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| Agudath Israel Board Chairman,Shlomo Werdiger |
In our day another group of people has begun using that
term to describe themselves: victims of sexual abuse. They prefer to be called
survivors. I am not in a position to comment on whether the use of
that term is appropriate in light of its more common usage for Holocaust survivors.
But one thing has become abundantly clear to me. The trauma survivors of sex
abuse have experienced is horrific in its own
right.
There is an interesting parallel between the two that might
help to better understand the severity of the trauma in each case. Many survivors
of the Holocaust lost their faith. The same is true of survivors of sex abuse. Many
survivors of both groups that were observant before their trauma - ended up
becoming non observant after it.
I do not believe that anything can compare to what
most survivors of the Holocaust went through. Bur survivors of sex abuse have nonetheless gone
through their own hell - and in all too many cases continue to go through well after their abuse. Many of them have contemplated
suicide as the only way out! Calling themselves survivors drives home that
point.
Which brings me to an article in Mishpacha Magazine a few weeks
ago by Shlomo Werdiger, chairman of the board of directors of Agudath Israel of
America. He wrote about Mendy Klein who passed away suddenly a few months ago. Mendy helped set up Amudim, an organization
that deals with the Jews suffering from a variety of problems. Among them, drug
and alcohol addiction, and sex abuse. The one thing that stuck out for me is
the fact that of the 400 suicides and accidental overdoses reported to Amudim,
80% were victims of child sexual abuse. 80%!
That is a shocking number. But it was gratifying to see this
acknowledged in a major Charedi publication. Even though summertime is mostly over and the school year has begun, it was also gratifying to see Mr.
Werdiger note that summertime is a veritable
minefield for those kids slipping through the cracks and that these kids were
more likely to be hurt at that time of year. He credited Mendy for what
he calls ‘the impossible’ to happen: getting the Orthodox Jewish community to recognize
that abuse and addictions need to be acknowledged and remedied.
Most of us already realize that we have this kind of
problem (although I doubt most of us know the actual extent of it). That the chairman
of the board of Agudah now recognizes it and uses some of the same strong
language used by survivors and survivor
advocates is a huge step in the right direction. A step that has resulted in an
institution like Amudim.
And yet there is still one glaring omission. In a sidebar box in that article there is some excellent advice on teaching children summer safety with
respect to potential abuse. What is not so excellent is
the omission of making sure accusations of abuse are reported directly to the
police. Nowhere is that mentioned. Interestingly, neither is Agudah's requirement to first report accusations of abuse to rabbis. The entire subject
is ignored. It’s almost as if he knows what doing the right things is and
refuses to mention the Agudah policy on it.
It is a troubling omission that I believe may have had as its goal to not
undermine Agudah’s policy on reporting sex abuse. Their Daas Torah has spoken. That
others may disagree doesn’t matter.
I wonder though if in his heart of hearts, Mr. Werdiger actually believes that rabbis
must be told about abuse first and get permission from them before reporting it to the police. His
lack of saying anything about it either way - makes me wonder…