Is Mishpacha Magazine Promoting Heresy?

Rabbi Aryeh Kaplan (Mishpacha)

Theoretical physicists tell us that the Big Bang  occurred about 15 billion years ago.  For those who don’t understand the term, I am not talking about a recent TV sitcom by the same name. I am talking about the actual– the ‘Yesh MeAyin’ moment -  the Big Bang theory about the creation of the universe.

Those of us that have studied both Torah and science do not need to say that the two fields contradict each other. On the contrary. We can believe in the Torah and accept the science – even in its theoretical form. There is no need to deny the evidence shown by science that seems to contradict the Torah. The fact is that the two can be reconciled.  

That the universe is as old as theoretical physicists say it is is something in which I believe. Because that is what makes the most rational sense to me. Does that make me an Apikores – a non believing heretic?  This was the issue many years ago that destroyed the reputation of Rabbi Natan Slifkin among his then peers in the Charedi world.

In brief - his books reconciling Torah with science were banned by the then acknowledged rabbinic leader of Lithuanian Jewry, R’ Sholom Yosef Elyahshiv. When the contents of Rabbi Slifkin’s books containing his reconciliations of science and Torah were described to him by English speaking Charedi activists he banned them. To say that the world was any older than the about 6000 years it was traditionally believed to be was considered by him to be Apikursus - heresy.

This threw the world of Charedim into turmoil.  Until the ban – Rabbi Slifkin’s books were considered acceptable. As were other books of the same genre. They were used even by Charedim in outreach  to Jewish college students.

Even tough Rabbi Slfkin’s books had received approbations by a number of Charedi rabbinic leaders prior to that ban, R’ Elyashiv’s declaration was considered ‘Daas Torah-  the final word on the subject. . Among those that had given his books approbation was Agudah Moetzes member, R’ Aharon Feldman. He was at first incredulous about R’ Elyashiv’s ban to the point of flying to Israel to get it directly from R’ Elyashiv. Which he did. He withdrew his approbation and explained with what amounted to ‘Daas Torah’ had spoken’.

I mention all this in light or Eytan Kobre’s wondeful article in Mishpacha Magazine about Rabbi Aryeh Kaplan. He was basically described as a pivotal influence in the Jewish world whose brilliance along with his credentials in both science and Torah were impeccable. That resulted in a treasure trove of books dealing with all aspects of Judaism. Works that appealed to a wide variety of readers from all segments of Orthodox Judaism. 

His ability to reconcile Torah with science was uncanny. But an important lecture he gave on the subject to the Association of Orthodox Jewish Scientists back in the 70s was ommitted. Therein he used proofs from numerous sources that included the Torah, Shas, Rishonim, Achronim, and Kabalah to prove that the universe is actually as old as theoretical scientists say it is – about 15 billion years old. He even ridiculed those that thought it was actually only 6000 years old! I’m not going to go into the details of his explanation. Suffice it to say that all of the sources he quoted are considered legitimate even according to the most hardcore Charedim.

I don’t know if Eytan Kobre is aware of that lecture.  If not, that might explain his unabashed exuberance about Rabbi Kaplan. 

My hope though is that he was aware, and purposely left it out because of the controversy, That tells me something both good and bad.

The good news is that by writing about Rabbi Kaplan in such glorious tones  Eyan is essentially  saying  that – unlike R’ Feldman - he sees a 15 billion year old universe as a perfectly acceptable Jewish belief.

The bad news is that he probably omitted it for fear the controversy it would generate among  Mishpacha’s Charedi readership. (Or maybe it was his editors at Mishpacha who made that decision.) Which does a disservice to Emes.

That this fact about Rabbi Kaplan was hidden is a problem. But extolling the virtues of a man that clearly believed in an ancient universe is a step in the right direction. 

The Role of Rabbinic Authority in Sexual Abuse

Some members of the Agudah Moetzes (Agudah)

I am going to depart from my usual practice of not publishing the words of others instead of my own about things that matter. I received a message (sent to me by someone on his mailing list) from Rabbi Ron Yiztzchok Eisenman that is impossible to restate in my own words. The reasons for which will become evident to the reader. 

In his weekly 'Short Vort' Rabbi Eisenman published a very lengthy letter from  a woman named Rena, a devout Chasidic woman from Bnei Brak who is now married and lives in Monsey, New York. Rena was continually raped by Chaim Walder during her 'therapy' sessions - beginning when she was about 12 years old.

She wrote the letter in her native tongue -  Hebrew. It was translated into English by Rabbi Eisenman in conjunction with Rena and an unidentified Chasidic Rebbe who was not only sympathetic to her plight, but insisted that her letter be widely circulated. His attitude was generated by the fact that one of his own granddaughters had experienced sexual abuse and as a result is no longer religious. She is now living with a non Jewish man.

Although it is written to all of us, much of her message is directed to the world of Charedi rabbinic authority.  It is imperative that all who are adherents of this concept – often expressed as Daas Torah - read her letter. Especially the rabbinic leaders themselves. Please take the time to read this important statement. Please do not let its length scare you off. And please help disseminate it to others, starting with your own Rav. Her letter follows: 

When Weeping is Not Enough

by Rena Salomon 

Dear Rabbi Eisenman,

               My name is Rena Salomon, and I am a victim of cw.

I say this is in the present tense because even though he is dead (may the name of the wicked rot), he still terrorizes and victimizes me.

I have never been to Passaic, New Jersey, and I am sure we don't travel in the same circles.

Why am I writing to you?

I could pander to you and tell you that I am writing because "you get it."

However, that would be a lie.

You may want to get it and try to get it, but you can't, and you will never "get it."

My great grand-parents both did a stint in Hell on Earth. The world knows it as Auschwitz.

They passed away when I was a child.

My grandmother told me that her parents never spoke about being incarcerated in Hell.

The first time she asked her mother about the strange numbers on her forearm, her mother cried, pulled down her sleeve to the wrist, and through her tears said only, "mein baliebte tochter, vet keinmal nisht farshteyn" (my beloved daughter, you will never understand).

Much later, my grandmother understood why her mother never spoke about it.

Survivors such as my great-grandmother were embarrassed to speak about Auschwitz for the first few years.

They always felt as if the listener blamed them for being in Auschwitz or never fully believed what they endured and how painful and life-changing it was.

Later in life, when the street narrative changed and holocaust survivors became heroic people who you should seek out for Brochus, my great-grandmother still chose to remain silent.

When asked by her daughter, who by then was herself a grandmother, "Why, Mama, do you still remain silent?" My great-grandmother answered with a wave of her hand, "ich darf nisht kein rachmonus" (I don't need anyone's pity).

So too, Rabbi Eisenman, there are still many people who blame me for being molested.

They ask me (or I can tell that they at least want to ask me) the same question as they questioned (or wanted to question) my great-grandmother, "Why didn't you fight back?"

Certainly, those people don't get it as they persist in their belief that most victims are either lying, exaggerating or loshon hora mongers who have thinly-veiled agendas to destroy Orthodox Jewry.

Thankfully, as time has gone on and more people have come forward, and the realization is beginning to take hold that sexual abuse occurs, the reaction of some people towards the victims has changed.

Just as people began to change in their reaction to Holocaust survivors, people are also changing in their response to abuse survivors.

The reaction varies from disbelief at worst to pity and compassion at best.

As much as compassion is better than feeling repulsed, rejected, tainted, and not believed, I say to you Rabbi Eisenman as my alter-bubbe told my grandmother, "ich darf nisht kein rachmonus."

I, and survivors like me, are not interested in being looked at as pitiful, stained misfits who now deserve your "deepest sympathies."

Rather, we need people to believe us and in us.

And we need people to treat us as true survivors who have withstood the horrors of abuse and molestation and are still functioning human beings.

You want to commiserate and validate my pain. However, you have never done a stint in Hell on Earth on the folding cot in cw's warehouse while being raped between stacks and stacks of books whose themes were helping, protecting, and empowering children.

You have never lived a day in Hell where the daily schedule consisted of being violated and humiliated by the man (whose horrid breath I smell every day of my life) who was regarded by hundreds of thousands of admirers- as the ultimate protector of children.

I appreciate your compassion, but never think Rabbi Eisenman (or any other rabbi) that you "really get it."

 Unless you too were incarcerated, battered, humiliated, and wounded for life by the recipient of the 2003 Magen LeYeled (Defender of the Child) award from the Israel National Council for the Child- you don't get it.

Would you ever tell someone who was in Auschwitz, "Yes, yes, I understand your pain? I, too, went through hard times."

That statement would be laughable cruel, and insensitive.

Just as you can never understand imprisonment at Auschwitz, you can never understand being a caged twelve-year-old girl enslaved and subjugated by an evil, pernicious pedophile.

This pedophile is the embodiment of brutality and heartlessness.

For me and hundreds of others, he was the most demonic creature to walk the face of this Earth.

Therefore, you can never fully understand as sympathetic as you are, although I appreciate your sincere desire to understand.

There is something; I, too, will never understand.

I will never understand how any sane individual, much less a rabbi, could allow cw's books to remain part of a home or school library.

If your grandmother was medically experimented on by Josef Mengele Yimach Shemo, would you ever think to allow his medical books in a Jewish home?

I and dozens if not hundreds were sexually experimented on by cw Yimcah Shemo.

The debate surrounding the retention of his books speaks volumes of the insensitivity of our Tzibbur to sexual molestation.

Yet, my optimistic, hopeful self tells me to write with the hope that words that emanate from the heart will enter the heart of my readers.

After encouragement from my own Rav and therapist, I have decided to put into words my story.

Why now?

There has been much discussion and analysis in the Jewish world regarding the cw debacle.

I have read and heard it all.

Everything I have read and heard has been from people commenting on the events from the outside.

I have been obsessed with the demise of this putrid, fetid monster ever since he did the greatest favor to the Jewish people (if only he had done so decades ago) by bringing to an end to his thirty-year reign of terror. Which I must add, was known about by much more people than you can ever imagine.

How embarrassing it is and how ironic it is for our Tzibbur that a left-wing anti-religious newspaper was the savior, hero, and true defender of Chareidi Jewry, as it was their exposé that finally stopped the monster.

I'll leave the message Hashem wants us to take from this to the rabbis.

Since, as mentioned, everything printed or posted has been from outsiders, namely, people who were never abused and certainly not by cw, I have decided to take my rightful place on the platform.

Why should only those with outside knowledge comment, analyze, critique, and in some cases even justify cw?

Should I not have a place at the table?

After all, I spent more nights than I care to admit in the company of the embodiment of Satan himself.

Who else has the right to be heard if not me?

Before I write about my feelings about how we should react, I want to tell you about myself to understand where I am coming from.

I am the youngest of a large Hareidi family in Bnei Brak.

When I was twelve years old, I began to act out in school.

My parents took me to the Center for the Child and Family in Bnei Brak to be evaluated.

A week after the evaluation, a phone call informed us that I had an appointment with a therapist for that Wednesday.

When I arrived, I was told to wait in an office for the therapist.

To my amazement and the joy of my family, cw himself entered the room, introduced himself, and said he was going to be my therapist.

I silently thanked Hashem for my good fortune of having the privilege of cw himself being my therapist.

At first, he encouraged me to talk about myself and my family.

Sometimes the questions he asked about the relationships between family members were strange to me. However, I was sure that cw knew what he was doing; after all, he was cw.

Soon his questions focused on me and my personal life.

He asked me questions that I could not believe a man - much less a rabbi, much less a person such as cw who our family and almost every family we knew listened to him on the radio every week- would ask.

He asked me if I had reached menarche.

I was shocked and embarrassed by this question.

I was going to tell my mother. However, I was too ashamed to say anything; after all, my mother was thrilled that cw had picked me to "treat."

Soon he began to touch me. My body froze in horror when his maniacal hands touched my body.

I was a twelve-year-old Hareidi girl brought up with "Kol kevuda bas Melech penima"- "The royal daughter is all glorious within the palace." Meaning I should be quiet and obedient to my elders and not assert myself. 

I was taught to be submissive, especially to rabbis and cw was a great rabbi.

"Hisbatlus"- to subordinate yourself to rabbinic will was the creed and doctrine of my upbringing.

The touching continued, and cw became progressively more aggressive.

I told my best friend that I see cw every week.

As can be predicted, soon, every girl in the class knew that I met one on one with cw every week.

Girls would ask, "Does he give you free books? He must be so kind and understanding."

Do you know what it is at twelve years old to have every girl in your class know that you know cw and be reminded of this daily?

Can you imagine what it feels like to be raped at ten in the morning and then return to school, and all the girls crowd around to ask, "How did it go?"

Do you know what pain and anguish it is to return to class after being assaulted by this monster only to discover that the Morah is reading aloud from Yeladim Mesaprim (Kid's Speak) as a reward for good behavior?

Why didn't I tell my mother?

You must be joking.

My mother proudly asks, "How was it seeing cw today?"

Do I tell my mother, "That's exactly the problem, I am seeing too much of cw"!

Can I tell my mother he did things that I have no facility to understand and process?

Do I tell my mother I need to see a therapist to speak to as the therapist's therapist two hours ago assaulted me and left me to cry myself to sleep alone as I wonder if what happened in that warehouse made me pregnant?

Can you understand the loneliness, isolation, sense of abandonment, alienation, and desolation that a twelve-year-old girl from Bnei Brak feels as she cries herself to sleep nightly and quite often still does?

As a girl from Bnei Brak, I knew that we call out to Hashem in times of pain, and He will take away the pain.

Whenever his horrific hands touched my body, I cried and cried to Hashem to take away the pain.

Yet, as I once heard my great-grandmother utter in a rare moment of complete candor, "Hashem forgot about us in Auschwitz."

So too, Hashem forgot about me in that warehouse in Bnei Brak, where a cot is sandwiched between the stacks of "inspirational books empowering children."

I quickly dispelled that heretical thought from my mind and settled on a more acceptable explanation: "I am bad, and I am stained, and people like me are not worthy of Hashem's kindness."

I appreciate your concern and validation; however, recognize the reality that your validation and empathy are limited to your life's experience, and you were never a twelve-year girl being raped weekly by cw.

I knew it was wrong.

I knew a girl my age was not allowed to be alone with another man in a warehouse.

But, a great rabbi was doing this, a person who I was taught to obey as he can do no wrong.

It was drilled into me since I could walk that "we obediently listen to the rabbis' without questioning.

I knew from school, from home, from the streets of Bnei Brak, that we obediently listen to the rabbis' without questioning.

The great rabbis, and only they, possess this secret, mysterious, nebulous, amorphous power called Daas Torah.

I was raised with the dogmatic belief that women cannot decide important life-changing issues.

Important issues are decided by those who have Daas Torah.

If not considered the actual depository of Daas Torah, cw certainly had the backing and stamp of approval of Daas Torah.

At the beginning of his books, there are glowing approbations and letters of validation from those who possess Daas Torah.

Therefore, when cw told me we were taking a little trip to his warehouse, I obeyed; after all, obedience to those who represent DaasTorah is paramount.

Nobody ever told me that "all the glitters is not gold?"

Not once in all my years of education did a Morah, Menhales, Mechaneches, or anyone else in school inform me that Rabbis can be bad and do very bad things to little girls.

We received no warnings of what to do if a man touches you.

No one ever said, "If a man ever touches you in a way that makes you feel uncomfortable, no matter who he is, even a great rabbi, run away as fast as you can."

Not once did any educator tells us that all people can be bad.

We were taught rabbis are good, and greater rabbis are perfect.

What was drilled into us was obedience without question to rabbinic authority.

So I lived in two worlds. At school, I was a Bais Yaakov Maidel, saying Tehillim and acting like any other girl. Yet, when cw had me, I became a sex slave, a Zonah, a harlot, a tramp, and a concubine to Satan himself.

Take a breath, Rabbi Eisenman. I know it's painful to hear. But, I need to vent and pour out my pain.

I would imagine that it's not often that a woman who has a family of her own, a woman who no man besides her husband has ever seen one lock of her hair, talks like this.

However, the same little girl who learned to compartmentalize life at age twelve and live simultaneously in two worlds is now a grown woman who still lives a double life.

When I see my husband put on his Shtreimel Friday afternoons and he walks with our boys to Shul, I am filled with gratitude to Hashem for a wonderful, understanding husband and beautiful children.

Yet, when I go light Shabbos candles and must face Hashem alone, my thoughts wander back to that warehouse of books in Bnei Brak.

I tremble as I light the match, and I begin to shudder and convulse.

Every week for years and years, the same scenario repeats itself.

I am ashamed and feel stained and sullied and most of all unworthy to light the Shabbos candles, which bring light when so much of my life was a black hole of darkness.

You have no idea of what I (and many other survivors) experience when we are expected to enter the purifying water of the mikveh.

The destruction this satanic figure wrought in his thirty-year reign of terror will never be quantified or properly understood.

I know Rabbi Eisenman; you don't have to defend or answer for anyone.

I write these words not expecting you to answer, but rather as a crucial and essential cathartic exercise which I pray will help me one day achieve a true catharsis and relief for my troubled soul.

I ask Mechilla in advance for any words that may seem disrespectful or disparaging.

However, my goal is not to foster Machlokes; my goal is for all of us to come to a greater mutual understanding of the pervasive yet, currently silenced and swept-under-the-rug-problem of sexual molestation in our camp.

My goal is to be honest, raw, and real.

If I cannot reveal my true feelings, am I not still in the confining clutches of cw? Who inhibited and squelched me from speaking for so long.

Can you deny a survivor her right to have her say after years of communal confinement?

Is "our Tzibbur" so fragile that honest, heartfelt questions cannot be put forth?

I pray that is not the case.

Rabbi Lopiansky writes, concerning sexual abuse, " if you prefer truth over enjoying life, you will discover a Gehinnom that exists here in our world."

I know the truth, and I saw a Gehinom that exists in this world.

 I "discovered" it lying on a cot between the aisles of a dust-filled warehouse as a man I had once idolized forced me to live in Hell.

I discovered Gehinom in a hotel room in Ramat Gan as I was painfully violated and sentenced to live a Hellish existence until the day I die.

Rabbi Lopiansky, you are correct in referring to it as Gehinom. I prefer the English word Hell as it conveys the filth and nightmarishness of the experience. When we use Hebrew words, too often we sanitize and euphemize what should be explicit and clear.

As a Bais Yaakov graduate and a victim of cw, I feel qualified to comment on how the "outside" world interpreted and explained (away) the infamous and vile debacle of cw.

For the first time in my life, you allow my voice to be heard.

You are allowing me, in my own words, to tell my story.

I am tired of hearing my story told by others, especially those who never experienced Hell on Earth.

I am tired of being told how I should feel, and I am tired of keeping my innermost pain buried deep in my Neshama.

I have a right to speak.

I have a right to have my voice heard.

I recently read an article by Rabbi Aaron Lopiansky titled, "For This, We Weep."

(It was originally featured in Mishpacha, Issue 893; January 4, 2022)

Rabbi Lopiansky, who I have heard is a very gentle and understanding person, presented a hypothesis to explain the almost pandemic problem of sexual abuse within the Chareidi world.

Rabbi Lopiansky never mentions cw or any other known abuser by name, although he alludes to them.

Rabbi Lopiansky is a man of integrity, and I am sure (as he says) he would encourage me to write the following piece.

He states the critical importance of hearing from survivors.

Here are his own l words:

A few years ago, I was involved in the publication of an issue of Dialogue on the topic of molestation and abuse. Included were lengthy interviews with professionals in the field and other related articles.

One article was written by a survivor.

It is a person known to me whose every word is to be believed, someone who leads an extremely honorable and chashuve life.

After the person opened up to me, I was shocked. He seemed to live such a fine and happy life. And only then did I discover what kind of Gehinnom he lived in.

Decades after the events, he still lives with the trauma and has occasional suicidal thoughts.

To quote an adam gadol who read the article, "It has changed my understanding of what abuse and trauma are all about. I've turned from an agnostic to a fervent believer."

 

If I can change people's understanding of what abuse and trauma are all about. And convince one more agnostic to (become) a fervent believer- I will be satisfied.

Rabbi Lopiansky deals with why abuse is so prevalent in our community- or as he calls us, "our Tzibbur"?

Rabbi Lopiansky contends, "there is another reason why our tzibbur keeps falling into this situation time and again, and that is the "halo" effect.

We have the misguided notion that "if it glitters it is gold," all the way through. We feel that if a person is doing good in one area, he is perfect in every area.

 In order to move forward, we need to first rid ourselves of a fatal flaw.

The most fallacious statement in our misguided thinking is, "someone who does good, cannot possibly be bad in any way."

 This is flat-out wrong"

I, of course, know first hand that the above point is true.

However, with complete deference to Rabbi Lopiansky, I must ask, where does he think we came up with (as he calls it) the "misguided notion that … if a person is doing good in one area, he is perfect in every area."?

Rabbi Lopianky, forgive me, but I must ask, "Who implanted in "our Tzibbur" this "fatal flaw" in our "misguided thinking?"

Why does "our Tzibbur" (as opposed to a secular or non-Jewish community) have this "fatal flaw" in our "misguided thinking?"

Did it fall from heaven?

Why do we think "someone who does good, cannot possibly be bad in any way."?

Do non-religious Jews better understand human nature than "our Tzibbur"?

I believe that you and I both know the answer. However, it is too uncomfortable and politically incorrect to verbalize.

However, as a survivor, I have no hesitations or reason to be politically correct.

I did my time in the trenches of cw and was exposed to things a twelve-year-old should have never seen or experienced.

Perhaps you were anticipating and waiting for me to come forward.

I believe b'emunah Sheleima; it is my calling to say what is in my heart.

We possess this "misguided thinking" because our teachers instructed us in this manner.

Where else could it come from?

I was taught in Bais Yaakov that rabbis are good people, basically flawless individuals.

Excuse me for being audacious, however, when you wrote, "The most fallacious statement in our misguided thinking is, "someone who does good, cannot possibly be bad in any way."

Are there exceptions to this rule, namely people who we must accept as a truth that they "cannot possibly be bad in any way?"

You stress that we have the misguided belief that "if it glitters it is gold".

And you continue to point out, "In order to move forward, we need to first rid ourselves of a fatal flaw."

We are a Tzibbur which prides itself on "Moshe Emes V" Soraso Emes".

If so, where and how did our Tzibbur come to embrace such a fatally flawed, misguided way of thinking?

Your average ignoramus, which you will find on any street corner, knows that all that glitters is not gold.

How can it be that such a simple, self-compelling truth is not part of our Tzibbur's collaborative thinking?

The obvious answer as to why our Tzibbur is stricken with the halo effect is because the halo effect is part and parcel of every Bais Yaakov girl's education.

Some evil spirit did not fall from the Shomayim and smitten us with "misguided thinking."

Indeed, embracing the "halo" effect and believing the misguided thinking that all that glitters is gold signifies a successful Bais Yaakov education.

Please forgive me, and cut me some slack. However, you hit a raw nerve in my Neshama.

Thousands and thousands of Bais Yaakov girls are being programmed as we speak to believe rabbis are the correct address for proper counseling.

Emunas chachomim is a bedrock principle in Bais Yaakov.

No Morah in any Bais Yaakov adds the caveat when she speaks about rabbonim, "But, girls, beware, even the good rabbis can be bad. Even good rabbis can be rapists, sexual predators, narcissists, mafia-chieftains, crooks, philanderers, debauched and depraved perverts who may attempt to rape you?"

If "our Tzibbur" has this "misguided thinking," it came from the educators in the classrooms of "our Tzibbur!"

I can confidently say that in no Bais Yaakov classroom in Bnei Brak are the girls informed that good rabbis can also be very wicked people.

And I doubt there is a Bais Yaakov in the world where the Moros make sure to impress upon the girls that they should know, "Even the great Tzadikim who we tell stories about- might assault you and traumatize you for life. Therefore girls, remember, even the good people who seem to glitter may have a dark side to them."

You write, "In order to move forward, we need to first rid ourselves of a fatal flaw".

How do you propose "ridding ourselves of this fatal flaw" if it is being taught as a fundamental dogmatic principle in Bais Yaakov's around the world?

Rabbi Lopiansky, are you a maverick and are proposing radical curriculum changes to our Bais Yaakov program? (I hope you are)

Are you saying that Bais Yaakov Moros begin to start to warn their charges that not all rabbis are what they seem to be?

If you are, then you are my hero.

If such is your intent, you hit the nail on the head.

The only way to rid our Tzibbur of misguided thinking that all that glitters is gold is to proactively educate girls about life's "real" facts from a young age.

Namely, all men (and even women) can be bad people and hurt you very badly.

If such had been my chinuch, I would have never fallen into the clutches of that fetid receptacle of fecal matter feigning to be human.

If I were told this fact from the age of seven and retold it every year, when cw brought me into his office to place his putrid paws on me, I would have been prepared and protected.

If only we knew (as you so eloquently write), "Even if one has bright and dazzling light radiating in his soul, it is not at all to the exclusion of him also having patches of darkness"- many girls and women would have been spared pain and suffering.

Rabbi Lopiansky, you are so right.

This "everyone is always good" approach has worn out its usefulness.

If we want to rid our Tzibbur of this plague of molestation, an overhaul of girl's Chinuch is step number one.

Rav Chaim Shmuelevitz taught, "Ohr v'chosech mishtamshim b'irbuvya" [lit. light and darkness are concomitant] we must embrace his deep insight.

We must begin to teach our girls to be vigilant and unafraid to stand up for themselves.

We must tell them that everyone, a rabbi, a therapist, a morah, and even a family member, has no right to touch you in a way that makes you feel uncomfortable.

If real change is to be had, we must expunge from our girls the misguided thought that all that glitters is gold.

Our girls must know the truth, namely, that everyone, literally everyone, can be bad.

Our daughters need to be drilled in the ugly truth that they must protect themselves from anyone who tries to violate them sexually, even if that person is in their own home.

Rabbi Lopiansky, I am sure you know that the overwhelming occurrence of sexual molestation occurs in the home where the perpetrator is a family member.

Attend any support group of female survivors of sexual abuse, and you will quickly realize that the overwhelming majority of them were attacked and molested by brothers, step-fathers, cousins, uncles, sisters, and unbelievably shocking but true, even their father.

The "bad" therapist and the "bad" Rebbe or rabbi account for less than 10% of molestation.

Too often, a girl's own bedroom is her Hell on Earth.

We must instill in our daughters this information.

They must have the necessary tools to fight back.

Misguided thinking leads to fatal flaws in life.

Educating our girls, especially at a young age, leads to empowerment and resistance to abuse.

Our girls must know that if they are touched by a family member or a therapist, Rebbe, or whoever, they should immediately yell and scream.

They should scream at the top of their lungs and claw and bite their molester if needed.

Most molesters are spineless cowards who melt away at first sight of resistance.

The proof is in cw. As soon as he was exposed, he did the spinless act of shooting himself in the head.

The best weapon in our arsenal is our ability to shame and expose the molester.

The molesters best friend is the Sefer Chofetz Chaim.

They rely on the fact that their victim will be silent.

The first step in eradicating molestation in our community is, as Rabbi Lopiansky states, ridding our Tzibbur of the misguided thought that all that glitters is gold.

Once we have purified the minds of our daughters with the knowledge that anyone is potentially a molester, we can arm them with tools to fight back and protest.

When molesters realize that their formerly meek and submissive victims are now fortified fighters of abuse, who refuse to go down without a fight and refuse to remain silent, they will crawl back into their private den of iniquity.

We should supply every Bais Yaakov girl with the reporter's phone number from Haaretz as they alone seem up to the task of being brave enough to take down a monster.

Hope is on the horizon once we have finally rid our daughters (and sons) of these fatal flaws of thinking all is good and glittery.

When I finally told my mother, and she told the local rabbi, I was violated again, this time emotionally.

I was not believed, and even if finally, some local rabbis did, believe me, my pain was minimized, swept under the rug, and I was never validated.

That is why I had to move from Bnei Brak.

The approach of complete denial or minimization of the abuse, always lacking any validation of my pain, drove me far, far away from the environs of my hometown.

Rabbi Eisenman, I have taken too much of your time already.

I end with a few closing remarks.

Rabbi Lopiansky writes, "Yes, you will righteously declare, "the rabbanim ought to do x, y, z." I need to break the news to you: There is no organization called "the rabbanim." There are thousands of rabbanim, rebbeim, ramim, each inundated with the needs and demands of their communities and talmidim. But each one is a yachid, overwhelmed by the particular needs of his charges."

I must ask Rabbi Lopiansky, "Yes, of course, there is no organization called "the Rabbanim," but please don't play me the fool by claiming that rabbis never act in unison or as an organization.

You know better than me that as we speak, high-stakes politics are going on In Israel involving the religious identity of the Jewish State.

 I have seen numerous proclamations signed by many well-known and high-profile Rabbis taking a stand TOGETHER condemning an individual minister or an Israeli government policy.

I have yet to see the same signatures on a joint proclamation condemning cw (or Eliezer Berland, who you allude to in your article), notwithstanding the clear danger of these people to vulnerable Jewish children.

When it comes to supporting the oppressed and abused, namely victims of sexual assault, they are overwhelmed and have no time?

Can they not find the same time to issue a proclamation supporting victims of cw?

Does this respectful question not deserve an honest answer?"

I conclude with my revulsion to the most painful post I have ever read.

I must react and protest as the truth must be revealed, and sheker must be called out!

A noted female educator, Tzipora Heller, shockingly wrote,

"Chaim Walder's 53 books were inspiring, sensitively written, and sold 2 million copies, a record for Israel. He lost his balance. I didn't stand in his shoes. Hashem is called The Place in which the world exists. Pirkei Avos tells you not to judge anyone until you stand in their place, where something pure remains."

Mrs. Heller's remarks are too painful to believe that a Jewish mother wrote them.

Suffice to say, they trigger strong flashbacks and are so hurtful I will limit myself to one comment.

Mrs. Heller, you wrote, "I didn't stand in his shoes. Hashem is called The Place in which the world exists. Pirkei Avos tells you not to judge anyone until you stand in their place, where something pure remains."

Mrs. Heller, I did stand in chaim walder's shoes; I did stand in his place, too many times that I care to remember.

Let me make one thing, Mrs. Heller, crystal clear.

There is no purity in the place of chaim walder.

Instead, there is filth, wasted seed, abuse, rape, violent humiliation of a twelve-year-old girl, evil in its worst form.

In his place, there is trauma and destruction of souls.

In his place, the only thing pure which remains is pure persistent perpetual pain and anguish.

Shame on you, Mrs. Heller!

You prove Rabbi Lopiansky's thesis that the belief that "someone who does good, cannot possibly be bad in any way… is flat-out wrong."

I am sure you have done good; however, the bad that you did with your post is a shameful culmination of your life in Jewish education.

Mrs. Heller, you mentioned, "I didn't stand in his shoes."

I did stand in his shoes.

I was forced to stand in his shoes and forced to be in his place.

As a person who has a right to judge cw, after all, Pirkei Avos tells you not to judge anyone until you stand in their place, and I did stand in his place; I judge him to be a wicked evil man. A man who was allowed by cowardly and spinless people to continue assaulting boys, girls, and women for decades.

Ultimately, I judge him worse than a murderer.

A murderer kills your physical body while the soul remains pure. The pedophile not only abuses and humiliates the body, but it also kills your soul forever.

I judge him as a man who stole my innocence, girlhood, adolescence, and naivete.

I judge him for taking away from me the excitement and anticipation every Kallah deserves the day of her wedding and replacing it with dread and horrible flashbacks.

I judge him for stealing my love of life and love of all aspects of marriage.

He caused me horrific spiritual and emotional damage, which is irreparable and continues to haunt me.

May his name rot, and may his name be blotted out through the eradication of his books from this world forever.

I conclude with gratitude for finally allowing me to have a voice.

I conclude with an appreciation for helping me carry my burden.

Knowing that my voice is heard makes me optimistic that tomorrow will be better.

The more you hear my voice, the more I know that Hashem has indeed listened to my voice.

And that knowledge is comforting.

 

With pain and gratitude,

Rena Salomon,

formerly of Bnei Brak currently living in the United States

The Necessity of a Core Curriculum - Realized

Belzer Chasidim at the 2013 wedding of their Rebbe's grandson (TOI)

There is good news to report today. There has been a sea change in the Chasidic world of Belz in Israel: From the Times of Israel:

The leader of the Belz Hasidic sect has approved the inclusion of core curriculum in its elementary schools, including math, science, Hebrew and English, according to Wednesday media reports.

The sect’s education committee met on Monday with Education Ministry director Dalit Stauber and other top education officials in an attempt to formulate a model by which Talmud Torahs, the community’s equivalent of grades 1-8, that teach core curriculum would be fully budgeted by the state in accordance with their success in these studies, the Kan public broadcaster reported.

Belz, led by Rabbi Yissachar Dov Rokeach, is the second-largest Hasidic sect in Israel, with the proposed reform initially involving some 7,000 children.

The Times goes on to explain why this turn about has happened. Which includes many of the things I have discussed here. Although I’m sure the government financing of their school system was part of the equation - that has never moved them to change their ways in the past. 

I guess the Belzer Rebbe reads my blog. Either that or the reality of the financial condition of his Chasidim has hit him. Either way this is a very positive development.  

My hope is that other Chasidic sects will follow suit. In the past a comment like that might have been followed by ‘fat chance’. But I would have said the same thing about Belz. Thankfully I have been proven wrong. At least about Belz. 

That being said, I am not optimistic about the Lithuanians type Charedi Yeshivos in Israel doing anything similar. This may sound strange considering the fact that in America the opposite is true.   Most of the the Lithuanian Yeshivos in America actually do have a secular studies curriculum in their most of their schools. While most of the Chasidic schools don’t.

The difference I think is in the Hashkafa of Chasidim versus that of the Lithuanian Charedim. The Chasidic world has always had a work ethic. They do not promote full time Torah study for everyone. They believe that after a few years in Kollel one must go out and support their family.  The problem has always been in their refusal to educate their people in order for them to do that better  -for fear of non Jewish influences. 

Working for a living was never an issue for Chasidim. It's just that they feared the negative influences they believed were inherent in a secular studies curriculum. Better to be poor than take a chance on that.  But the work ethic was always there. Belz in Israel has finally come to the realization that there is nothing wrong and everything right with getting an education that will enable them to better their lives materially

On the other hand the Yeshiva world in Israel has a ‘take no prisoner’ attitude about Torah study. A work ethic does not exist as anything other than a B’Dieved. Learning full time is what every man must strive for under all circumstances unless they have their backs against the wall and absolutely no choice. Then they may take a job while at the same time ‘knowing’ that they have become a second class citizen compared to those that still learn full time. And they will be on their own without any preparation for their new lives

With this attitude in place the Yeshiva world in Israel will never agree to a  secular studies curriculum. Because that would take time away precious from Torah study in exchange for material pursuit. An end that is at best of secondary value compared to the primacy of full time Torah study.  

Interestingly the attitude is the same in America and yet there is a lot more tolerance here for getting a job.  That is part of the reason why most Lithuanian type Yeshivos in America have relatively decent secular studies curricula.

Not so in Israel. They have this ‘Yehoreg V’Al  Ya’avor attitude. My guess is that the vast majority of Lithuanian rabbinic leaders in Israel will never allow that to happen.

But at least for the Chasidim of Belz, this could be the beginning of a whole new chapter that will usher in greater prosperity for their families.

Is the Memory of the Holocaust Fading?

Lily Ebert on TikTok (People)

I am not a fan of the United Nations, to say the least. It’s true that it was the UN that in 1948 voted to create the State of Israel. But since then it has become a bastion of Jew hatred disguised as ‘legitimate criticism of Israel’. But sometimes they actually do some good things – even in the current era. On November 1, 2005 the General assembly voted to create International Holocaust Remembrance Day to be observed every year on this day, January 27^th – the anniversary of the liberation of Auschwitz by Russian troops in 1945. As a child of Holocaust survivors, I applaud them for doing that.

I remember when Steven Spielberg's magnum opus, Schindler’s List came out. It was 1993 and a seminal moment in movie making history. Although the story of the Holocaust was by then well documented and well covered by the media and film industry, it was the first time a filmmaker of that stature attempted to make a movie that would be relevant even after so much was already known about it.  It was also the first time that the concept of Righteous Gentiles was highlighted.

Schindler’s List received rave reviews. Some reviewers (e.g the late Gene Siskel and Roger Ebert) said it was the most important film ever made. It was also the recipient numerous Academy Awards – including  Best Picture and Best Director (Steven Spielberg). In part because of that, this movie was seen by more people than any other Holocaust film to that time

Perhaps most importantly, Speilberg followed that movie up with the creation of the Shoah Foundation. Which to date has recorded visual testimonies of over 52,000 survivors, witnesses, and liberators. Those videos are located in the US Holocaust Museum.

As important as that movie was in perpetuating the memory of the Holocaust it was not without controversy. Some of the more extreme right wing Orthodox rabbis at the time  Paskined that it was forbidden to see that movie because of the full frontal nudity in it. Which involved actors potraying naked Jews marching to their death in the Nazi gas chambers. On the other hand there were many mainstream Orthodox rabbis that did not have a problem with those scenes. Context is everything. Some even considered it a must see!

This brings me to what happened in Tennessee: 

A Tennessee school board has banned a Pulitzer prize-winning novel from its classrooms over eight curse words and an illustration of a naked cartoon mouse.

The graphic novel, Maus: A Survivor’s Tale by New Yorker Art Spiegelman, uses hand-drawn illustrations of mice and cats to depict how the author’s parents survived Auschwitz during the Holocaust.

 I obviously do not agree with what that school board did. But was it in any way antisemitic? I don’t think so. Here’s why: 

Ten board members unanimously agreed in favour of removing the novel from the eighth-grade curriculum, citing its use of the phrase “God Damn” and drawings of “naked pictures” of women, according to minutes taken from a board of education meeting earlier this month. 

That was followed by the following comments from two board members:

“I am not denying it was horrible, brutal, and cruel,” Allman said in reference to the genocide and murder of six million European Jews during the second world war.

“It shows people hanging, it shows them killing kids, why does the educational system promote this kind of stuff? It is not wise or healthy,” he added…

Mike Cochran, another school board member, described parts of the book as “completely unnecessary”…

“We don’t need this stuff to teach kids history. We can teach them history and we can teach them graphic history. We can tell them exactly what happened, but we don’t need all the nakedness and all the other stuff.”

I don’t agree with that decision for the same reason that I did not agree with the rabbis who banned Schnidler’s List. Like I said. It’s all about context. The horrors of the Holocaust must not be diminished with excuses about ‘inappropriate pictures’. The story of the Holocaust must be told in all of its gory detail. Nothing should be left out. 

But this does not mean I think the Tennessee school board is any more antisemitic than the abovementioned Orthodox rabbis who banned Schindler’s List. They did it for similar reasons. And, they were both wrong.

And yet even with all the effort put in trying to prevent the Holocaust  fading from the memory, there are  shocking statistics about how successful those efforts have been:

Almost two-thirds of young American adults do not know that 6 million Jews were killed during the Holocaust, and more than one in 10 believe Jews caused the Holocaust, a new survey has found, revealing shocking levels of ignorance about the greatest crime of the 20th century.

According to the study of millennial and Gen Z adults aged between 18 and 39, almost half (48%) could not name a single concentration camp or ghetto established during the second world war.

Almost a quarter of respondents (23%) said they believed the Holocaust was a myth, or had been exaggerated, or they weren’t sure. One in eight (12%) said they had definitely not heard, or didn’t think they had heard, about the Holocaust. 

It would seem from these horrible statistics that all efforts to perpetuate the memory of the Holocaust – aren’t working. Sadly, I’m not sure there is much we can do about it -  if all the above efforts ended up with statistics like those. And yet there is hope by way of what one individual did in the most unlikely of resources, a phone app called TikTok. 

This is one thing that the COVID pandemic has produced that is very positive. It was done during the lockdown in the UK. Lily Ebert, a 98 year old Orthodox Jewish Holocaust survivor has - together with the help of her 19 year old Charedi great grandson, Dov -  produced a series of TikTok videos about her experiences during the Holocaust.  Which has gone viral with over 20 million views! 

What makes this seven more significant is the demographic that views TikTok. Which is people under 40 years of age. They are the most ignorant demographic about the Holocaust.  But many of them are now learning about it in much of its gory detail from someone that actually lived it. And telling her story directly to them in a popular social media app.  

If you want to be really inspired, I urge you to watch this segment broadcast today on CBS Mornings. I often criticize the mainstream media. Justifiably. But not this time. CBS deserves praise for broadcasting this story (and the reaction of the 3 news anchors to it). When something like this is broadcast to many millions of people, it cannot help but spread awareness to people that might not otherwise know about it. Thank you CBS.

A Shocking Kol Korei

The new Agudah Moetzes Kol Korei  (with YWN translation)

As if on cue, what the Agudah Moetzes just did underscores exactly what Rabbi Yehuda Greenwald was talking about in his Tzarich Iyun article. A few days ago YWN published the recent  Kol Korei (a statement expressing their ‘Daas Torah’)  by the Agudah Moetzes. It is about current controversies in Israel. Here in major part (from from the Agudah’s free translation) is what they said: 

We hear cries of pain from our brothers who dwell in Eretz Yisroel as the Israeli government plans decrees that will seriously affect the Torah population there. Examples include: 

desecrating the Kosel HaMaaravi – the last remnant of the Beis Hamikdash and the place from which the Divine Presence has never left – by permitting in it mixed prayer services and desecrations of our holy religious values;

acting to remove the safeguards for modesty accepted by the chareidi population upon themselves with respect to the use of “kosher” phones;

spreading Shabbos desecration such as in public transportation and the like;

canceling oversight over kashrus;

intruding into the education systems of chareidi institutions;

conspiring to undermine the yeshivos by forcibly conscripting their students;

and, most pressing now, acting towards weakening Jewish identity and holiness by allowing any community the authority to perform conversions. This will result in invalid conversions where the convert does not properly accept upon himself the obligations of Torah and mitzvos.

The ultimate outcome of all this will be to uproot the Torah from its status as the foundational identity and eternity of the Jewish people, and to turn the Jewish people into a nation like all others... 

We will object strongly against these plans, just as our ancestors have over the course of history stood against any who have attempted to turn us away from Torah law.

To the G-d fearing religious public we say: This is a time fraught with danger for the Jewish nation, and we must cry out – from the depths of our hearts – that Hashem save us. We are obligated to increase our tefillah until Hashem awakens a heavenly spirit by which these edicts will be cancelled.

This Kol Korei is so upsetting -  I don’t even know where to begin. First much of what they claim to be the case is not true; or grossly mischaracterized; or exaggerated. This is not to say that I agree with everything the new government there is doing. But I do not see any of it designed to turn us away from the Torah.  

Let me start with the Kotel issue. The fact is prayer at the Kotel before 1948 was not separate. Men and women prayed there together. One might say that they had no choice since Israel was under were the British mandatory then. But if separation was really mandated by Halacha, there could never have been men and women there praying simultaneously. They would have come at separate times. But as pictures and archival footage of that era clearly show, men and women prayed there together all the time. The only time a Mechitza is needed is in a Shul. 

Today, most Poskim consider the Kotel Plaza a Shul. For the most part that is why men and women are separated by a Mechitza there. But other parts of the Kotel are not a Shul. Designating a portion of it away from the Kotel Plaza where men and women can pray together is not a violation of Halacha. If it were - the Charedi MKs would have never agreed to it in the first place. That they later reneged is for other reasons that are beyond the scope of this post. 

Their complaints about government actions with respect to removing modesty safeguards of cellphones has little merit.  Those government actions do not force anyone to buy a smart phone. People that want ‘Kosher phones’ will be able to get them as easily as they always have. That smartphones can be owned now without being detected is not the government’s problem. It is a Charedi problem. The situation in Israel will now be no different than it is in America. Furthermore, I do not concede for a moment that smartphones should be banned. The fact is that the Moetzes doesn’t really think so either. That is demonstrated by the fact that their lay leaders are all REQUIRED to own one!  

The next item is particularly galling to me. The Moetzes is objecting to government interference in Charedi education. Translation: They support the right of  Charedim to be ignorant and unprepared for the workplace. I am not going to re-hash all of my issues with this. Suffice it to say, that what they are objecting to is - in my view - counterproductive to what they think they are going to accomplish. As  increasing numbers of Charedim will find themselves out in the cold with no decent job prospects for lack of such an education. 

Then there is their objection to the government ‘forcibly conscripting their students’ into the army. That is so far away from reality, that it’s laughable. It’s true that some of the laws will make the amount of time they will be allowed to delay  required service of some kind will be shortened. But asking them to serve their country once they leave the Beis HaMedrash has been in place for some time now.  It is not an unreasonable request. Why should they not have the same obligation as the rest of the country? Especially since the government is asking of them is far less than it asks from non Charedim? To say that they are attempting to turn us away from Torah with this law is patently false. 

Furthermore it casts aspersions on the Hesder program whose religious Zionist soldier/learners are often among the elite of IDF service. They risk their lives to protect all Israeli residents. Including Charedim. The Moetzes may not agree with them. But to characterize even the requirement of non military national service to one's country as destructive to Judaism is absurd. And frankly - offensive! 

Another issue that the Kol Korei got wrong is the Kashrus situation. The reorganization of Kashrus supervision does not mean that non kosher food will be labeled Kosher. Opening up other Kashrus supervision agencies will make little difference to the mass confusion over Kashrus that already that exists there now. That only the Rabbanut (Chief Rabbinate) can approve a Hechsher makes absolutley no difference to the Charedi world. They do not trust the Rabbanut whatsoever on Kashrus issues.  Adding a few more will not change a thing even if they are all untrustworthy. 

That a new Rabbinic governing Kashrus agency will be added to the Rabanut may actually improve things. Religious Zionist Rabbi David Stav’s Tzohar, will surely be as trustworthy as the Rabbanut. Perhaps even more so. Charedim don’t trust Rav Stav? What else is new?! 

And finally there is the conversion issue. It is true that that rabbis in each municipality will be now allowed to perform their own conversions. But the new law still requires that each and every one of those conversions to be approved by the Rabanut. That basically means that Halachicly nothing will change. Except that it will require more work for the  Rabanut.

I get that  the Agudah Moetzes is upset by these changes. But this Kol Korei  is so overwrought – so over the top – that it would be laughable if it weren't so sad. 

It riles up the troops with a false sense of urgency And is totally unwarranted. Had they expressed their opposition more calmly - I wouldn’t have objected. They are entitled to their views. But to characterize this as Armageddon is in my view irresponsible. 

As I started out saying – this shows just how right Rabbi Greenwald is. We absolutely have a vacuum of rabbinic leadership. I don't know who's running the show over there. but it seems more obvious than ever that is is being run into the ground if this latest Kol Korei is the best they could do.

Is There a Vacuum of Rabbinic Leadership?

Rabbi Yehuda Greenwald (Tzarich Iyun)

Yiftach B’Doro K’Shmuel B’Doro (Rosh Hashanna 25b). Yiftach served as one of the leaders of our people during the biblical period of judges. He was the leader of his generation and was entitled to the same level of leadership in his generation as the great Shmuel HaNavi was entitled to in his.  

What makes this so remarkable is what the Gemarah attributes to Yiftach. When he was at war with the nation of Amon he made a serious blunder. In his attempt to gain God’s favor in securing victory he foolishly vowed to sacrifice the first thing to come out of the door of his house if he won.      

As it turned out, he won. And the first thing to come out of the door was his beloved daughter. There are different interpretations about he fulfilled that vow. But one of them is that since he made that vow, he had no choice but to actually sacrifice her.

And yet as outrageous as this was, the Gemarah tells us that he is granted the same degree of leadership as was the great Shmuel.

I mention this because I have often said that today’s rabbinic leadership  is nowhere near the leadership of a generation ago. That generation of leaders consisted of names like R’ Moshe Feinstein, R’ Yaakov Kaminetsky, R' Yitzchok Hutner, R’Ahaon Kotler, R’ Yosef Dov Soloveitchik, and R’ Ahron Soloviechik (just to name a few).

They were giants in Torah knowledge; kindness, they knew how to lead, and yet contained a level of humility uncommon in our day. They were venerated by all, myself included

This is not to cast any aspersions on the Torah knowledge of today’s leadership. For the most part they live up to their billing as great Talmidei Chachamim. But they are not leaders anywhere near the caliber of their predecessors – if they are leaders at all.

Whenever I have articulated those views, I have gotten the retort that: Yiftach B'Doro K'Shmuel B'Doro.  Just like Yiftach in his day - we are required to listen to the leaders of our day. In other words you play the hand you are dealt. The Charedi world calls this Daas Torah.

On the other hand it seems like a lot of the lip service paid to this ideal is honored in the breach by that very same community. I have heard that lack of confidence in those leaders in private conversations with many of the Charedim I know.

Why is that? Perhaps Today’s leaders do not even rise to the level of Yiftach. (Please do not misconstrue. I do not mean to minimize their Torah knowledge, integrity or ethics. Nor do I think they would ever do anything nearly as foolish as Yiftach did. But the one thing Yiftach had was leadership ability. Which meant that he was accepted as a leader by the entire nation of Israel in his time.

That there is no leadership today is exactly the lament of Rabbi Yehuda Greenwald, who has written a thoughtful but audacious article on the subject in Tzarich Iyun. 

Rabbi Greenwald is firmly implanted in the Charedi camp. This can be gleaned from his article. And yet he dares to ‘swim against the tide’ by criticizing the Charedi rabbinic leadership as failing in 3 critical events.  (His criticism is similar to the criticism I have made myself. Many times):

Charedi society has experienced three major tragedies in two years: our disorderly (to put it very mildly) response to Covid-19, the Meron disaster, and the Walder affair… 

Taken together, the three tragedies falsify the oft-repeated claim that Charedi society is led by Gedolim—Torah luminaries who guide us on all matters of public policy and behavior. The silence of our putative leaders and their clear lack of public guidance cry out to the heavens. The vacuum of leadership is embarrassing, to me and to many other peers, colleagues, and friends… 

Coming from a Charedi Rav, this is quite a shocking statement! But he goes on to explain why he feels that way in a somewhat lengthy article. It should be read in its entirety. I think he makes his case quite effectively. If only his peers and colleagues that feel as he does would have the courage to come out of the closet and admit their embarrsament publicly!

But I fear that mainstream Charedi rabbis in the trenches of Shuls and Yeshivos are not willing to admit those obvious truths and publicly join their colleague Rabbi Greenwald for fear of being ostracized.  

Sadly I don’t see any kind of groundswell of rabbis anywhere willing to do that publicly. I assume they fear it being seen by their peers in some kind of rebellion against the social order of the Charedi world.

What does that mean for the future? Who knows... But as things stand now, I imagine there will  be  more of the same and more attrition from Daas Torah by the rank and file. Some of whom may go OTD altogether. 

I’m not sure anything can be done about it. If this is how the current leadership is now, where are legitimate new leaders of the future going to come from?

HT: Manya Shochet

Hooligans? Or the Mainstream of Meah Shearim?

A Meah Shearim mob of violent protestors (VIN)

The cat is out of the bag. It appears that violent protests that take place on a more or less regular basis in the Meah Shearim and neighboring Geula sections of Jerusalem are not just a bunch of extremist hooligans at all. They are among the mainstream Chasidim of those neighborhoods The latest one was attended and addressed by some  of the community's biggest rabbinic leaders. 

Apologists for these protests had always insisted that these protestors are just a bunch of street kids - delinquents with lots of time on their hands. Saying that they are comparable to any other community in the world that has its share of delinquents and hooligans.  Adding that just because they look like the rest of their community does not make them representative of it. 

But, it appears that the apologists are quite literally wrong about all of that. That is not the case at all. They are the mainstream: 

Hundreds of Chasidim of the Toldos Avraham Yitzchak sect demonstrated outside a cellular phone store in central Geula Sunday evening…

Initially police attempted to protect the store from the angry protesters, who included the Admor of Toldos Avraham Yitzchak as well as other senior members of the sect including Rabbi Shimon Dov Bransdorfer and Rabbi Shmuel Bransdorfer (emphasis mine) who spoke to the gathering.

After the rabbis spoke the crowd sparred with police. Some of the assembled protesters succeeded in bypassing police and breaking open the door of the store. Six protesters were arrested and traffic was backed up on Malchei Israel street as police dispersed the demonstration.

Police released a statement saying that ” a short time after the beginning of protests at the site, tens of rioters began creating a public disturbance and blocking the street. Later they caused damage to a store, attacked police and damaged a police van. After police told them to disperse and they continued to demonstrate, police arrested three suspects for allegedly causing damage and public disturbance. Two policemen were lightly injured and received treatment at the scene.” 

This is not OK. It is a major Chilul HaShem disguised as a Kiddush HaShem.  And it ought to be condemned accordingly - by all other responsible rabbinic leaders. Of all stripes.

The frequent argument I always hear against  them doing that is that it would not do any good and a waste of time - since those Chasidim don’t give a flying fig what rabbinic leaders on the outside say. That is probably true. But beside the point. The world must be made to understand that these people do not in any way represent Judaism. No matter what they look like; or why they claim to be justified in doing it. No matter how ‘Frum’ they otherwise are.  And when I say, ’world’ I don’t mean only the non Jewish world. I mean the Jewish world. And when I say Jewish world, I include Orthodox Jews that might be tempted to defend them. 

That has to stop! 

But it won’t. The fact is that extremist factions like Toldos Avraham Yitchak are idealized by much of the mainstream Charedi  media. I recall a piece published in one of the periodicals a few years ago that extoled the piety of one of those Meah Shearim Rebbes. If I recall correctly they unabashedly added that the rest of the  Frum world can only hope to someday aspire to such lofty heights of Frumkeit.

I am thoroughly convinced that this kind of praise will continue. That a protest like this will be praised rather than condemned as an expression of the piety by which this community aspires to live. And the lengths they are willing to go to protect that holiness by not allowing the outside world to filter in. 

Normally I might say that even though I strongly disagree with them, they are entitled to their views. Maybe. But they are not entitled to use violence against people they don’t agree with; not entitled to create a pubic disturbance; destroy private property; and block main thoroughfares  - even in their own neighborhoods. They do not own the streets. The streets belongs to the public. A public that has nothing to do with what they are protesting.. 

These protesters are criminals who have been incited to violence by their own rabbinic leaders. There is no two ways about that. They should all pay a price - rabbinic leaders included. 

I am beyond disgusted by this kind of thing. Disgusted as much by the near certain refusal by any other rabbinic leader to condemn it – as I am by the violent protestors and their rabbinic leaders themselves. A  refusal that - by virtue of their silence - will give the impression that  all of Orthodoxy supports these miscreants. 

I hope I’m wrong. But I doubt it.

Walder and Trump

Chaim Walder (Arutz Sheva)

There is an unfortunate parallel to  be made between Donald Trump and Chaim Walder. Which is the idea that one cannot support what an individual does while not supporting the individual himself.

It is very troubling to me that people like this are supported. At the same time it is understandable. I was one of the people guilty of that in the case of Donald Trump. There is a reason for that.  As I have said (about umpteen times) - there was no better friend to the state of Israel  than the former President. I am not going to go into detail. Others may disagree about the value in those accomplishments. We are all entitled to our own. These are mine. And the views of many Orthodox Jews of all stripes that supported him. 

Donald Trump (Foreign Policy)

Another reason for that support were the choices he made domestically that favored Orthodox Jews. (Such as appointing Supreme Court justices that had a more favorable attitude toward religious values. Again - others may disagree. But this is how I see those SCOTUS appointments.)

All of that is why I defended Trump while rejecting him as any kind of role model for Jewish behavior. As did many of my co-religionists and others that had politically conservative values. They would say they supported Trump because of his policies, not because of his personal values (Or more accurately the lack of them).

As good as those policies were, did that justify voting for man like that? That was answered in the affirmative by the majority of Orthodox Jews.

But that was not a moral and ethical decision. At the end of the day, you cannot separate the man from his good works. To understand that better, we need only look at Chaim Walder and his books. Which by virtually all accounts were a tremendous benefit to their readers. His children's books were so popular that they are found in the homes of many Orthodox Jews of all stripes. The content of those books was considered a valuable resource for the benefit of children including  how to protect themselves from sexual abuse. To the best of my knowledge there no other books like them. 

And yet the majority of rabbinic leaders have said that those books should be removed from the home, discarded, and never used as any resource for their children. Despite the good advice contained in them. There is no separating the books from the man. The very name Walder as the author of those books will evoke the the evil spirit of the man himself and what he did. That by far outweighs the benefit.

I believe the same thing can be said about Trump. It’s true that the two situations are not identical. To be absolutely clear, there is nothing about Trump that is comparable to Walder’s sexual abuse. The harm Walder caused his individual victims is worse by orders of magnitude to anything Trump ever did to any individual. 

But Trump’s evil is still evil that will cause a different kind of harm. This is a man who did nothing to stop the violence that took place on January 6^th of last year. If anything he inspired it. This is also a man that to this day refuses to admit he lost the election – maintaining that the election was stolen - despite assurances by all the people (from both parties) involved in the the election process that there was not nearly enough fraud to have accounted for the huge margin of victory by which Biden won. 

To me this is a no brainer. Either Trump is completely delusional or a brazen liar of the highest order. (Perhaps even both!)  And yet nearly half the country actually buys into that lie! Among them many (hopefully not most) Orthodox Jews. 

That so many people can believe 'the big lie' in our day is shocking. And not the first time in history that has happened. It was exactly the strategy used by Nazi propagandists against the Jewish people during the Holocaust. If you repeat a lie often enough people begin to believe it. Now Trump is not Hitler. Not even close. But he is using the same strategy. 

This is what makes Trump so dangerous. Who knows what other lies he would use in the future to further his personal agenda. Which may or may not coincide with what is best for America. But even if they do coincide - governing by virtue of  'the big lie' is not the way to govern in a democracy. It is the way of a tyrant in a dictatorship.

No one would love to see the enthusiastic Presidential support of Israel return more than I would. And no one would appreciate conservative polices restored in the Executive branch of government more than I do. But the cost of a man who has memorized nearly half the country into believing his lies is way too dangerous to be given another term as President.  And yet there seems to be so many Orthodox Jews that don’t understand this – and actually buy into his delusional claims. 

Bottom line is - you cannot separate the man from his works. Not Walder. And not Trump.

A Crisis of Their Own Making

I was recently sent a link to a letter in a column called ‘Dating Forum’ This is an advice column by Baila Sebrow, a professional shadchan that responds to people with Shiduch questions. It appeared in The 5 Towns Jewish Times a few months ago.

That letter it is as relevant today as it was then. And as it has been for quite a few years. It reflects exactly what is wrong with the Shiduch system as it is practiced in the mainstream non Chasidic Yeshiva world. A system riddled with problems of a legitimate Torah Hashkafa taken to extremes. Which among other things includes a Shiduch crisis that has left many singles out in the cold. Despite the best efforts by their rabbinic leaders to change things for the better. I believe this letter is yet another example of the malaise of this exaggerated form of the Hashkafa that characterizes this world  today. The letter speaks for itself. Here is an excerpt that demonstrates the problem: 

Last year, after my father’s complications from COVID-19 left him unable to return to work, I had to stop learning full-time in order to take over his business. As a result, my then-kallah broke our engagement, accusing me of “breaching the Covenant between Hashem and Klal Yisrael” for ceasing to learn full-time. 

One might think that this is an anomaly. That this young lady’s attitude is atypical. But the following excerpts say otherwise - that her reaction was quite mainstream: 

Since the end of this fiasco, I have had a much more difficult time getting dates. The girls being suggested to me by various shadchanim are far below my level of frumkeit. When I recently e-mailed my ex-kallah to ask if she had any friends who would be shayach for me, she forwarded shidduch résumés of her former classmates who went OTD, as well as the résumés of her friends who are now divorced. (I am a kohen.) 

Despite my prioritizing learning every night from 7:00 p.m. until 11:00 p.m. every night with the balabatim in shul, their still-single daughters my age (upper twenties), in addition to shadchanim, are continuing to discredit my non-full-time learning as if I were a member of Footsteps or Minyan Shelanu (the lesser-known Footsteps equivalent in Lakewood). 

If this doesn’t tell you how messed up this Hashkafa has become, nothing will. 

As I said, there is nothing wrong with choosing to learn full time provided that this is truly your calling. As long as you do not rely mostly on public funds, I support doing this. But not for everyone - for a variety of reasons.

Some people do not have the aptitude for that - having instead an aptitude for other worthy endeavors; some do not have the patience of diligence to do it properly. But they are all nonetheless steered in the same direction of full time Torah study. All while being denied their real talents by virtue of the constant harangue by their teachers to learn Torah full time for as long as possible. With no thought about how they can support their families. Much less prepare them for it should they need to do that at some time in the future. Thereby negating the talents they might otherwise be better utilized in service to both God and man.

In terms of getting married, the Hashkafa of studying Torah full time has been exaggerated to such an extreme that if a young man has to leave it for the most legitimate reasons, he is hung out to dry by mainstream Shadchanim.      

The columnist responded to the letter writer - that he was lucky to find this out now before that marriage ever took place. His former fiancé was basically a control freak that would have bolted at the first sign of adversity that veered away from her idyllic lifestyle. 

She was also quite critical of the Yeshiva Shiduch system in which parents looking for marriage prospects for their children - place all of their marbles into  the full time Torah study basket - and the high prices parents are willing to pay to support the young Kollel couple in order to keep him there. She added that Midos – the character traits of these young men are practically ignored:

It is not uncommon to hear of affluent men who walk into a yeshiva and request from the menahel or mashgiach to get him the “best and top learning boy” in the yeshiva. In fact, the reason such stories are well-known is because they are told over by the people who successfully accomplish their goal and whose daughters get married under those circumstances. 

The pressure for these young men to get married is extreme. They are oftentimes ranked not so much by their middos or compatibilities as a husband and future father, but by their learning capabilities. 

And they better not have come to late to the party. If they did not start out in a right wing Yeshiva but came there after learning in a Yeshiva like YU - they are considered unworthy of dating by most of these young women. No matter how brilliant and diligent they are at Torah study now. There is also this: 

The mothers of these “top learning boys” will choose the prettiest and richest girls from the most yichusdik family they can find. Yes, this is the system that is in place, and no one can change it.  

Finally she advises that the young man seek a Shadchanim that specialize in ‘learner earners’ like this young man in order to improve his chances. And to modify his lifestyle a bit from the one he was taught to live by.

I don’t think I can add anything to what the message really is here. This is something I have said many times in the past. In the world of Yeshivos, people that work for a living are second class citizens that are unworthy of dating top tier young women. 

By the same token, young women are indoctrinated with these ideals from the very first moment they step into a classroom. By they time they graduate high school this attitude becomes a Yehoreg V’Al Yavor. To the point of rejecting as marriage material any young man that does not study full time. Something that is reflected by the way mainstream Shadchanim treated this young man after he broke up with his fiancé.

That this system is broken should be more than obvious by - not only this letter - but by the very acknowledgement of the Shiduch crisis their rabbinic leaders admit to being in.  But it is a crisis of their own making. The Shadchan in this article is right, It ain’t gonna change anytime soon. Which means that in the world of Yeshivos there will probably be an increase in number of unmarried singles of both sexes.

(To be fair there is a marriage crisis in the world of Modern Orthodoxy for entirely different reasons. But that is beyond the scope of this post which deals with the letter in Dating Forum.)

HT: Ari Rosman