:
It's time for the big 'reveal'.
The author of this statement is Shlomo Carlebach. It was taken from an iterview with him by 'New Age' Rabbi Michael Lerner, publisher of Tikkun Magazine. The interview was conducted one year before Rabbi Carlebach's death in 1994 and is available here.
Updated: 1/30/08 3:41 PM CST
It’s John McCain
OK. So I was wrong. Sue me.
Last November I went out on what I thought was a safe limb and endorsed a candidate that had been consistently leading in the national polls ever since he announced his candidacy for President. But after yesterday’s Florida Republican primary loss, it looks like Mr. Giuliani is toast. His strategy of waiting for the Florida primary backfired. Though he was leading the polls there until very recently, he could not overcome the momentum built up by his opponents.
How could he? The media was all about McCain versus Romney with a secondary emphasis on Huckabee. Giuliani was off the radar. By the time the Florida primary rolled around, he could no longer overcome that. Especially since the unthinkable happened: As an issue the war in Iraq kind of fell off the planet. Nobody is paying any attention to it now. And that was Giuliani’s greatest strength. Now it’s all about the economy. And with good reason.
I stand by what I said. Giuliani is still the best candidate for all the reasons I said he was. But unfortunately he is not in the game any more. McCain’s win and Giuliani’s poor showing in the Florida primary sealed his fate.
As important as the economy is, it is not the most important issue. The events taking place in Iraq and the reasons for them are still on top of the list. What can be more important than national security? …For us …for Israel…. for the entire world.
The enemy has not been defeated yet. The war against Islamo-fascism is raging. The theology behind it is still being taught in Madrosses all over the world. And the volunteers for suicide missions have not been depleted.
The reason that it is not front page news anymore is only in part because the down-turn in the economy. It is also because of the recent successes achieved in the war in Iraq. And because the US has successfully prevented another 9/11 event on its shores. The media isn’t focusing on it any more. People gave forgotten 9/11. But they shouldn’t.
And that’s why I still think Giuliani’s no nonsense approach is the right one. Too bad we’ll never see it implemented.
So… who now? To me the only logical choice is John McCain. Of all the candidates he has been the most consistent and open about his foreign policy views which includes understanding what the priorities are. He knows that Islamo-fascism is the number one concern for the American people and the world.
He of course realizes what everyone else does… that the economy is a high agenda item. But it is still secondary to foreign policy concerns. He has never lost sight of 9/11. And though I liked Giuliani better, McCain was always a close second. His pro-Israel support has been consistent. He is a true friend, who has always understood what is at stake there and supported Israel’s right to defend itself without equivocation. He has a track record to prove that.
It is also significant that independent Senator Joseph Lieberman - an observant Jew - has endorsed him. They are good friends and share a similar perspective on foreign policy concerns. There has even been talk about a vice presidential spot for him on the McCain ticket. I doubt that’s going to happen. But when one hears McCain talk about his friend Joe Lieberman as he often does, it is in the loftiest of terms. Perhaps it isn’t all that far-fetched.
But that’s not important. What is important is that he is a man of high integrity who served his country in uniform during a war in which he endured five and a half years as a prisoner, and which he was also tortured. He has been tested by fire. He knows what is at stake.
If integrity and honor is your measure, he is your candidate. And now because of that and because he’s right about foreign policy, he is my candidate too.
Last November I went out on what I thought was a safe limb and endorsed a candidate that had been consistently leading in the national polls ever since he announced his candidacy for President. But after yesterday’s Florida Republican primary loss, it looks like Mr. Giuliani is toast. His strategy of waiting for the Florida primary backfired. Though he was leading the polls there until very recently, he could not overcome the momentum built up by his opponents.
How could he? The media was all about McCain versus Romney with a secondary emphasis on Huckabee. Giuliani was off the radar. By the time the Florida primary rolled around, he could no longer overcome that. Especially since the unthinkable happened: As an issue the war in Iraq kind of fell off the planet. Nobody is paying any attention to it now. And that was Giuliani’s greatest strength. Now it’s all about the economy. And with good reason.
I stand by what I said. Giuliani is still the best candidate for all the reasons I said he was. But unfortunately he is not in the game any more. McCain’s win and Giuliani’s poor showing in the Florida primary sealed his fate.
As important as the economy is, it is not the most important issue. The events taking place in Iraq and the reasons for them are still on top of the list. What can be more important than national security? …For us …for Israel…. for the entire world.
The enemy has not been defeated yet. The war against Islamo-fascism is raging. The theology behind it is still being taught in Madrosses all over the world. And the volunteers for suicide missions have not been depleted.
The reason that it is not front page news anymore is only in part because the down-turn in the economy. It is also because of the recent successes achieved in the war in Iraq. And because the US has successfully prevented another 9/11 event on its shores. The media isn’t focusing on it any more. People gave forgotten 9/11. But they shouldn’t.
And that’s why I still think Giuliani’s no nonsense approach is the right one. Too bad we’ll never see it implemented.
So… who now? To me the only logical choice is John McCain. Of all the candidates he has been the most consistent and open about his foreign policy views which includes understanding what the priorities are. He knows that Islamo-fascism is the number one concern for the American people and the world.
He of course realizes what everyone else does… that the economy is a high agenda item. But it is still secondary to foreign policy concerns. He has never lost sight of 9/11. And though I liked Giuliani better, McCain was always a close second. His pro-Israel support has been consistent. He is a true friend, who has always understood what is at stake there and supported Israel’s right to defend itself without equivocation. He has a track record to prove that.
It is also significant that independent Senator Joseph Lieberman - an observant Jew - has endorsed him. They are good friends and share a similar perspective on foreign policy concerns. There has even been talk about a vice presidential spot for him on the McCain ticket. I doubt that’s going to happen. But when one hears McCain talk about his friend Joe Lieberman as he often does, it is in the loftiest of terms. Perhaps it isn’t all that far-fetched.
But that’s not important. What is important is that he is a man of high integrity who served his country in uniform during a war in which he endured five and a half years as a prisoner, and which he was also tortured. He has been tested by fire. He knows what is at stake.
If integrity and honor is your measure, he is your candidate. And now because of that and because he’s right about foreign policy, he is my candidate too.
Tuesday, January 29, 2008
Anti-Semitism in America
There is an article by Rabbi Ken Spiro on the Aish.com website that really troubles me.
It is an article entitled The Face of anti-Semitism and subtitled Even in such civilized nation as France and the United States, anti-Semitism never died out.
The article goes on to describe various anti-Semitic regimes that existed even in the most civilized of nations. What disturbed me is his putting the United States in this category.
While the events and personalities described in the article are true, one is left with the impression that the United States was a snake pit of anti Semitism in the past with no redeeming value. There is no mention of what it is like today and one is left to feel that the United States still harbors at least a latent form of anti Semitism even now. There is no indication in the article that Jews were from the very beginning fairly free to live in peace and to prosper. Even though there were pockets of anti-Semitism extant at the time it did not generally or seriously affect them. And certainly things are far different now then when the events he writes about took place.
The impression left is so far from reality that it constitutes a libel against the American people. It is also as misleading as can be about what this country has meant to the very survival of the Jewish people, even in times when there was a latent form of anti-Semitism. Jews even in those times succeeded beyond their wildest imaginations. The events he describes were anomalies, not the norm. Jews were generally unfettered in their freedom to achieve and enjoy their successes in almost any legal way they chose. And today…?! Anti-Semitism is all but non-existent.
I don’t know what moral basis Rabbi Spiro has for writing an article omitting this fact and leave the impression that there are more Henry Fords lurking in corporate America or that another Leo Frank will soon be lynched. It is so absurd as to make it almost comical… if it weren’t such a slap in the face to this country and its good citizens.
The truth is that America has enabled Jews to flourish and we are now at the height of acceptance into American society. We have unprecedented freedom to be Jews and practice Orthodox Judaism in any way which suits us, whether as a Chasid in Monroe, a Lakewood Avreich, or as a modern Orthodox Jew in Teaneck.
As I’ve pointed out many times, the level of our acceptance as Jews was ultimately shown when Senator Joe Lieberman was chosen as the Democrat candidate and was almost universally embraced by America as …not only acceptable, but as superior choice because he was seen as devout. Indeed the Democrat ticket which didn’t have a prayer of winning the election until he was chosen was immediately raised to even chances for a Democrat win. And they did eventually win the popular vote. Some anti-Semitism!
Of course there is some anti-Semitsim even today. It’s a big country. But for all practical purposes it is barely existent and only in the most extreme fringes of society.
It is completely disingenuous for Rabbi Spiro to leave the impression that the United States is in any way anti-Semitic today. It is true that there was a lot more of it in the past and that it hurt us, especially during the holocaust. But to recount all those incidents and anti-Semitic personalities without even a word of context of the times or the relative freedom Jews had then… and even more importantly that this is not the case today is an injustice to the American people and serves no purpose what so ever. What was he thinking?! What’s his point?
It is an article entitled The Face of anti-Semitism and subtitled Even in such civilized nation as France and the United States, anti-Semitism never died out.
The article goes on to describe various anti-Semitic regimes that existed even in the most civilized of nations. What disturbed me is his putting the United States in this category.
While the events and personalities described in the article are true, one is left with the impression that the United States was a snake pit of anti Semitism in the past with no redeeming value. There is no mention of what it is like today and one is left to feel that the United States still harbors at least a latent form of anti Semitism even now. There is no indication in the article that Jews were from the very beginning fairly free to live in peace and to prosper. Even though there were pockets of anti-Semitism extant at the time it did not generally or seriously affect them. And certainly things are far different now then when the events he writes about took place.
The impression left is so far from reality that it constitutes a libel against the American people. It is also as misleading as can be about what this country has meant to the very survival of the Jewish people, even in times when there was a latent form of anti-Semitism. Jews even in those times succeeded beyond their wildest imaginations. The events he describes were anomalies, not the norm. Jews were generally unfettered in their freedom to achieve and enjoy their successes in almost any legal way they chose. And today…?! Anti-Semitism is all but non-existent.
I don’t know what moral basis Rabbi Spiro has for writing an article omitting this fact and leave the impression that there are more Henry Fords lurking in corporate America or that another Leo Frank will soon be lynched. It is so absurd as to make it almost comical… if it weren’t such a slap in the face to this country and its good citizens.
The truth is that America has enabled Jews to flourish and we are now at the height of acceptance into American society. We have unprecedented freedom to be Jews and practice Orthodox Judaism in any way which suits us, whether as a Chasid in Monroe, a Lakewood Avreich, or as a modern Orthodox Jew in Teaneck.
As I’ve pointed out many times, the level of our acceptance as Jews was ultimately shown when Senator Joe Lieberman was chosen as the Democrat candidate and was almost universally embraced by America as …not only acceptable, but as superior choice because he was seen as devout. Indeed the Democrat ticket which didn’t have a prayer of winning the election until he was chosen was immediately raised to even chances for a Democrat win. And they did eventually win the popular vote. Some anti-Semitism!
Of course there is some anti-Semitsim even today. It’s a big country. But for all practical purposes it is barely existent and only in the most extreme fringes of society.
It is completely disingenuous for Rabbi Spiro to leave the impression that the United States is in any way anti-Semitic today. It is true that there was a lot more of it in the past and that it hurt us, especially during the holocaust. But to recount all those incidents and anti-Semitic personalities without even a word of context of the times or the relative freedom Jews had then… and even more importantly that this is not the case today is an injustice to the American people and serves no purpose what so ever. What was he thinking?! What’s his point?
Not the Messiah
In a flowery tribute to the late Lubavitcher Rebbe, Rabbi Boteach says what I consider to be the magic words about the Rebbe’s Messiahship. He proclaims that he is not. Here are his exact words:
Maimonides establishes beyond the shadow of any halachic doubt that a great Jewish leader who causes the Jewish people to reembrace their tradition and fights God's moral battles - feats the Rebbe accomplished without rival - has the possibility of being the Messiah. But if he dies without having fulfilled the relevant prophecies, he is seen as an inspired leader who brought the world closer to redemption, but is not the redeemer himself.
An inspired leader, but not the redeemer. I don’t think this point should be glossed over. He is a Chabad Chasid and I understand his passion for his Rebbe. And I would even agree that much of what he said about the Rebbe is true, albeit not to the extent that he says it . It doesn’t really bother me that a Chasid thinks his Rebbe is the Gadol HaDor. That is to be expected. I would agree that he was a genuine Gadol, but not THE Gadol HaDor. I would not put him –as Rabbi Boteach does - in a category as one of the most influential Jews of all time or deserving the Nobel Peace Prize. But it is a perfectly harmless if overly exalted belief about the Lubavitcher Rebbe.
It is in fact a pity that Rabbi Boteach has for all practical purposes been expelled from the Lubavitch mainstream. He is Persona Non Grata there now. He is anathema to them now presumably because of the publication of his book Kosher Sex. They felt his treatment of the subject of sexual intimacy was too irreverent and therefore totally unacceptable - enough so to boot him out of the movement.
So ultimately this influential media figure who would normally be embraced by Lubavitch carries no weight there. Any statement he makes is therefore irrelevant to their Messianist problems. And that’s too bad.
But although his unequivocal statement about the Rebbe not being the Messiah is an important one - with which I of course agree - I disagree with his advocacy of accepting Messianic converts.
I agree with Dr. Berger’s assessment that a potential convert – even though very careful in Mitzvah observance which is a hallmark of Lubavitch can still not be accepted as a convert if he maintains the fundamentally Christian belief that a particular man will be resurrected in a second coming as the Messiah. Rabbi Boteach says we should and that his error of belief should not take away from his sincerity and commitment as to be a fully observant Jew. But he is wrong in my view.
Dr. Berger correctly states the following:
To accept such a convert would be an act of serious contempt for generations of Jews who gave their lives to preserve the theological boundaries between Judaism and Christianity.
Indeed it would ...as I wrote in a past essay.
It should also be noted that there are some in Lubavitch who go the extra step and actually deify the Rebbe, as Dr. Berger shows in his article. It is troubling that Rabbi Boteach denies something that is so demonstrably obvious.
Be that as it may... as Dr. Berger indicates... the rejection of a messianist convert adds a glimmer of hope that the tide may be changing and that Orthodoxy might finally be standing up to this notion and declaring it unacceptable. Perhaps this will ultimately lead to a re-assessment by Chabad leaders as to how they think of and speak about the Rebbe.
One can love and revere a Rebbe and miss him terribly as does Rabbi Boteach. Any great Torah giant who was beloved alive will be missed after his death. But as I have said about Lubavitch many times - their's is an obsession that is unparalleled in any other mainstream segment of Orthodox Jewry.
Maybe Chabad should welcome Rabbi Boteach back into their fold and listen to him. He could be a great asset to them both in thought and deed.
Monday, January 28, 2008
Sexual Abuse: Perspective of a Mental Health Professional
Last week a virtual firestorm erupted about a post I wrote on sexual abuse. It was suggested by some that rabbis in the Chicago community were guilty of outrageous cover-ups which either enabled sex abuse or perpetuated it. I took strong issue with that and pointed out some very important differences between the cases brought up here and the cases in New York that I referred to. As a result of that discussion, I have been in contact with a Frum mental health care professional here in Chicago who deals with these issues. He has graciously consented to give his perspective on this issue but has asked to remain anonymous due to the sensitive nature of his profession. I consented. What follows are his words:
I read this blog post and all of the comments that were posted afterwards. As a mental health professional who has worked with victims of sexual abuse, I wanted to add my perspective.
The rabbis in our community are not the same rabbis as they were fifteen, ten, or even five years ago. Long ago it was unfathomable that people could commit sexual offenses against children in our community. Not that it didn't happen, but the denial was thick and people didn’t' understand anything about the mental illness of pedophilia.
Our Rabbis have learned more and grown a tremendous amount and battled against their own inner denial much more so then any other group. A lot of the time they are accused of covering up or protecting someone, when in fact they are doing the exact opposite. But no Rabbi is going to smear people's name and talk about the confidential things he is doing to protect a family, just to clear his own name. Mistakes do get made yes, but more often then not; help is being given in a discrete way.
On the assertion that the Orthodox community is more fallible to this because of the very nature of Orthodoxy, again I most certainly disagree. Across the Jewish community, from Reform, to Conservative, to Reconstructionist there is fear and denial around sexual abuse. In every community around the world there is denial, fear, and covering up of sexual abuse. No one can fathom or wants to fathom, that it can happen in their own backyard. Do the Orthodox have their own individual issues in dealing with the issue? Certainly, but so does every other community.
Our Rabbis have done more then you or even I can know to help people become informed, and we need to strengthen them through that process and not bash them in order for them to get more work done.
I know that is scary for us to think that there is sexual abuse in our community. It makes everyone uncomfortable and we all deal with it in different ways. Two very popular ways to deal with it are denial and anger.
Denial is very strong and permeates many layers of a person's being. Denial causes a person to freeze, emotionally and psychologically. Denial causes people to act in ways that they deep down know is wrong, but they cannot by any means make themselves react differently. People in denial should not be shouted at or persecuted or banned, this makes the defensiveness worse and serves no one. What we need is to slowly start conversations, be as open as possible, and slowly but surely people's denial will crack.
The second way is anger. Someone needs to be blamed. There needs to be someone who is held responsible, but that is not realistic or responsible - though understandable. But while you're yelling and shouting that this one should be fired, and this one should be cut off, realize that what’s going on is your own emotional response to the horror of child sexual abuse.
Those two different reactions, anger and denial, and I'll throw in another one, panic, are what make a community conducive to sexual abuse. When we stigmatize Rabbis, offenders, principals, and others, we are making a community where people are afraid to speak up and tell the truth.
To have conversations where no one is hated or threatened and where people feel that abuse can be talked about in a healthy way, that is a community that is on its way to making itself safer. By turning denial, anger, and panic into a proactive and calm "ok, so what can we do now", it is going to make offenders work harder in getting away with the symptoms of their illness.
The one note I would like to end with is that I want you all to close your eyes and imagine your own children, parents, sisters, brothers, etc. Now imagine that somehow you find out that they have molested a child. Anyone can be a child molester. There is no personality profile for a pedophile, and is usually shocking how normal they are when it's found out. Would your level of ‘kill the molester’ and hang the person who protected them" be as strong?
I encourage you all to view this issue as not so black and white. I also encourage you all to do some real reading and investigating on how you can proactively make our community safer, instead of beating down on the Rabbis who are trying to do just that. We need to take real and big steps to ensure our community's safety. By using our heads instead of our witch hunting skills we can make that happen.
I read this blog post and all of the comments that were posted afterwards. As a mental health professional who has worked with victims of sexual abuse, I wanted to add my perspective.
The rabbis in our community are not the same rabbis as they were fifteen, ten, or even five years ago. Long ago it was unfathomable that people could commit sexual offenses against children in our community. Not that it didn't happen, but the denial was thick and people didn’t' understand anything about the mental illness of pedophilia.
Our Rabbis have learned more and grown a tremendous amount and battled against their own inner denial much more so then any other group. A lot of the time they are accused of covering up or protecting someone, when in fact they are doing the exact opposite. But no Rabbi is going to smear people's name and talk about the confidential things he is doing to protect a family, just to clear his own name. Mistakes do get made yes, but more often then not; help is being given in a discrete way.
On the assertion that the Orthodox community is more fallible to this because of the very nature of Orthodoxy, again I most certainly disagree. Across the Jewish community, from Reform, to Conservative, to Reconstructionist there is fear and denial around sexual abuse. In every community around the world there is denial, fear, and covering up of sexual abuse. No one can fathom or wants to fathom, that it can happen in their own backyard. Do the Orthodox have their own individual issues in dealing with the issue? Certainly, but so does every other community.
Our Rabbis have done more then you or even I can know to help people become informed, and we need to strengthen them through that process and not bash them in order for them to get more work done.
I know that is scary for us to think that there is sexual abuse in our community. It makes everyone uncomfortable and we all deal with it in different ways. Two very popular ways to deal with it are denial and anger.
Denial is very strong and permeates many layers of a person's being. Denial causes a person to freeze, emotionally and psychologically. Denial causes people to act in ways that they deep down know is wrong, but they cannot by any means make themselves react differently. People in denial should not be shouted at or persecuted or banned, this makes the defensiveness worse and serves no one. What we need is to slowly start conversations, be as open as possible, and slowly but surely people's denial will crack.
The second way is anger. Someone needs to be blamed. There needs to be someone who is held responsible, but that is not realistic or responsible - though understandable. But while you're yelling and shouting that this one should be fired, and this one should be cut off, realize that what’s going on is your own emotional response to the horror of child sexual abuse.
Those two different reactions, anger and denial, and I'll throw in another one, panic, are what make a community conducive to sexual abuse. When we stigmatize Rabbis, offenders, principals, and others, we are making a community where people are afraid to speak up and tell the truth.
To have conversations where no one is hated or threatened and where people feel that abuse can be talked about in a healthy way, that is a community that is on its way to making itself safer. By turning denial, anger, and panic into a proactive and calm "ok, so what can we do now", it is going to make offenders work harder in getting away with the symptoms of their illness.
The one note I would like to end with is that I want you all to close your eyes and imagine your own children, parents, sisters, brothers, etc. Now imagine that somehow you find out that they have molested a child. Anyone can be a child molester. There is no personality profile for a pedophile, and is usually shocking how normal they are when it's found out. Would your level of ‘kill the molester’ and hang the person who protected them" be as strong?
I encourage you all to view this issue as not so black and white. I also encourage you all to do some real reading and investigating on how you can proactively make our community safer, instead of beating down on the Rabbis who are trying to do just that. We need to take real and big steps to ensure our community's safety. By using our heads instead of our witch hunting skills we can make that happen.
Sunday, January 27, 2008
Skokie - Part Eight
The New Rosh HaYeshiva
It’s official. Rabbi Avraham Friedman is the newly appointed Rosh HaYeshiva of Beis HaMedrash LaTorah, The Hebrew Theological College (HTC). The announcement was made this morning.
Rabbi Friedman is a huge Talmid Chacham and has been in Chinuch for many decades. He was a popular Rebbe in Yeshivat Kerem B’Yavneh before he came to Skokie over 25 years ago. And he was a key component in the Yeshiva’s return to respectability. Hired by former president, Rabbi Don Well along with a star studded faculty the Yeshiva began to attract students once again.
Under the leadership of former Rosh HaYeshiva Rav Shlomo Morgenstern, Rabbi Friedman played a key role in taking the Yeshiva to where it is today. As Rosh HaYeshiva, my hope is that he will be able to take it to an even higher plane and make it the Yeshiva it has the potential to be.
His background is perfect for this Yeshiva. He was raised in it. His father, attorney Joseph Friedman, ZL was a one time chairman of the board ...and at a time that there were not that many Shomrei Shabbos on that board. He was always a champion of doing the right thing. And he was in Rabbi Aaron Soloveichik’s corner during the difficult period when the Yeshiva let him go.
Joe Friedman was rewarded by Heaven for his work at Skokie and in the Chicago Jewish community as well. His three children are exemplars of Torah Jews. His oldest son, HaGaon Rav Chanoch Friedman was one of the best Talmidim of his time in Lakewood. I saw the letter Rav Aharon Kotler sent to Mr. Friedman saying so. Harav Chanoch Friedman has gone on to become a Gadol in his own right. And his sister is a tremendous Baalas Chesed married to a big Talmid Chacham as well.
But Rabbi Avarahm Friedman is a Gadol in his own right. And an Anav to boot. And as an American he can relate to the American Bachurim quite well.
He and I were in the same Shiur in high school but he surpassed me in Torah learning very quickly. He was a Masmid. I was not. But he was also quite an athlete. And he knew his baseball. To this day he will often use baseball metaphors in his Hashkafa talks.
But this is not what makes him great. It is his keen perception and insight of every individual Talmid he has a relationship with. And there are many. He knows their strengths and their weaknesses. And he is a firm believer in Chanoch L’Naar Al Pi Darko.
My son attributes his success in Torah learning directly to Rabbi Friedman. My son’s senior year in high school at HTC was a particularly difficult one. Rabbi Friedman became as close as possible to him as any Rebbe could be to any Talmid. He sacrificed a great deal of his free time (of which he had precious little to spare) and spent it learning B’Chavrusah with him.
When it was time to consider a Yeshiva program in Israel, the popular Yeshivos then were Merkaz HaTorah and Beis Yisroel… two institutions that are decidedly right wing and whose goals were to mold their American Talmidim into the Charedi mold. Rabbi Friedman recommended Yeshivat Kerem B’Yavneh for my son. He knew that the strictures of the other two Yeshivos would not suit him personally and might even chase him away from Torah.
My son went to KBY and flourished. After two years there he came back to Chicago to get his college degree at night while learning in the Yeshiva during the day. During that time Rabbi Friedman saw potential Gadlus in my son. He advised him to go to Yeshivas Mir in Jerusalem. What my son is today 15 years later is directly attributable to Rabbi Friedman. My son and I both know that.
This man is now the Rosh HaYeshiva in Skokie. I wish him much success in getting the job done… to do what’s necessary to make this Yeshiva soar. It’s a big job. A tough row to hoe. But if anyone can do it he can.
It’s official. Rabbi Avraham Friedman is the newly appointed Rosh HaYeshiva of Beis HaMedrash LaTorah, The Hebrew Theological College (HTC). The announcement was made this morning.
Rabbi Friedman is a huge Talmid Chacham and has been in Chinuch for many decades. He was a popular Rebbe in Yeshivat Kerem B’Yavneh before he came to Skokie over 25 years ago. And he was a key component in the Yeshiva’s return to respectability. Hired by former president, Rabbi Don Well along with a star studded faculty the Yeshiva began to attract students once again.
Under the leadership of former Rosh HaYeshiva Rav Shlomo Morgenstern, Rabbi Friedman played a key role in taking the Yeshiva to where it is today. As Rosh HaYeshiva, my hope is that he will be able to take it to an even higher plane and make it the Yeshiva it has the potential to be.
His background is perfect for this Yeshiva. He was raised in it. His father, attorney Joseph Friedman, ZL was a one time chairman of the board ...and at a time that there were not that many Shomrei Shabbos on that board. He was always a champion of doing the right thing. And he was in Rabbi Aaron Soloveichik’s corner during the difficult period when the Yeshiva let him go.
Joe Friedman was rewarded by Heaven for his work at Skokie and in the Chicago Jewish community as well. His three children are exemplars of Torah Jews. His oldest son, HaGaon Rav Chanoch Friedman was one of the best Talmidim of his time in Lakewood. I saw the letter Rav Aharon Kotler sent to Mr. Friedman saying so. Harav Chanoch Friedman has gone on to become a Gadol in his own right. And his sister is a tremendous Baalas Chesed married to a big Talmid Chacham as well.
But Rabbi Avarahm Friedman is a Gadol in his own right. And an Anav to boot. And as an American he can relate to the American Bachurim quite well.
He and I were in the same Shiur in high school but he surpassed me in Torah learning very quickly. He was a Masmid. I was not. But he was also quite an athlete. And he knew his baseball. To this day he will often use baseball metaphors in his Hashkafa talks.
But this is not what makes him great. It is his keen perception and insight of every individual Talmid he has a relationship with. And there are many. He knows their strengths and their weaknesses. And he is a firm believer in Chanoch L’Naar Al Pi Darko.
My son attributes his success in Torah learning directly to Rabbi Friedman. My son’s senior year in high school at HTC was a particularly difficult one. Rabbi Friedman became as close as possible to him as any Rebbe could be to any Talmid. He sacrificed a great deal of his free time (of which he had precious little to spare) and spent it learning B’Chavrusah with him.
When it was time to consider a Yeshiva program in Israel, the popular Yeshivos then were Merkaz HaTorah and Beis Yisroel… two institutions that are decidedly right wing and whose goals were to mold their American Talmidim into the Charedi mold. Rabbi Friedman recommended Yeshivat Kerem B’Yavneh for my son. He knew that the strictures of the other two Yeshivos would not suit him personally and might even chase him away from Torah.
My son went to KBY and flourished. After two years there he came back to Chicago to get his college degree at night while learning in the Yeshiva during the day. During that time Rabbi Friedman saw potential Gadlus in my son. He advised him to go to Yeshivas Mir in Jerusalem. What my son is today 15 years later is directly attributable to Rabbi Friedman. My son and I both know that.
This man is now the Rosh HaYeshiva in Skokie. I wish him much success in getting the job done… to do what’s necessary to make this Yeshiva soar. It’s a big job. A tough row to hoe. But if anyone can do it he can.
Friday, January 25, 2008
Is Flatbush Bnei Brak?
Rabbi Aaron Schechter, Rosh HaYeshiva of Yeshivas Rabbenu Chaim Berlin, has called for a boycott of a wig shop …a small business that caters to the Frum community in his neighborhood. What is it that he thinks is worthy of taking away a man’s Parnassa? It is a photo display of women wearing Shaitels ‘with the point being that it should attract a persons attention and look.’ He calls those photos Pritzus.
As reported on the Yeshiva World blog:
When approached nicely by the Yungerleit to remove the photos, the owner answered that “this is not Bnei Brak”.
I haven’t seen the pictures. But I have been told that they’re just photos of women’s faces wearing the product which I’m sure are made to look attractive. No one is going to buy a Shaitel if it makes them look ugly.
These photos apparently are not much different than the ads one finds in the Jewish Press every week. Except that they are obviously of better quality than is possible in a newspaper ad.
If this is truly the case, then Rabbi Schechter’s response is incorrect, in my view. It is in fact not that much different than what is going on in Bnei Brak. Rabbi Schechter wants to raise the level of Kedusha. I understand that perfectly well. And that is his right. Perhaps it is even his duty.
But calling for a boycott is not the way to do it. Because what he ends up doing is marginalizing the members of that community… at virtual ‘gunpoint’. He is telling them that their level of Tznius observance is not good enough and that innocuous photos are tantamount to Pritzus… promiscuity!
It is true that in this great country of ours, boycotts are an effective and legal means of achieving our goals. If there is no violence then there is absolutely nothing wrong with it. And I am 100% certain that there will be no violence in this boycott at all. If there were, Rabbi Schechter would be the first one to condemn it and call off the boycott.
But that isn’t the point. Nor is the point: ‘It’s just a photo. Big deal. Take it down and make Rabbi Schechter happy.’ The issue here is forcing one’s own standards which go beyond basic Halacha upon a Hashkaficly pluralistic community.
Rabbi Schechter has a ‘bully pulpit’. He commands enormous respect and loyalty from all his Talmidim… the students he has had over many decades. And his stature in the Torah world goes well beyond the Flatbush location of his Yeshiva. He is in fact a senior and long time member if the Agudah Moetzes. His proclamations therefore carry a lot of weight. So when he calls for a boycott, it will likely be very effective and force the wig shop into submission. It is highly unlikely that those who object to these kinds of standards will be able to overcome it - if they dare - by crossing the ‘picket line’ and shopping there.
So in the end this is nothing more than imposing one’s Tznius standards on others. It is not a Halachic issue. It is a Hashkafic issue. …to ‘raise’ the level of Kedusha in the neighborhood of his Yeshiva. A neighborhood that has a multi Hashkafic population.
Again this all assumes the pictures do not violate Halacha and expose parts of the female anatomy that are considered Erva… nakedness. If it does, than I support his right to call for a boycott and would ask people to honor it. But if as I suspect these are not in any way indecent photos, then the store owner is correct. Flatbush is indeed not Bnei Brak.
There is, however a disturbing component added into the mix here. Rabbi Schechter stated the following in his letter calling for the boycott:
I don’t want to further delve into this mans other excuses, and answers which were all filled with Chutzpah.
I don’t know what the shop owner’s ‘excuses and answers’ were, although it would be nice to know. But if he displayed Chutzpah to a group of young married Yeshiva men who were politely making a request, then he was wrong in doing so. There is never any excuse to act that way towards anyone, let alone those who dedicate their lives to learning Torah. Especially if they came in and made a polite request of a spiritual nature. This was clearly wrong and a condemnable Chilul HaShem.
But that is not the reason for the boycott. It is because in Rabbi Schechter’s view, those photos are Pritzus that should be removed. And based on what people who have seen them have told me they are not.
Brisk Yeshiva has a health food store right in its building. It has been there since the very beginning of their relocation over a decade ago. There is small photo of a woman on display in the window advertising what a healthy diet does for one’s body. It has been there for years. It is not pornographic in any way but would probably not get past the censors in the Jewish Press.
The Roshei Yeshiva in Brisk never protested them. They just ignored them. I think that’s what Rabbi Schechter should have done.
As reported on the Yeshiva World blog:
When approached nicely by the Yungerleit to remove the photos, the owner answered that “this is not Bnei Brak”.
I haven’t seen the pictures. But I have been told that they’re just photos of women’s faces wearing the product which I’m sure are made to look attractive. No one is going to buy a Shaitel if it makes them look ugly.
These photos apparently are not much different than the ads one finds in the Jewish Press every week. Except that they are obviously of better quality than is possible in a newspaper ad.
If this is truly the case, then Rabbi Schechter’s response is incorrect, in my view. It is in fact not that much different than what is going on in Bnei Brak. Rabbi Schechter wants to raise the level of Kedusha. I understand that perfectly well. And that is his right. Perhaps it is even his duty.
But calling for a boycott is not the way to do it. Because what he ends up doing is marginalizing the members of that community… at virtual ‘gunpoint’. He is telling them that their level of Tznius observance is not good enough and that innocuous photos are tantamount to Pritzus… promiscuity!
It is true that in this great country of ours, boycotts are an effective and legal means of achieving our goals. If there is no violence then there is absolutely nothing wrong with it. And I am 100% certain that there will be no violence in this boycott at all. If there were, Rabbi Schechter would be the first one to condemn it and call off the boycott.
But that isn’t the point. Nor is the point: ‘It’s just a photo. Big deal. Take it down and make Rabbi Schechter happy.’ The issue here is forcing one’s own standards which go beyond basic Halacha upon a Hashkaficly pluralistic community.
Rabbi Schechter has a ‘bully pulpit’. He commands enormous respect and loyalty from all his Talmidim… the students he has had over many decades. And his stature in the Torah world goes well beyond the Flatbush location of his Yeshiva. He is in fact a senior and long time member if the Agudah Moetzes. His proclamations therefore carry a lot of weight. So when he calls for a boycott, it will likely be very effective and force the wig shop into submission. It is highly unlikely that those who object to these kinds of standards will be able to overcome it - if they dare - by crossing the ‘picket line’ and shopping there.
So in the end this is nothing more than imposing one’s Tznius standards on others. It is not a Halachic issue. It is a Hashkafic issue. …to ‘raise’ the level of Kedusha in the neighborhood of his Yeshiva. A neighborhood that has a multi Hashkafic population.
Again this all assumes the pictures do not violate Halacha and expose parts of the female anatomy that are considered Erva… nakedness. If it does, than I support his right to call for a boycott and would ask people to honor it. But if as I suspect these are not in any way indecent photos, then the store owner is correct. Flatbush is indeed not Bnei Brak.
There is, however a disturbing component added into the mix here. Rabbi Schechter stated the following in his letter calling for the boycott:
I don’t want to further delve into this mans other excuses, and answers which were all filled with Chutzpah.
I don’t know what the shop owner’s ‘excuses and answers’ were, although it would be nice to know. But if he displayed Chutzpah to a group of young married Yeshiva men who were politely making a request, then he was wrong in doing so. There is never any excuse to act that way towards anyone, let alone those who dedicate their lives to learning Torah. Especially if they came in and made a polite request of a spiritual nature. This was clearly wrong and a condemnable Chilul HaShem.
But that is not the reason for the boycott. It is because in Rabbi Schechter’s view, those photos are Pritzus that should be removed. And based on what people who have seen them have told me they are not.
Brisk Yeshiva has a health food store right in its building. It has been there since the very beginning of their relocation over a decade ago. There is small photo of a woman on display in the window advertising what a healthy diet does for one’s body. It has been there for years. It is not pornographic in any way but would probably not get past the censors in the Jewish Press.
The Roshei Yeshiva in Brisk never protested them. They just ignored them. I think that’s what Rabbi Schechter should have done.
Thursday, January 24, 2008
Molestation - Who is to Blame and What We Can Do
One of the biggest challenges with respect to the problem of child molestation in the Torah world is the tremendous emotional capital vested into the thinking of any decent human being when assessing the situation. I find myself falling victim to it too. It is of course very understandable. The outrage we all feel when our community is suddenly and unexpectedly thrust into a world we thought we were impervious to.
Many emotions suddenly well up inside of us: outrage, anger, guilt, remorse, and certainly compassion for the victims. How can this happen in the Torah world? Who is to blame? Why didn’t we notice? Why didn’t we do more? What can we do now? These are all genuine responses and are quite legitimate.
One of the consequences of these emotions is to seek someone to blame. Obviously the person most responsible is the perpetrator himself. But they are sick individuals. Mental health professionals say that they are beyond help. Treatment doesn’t work. The only way to prevent abuse is to make certain they are kept away from children… either by long prison terms or by taking the necessary steps to protect our children. Like those suggested by Rabbi Yakov Horowitz at his website.
But as has been obvious from the start it isn’t only the perpetrator that is to blame. It is the rabbinic establishment. Indeed there is a lot of blame to be had there …both in the modern Orthodox world and in the Charedi world. Cover-ups have occurred in both camps that has enabled long term sexual molestation of young people.
It is clear that those who work for the welfare of the Torah world want to protect its image. They are therefore slow to act. But this approach has caused victims to pile up. And they are now - even many years after the fact - suffering the consequences.
As a result of this reticence and the now apparent consequences, there is a temptation to blame the entire rabbinic establishment. But not all rabbis are ‘created equal’. A lot depends on individual circumstances. I do not think it is fair to condemn all rabbinic leaders equally. There are some who have taken heroic positions. But there are others who deserve our condemnation. Their priorities are reversed.
They look at Kavod HaTorah first. That has caused them to sit on accusations of abuse fearing exposure will make the Torah world look bad. But no matter how badly the Torah world is made to look by publicly exposing perpetrators, the harm caused to the victims and their loved ones far supercedes the damage to ‘image’.
Instead of worrying so much how we will looking the eyes of the world we ought to consider how we look in the eyes of God. I don’t think God likes it when we sit on information about child molesters.
This does not mean that we shout from the rooftops the names of every accused person. That would be criminal! But it does mean that immediate steps are taken to remove the accused from any further contact with children. It means investigating as discretely as possible the charges against him. And the investigation needs to be done by professionals.
Any rabbinic figure that allows those accused to continue contact with children in any way deserves our outrage and our scorn. They do the opposite of protecting the image of the Torah world. They damage it! …comparing our response to that of the Catholic Church. Sweeping it ‘under the carpet’ is NOT Daas Torah. It is the opposite.
As far back as May of 2002, Rabbi Avrohom Chaim Levin spoke at a Torah U’mesorah convention of several hundred principals. He said about this issue: ‘There is no more room under the carpet’.
A Frum professional who has been involved many years with victims has told me that what has been reported in the media of is only the tip of the iceberg. There is a lot more child molestation in the Frum community, than anyone can possibly imagine! Unfortunately some rabbinic leaders refuse to believe that.
So whom do we blame? How much blame do we assign? Whom do we direct out outrage to? These are valid questions that need to be answered if we are to going to even begin to tackle the problem of rabbinic reticence.
Here is a partial answer.
Rabbi Yakov Horowitz had written a hard hitting essay on the issue of child molestation. That led to sweeping accustions by some of the commenters on his website against the rabbinic leadership. Rabbi Horowitz warns against broad accusations like these and objects to sweeping condemnations of all Rabbonim and the widespread notion that Rabbonim have the ability to correct all wrongs in our society. He also notes the changing times in defense of some leaders and in comment number 230 responds with the following:
I think that all fair-minded people would agree that leaders who have erred in the matter of abuse fall into several distinct categories:
a) Those who never personally encountered any victims, but in a global sense did not appreciate the gravity of abuse and incorrectly assumed that there was little or no abuse in our community.
b) Those who disbelieved or underplayed legitimate claims of molestation and/or abuse by victims, due to the fact that they found it inconceivable that a particular alleged perpetrator could commit such crimes.
c) Those who allowed children to remain in contact with individuals about whom multiple allegations had been lodged, but nothing had ever been investigated or proven.
d) Those who knowingly allowed confirmed child molesters near children even after they had clear and incontrovertible evidence that this individual had harmed children in the past.
As Rabbi Horowitz points out it is unfair to apply today's level of awareness to category 'a' and 'b.' However, category 'd' exists in far greater number than anyone cares to admit. These are the rabbis that deserve our scorn and outrage. They are guilty! And they should resign any position of leadership in the Torah world they have.
What can we do to accomplish this? I think we need a mass boycott of the institutions they head or are involved with until they resign. It doesn’t matter how Frum or how knowledgeable they are in Torah. It doesn’t matter how concerned they are about the welfare of Klal Yisroel… or the Mesiras Nefesh they have had in various worthwhile causes.
Nor does it matter how prominent they are. When image is put before the health and welfare of any human being, then - to paraphrase Rav Aharon Kotler - his “Shteleh iz Gornisht Vert”. His position is worthless! Instead of leading Klal Yisroel, he is enabling sex offenders. All his Divrei Torah and Divrei Musser pale in comparison to what he is potentially enabling.
Modern Orthodoxy learned this lesson the hard way. Ask any of the past leadership of NCSY who were asked to resign after the Joel commission report. Those rabbinic leaders wanted to protect Kavod HaTorah too. Look where that led. It enabled years of abuse and it made the Torah world look terrible. Their mission t protect their image was not accomplished. Human beings suffered. And the rabbinic leaders at NCSY paid a very heavy personal price. The reputations of good people are now tarnished forever!
The Charedi leadership refuses to learn from that event. They too will have to learn the hard way. And we can help.
Roshei Yeshiva that now harbor or who have harbored sex offenders ought to be boycotted by any parent - past, present, or potential until they reisgn. And any rabbinic leader of any institution who justifies sweeping things under the carpet ought to be forced to resign as well.
Refusing to donate money to their institutions ought to start right now. The cost of waiting is too high. Who knows how many young people are being sexually abused at this very moment in time because of their reticence?! Any Rabbinic leader who sits on information and refuses or is slow to act on it is a Mesayah L’Averiah. And yes, these leaders do exist (category 'd' of Rabbi Horowitz’s list). They are enablers of potential sex abuse. And I do not envy their Olam Habah!
Many emotions suddenly well up inside of us: outrage, anger, guilt, remorse, and certainly compassion for the victims. How can this happen in the Torah world? Who is to blame? Why didn’t we notice? Why didn’t we do more? What can we do now? These are all genuine responses and are quite legitimate.
One of the consequences of these emotions is to seek someone to blame. Obviously the person most responsible is the perpetrator himself. But they are sick individuals. Mental health professionals say that they are beyond help. Treatment doesn’t work. The only way to prevent abuse is to make certain they are kept away from children… either by long prison terms or by taking the necessary steps to protect our children. Like those suggested by Rabbi Yakov Horowitz at his website.
But as has been obvious from the start it isn’t only the perpetrator that is to blame. It is the rabbinic establishment. Indeed there is a lot of blame to be had there …both in the modern Orthodox world and in the Charedi world. Cover-ups have occurred in both camps that has enabled long term sexual molestation of young people.
It is clear that those who work for the welfare of the Torah world want to protect its image. They are therefore slow to act. But this approach has caused victims to pile up. And they are now - even many years after the fact - suffering the consequences.
As a result of this reticence and the now apparent consequences, there is a temptation to blame the entire rabbinic establishment. But not all rabbis are ‘created equal’. A lot depends on individual circumstances. I do not think it is fair to condemn all rabbinic leaders equally. There are some who have taken heroic positions. But there are others who deserve our condemnation. Their priorities are reversed.
They look at Kavod HaTorah first. That has caused them to sit on accusations of abuse fearing exposure will make the Torah world look bad. But no matter how badly the Torah world is made to look by publicly exposing perpetrators, the harm caused to the victims and their loved ones far supercedes the damage to ‘image’.
Instead of worrying so much how we will looking the eyes of the world we ought to consider how we look in the eyes of God. I don’t think God likes it when we sit on information about child molesters.
This does not mean that we shout from the rooftops the names of every accused person. That would be criminal! But it does mean that immediate steps are taken to remove the accused from any further contact with children. It means investigating as discretely as possible the charges against him. And the investigation needs to be done by professionals.
Any rabbinic figure that allows those accused to continue contact with children in any way deserves our outrage and our scorn. They do the opposite of protecting the image of the Torah world. They damage it! …comparing our response to that of the Catholic Church. Sweeping it ‘under the carpet’ is NOT Daas Torah. It is the opposite.
As far back as May of 2002, Rabbi Avrohom Chaim Levin spoke at a Torah U’mesorah convention of several hundred principals. He said about this issue: ‘There is no more room under the carpet’.
A Frum professional who has been involved many years with victims has told me that what has been reported in the media of is only the tip of the iceberg. There is a lot more child molestation in the Frum community, than anyone can possibly imagine! Unfortunately some rabbinic leaders refuse to believe that.
So whom do we blame? How much blame do we assign? Whom do we direct out outrage to? These are valid questions that need to be answered if we are to going to even begin to tackle the problem of rabbinic reticence.
Here is a partial answer.
Rabbi Yakov Horowitz had written a hard hitting essay on the issue of child molestation. That led to sweeping accustions by some of the commenters on his website against the rabbinic leadership. Rabbi Horowitz warns against broad accusations like these and objects to sweeping condemnations of all Rabbonim and the widespread notion that Rabbonim have the ability to correct all wrongs in our society. He also notes the changing times in defense of some leaders and in comment number 230 responds with the following:
I think that all fair-minded people would agree that leaders who have erred in the matter of abuse fall into several distinct categories:
a) Those who never personally encountered any victims, but in a global sense did not appreciate the gravity of abuse and incorrectly assumed that there was little or no abuse in our community.
b) Those who disbelieved or underplayed legitimate claims of molestation and/or abuse by victims, due to the fact that they found it inconceivable that a particular alleged perpetrator could commit such crimes.
c) Those who allowed children to remain in contact with individuals about whom multiple allegations had been lodged, but nothing had ever been investigated or proven.
d) Those who knowingly allowed confirmed child molesters near children even after they had clear and incontrovertible evidence that this individual had harmed children in the past.
As Rabbi Horowitz points out it is unfair to apply today's level of awareness to category 'a' and 'b.' However, category 'd' exists in far greater number than anyone cares to admit. These are the rabbis that deserve our scorn and outrage. They are guilty! And they should resign any position of leadership in the Torah world they have.
What can we do to accomplish this? I think we need a mass boycott of the institutions they head or are involved with until they resign. It doesn’t matter how Frum or how knowledgeable they are in Torah. It doesn’t matter how concerned they are about the welfare of Klal Yisroel… or the Mesiras Nefesh they have had in various worthwhile causes.
Nor does it matter how prominent they are. When image is put before the health and welfare of any human being, then - to paraphrase Rav Aharon Kotler - his “Shteleh iz Gornisht Vert”. His position is worthless! Instead of leading Klal Yisroel, he is enabling sex offenders. All his Divrei Torah and Divrei Musser pale in comparison to what he is potentially enabling.
Modern Orthodoxy learned this lesson the hard way. Ask any of the past leadership of NCSY who were asked to resign after the Joel commission report. Those rabbinic leaders wanted to protect Kavod HaTorah too. Look where that led. It enabled years of abuse and it made the Torah world look terrible. Their mission t protect their image was not accomplished. Human beings suffered. And the rabbinic leaders at NCSY paid a very heavy personal price. The reputations of good people are now tarnished forever!
The Charedi leadership refuses to learn from that event. They too will have to learn the hard way. And we can help.
Roshei Yeshiva that now harbor or who have harbored sex offenders ought to be boycotted by any parent - past, present, or potential until they reisgn. And any rabbinic leader of any institution who justifies sweeping things under the carpet ought to be forced to resign as well.
Refusing to donate money to their institutions ought to start right now. The cost of waiting is too high. Who knows how many young people are being sexually abused at this very moment in time because of their reticence?! Any Rabbinic leader who sits on information and refuses or is slow to act on it is a Mesayah L’Averiah. And yes, these leaders do exist (category 'd' of Rabbi Horowitz’s list). They are enablers of potential sex abuse. And I do not envy their Olam Habah!
Wednesday, January 23, 2008
Be There!
New Update: The information below* following this post has been forwarded to me by a source in RBS via an email sent to him. Please note another change of location it is at: Meyerhoff Matnas. I will post the address as soon as I have it.
Hopefully the following will be a huge step forward in the direction of solving the problems plaguing what is otherwise a mostly beautiful Torah community... a problem that has made international headlines.
A source from Ramat Bet Shemesh has just contacted me after returning from a meeting about the escalating violence there.
The single most important thing that was stressed was that as many people as possible should come to a meeting on Monday at Meyerhoff Matnas at 5pm , at which the chief of police will also be present. The more people that come, the more pressure there will be on the mayor and the chief to do something.
It is imperative that as many people as possible attend this meeting. I especially urge that it be a united effort, Charedim and Datim alike in equal number. I think that a show of unity like that will impress city officials about just how serious this is being taken by the citizens of Bet Shemesh. It must be impressed upon the mayor and police chief by the good citizens of the community that they wish these animals to be hunted down and fully prosecuted. …and if convicted, to be given maximum sentences in jail. No exceptions.
R. Tuvia Stern stood up to these thugs and paid a heavy price. This is an opportunity to both stand with him in solidarity and show determination in ridding the town of these thugs and their leaders. Let not the suffering of R. Stern at the hands of these thugs be in vein. They should not be allowed to go unpunished. Law enforcement should be unleashed on these monsters until they are all caught, arrested, and locked up for what they did.
Let a lesson be learned by those who would through force of violence, impose their extreme religious standards on others. They will not succeed. They should be put on notice: They will be caught and they will be punished to the fullest extent of the law. No more ‘get out of jail free’ cards will be issued to anyone convicted of this crime. Not any more.
* The Mayor's staff has deduced that the little board room in the Mayor's office will not accomodate all of the people who will be coming to the meeting on **Monday, January 28th, at 5:00 pm**. Therefore, they are moving it to a much larger venue: Meyerhoff Matnas.
How to prepare for the meeting?
1. First of all: COME! We need everyone's support.
2. Invite your Russian, Ethiopian, Morrocan, French, non-Anglo neighbors and friends to join us!
3. Email me: Ddlipman@aol.com ...your pointed questions in advance, so I can compile a list, translate them into Hebrew, and make sure that we cover all critical points.
Updated: 1/24/08 9:28 AM CST
Hopefully the following will be a huge step forward in the direction of solving the problems plaguing what is otherwise a mostly beautiful Torah community... a problem that has made international headlines.
A source from Ramat Bet Shemesh has just contacted me after returning from a meeting about the escalating violence there.
The single most important thing that was stressed was that as many people as possible should come to a meeting on Monday at Meyerhoff Matnas at 5pm , at which the chief of police will also be present. The more people that come, the more pressure there will be on the mayor and the chief to do something.
It is imperative that as many people as possible attend this meeting. I especially urge that it be a united effort, Charedim and Datim alike in equal number. I think that a show of unity like that will impress city officials about just how serious this is being taken by the citizens of Bet Shemesh. It must be impressed upon the mayor and police chief by the good citizens of the community that they wish these animals to be hunted down and fully prosecuted. …and if convicted, to be given maximum sentences in jail. No exceptions.
R. Tuvia Stern stood up to these thugs and paid a heavy price. This is an opportunity to both stand with him in solidarity and show determination in ridding the town of these thugs and their leaders. Let not the suffering of R. Stern at the hands of these thugs be in vein. They should not be allowed to go unpunished. Law enforcement should be unleashed on these monsters until they are all caught, arrested, and locked up for what they did.
Let a lesson be learned by those who would through force of violence, impose their extreme religious standards on others. They will not succeed. They should be put on notice: They will be caught and they will be punished to the fullest extent of the law. No more ‘get out of jail free’ cards will be issued to anyone convicted of this crime. Not any more.
* The Mayor's staff has deduced that the little board room in the Mayor's office will not accomodate all of the people who will be coming to the meeting on **Monday, January 28th, at 5:00 pm**. Therefore, they are moving it to a much larger venue: Meyerhoff Matnas.
How to prepare for the meeting?
1. First of all: COME! We need everyone's support.
2. Invite your Russian, Ethiopian, Morrocan, French, non-Anglo neighbors and friends to join us!
3. Email me: Ddlipman@aol.com ...your pointed questions in advance, so I can compile a list, translate them into Hebrew, and make sure that we cover all critical points.
Updated: 1/24/08 9:28 AM CST
Perlstein Must Go!
This man must be stopped. He is part of the problem not part of the solution. Rabbi Perlstein is a Charedi Rav in Ramat Bet Shemesh A. Nothing particularly wrong with that. Except for the fact that he is also a terrorist bully.
Maybe he is not a terrorist in the same sense as those who beat up defenseless women - like those in Ramat Bet Shemesh B. But he certainly shares their values. How can I say that? Well watch the video and you be the judge. I wrote about this event at the time.
There was peaceful and enjoyable concert in the main park of Ramat Bet Shemesh on Lag B’Omer a few years ago. It was attended by religious families in that community. Charedi as well as Dati. But it was disrupted by Rabbi Perlstein and his goons because it was not segregated by sex. A beautiful day in the park was turned into a nasty event. In the middle of the concert while a city official addressed the crowd, Rabbi Pearlstein and company jumped on the stage, commandeered a microphone and ordered people to disperse and go home. The people who attended must have been stunned! A beautiful day ruined!
Who is Rabbi Perlstein? How did he come to be a Rav in that community? When the Charedi presence there had grown to a critical mass, this fellow was brought in from England by a group of Charedim as a rabbinic presence to give them guidance and Psak Halacha. I once attended his Shul on a weekday. He is very personable. But that is apparently a façade. The truth came out a couple of years go on Lag B’Omer.
Rabbi Perlstein has also established a girl’s high school that is run by his wife. By coincidence, it is known as Perlstein. If I understand correctly the curriculum does not include any secular studies… or at best a very minimal amount.
The primary girls high school is one called Ko Tomar. It too is Charedi. But it has a secular studies program that requires passing Bagrut… Israel’s equivalent of the New York Regent’s exam. In other words the girls get to actually have a decent education.
Guess what’s happening. In the rush to send their children to the Frummest school possible, many Charedim choose Perlstein over Ko Tomar. I don’t know what else is being taught at Perlstein but if it was founded by a Charedi with the same values as the terrorists in Ramat Bet Shemesh B, it can’t be good.
The latest outrage is reported in Rafi’s Life in Israel blog. Rabbi Perlstein has taken a building promised to Ko Tomar and commandeered it for himself using his cronies in government to get the job done.
It’s time to stand up to this bully. He ought to pack up and go back to England. And take his school with him. I urge all people of good will to stop giving any financial support to this man because supporting him supports his thuggery.
Maybe he is not a terrorist in the same sense as those who beat up defenseless women - like those in Ramat Bet Shemesh B. But he certainly shares their values. How can I say that? Well watch the video and you be the judge. I wrote about this event at the time.
There was peaceful and enjoyable concert in the main park of Ramat Bet Shemesh on Lag B’Omer a few years ago. It was attended by religious families in that community. Charedi as well as Dati. But it was disrupted by Rabbi Perlstein and his goons because it was not segregated by sex. A beautiful day in the park was turned into a nasty event. In the middle of the concert while a city official addressed the crowd, Rabbi Pearlstein and company jumped on the stage, commandeered a microphone and ordered people to disperse and go home. The people who attended must have been stunned! A beautiful day ruined!
Who is Rabbi Perlstein? How did he come to be a Rav in that community? When the Charedi presence there had grown to a critical mass, this fellow was brought in from England by a group of Charedim as a rabbinic presence to give them guidance and Psak Halacha. I once attended his Shul on a weekday. He is very personable. But that is apparently a façade. The truth came out a couple of years go on Lag B’Omer.
Rabbi Perlstein has also established a girl’s high school that is run by his wife. By coincidence, it is known as Perlstein. If I understand correctly the curriculum does not include any secular studies… or at best a very minimal amount.
The primary girls high school is one called Ko Tomar. It too is Charedi. But it has a secular studies program that requires passing Bagrut… Israel’s equivalent of the New York Regent’s exam. In other words the girls get to actually have a decent education.
Guess what’s happening. In the rush to send their children to the Frummest school possible, many Charedim choose Perlstein over Ko Tomar. I don’t know what else is being taught at Perlstein but if it was founded by a Charedi with the same values as the terrorists in Ramat Bet Shemesh B, it can’t be good.
The latest outrage is reported in Rafi’s Life in Israel blog. Rabbi Perlstein has taken a building promised to Ko Tomar and commandeered it for himself using his cronies in government to get the job done.
It’s time to stand up to this bully. He ought to pack up and go back to England. And take his school with him. I urge all people of good will to stop giving any financial support to this man because supporting him supports his thuggery.
Tuesday, January 22, 2008
Why Do Girls Drop Out?
There has been much discussion in the Orthodox Jewish media about young people who drop out of Torah observance, the so called ‘Off the Derech’ problem. But I have to date seen little in the way of discussing gender differences in this phenomenon. Until now.
In a fascinating article by Naomi Seidman we now get some female perspective. She tells us of her odyssey out of Orthodoxy.
Breifly her trek went from being part a community in Brooklyn’s Boro Park neighborhood which is almost exclusively Orthodox and in which she attended the ultra-Orthodox Beis Yakov school system… to one of complete rejection of any Mitzvah observance today as an adult.
One of the insights I gained from her article is that the reasons for dropouts between the genders are very different. It seems that the when a boy drops out, it can be attributed to a variety of reasons. These include but are not limited to: learning disabilities, social awkwardness among peers, unanswered - or poorly answered questions of faith, or simply the desire to be free of religious burden. But for girls the assumption is that it almost always about promiscuity. Here is how she puts it:
A boy might conceivably become an apikores, a heretic, but transgression in a girl could only mean something sexual. The first few steps of the Beis Yakov girl gone bad were visible enough: I knew girls who sneaked out of camp to meet boys at pizza stores in the Catskills, who wore their denim skirts over the knee and hung posters of David Cassidy inside their closet doors. They were “bums”.
Ms. Seidman did not go that route. She was a doubter. She had unanswered questions. And she had a yearning to be free of a burden she saw as unnecessary… questioning the very premises of out faith.
It is in fact unfair to generally assign a single cause to women and multiple causes for men. I wonder if there have ever been any studies about gender differences among those who have left the fold.
If one thinks about it, however, there is definitely a basis for the assumption on the part of the religious world as to why girls go off the Derech. The reasons for this assumption might be found in the strict requirements of female dress codes. A large part of the female religious educational experience is the dress codes.
They are taught from the earliest ages that they must not be attracting to boys. In an attempt to achieve that goal dress codes of many religious girls schools go well beyond the necessity of Halachic requirement. This is especially true in Israel but is nonetheless a major factor in the US too. Indeed it is hinted at in Ms. Seidman’s article.
My own jeans were hidden behind the schoolbooks on my shelf; on Sunday afternoons, I perfected the quick-change from skirt to pants, and (less happily) back again
I’m not saying that Beis Yakov’s should start allowing their students to wear pants. But I think this activity reflects a real desire to dress normally and comfortably that is increasingly being limited.
Unreasonable pressures like these dress codes can easily lead to innocent or even not so innocent violations of those dress codes. A denim dress. A brightly colored blouse… a skirt two inches below the knee insead of the school mandated three inches…the slightest infractions can lead to dismissal from a school. Such girls are shunned by other schools as troublemakers or to putt it the way Ms. Seidman does: as bums! This kind of pressure can easily lead to dropping out of observance.
So the truth is that I do think there is validity to the assumption that dropouts have a high correlation to promiscuity. But not in the way it is commonly understood. It’s not that these girls are actually promiscuous. At least they don’t start out that way. Most just want to have a little freedom. Freedom to choose their clothing styles. Styles that are well within the parameters of Halacha.
In the ever increasing world of Chumra piled on top of Chumra… where Beis Yakov schools are tripping all over themsleves to be perceived as the Frummest school in the city, too many girls are given virtually no freedom at all to express themselves. And even those that successfully do conform, do so at a great cost in my view. They are stripped of their individuality… conforming to the ever increasing standards of dress codes that leaves little room personal expression.
True, dress codes are only one factor. Other areas of behavior are factors too and affect both sexes: The ‘Frum Chase’ affects what one can read, what kond of music is appropriate… even if it is Jewish… or any other extra curricular activity. The severe limitations on leisure time activity leaves little available recreational activities. If caught doing them, young people become branded as bums! …a label that is virtually impossible to remove.
I feel badly that someone of such high intelligence as Ms. Seidman has left the fold. But based on her story, I’m not sure we could have prevented her from dropping out. But because of the problems I have outlined, I think that her reasons are not why the majority of young women drop out.
Not because girls are different than boys in the ‘dropout department’. Given similar circumstances the reasons they leave might be identical. But the circumstances are decidedly not identical. Boys are not hammered over the head about dress codes. At least not for reasons of promiscuity. Girls most definitely are.
Definitely food for thought.
In a fascinating article by Naomi Seidman we now get some female perspective. She tells us of her odyssey out of Orthodoxy.
Breifly her trek went from being part a community in Brooklyn’s Boro Park neighborhood which is almost exclusively Orthodox and in which she attended the ultra-Orthodox Beis Yakov school system… to one of complete rejection of any Mitzvah observance today as an adult.
One of the insights I gained from her article is that the reasons for dropouts between the genders are very different. It seems that the when a boy drops out, it can be attributed to a variety of reasons. These include but are not limited to: learning disabilities, social awkwardness among peers, unanswered - or poorly answered questions of faith, or simply the desire to be free of religious burden. But for girls the assumption is that it almost always about promiscuity. Here is how she puts it:
A boy might conceivably become an apikores, a heretic, but transgression in a girl could only mean something sexual. The first few steps of the Beis Yakov girl gone bad were visible enough: I knew girls who sneaked out of camp to meet boys at pizza stores in the Catskills, who wore their denim skirts over the knee and hung posters of David Cassidy inside their closet doors. They were “bums”.
Ms. Seidman did not go that route. She was a doubter. She had unanswered questions. And she had a yearning to be free of a burden she saw as unnecessary… questioning the very premises of out faith.
It is in fact unfair to generally assign a single cause to women and multiple causes for men. I wonder if there have ever been any studies about gender differences among those who have left the fold.
If one thinks about it, however, there is definitely a basis for the assumption on the part of the religious world as to why girls go off the Derech. The reasons for this assumption might be found in the strict requirements of female dress codes. A large part of the female religious educational experience is the dress codes.
They are taught from the earliest ages that they must not be attracting to boys. In an attempt to achieve that goal dress codes of many religious girls schools go well beyond the necessity of Halachic requirement. This is especially true in Israel but is nonetheless a major factor in the US too. Indeed it is hinted at in Ms. Seidman’s article.
My own jeans were hidden behind the schoolbooks on my shelf; on Sunday afternoons, I perfected the quick-change from skirt to pants, and (less happily) back again
I’m not saying that Beis Yakov’s should start allowing their students to wear pants. But I think this activity reflects a real desire to dress normally and comfortably that is increasingly being limited.
Unreasonable pressures like these dress codes can easily lead to innocent or even not so innocent violations of those dress codes. A denim dress. A brightly colored blouse… a skirt two inches below the knee insead of the school mandated three inches…the slightest infractions can lead to dismissal from a school. Such girls are shunned by other schools as troublemakers or to putt it the way Ms. Seidman does: as bums! This kind of pressure can easily lead to dropping out of observance.
So the truth is that I do think there is validity to the assumption that dropouts have a high correlation to promiscuity. But not in the way it is commonly understood. It’s not that these girls are actually promiscuous. At least they don’t start out that way. Most just want to have a little freedom. Freedom to choose their clothing styles. Styles that are well within the parameters of Halacha.
In the ever increasing world of Chumra piled on top of Chumra… where Beis Yakov schools are tripping all over themsleves to be perceived as the Frummest school in the city, too many girls are given virtually no freedom at all to express themselves. And even those that successfully do conform, do so at a great cost in my view. They are stripped of their individuality… conforming to the ever increasing standards of dress codes that leaves little room personal expression.
True, dress codes are only one factor. Other areas of behavior are factors too and affect both sexes: The ‘Frum Chase’ affects what one can read, what kond of music is appropriate… even if it is Jewish… or any other extra curricular activity. The severe limitations on leisure time activity leaves little available recreational activities. If caught doing them, young people become branded as bums! …a label that is virtually impossible to remove.
I feel badly that someone of such high intelligence as Ms. Seidman has left the fold. But based on her story, I’m not sure we could have prevented her from dropping out. But because of the problems I have outlined, I think that her reasons are not why the majority of young women drop out.
Not because girls are different than boys in the ‘dropout department’. Given similar circumstances the reasons they leave might be identical. But the circumstances are decidedly not identical. Boys are not hammered over the head about dress codes. At least not for reasons of promiscuity. Girls most definitely are.
Definitely food for thought.
Monday, January 21, 2008
A Charedi Hero
The victim’s name is Tuvia Stern. He is a Charedi. He lives in Ramat Bet Shemesh B and he is a hero who has paid a price! An American Oleh, he is man of conviction who stood up to these Charedi terrorist thugs! And now he lies in a hospital after being severely beaten by people from his own community!
As is typical of the smug individuals who refuse to see what’s going on in their own community, I was challenged more than once about the veracity of my source. “Why hasn’t it made the media?” I was asked. Why hasn’t it even made the local bulletin boards in Ramat Bet Shemesh? Well, my source is impeccable. But for those who continue to harbor doubt take a look at the photos at Rafi’s Life in Israel blog. Read what he has to say. Then tell me it didn’t happen!
Tuvia Stern deserves our support. Not just in word but in deed. He is a man who cares about Klal Yisroel. And did what he could… what he felt was necessary to stop these Charedi terrorist thugs from terrorizing their communities.
There are community leaders in Ramat bet Shemesh that have at best been reticent about taking a public stance on this issue. As someone who lives in Ramat Bet Shemesh has said, they very quickly sign on to a public call to observe the highest standards of Tznius. But when it comes to signing on in equal measure to a public call condemning these these Charedi terrorist thugs… they have thus far not done so in equal measure. Have they taken out an ad in a magazine similar to the one calling for Tznius observance? I doubt it.
Again, illustrating my point about their greater obsession with Bein Adam L’Makom then with Bein Adam L’Chavero.
The Mishna in Nedarim corroborates what I have said many times on this blog. Some Jews care more about violating Hilchos Terumah that they do about killing another Jew! One is allowed to make a false Neder based on the fear of such people. These Charedi terrorists are such people!
The Rabbanim of Ramat bet Shemesh need to change course and focus on the larger issue of Pikuach Nefesh. Peoples lives are in danger. These people are capable of murder! I have no doubt about that.
The entire community of Ramat Bet Shemesh A, Charedi and Dati alike ought to unite. This outrage transcends all Hashkafos. The goal is to rid this community of the Charedi terrorist thugs primarily by putting them in jail for a long time... to the maximum extent of time the law provides for these crimes. There has to be maximum cooperation with the police.
The homes of the Ramat Bet Shemesh Rabbanim should be peacefully picketed. The Rabbanim of Ramat Bet Shemseh A should unite in opposition to the violent Charedi terrorists and lead the way in demanding that the entire community cooperate with the police. To the extent possible Rabbanim from Ramat Bet Shemesh B be should be invited to join forces with them. Those Rabbanim that refuse should be publicized as terrorist sympathizers in magazines, newspapers, and billboard posters.
One of my sources has informed me of a planned demonstration that is to take place tonight in Ramat Bet Shemesh at 7:00 PM local time. The location is at Nahar HaYarden 9. I urge as many people attend as possible and I hope that the crowd contains as many Charedim as Datim.
Another source has actually had contact with the victim’s family. Here is what he told me:
One of the main leaders of the gang of thugs in RBS is Avrohom Yitzchak Mermelstein.
He lives at: 6 Karlin Blvd, unit 304
His phone number is: 845-781-8025
First, I implore all residents of Ramat Bet Shemesh to refrain from any violence against this individual. We are not the terrorists. But this individual should not be left alone either. He needs to know that there will be consequences to his actions. He needs to be picketed peacefully but relentlessly. He should never be allowed to go anywhere without the escort of picketers… potential witnesses to his crimes of terror, whether they be directly committed by him or instigated by him.
Let Tuvia Stern know that we stand by him and that his acts of courage that resulted in his being so severely being beaten will not be in vein.
Post script: My source arranged for me to speak to the victim. I got off the phone with him moments ago. He graciously consented to give me his e-mail address:
tuvya.stern@yahoo.com
Please send letters of support.
Updated: 1/21/07/ 10:00 AM CST
As is typical of the smug individuals who refuse to see what’s going on in their own community, I was challenged more than once about the veracity of my source. “Why hasn’t it made the media?” I was asked. Why hasn’t it even made the local bulletin boards in Ramat Bet Shemesh? Well, my source is impeccable. But for those who continue to harbor doubt take a look at the photos at Rafi’s Life in Israel blog. Read what he has to say. Then tell me it didn’t happen!
Tuvia Stern deserves our support. Not just in word but in deed. He is a man who cares about Klal Yisroel. And did what he could… what he felt was necessary to stop these Charedi terrorist thugs from terrorizing their communities.
There are community leaders in Ramat bet Shemesh that have at best been reticent about taking a public stance on this issue. As someone who lives in Ramat Bet Shemesh has said, they very quickly sign on to a public call to observe the highest standards of Tznius. But when it comes to signing on in equal measure to a public call condemning these these Charedi terrorist thugs… they have thus far not done so in equal measure. Have they taken out an ad in a magazine similar to the one calling for Tznius observance? I doubt it.
Again, illustrating my point about their greater obsession with Bein Adam L’Makom then with Bein Adam L’Chavero.
The Mishna in Nedarim corroborates what I have said many times on this blog. Some Jews care more about violating Hilchos Terumah that they do about killing another Jew! One is allowed to make a false Neder based on the fear of such people. These Charedi terrorists are such people!
The Rabbanim of Ramat bet Shemesh need to change course and focus on the larger issue of Pikuach Nefesh. Peoples lives are in danger. These people are capable of murder! I have no doubt about that.
The entire community of Ramat Bet Shemesh A, Charedi and Dati alike ought to unite. This outrage transcends all Hashkafos. The goal is to rid this community of the Charedi terrorist thugs primarily by putting them in jail for a long time... to the maximum extent of time the law provides for these crimes. There has to be maximum cooperation with the police.
The homes of the Ramat Bet Shemesh Rabbanim should be peacefully picketed. The Rabbanim of Ramat Bet Shemseh A should unite in opposition to the violent Charedi terrorists and lead the way in demanding that the entire community cooperate with the police. To the extent possible Rabbanim from Ramat Bet Shemesh B be should be invited to join forces with them. Those Rabbanim that refuse should be publicized as terrorist sympathizers in magazines, newspapers, and billboard posters.
One of my sources has informed me of a planned demonstration that is to take place tonight in Ramat Bet Shemesh at 7:00 PM local time. The location is at Nahar HaYarden 9. I urge as many people attend as possible and I hope that the crowd contains as many Charedim as Datim.
Another source has actually had contact with the victim’s family. Here is what he told me:
One of the main leaders of the gang of thugs in RBS is Avrohom Yitzchak Mermelstein.
He lives at: 6 Karlin Blvd, unit 304
His phone number is: 845-781-8025
First, I implore all residents of Ramat Bet Shemesh to refrain from any violence against this individual. We are not the terrorists. But this individual should not be left alone either. He needs to know that there will be consequences to his actions. He needs to be picketed peacefully but relentlessly. He should never be allowed to go anywhere without the escort of picketers… potential witnesses to his crimes of terror, whether they be directly committed by him or instigated by him.
Let Tuvia Stern know that we stand by him and that his acts of courage that resulted in his being so severely being beaten will not be in vein.
Post script: My source arranged for me to speak to the victim. I got off the phone with him moments ago. He graciously consented to give me his e-mail address:
tuvya.stern@yahoo.com
Please send letters of support.
Updated: 1/21/07/ 10:00 AM CST
Sunday, January 20, 2008
The Sick Charedim of Ramat Bet Shemesh
I am at my wits end and am shaking as I write this. A short while ago, les than a couple of hours as of this writing, an innocent man was severely beaten in Ramat Bet Shemesh. I just received a phone call from a source informing me of this. Why was he beaten? What was his crime? It was organizing a peaceful protest against exactly this kind of violence a couple of months ago. His car was vandalized. The windows were smashed. And he was beaten to a pulp!
An observant and Ehrliche Jew who cares about his community, who dared to sugest that his community be a peaceful one... one of tolerance and acceptance… has just paid a very heavy price for expressing that desire.
This incident follows a letter I received less than 24 hours ago. It is from another resident of a Ramat Bet Shemesh neighborhood called Sheinfeld. He informed me of new threat violence from a Charedi neighbor… one who had just moved into a new development adjacent to his. The threat is described in a communication by a community leader to the residents of that neighborhood. Here it is:
One of the families that already moved in received their second letter this week from the Recido buildings (…Buildings which are the beginning of Ramat Beit Shemesh Bet and are filled with only Chareidim) across the street regarding a television they had that faced the street. The first letter simply asked them to remove it, but the second letter included a threat- basically that if any harm falls on them or their belongings, they (the Recido residents) cannot be held responsible, since they (the new family) had ignored the first warning.
I don’t know what is happening to the beautiful community I see when I go there. But things are getting so out of control that it frightens me.
That there are plenty of complaints by both segments against each other is clear. But I never in my wildest dreams ever thought I would see this kind of activity by one religious Jew against another. This is sick! And I blame Charedim on both sides of Ramat Bet Shemesh, not just Bet.
They express an attitude of intolerance in the name of living a life ‘Al Tharas HaKodesh’. That is... living a life that is as holy and spiritual as possible. And that entails going to the most extreme lengths possible to achieve those ends. That in turn generates a tremendous animosity to those who are not interested in going to such extreme lengths.
That type of intolerance is facilitated by a sense rightous indignation on the part of people like the above letter writer. And that generated a severe beating of a fellow Jew. There is no benefit to Charedim now decrying it. It is spilled milk. Ingrained attitudes or rightous indignation caused one man to take matters into his own hands. Charedim condmening the violence is of little benefit when their veiws on Tznius are sympathetic to those who pepetrate the violence.
It is clear to me from the many Charedi commeters on this blog where their true sympathies lie. They are squarely on the side of Charedi interests. And while they pay lip service to opposing the violence, clearly they are far more concerned with the level of Kedusha they feel the Charedim are entitled to. That’s the constant message I get from them! They rarely express outrage and instead chalk it up to ‘the extremist criminal element’ among Charedim. Well, I think the above letter at the very minimum shows that it is more than a just a few extremists that are involved.
As for the severe beating a fellow observant Jew received... the time has come for the religious Jews of that community to stop the harmful obsession with their extreme ‘standards’ of Bein Adam L’Makom and start caring more about their standards of Bein Adam L’Chaveiro. Because right now their only Bein Adam L’Chavero seems to be for like minded Charedim. The hatred between them is palpable. And it is Charedim that seem to be the ones who resort to violence to get their way.
It is sickening! It is ugly! It is shameful! If this is how Charedim are going to lead their lives… if extreme standards are valued at so great a level that beating like this are generated… if this is what they teach their children either directly or through example, then they are worthless!
And frankly I can now understand very easily why the police treat Charedim so poorly. It has nothing to do with the police being anti religious. A growing number of Charedim are proving to be a very violent group of people.
I know not all Charedim think this way. Plenty do, but I realize that there are some (hopefully many) who sympathize with this post. And they are the key to a resolution of this crisis. The community of Ramat Bet Shemesh has to unite. Charedim who are disgusted by such letters and beatings ought to unite with their fellow Ramat Bet Shemesh Datim.
The goal ought to be the eradicating of this mentality that justifies violence and all practitioners of it. To that end, every perpetrator ought to be handed over to the police. Local rabbis who defend these people or hide their identities should be put on notice. They will be protested and picketed by both Datim and Charedim until they are removed from the community.
Charedim and Datim alike ought to stand side by side demanding all violent Charedim spend a long time in jail. It will take some courage. But only a grass roots action like this will save this community from a civil war that will destroy it.
An observant and Ehrliche Jew who cares about his community, who dared to sugest that his community be a peaceful one... one of tolerance and acceptance… has just paid a very heavy price for expressing that desire.
This incident follows a letter I received less than 24 hours ago. It is from another resident of a Ramat Bet Shemesh neighborhood called Sheinfeld. He informed me of new threat violence from a Charedi neighbor… one who had just moved into a new development adjacent to his. The threat is described in a communication by a community leader to the residents of that neighborhood. Here it is:
One of the families that already moved in received their second letter this week from the Recido buildings (…Buildings which are the beginning of Ramat Beit Shemesh Bet and are filled with only Chareidim) across the street regarding a television they had that faced the street. The first letter simply asked them to remove it, but the second letter included a threat- basically that if any harm falls on them or their belongings, they (the Recido residents) cannot be held responsible, since they (the new family) had ignored the first warning.
I don’t know what is happening to the beautiful community I see when I go there. But things are getting so out of control that it frightens me.
That there are plenty of complaints by both segments against each other is clear. But I never in my wildest dreams ever thought I would see this kind of activity by one religious Jew against another. This is sick! And I blame Charedim on both sides of Ramat Bet Shemesh, not just Bet.
They express an attitude of intolerance in the name of living a life ‘Al Tharas HaKodesh’. That is... living a life that is as holy and spiritual as possible. And that entails going to the most extreme lengths possible to achieve those ends. That in turn generates a tremendous animosity to those who are not interested in going to such extreme lengths.
That type of intolerance is facilitated by a sense rightous indignation on the part of people like the above letter writer. And that generated a severe beating of a fellow Jew. There is no benefit to Charedim now decrying it. It is spilled milk. Ingrained attitudes or rightous indignation caused one man to take matters into his own hands. Charedim condmening the violence is of little benefit when their veiws on Tznius are sympathetic to those who pepetrate the violence.
It is clear to me from the many Charedi commeters on this blog where their true sympathies lie. They are squarely on the side of Charedi interests. And while they pay lip service to opposing the violence, clearly they are far more concerned with the level of Kedusha they feel the Charedim are entitled to. That’s the constant message I get from them! They rarely express outrage and instead chalk it up to ‘the extremist criminal element’ among Charedim. Well, I think the above letter at the very minimum shows that it is more than a just a few extremists that are involved.
As for the severe beating a fellow observant Jew received... the time has come for the religious Jews of that community to stop the harmful obsession with their extreme ‘standards’ of Bein Adam L’Makom and start caring more about their standards of Bein Adam L’Chaveiro. Because right now their only Bein Adam L’Chavero seems to be for like minded Charedim. The hatred between them is palpable. And it is Charedim that seem to be the ones who resort to violence to get their way.
It is sickening! It is ugly! It is shameful! If this is how Charedim are going to lead their lives… if extreme standards are valued at so great a level that beating like this are generated… if this is what they teach their children either directly or through example, then they are worthless!
And frankly I can now understand very easily why the police treat Charedim so poorly. It has nothing to do with the police being anti religious. A growing number of Charedim are proving to be a very violent group of people.
I know not all Charedim think this way. Plenty do, but I realize that there are some (hopefully many) who sympathize with this post. And they are the key to a resolution of this crisis. The community of Ramat Bet Shemesh has to unite. Charedim who are disgusted by such letters and beatings ought to unite with their fellow Ramat Bet Shemesh Datim.
The goal ought to be the eradicating of this mentality that justifies violence and all practitioners of it. To that end, every perpetrator ought to be handed over to the police. Local rabbis who defend these people or hide their identities should be put on notice. They will be protested and picketed by both Datim and Charedim until they are removed from the community.
Charedim and Datim alike ought to stand side by side demanding all violent Charedim spend a long time in jail. It will take some courage. But only a grass roots action like this will save this community from a civil war that will destroy it.
When Sexual Abuse is Suspected
There has been much discussion here and elsewhere about the outrage we all feel towards the way sexual abuse has been handled by the Torah world in the past. There has certainly been a ‘keep it quiet’ mentality in the Torah world that has helped perpetuate years and even decades of some of the most disgusting abuse by sexual predators. This has exposed ...and continues to expose innocent children to attacks.
And there has yet to be sufficient attention paid to it, in my view. By far. But I think that the following recommendations should stand out as a very minimum response to the situation we find ourselves in. This will not solve the problem but it will help. The following are not my words. They are the words of a religious psychiatrist (modified slightly to simplify). They are Psak Halacha. I agree with these words and present them with a sense of great urgency.
One must report allegations of child abuse (sexual or physical) when one is aware of it, (even if this means that the child might be places in a Gentile foster home).
If a child or infant is brought to a hospital with symptoms of sexual abuse... it is prohibited, after an investigation, to return him to his home. It is obligatory for the doctor to inform the courts, and with an order from the court, place the child with a foster parent or agency. There is no problem of informing. This is permitted even if they will place the child, due to no choice, with a family or agency that is secular.
It is permitted for the doctor to inform the authorities even if it is possible that the child will be placed with a family or agency that is not Jewish...
Sexual abuse (of either boys or girls) is no different than physical abuse. There is no difference between boys and girls since one is dealing with a seriously life wounding event and a danger to the public... one certainly must report this matter to the school administration and if nothing is done, even to the police.
I would only add that if nothing is done, the lag time between reporting it to the school and reporting to the police should be of very short duration… perhaps not more than a few days.
Is there anyone that could agree with this? This is the correct perspective for any Torah Jew to have. Our starting point should always be from the perspective of the victim. Their welfare should be our foremost concern. All else is at best secondary.
And there has yet to be sufficient attention paid to it, in my view. By far. But I think that the following recommendations should stand out as a very minimum response to the situation we find ourselves in. This will not solve the problem but it will help. The following are not my words. They are the words of a religious psychiatrist (modified slightly to simplify). They are Psak Halacha. I agree with these words and present them with a sense of great urgency.
One must report allegations of child abuse (sexual or physical) when one is aware of it, (even if this means that the child might be places in a Gentile foster home).
If a child or infant is brought to a hospital with symptoms of sexual abuse... it is prohibited, after an investigation, to return him to his home. It is obligatory for the doctor to inform the courts, and with an order from the court, place the child with a foster parent or agency. There is no problem of informing. This is permitted even if they will place the child, due to no choice, with a family or agency that is secular.
It is permitted for the doctor to inform the authorities even if it is possible that the child will be placed with a family or agency that is not Jewish...
Sexual abuse (of either boys or girls) is no different than physical abuse. There is no difference between boys and girls since one is dealing with a seriously life wounding event and a danger to the public... one certainly must report this matter to the school administration and if nothing is done, even to the police.
I would only add that if nothing is done, the lag time between reporting it to the school and reporting to the police should be of very short duration… perhaps not more than a few days.
Is there anyone that could agree with this? This is the correct perspective for any Torah Jew to have. Our starting point should always be from the perspective of the victim. Their welfare should be our foremost concern. All else is at best secondary.
Friday, January 18, 2008
He Cannot Be the Messiah
The ongoing dispute between the Messianist faction at Chabad and the anti Messianists at the world headquarters in Crown Heights, is now in the hands of New York’s highest appellate court. They will rule whether to allow a judgement against the Messianists to stand, thus clearing the way for their eviction. But what popped out of an article in Ha'aretz about this for me was the following:
The messianist wing, represented by an organization named Congregation Lubavitch, Inc., believes that the former leader of Chabad, Rabbi Menachem Mendel Schneerson, is really the Messiah. The plaintiffs follow the mainstream Jewish position that since Schneerson died in 1994, he cannot be the Messiah.
He cannot be the Messiah. Is this a departure from the past? Have they now finally done the unthinkable? Have they finally declared that their deceased Rebbe CANNOT be Moshiach? This is indeed the mainstream view in the Torah world. I hope that’s true. We will have to wait and see.
Too often a reporter can mis-interpret what he hears. Especially when listening to an anti Meshichist Lubavitcher talking about Meshichists. Perhaps they only said what they have been saying all along, that they are strongly opposed to people saying that the Rebbe will be resurrected as the Messiah.
But that of course is not the same thing as saying he cannot be the Messiah. It is more likely that when they express their vehement opposition to their Messianists, especially in the context of this lawsuit, it is taken by the listener to mean that they are mainstream in their beliefs and disavow this belief in its entirety. But in reality, they do not completely rule it out. Was the word ‘cannot’ actually used?
Somehow I think not. A repudiation of this type would be a major headline in the Torah world. If they are now saying this, I would think they too would make it a world wide event… announcing it in full page ads in the New York Times and in every major Jewish newspaper. Because that would put them back in the fold. They would no longer be shunned or ridiculed by so much of the Torah world.
No one in the Torah world is opposed to what they are doing in any case. It is a step in the right direction. But it is not good enough to just rid their main Shul of the strident Messianists. They indeed must say these 5 words: He cannot be the Messiah. Until that happens, nothing changes.
But there is good news to report in this area. His name is Rabbi Yehoshua Mondshein. I don’t really anything about him outside of a related article in the same issue of Ha'aretz. But I like what I read. He is a Lubavitcher Chasid who:
...is exposing the commonly accepted fictions of the ultra-Orthodox world, including the stories of wonders and miracles disseminated by Chabad Hasidim. It's a major scandal.
Truly a man after my own heart. I’m not sure of his place in Chabad. Although I don't think they use words like 'scandal' to describe their heroes. I don’t know if they disown him or not. But the one thing they can’t do apparently is ignore him or his achievements as a scholar. A website that competes with the one he writes says of him:
"Mondshein is a bit of a heretic, but tremendously knowledgeable"
I’m not exactly sure what they say his heresy is, but based on the way they put it, and how the article describes what he does, it sounds like his heresy is mainly against beliefs associated with the mystical side of Chabad in particular and Chasidus in general. To me that does not make him a heretic. It only makes him a Misnaged... with a long white beard.
The messianist wing, represented by an organization named Congregation Lubavitch, Inc., believes that the former leader of Chabad, Rabbi Menachem Mendel Schneerson, is really the Messiah. The plaintiffs follow the mainstream Jewish position that since Schneerson died in 1994, he cannot be the Messiah.
He cannot be the Messiah. Is this a departure from the past? Have they now finally done the unthinkable? Have they finally declared that their deceased Rebbe CANNOT be Moshiach? This is indeed the mainstream view in the Torah world. I hope that’s true. We will have to wait and see.
Too often a reporter can mis-interpret what he hears. Especially when listening to an anti Meshichist Lubavitcher talking about Meshichists. Perhaps they only said what they have been saying all along, that they are strongly opposed to people saying that the Rebbe will be resurrected as the Messiah.
But that of course is not the same thing as saying he cannot be the Messiah. It is more likely that when they express their vehement opposition to their Messianists, especially in the context of this lawsuit, it is taken by the listener to mean that they are mainstream in their beliefs and disavow this belief in its entirety. But in reality, they do not completely rule it out. Was the word ‘cannot’ actually used?
Somehow I think not. A repudiation of this type would be a major headline in the Torah world. If they are now saying this, I would think they too would make it a world wide event… announcing it in full page ads in the New York Times and in every major Jewish newspaper. Because that would put them back in the fold. They would no longer be shunned or ridiculed by so much of the Torah world.
No one in the Torah world is opposed to what they are doing in any case. It is a step in the right direction. But it is not good enough to just rid their main Shul of the strident Messianists. They indeed must say these 5 words: He cannot be the Messiah. Until that happens, nothing changes.
But there is good news to report in this area. His name is Rabbi Yehoshua Mondshein. I don’t really anything about him outside of a related article in the same issue of Ha'aretz. But I like what I read. He is a Lubavitcher Chasid who:
...is exposing the commonly accepted fictions of the ultra-Orthodox world, including the stories of wonders and miracles disseminated by Chabad Hasidim. It's a major scandal.
Truly a man after my own heart. I’m not sure of his place in Chabad. Although I don't think they use words like 'scandal' to describe their heroes. I don’t know if they disown him or not. But the one thing they can’t do apparently is ignore him or his achievements as a scholar. A website that competes with the one he writes says of him:
"Mondshein is a bit of a heretic, but tremendously knowledgeable"
I’m not exactly sure what they say his heresy is, but based on the way they put it, and how the article describes what he does, it sounds like his heresy is mainly against beliefs associated with the mystical side of Chabad in particular and Chasidus in general. To me that does not make him a heretic. It only makes him a Misnaged... with a long white beard.
Thursday, January 17, 2008
Fighting Back
Many people have accused blogs of being a complete and ineffective waste of time. I can’t tell you the number of times I’ve been accused of that or worse. Obviously I disagree. I have clear and unequivocal evidence where posts that I have written precipitated in some very positive results. And in what possible way can a discussion of the issues that affect Klal Yisroel ever be a bad thing… as long as it is done in a relatively respectful, if passionate manner?
The evidence of even greater impact can be found on other blogs as well. Today, my friends, is one of those days. Dov Bear has a post up today that can change what has become an almost guaranteed Chilul HaShem on those ever more frequent occasions when it happens.
Anyone who has reads this blog on a regular basis knows what is going on in Ramat Bet Shemesh. A group of Chassidic criminals originally from Meah Shearim and its environs now live in Ramat Bet Shemesh B. They now ride roughshod on their newly adopted community in order to force their extreme Tznius standards on the public. They resort to violence. Much of which has caused physical harm to innocent people.
There people are not an ad hoc group. They are organized. They have leaders. They are, in short, a gang… no less then the gangs that roam the streets of inner cities that operate by their own vigilante rules. Thus far they have acted freely and with impunity. But this is about to end.
Informed sources have told me that the police are now heavily involved. A serious investigation is talking place. Heads will hopefully roll.
Their time is about to be up. They are no longer going to be able to operate under the radar. In the meantime there are things we can do. We know their names and Dov Bear has published them. Some of them along with their cellphone numbers. I am pleased to do the same. Here they are:
Moishe Friedman
Cellphone Number 972-57-317-7844
Chaim Luzer Heimlich
Cellphone Number 972-57-319-9218
Shea Rosenberger
(Number not available)
It’s time these people got a taste of their own medicine while we await law enforcement in Israel to do its job. I have been told that it is already happening. Tires have been slashed. I don’t advocate doing this at all, But I can’t help feeling a sense of justice about it.
And as Dov Bear suggests:
E-mail charedi knesset members. Ask them to support the police. Ask them to denounce the thugs. You can start with
MK Moshe Gafni [mgafni@knesset.gov.il]
MK Meir Porush [mporush@knesset.gov.il] and
MK Yaakov Litzman [litzman@knesset.gov.il]
I am told the local Degel Hatora representatives, Moshe Montag and Shmuel Greenberg, are working to HELP the extremists get free land for their yeshiva. When you contact the Charedi MKs tell them to order Montag and Greenberg to stop supporting extremists hooligans.You can also call the men I've named --though please be cordial and polite. Ask questions if you doubt any of the details reported here, and politely ask them to desist.
Could not agree more.
Thank you Dov Bear.
The evidence of even greater impact can be found on other blogs as well. Today, my friends, is one of those days. Dov Bear has a post up today that can change what has become an almost guaranteed Chilul HaShem on those ever more frequent occasions when it happens.
Anyone who has reads this blog on a regular basis knows what is going on in Ramat Bet Shemesh. A group of Chassidic criminals originally from Meah Shearim and its environs now live in Ramat Bet Shemesh B. They now ride roughshod on their newly adopted community in order to force their extreme Tznius standards on the public. They resort to violence. Much of which has caused physical harm to innocent people.
There people are not an ad hoc group. They are organized. They have leaders. They are, in short, a gang… no less then the gangs that roam the streets of inner cities that operate by their own vigilante rules. Thus far they have acted freely and with impunity. But this is about to end.
Informed sources have told me that the police are now heavily involved. A serious investigation is talking place. Heads will hopefully roll.
Their time is about to be up. They are no longer going to be able to operate under the radar. In the meantime there are things we can do. We know their names and Dov Bear has published them. Some of them along with their cellphone numbers. I am pleased to do the same. Here they are:
Moishe Friedman
Cellphone Number 972-57-317-7844
Chaim Luzer Heimlich
Cellphone Number 972-57-319-9218
Shea Rosenberger
(Number not available)
It’s time these people got a taste of their own medicine while we await law enforcement in Israel to do its job. I have been told that it is already happening. Tires have been slashed. I don’t advocate doing this at all, But I can’t help feeling a sense of justice about it.
And as Dov Bear suggests:
E-mail charedi knesset members. Ask them to support the police. Ask them to denounce the thugs. You can start with
MK Moshe Gafni [mgafni@knesset.gov.il]
MK Meir Porush [mporush@knesset.gov.il] and
MK Yaakov Litzman [litzman@knesset.gov.il]
I am told the local Degel Hatora representatives, Moshe Montag and Shmuel Greenberg, are working to HELP the extremists get free land for their yeshiva. When you contact the Charedi MKs tell them to order Montag and Greenberg to stop supporting extremists hooligans.You can also call the men I've named --though please be cordial and polite. Ask questions if you doubt any of the details reported here, and politely ask them to desist.
Could not agree more.
Thank you Dov Bear.
A Political Glitch
I have said many times that I am proud to be an Amercian. I have given glowing praise to this great 'experiment' in representative democracy called the United States of America. I am not going to go into details again now. Suffice it to say that my feelings for what this country has done for the Jewish people and what that means me is profound.
And that’s why I find this so troubling. Cross Currents has posted an article about the upcoming Nevada Democrat and Republican Caucus. And the only way for anyone to participate in this caucus is to violate Shabbos. That’s because Shabbos is when it is being held.
I frankly don’t get it. I realize that the vast majority of Jews don’t care either about political cauduses. Nor to they care about Chilul Shabbos. But there are a few …and their rights to exercise their basic democratic right to choose who will lead their country is being denied.
As the article states:
Two elements of Nevada’s political parties’ decision to hold the caucus on Shabbat that make it especially disturbing: the fact that it is entirely avoidable (the caucuses could have easily been held on a weeknight or even after Shabbat ended), and the fact that it categorically excludes an entire group of people based on their religious identity…
Why would the poltical parties in Nevada do something like this? I know Saturday is a convenient day for most people, but don’t they realize this problem by now? Were they born yesterday? Are they so indifferent to Religious Jews? Are we second class citizens?
Where has the vaunted ACLU been? Why hasn’t this been challenged constitutionally? Why haven’t any of the candidates noticed it? …or if they have, not spoken out about it?
I don’t think there is any anti-Semitism involved here. Just insensitivity. And it is insensitivity to one of the most productive and loyal constituencies in America!
I just don’t get it!
As the people at cross current say:
The Rev. Dr. C. Welton Gaddy, president of the Interfaith Alliance, says it best: “In a country that values religious liberty, no person should ever be forced to choose between practicing their religion and participating in their democracy. America is the most religiously diverse nation in the world, and the political process should be open to all on equal terms.”
I really don’t get it!
And that’s why I find this so troubling. Cross Currents has posted an article about the upcoming Nevada Democrat and Republican Caucus. And the only way for anyone to participate in this caucus is to violate Shabbos. That’s because Shabbos is when it is being held.
I frankly don’t get it. I realize that the vast majority of Jews don’t care either about political cauduses. Nor to they care about Chilul Shabbos. But there are a few …and their rights to exercise their basic democratic right to choose who will lead their country is being denied.
As the article states:
Two elements of Nevada’s political parties’ decision to hold the caucus on Shabbat that make it especially disturbing: the fact that it is entirely avoidable (the caucuses could have easily been held on a weeknight or even after Shabbat ended), and the fact that it categorically excludes an entire group of people based on their religious identity…
Why would the poltical parties in Nevada do something like this? I know Saturday is a convenient day for most people, but don’t they realize this problem by now? Were they born yesterday? Are they so indifferent to Religious Jews? Are we second class citizens?
Where has the vaunted ACLU been? Why hasn’t this been challenged constitutionally? Why haven’t any of the candidates noticed it? …or if they have, not spoken out about it?
I don’t think there is any anti-Semitism involved here. Just insensitivity. And it is insensitivity to one of the most productive and loyal constituencies in America!
I just don’t get it!
As the people at cross current say:
The Rev. Dr. C. Welton Gaddy, president of the Interfaith Alliance, says it best: “In a country that values religious liberty, no person should ever be forced to choose between practicing their religion and participating in their democracy. America is the most religiously diverse nation in the world, and the political process should be open to all on equal terms.”
I really don’t get it!
Wednesday, January 16, 2008
The Monsters Among Us
I have been very critical of the blogger Un-Orthodox Jew (UOJ) in the past. And with good reason. My criticism is in the way he operates. He maintains anonymity but identifies himself as an Orthodox Rabbi. As such he should not be using the kind of language he does. I understand his emotion. One can perhaps forgive someone for using such language about situations that UOJ focuses on. But as an Orthodox rabbi he should speak in a manner more befitting of his title as a preacher and teacher in Israel. I therefore strongly object to it.
More troubling is his attitude towards various rabbinic leaders. Frankly it is beyond disgusting. It is unacceptable, no matter how he feels about their culpability in these matters. It debases him and in my view detracts tremendously from his message, which is an extremely important one.
That said - I have always made sure to give credit where credit is due. And UOJ deserves a lot of credit. I doubt that there is another blogger that has accomplished as much for abuse victims as he has. My hat is off to him for that.
UOJ has not been that kind with me. He has in fact attacked me several times on his blog. But that’s OK. I am not looking for his approval. It is not my purpose to be loved by him or anyone else. My purpose is to bring up important issues of the day and provide a venue for discussing them. And of course one of the most important of those issues is child sexual abuse.
I’ve written about this before. Many times. This issue has not gone away. It not only continues to fester, it seems to be growing. It contributes to one of the biggest problems in our day - that of children who go ‘Off the Derech’ …young people that drop out of observance.
There are of course many and varied reasons why this happens. But the most serious cases of dropouts involve children that were sexually abused. It is probably the number one risk factor. And the effects of abuse can last a lifetime causing tremendous and sometimes irreversible damage to marriages. And that’s not all. An individual heavily involved in these kinds of issues writes:
A close friend of mine runs a shelter/group home for charedi runaway kids. I recently ran into him at a wedding and asked him what his thoughts were on the correlation between abuse and the off-the-derech phenomenon. His immediate response was, “Yankie, all I deal with is abuse [victims],” meaning that virtually all the teens in his program were molested.
Most frightening from a communal perspective is that it is difficult if not impossible to cure a serial molester, even one who goes, or is forced to go, for help. Furthermore, untreated abuse victims are far more likely to abuse others then are people in the general population. So what we have is analogous to the Midrashic frog in Egypt (Shmos 8:2; Rashi) that multiplied each time it was struck. Similarly, a molester typically harms dozens or even hundreds of kids – each in turn a prime candidate to molest others; on and on.
How bad is it? Very, very bad. To paraphrase Rudy Giuliani’s famous quote in his 9/11 press conference, the number of abuse victims in our community is more than any of us can bear. I do not keep records of people who call me, or speak to me in public settings, but I would estimate that in the past year months alone between fifty and one hundred abuse victims and/or their parents contacted me. It has gotten so bad that when parents who do not suspect any form of abuse call me to discuss their at-risk children, the very first thing I listen for are the classic red-flags for abuse/molestation.
Those words were written by an authentic hero. He is a man who will not stand safely silent on the side-lines. Instead he risks his reputation and career by speaking out on issues that others won’t touch with a ten foot pole… or if they do - they treat far too gingerly. That man is Rabbi Yakov Horowitz. He is not afraid of telling it like it is. And he did so recently in a Mishpacha Magazine column which is now available in its entirety at his website.
I’m afraid we are seeing only the tip of the iceberg. Who knows how many children have been abused and have not told anyone?! …or have told a parent who has kept it quiet - depriving their own children of possibly life saving therapy! Why? For fear of how it will affect Shiduch prospects for their older children or future Shidach prospects for the victims themselves.
How many victims have remained silent and locked in the ‘closet’? ...who, without the benefit of therapy are descending rapidly into a lifetime of clinical depression or worse - suicide! All for fear by their parents of word getting out.
And that brings me back to UOJ. He is screaming at the top of his lungs. I might not like his tactics but I can’t argue with his results. And that is one thing we need a lot more of. Results.
I will end with the same words Rabbi Horowitz does as he describes what I think motivated this column:
In short, I keep seeing the horrific carnage that the monster of abuse is causing among our children. We have the capacity to banish it to the other side of the door. All we need is courage and conviction. L’maan Hashem, let’s finally do it.
More troubling is his attitude towards various rabbinic leaders. Frankly it is beyond disgusting. It is unacceptable, no matter how he feels about their culpability in these matters. It debases him and in my view detracts tremendously from his message, which is an extremely important one.
That said - I have always made sure to give credit where credit is due. And UOJ deserves a lot of credit. I doubt that there is another blogger that has accomplished as much for abuse victims as he has. My hat is off to him for that.
UOJ has not been that kind with me. He has in fact attacked me several times on his blog. But that’s OK. I am not looking for his approval. It is not my purpose to be loved by him or anyone else. My purpose is to bring up important issues of the day and provide a venue for discussing them. And of course one of the most important of those issues is child sexual abuse.
I’ve written about this before. Many times. This issue has not gone away. It not only continues to fester, it seems to be growing. It contributes to one of the biggest problems in our day - that of children who go ‘Off the Derech’ …young people that drop out of observance.
There are of course many and varied reasons why this happens. But the most serious cases of dropouts involve children that were sexually abused. It is probably the number one risk factor. And the effects of abuse can last a lifetime causing tremendous and sometimes irreversible damage to marriages. And that’s not all. An individual heavily involved in these kinds of issues writes:
A close friend of mine runs a shelter/group home for charedi runaway kids. I recently ran into him at a wedding and asked him what his thoughts were on the correlation between abuse and the off-the-derech phenomenon. His immediate response was, “Yankie, all I deal with is abuse [victims],” meaning that virtually all the teens in his program were molested.
Most frightening from a communal perspective is that it is difficult if not impossible to cure a serial molester, even one who goes, or is forced to go, for help. Furthermore, untreated abuse victims are far more likely to abuse others then are people in the general population. So what we have is analogous to the Midrashic frog in Egypt (Shmos 8:2; Rashi) that multiplied each time it was struck. Similarly, a molester typically harms dozens or even hundreds of kids – each in turn a prime candidate to molest others; on and on.
How bad is it? Very, very bad. To paraphrase Rudy Giuliani’s famous quote in his 9/11 press conference, the number of abuse victims in our community is more than any of us can bear. I do not keep records of people who call me, or speak to me in public settings, but I would estimate that in the past year months alone between fifty and one hundred abuse victims and/or their parents contacted me. It has gotten so bad that when parents who do not suspect any form of abuse call me to discuss their at-risk children, the very first thing I listen for are the classic red-flags for abuse/molestation.
Those words were written by an authentic hero. He is a man who will not stand safely silent on the side-lines. Instead he risks his reputation and career by speaking out on issues that others won’t touch with a ten foot pole… or if they do - they treat far too gingerly. That man is Rabbi Yakov Horowitz. He is not afraid of telling it like it is. And he did so recently in a Mishpacha Magazine column which is now available in its entirety at his website.
I’m afraid we are seeing only the tip of the iceberg. Who knows how many children have been abused and have not told anyone?! …or have told a parent who has kept it quiet - depriving their own children of possibly life saving therapy! Why? For fear of how it will affect Shiduch prospects for their older children or future Shidach prospects for the victims themselves.
How many victims have remained silent and locked in the ‘closet’? ...who, without the benefit of therapy are descending rapidly into a lifetime of clinical depression or worse - suicide! All for fear by their parents of word getting out.
And that brings me back to UOJ. He is screaming at the top of his lungs. I might not like his tactics but I can’t argue with his results. And that is one thing we need a lot more of. Results.
I will end with the same words Rabbi Horowitz does as he describes what I think motivated this column:
In short, I keep seeing the horrific carnage that the monster of abuse is causing among our children. We have the capacity to banish it to the other side of the door. All we need is courage and conviction. L’maan Hashem, let’s finally do it.
Tuesday, January 15, 2008
The Supremes
Those lines from a popular sixties song might just have been the message of Justices in the Israeli Supreme Court... to those who would try and deny others form pursuing their rights in a free and democratic society.
The Mehadrin Bus controversy has hit the court system.. Yesterday the Israeli high court heard a petition by five women including Orthodox Novelist Naomi Ragen against unregulated public segregation between the sexes on Israeli bus lines.
For those who don’t recall, this legal action was undertaken as a result of several incidences of violence against women by certain extremist individuals for violating their Tznius codes. Their crime? Sitting in the front male sections instead of the rear female section of a Mehadrin bus... and in one case a non Mehadrin bus that had informally adopted Mehadrin standards. A group of feminists - one of whom is the aforementioned Naomi Ragen - decided it was time to end this policy of sex discrimination altogether.
But they must have really been surprised by the reaction of the Justices:
"It is reasonable to provide bus lines for the haredi community," said Justice Elyakim Rubinstein during the hearing.
But he also said:
“However, one cannot impose separation and demands for modesty on those who oppose it.”
He did not however abandon Charedi desires either:
“Solutions must be found. For example, by having the bus driver protect passengers so that when one passenger disturbs another, the driver will order him off the bus. Another idea is to display a sign informing riders that the line is segregated.”
Justice Yoram Danziger pointed out: "a voluntary arrangement which harms dozens or hundreds of women is impossible."
This is clearly the correct approach to the problem. One must have sensitivity for all concerned. In a democratic society people should have the right to practice their religion freely, as well as the right to interpret their religion in ways they see fit. And also as well, people should have the right to not observe Halacha at all.
Of course it would be nice if everyone could see the beauty of the Torah and observe Halacha. That is after all what God intended for his people in the
There are better ways to achieve the goal of universal Mitzvah observance than through force and intimidation. And since we do not have a Halachic government in place today we at least have the next best thing: A democracy. This court is truly expressing democratic ideals in how it is handling the Mehadrin bus line controversy. Respecting the rights of the minority as well as the rights of the majority
The Supreme court should not be vilified as anti Charedi or anti religious. That is unfortunately how most of the Charedi world looks at them. They have been vilified and have had mass protests when the court ruled against their interests in the past.
But look at what they do now. They are trying to accommodate everyone. I’m not sure if they will succeed. But I’m glad to see they are trying. I think the next time Charedim want to vilify the secular courts in
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