Rav Aharon Feldman Apologizes

I am happy to report that according to Matzav, Rav Aharon Feldman, the Rosh HaYeshiva of Ner Israel has apologized for calling Rabbi Dov Lipman a Rasha. He did so after receiving a letter of explanation from Rabbi Lipman explaining that he was L'Shem Shomayim and only had the welfare of his community at heart.

Although he still strongly disagrees and calls him a 'Shogeg' (inadvertent transgressor) and misguided, R' Feldman realizes that Rabbi Lipman is indeed L'Shem Shomayim. He also said that he never called him Amalek or Haman. That's true. But he did say that he was a Shana U'Pireish. I guess he didn't remember that he said that.

In any event I give credit to the Rosh HaYeshiva for his honesty, ability to admit making a mistake in judgement and apologizing for it immediately. There is nothing wrong with disagreement. Even strong disagreement. An audio recording of his apology is available at Matzav.

Doing the Right Thing for the Wrong Reason

WoW's Anat Hoffman being arrested at the Kotel - Photo credit - Ha'aretz

Most people who read this blog know my attitude about the Women of the Wall (WoW). Let’s just say I am not a fan.

That said, I don’t think there ought to be confrontation of any type with them when they show up once again at the Kotel tomorrow on their monthly Rosh Chodesh visit.  Many of their past visits ended up with arrests of some of these women. They violated a law forbidding a women to wear a Talis. This is not their only departure from traditional worship at the Kotel. They pray in the manner of men, by not only wearing a Talis, but by reading from a Torah… which is a requirement of the day if one Davens with a Minyan.

A Minyan can only be constituted by Jewish men. Women – no matter how religious or sincere cannot be counted towards that number. But WoW does it anyway.

I am not going to get into whether it is a Halachicly sanctioned practice to do so. For purposes of this essay, let us say that there is probably nothing technically wrong with women doing so. Nothing - that is -  other than breaking with millennia old tradition… and annoying others at the Kotel who find such innovations objectionable and distracting.

I am also not going to go into the motives of these women. I will stipulate that they are all sincere in wishing to use a male modality in worshipping God. Although I can’t help but believe that at some level there is a hint of feminism involved. At least among some of them. But… let us say they are sincere and do not have a hint of fighting the good fight for equal rights at the Kotel. And that they are all there once a month for the purpose of beseeching God for the welfare of their families etc.

In my view, these women should be left alone. Let them pray in peace any way they choose as long as it does not violate Halacha. Should there be a clear violation Halacha, protest would be justifiable. I don’t think that anyone would object for example to protesting a clear act of Avodah Zara at the Kotel. That is of course no where near the case here. Many of these women are observant and what they do at the Kotel may be strange to most observant Jews – but probably technically within the letter of the law.  And now it will be legal too. From Ha’aretz (via the Forward):

The protests are expected to grow even louder tomorrow, following the recent landmark ruling by the Jerusalem District Court that it is not a violation of “local custom” for women to wear prayer shawls at the Western Wall.

This brings me to an article in the Jewish Press. WoW leadership has urged their group to not do anything provocative and has even decided to forgo reading from a Torah this time - although they will be wearing Talesim (plural of Talis). But it seems that there are some people in Israel intent on making an issue out of this:

On Tuesday, as Kikar Hashabbat reported, United Torah Judaism MKs held a special meeting with the deans and principals of the major Orthodox women’s seminaries in Israel, and it was decided to initiate a central prayer service at the Kotel, with, possibly, thousands of seminary students, as they put it: in response to the provocation by the Women of the Wall.

This move is supported not only by Charedi rabbinic leaders but by Religious Zionist rabbinic leaders too. The idea being that there should be no confrontation. Just a sincere and traditional practice by women to recite Psalms and/or ‘heartfelt prayer at the plaza by the remnant of our Temple, the Western Wall’.

I don’t know what kind of reaction these rabbis were expecting. But I’ll bet this wasn’t it:

“We just want to pray quietly and with kavanah (deliberately),” Ronit Peskin, director of “Women for Wall,” told Srugim… She stressed that every woman must come with full intention of sanctifying God in every part of her manner and prayers.

Shira Pruce, Director of Public Relations for then original Women of the Wall told The Jewish Press that she was honored and delighted for having inspired so many thousands of women to come and pray at the Kotel on Rosh Chodesh.

“If women of the Wall has inspired thousands of women to come to the Kotel, Amen V’amen,” she said.

Kol HaKavod for having this attitude. This could end up being a big Kiddush HaShem, but not in the way these religious leaders intended it to be… by showing them up!

Class of high school or seminary girls - Photo Credit: Kobi Gideon/Flash90

Nonetheless, I am opposed to this. I think it is a big mistake. First of all you never know what will happen when two factions that are on opposites sides of a controversy come to the same place – each to make their own point. This is not conducive to a peaceful conclusion. There are always zealots around trying to make trouble. And in the process make a Chilul HaShem. At the Kotel, no less!

I would just as soon there would be no attention drawn to this event. Religious seminary woman showing up in droves in a counter protest – even a peaceful and prayerful one will surely draw the attention of the media.

I don’t see how this kind of publicity will benefit the cause of those who would like to see WoW disappear. It will in fact do the opposite. Publicity like this will only help to perpetuate this monthly event. Which is probably another reason WoW is so happy about this turn of events.

In my humble opinion if WoW is just ignored it will eventually peter out. I just don’t believe this kind of prayer service will catch on with the public. The vast majority of people who come to the Kotel to pray will continue to do so in traditional ways. Although tradition evolves over time, it is a slow process that changes ever so slightly over time. Radical changes rarely if ever become traditional except under special circumstances.

Although it is never a bad idea for a mass prayer rally, doing one for spite – seems like it is being done for the wrong reasons. My suggestion would be to go ahead with it but not on Rosh Chodesh. Let them wait for another auspicious occasion when WoW will not be there and there will be no possibility for conflict. Like on Erev Shavuos just a few days later. Now that would be an event that everyone would support. Including me.

Rav Aharon Feldman’s Lament

R' Aharon Feldman, Rosh HaYeshiva - Ner Israel

Yesterday I had the unfortunate experience of listening to Rav Aharon Feldman’s condemnation of Rabbi Dov Lipman. Rabbi Lipman received his rabbinic ordination from Ner Israel in Baltimore, the Yeshiva which R’ Feldman now heads.

I was terribly pained by what I heard since I consider Rabbi Lipman a courageous man – a hero who as a self described Charedi – nevertheless stood up for a little girl from a Dati Leumi/Religious Zionist family in Israel that was spat upon and called a whore by extremist Meah Shearim type residents of Bet Shemesh.

This did not go unnoticed by the media – and more importantly by an upstart politician by the name of Yair Lapid. He asked Rabbi Lipman to join his newly formed party, Yesh Atid. Rabbi Lipman accepted. He is now a member of the Israeli Knesset.

What is Rabbi Lipman’s sin? It is his position on Limudei Chol (secular studies) for Charedim. He said in an interview that if it were up to him, he would close down any Charedi school that does not offer a basic core curriculum of secular studies.*

If one listens to Rav Feldman’s recorded words (available below) one can hear the pain in his voice. I can understand why someone so married to the system of Charedi education in Israel might feel pain about this. Charedim do not believe in providing secular education of any kind in their schools for their male students beyond 8^th grade. Even in elementary schools the only secular education students get is basic arithmetic and Hebrew grammar.

What I do not understand is the harshness of his condemnation. Disagreement?  Yes. But condemnation??!

Rabbi Dov Lipman, MK

It isn’t only that he was condemned.  The words used by R’ Feldman are among the most hurtful a religious Jew educated in a yeshiva could hear. He called Rabbi Lipman a Shana U’Porush! This epithet is usually reserved for people who have learned Torah, understand it, but nevertheless reject its teachings. He also called him a Rasha. The word Rasha is usually reserved for people who try to destroy Judaism. As in Haman HaRasha in the Book of Esther.

Coming from a man who heads a Yeshiva that facilitates their students to go to college while attending their school – it is a bit surprising to hear this. But not entirely.

A few years ago, I think it was at a Torah U’Mesorah convention, Rav Feldman was challenged to defend his Yeshiva’s policy of having a secular studies program and having all kinds of relationships with local universities so that Ner Israel students can attend them and get legitimate degrees efficiently.

Rav Feldman defended his Yeshiva. But in the process he lamented the fact that Yeshivos in the United States do not have a track that allows exceptional students to skip all secular studies. He pointed to his own grandson in Israel who in high school mastered all of the Tosophos in Meseches Kesuvos learning them by heart at age 16. He ended by claiming it is therefore unlikely for America to produce someone like his grandson in high school.

Rav Feldman had made Aliyah many years ago and his years in Israel surely influenced him. He has obviously adopted the Israeli Charedi paradigm of high school education as the optimum one. This - even though he presides over a Yeshiva with a reputation of excellence in secular studies, and the fact that he was himself an exceptional student of Limudei Chol growing up in Baltimore. (I wonder if he now regrets the time ‘wasted’ on Limudei Chol? I doubt it.)

To his credit, Telshe Rosh HaYeshiva, Rav A.C. Levine, responded to him and stood up for secular studies in high school. Telshe, he said, has always had a policy of including secular studies all the way back to its founding in Europe. He then challenged anyone to say that his Bachurim in Telshe were any less Talmidei Chachamim because they studied Limudei Chol in high school.

I doubt that R’ Feldman would call R’ Levine a Shana U’Porush or Rasha even though his Yeshiva, Telshe, is exactly the paradigm Rabbi Lipman has called for in Israel. This is something I have called for too. (I guess that makes me a Rasha too.)

That said, I do not agree with Rabbi Lipman*. I would not close down Yeshivos if they did not offer any secular studies. But I would not necessarily fund them with taxpayer money either. The point is that not only is Rabbi Lipman not a Shana U’Porush and Rasha, he is a man who is consistent in his views that the Charedi educational paradigm must change for the good of the country and the good of the Charedi world in Israel.

Rabbi Lipman is L’Shma. There is no doubt about that in my mind. This is a man of character who is now being vilified for his beliefs. Beliefs based on the very same Torah R’ Feldman believes in. Rabbi Lipman does not want to destroy the Torah community. He wants to save it! Does he deserve to be called a Rasha for that – even if Rav Feldman believes he is wrong? It continues to be difficult for me to understand the level of animosity toward those who suggest even the slightest implementation of secular studies into the Charedi school curriculum.

As if to add insult to injury, the American Agudah has called for a day of prayer – protesting any change in the curriculum of the Charedi schools in Israel; and protesting the proposed budget cuts to the Charedi world. The American Agudah is comprised of many Roshei Yeshiva that have the very same curricula that they protest being added to Charedi schools in Israel!

I can understand that they sympathize with Israeli rabbinic leadership on this issue – even if they do not abide by that standard for themselves. But to pray that their own educational system not be implemented is praying against something they believe in! Would not Rav A.C. Levin not make the same argument for students in Israel that he made for his own students?

One might answer that Israel has its own standards and that asking them to reduce the time they spend on Limudei Kodesh is ultimately wrong in a world where 'Torah Only' is touted as the best way for a Jew to live. As legitimate as Limudei Chol is, it should never replace Torah study already in place. But if that is true, then Telshe should have as its goal to eventually wean their students entirely off any secular subjects. I do not think that is going to happen.

Rav Feldman says that Rabbi Lipman’s claim that he learned his Hashkafos in Ner Yisroel from the Rosh HaYeshiva, Rav Yaakov Weinberg – is false. That R’ Weinberg would have never approved of someone threatening to close down a Charedi school in Israel. I’m sure that’s true. But I also doubt that R’ Feldman’s Hashkafos are the same as  R’ Weinberg’s.

That Rabbi Lipman advocated closing schools* is just an extension of beliefs learned in a Yeshiva that values secular education. He did not depart from the Torah’s ways and he is not a Rasha for trying to implement educational policies based on his Hashkafos. I only wish Rav Feldman would recognize that.

Click here for download of audio (From Matzav - approximately 4 minutes)

*Update
Rabbi Lipman has clarified his position today in the Baltimore Jewish Life. He was misquoted. Here is what he actually said:

The Israeli government should not fund institutions which don't teach basic math and English.  Yeshivos which don't do so will not be closed down but they won't receive government funding.  It should be pointed out that there are numerous yeshivos which already take zero government money and continue to flourish.

Not a bit surprising. 

The Moral Authority of Lakewood

Yosef Kolko

The trial of Yosef Kolko is about to begin. Rabbi Kolko has been accused of child molestation. According to Rabbi Daniel Eidensohn  “Kolko has already confessed to the social worker who will be required to testify.”  The social worker was hired at the behest of the Lakewood rabbis investigating the charges. This fellow committed sex crimes multiple times on a young boy in his charge while in a religious summer camp.

Rabbi Kolko has plead not guilty. Not sure how he can do that now – knowing  that a social worker will testify in court that he admitted the abuse actually took place. Rabbi Kolko faces up to 60 years in prison if found guilty. 

Lakewood’s rabbinic leadership has responded to this by coming out full force in defense of Rabbi Kolko – insisting on his innocence and claiming to have proof that he did not do this. They have made all kinds of threats to his accuser using the Shulchan Aruch’s language about Mesirah as a hammer. Language that says that informing on a fellow Jew to secular authorities means losing your Chelek in Olam Habah - your place in the world to come! (Although many Poskim say that Mesirah does not apply in a country like ours that has a fair system of justice.)

They have enlisted the aid of 2 rabbinic figures of great stature – one in Israel and one here  - to weigh in on this matter. Based on what these leaders were told, they have come out with very harsh condemnations of the victim’s father… claiming that he violated Halacha by not dealing with this 'in-house'. They said he should have gone to a Beis Din. They are the ones who are equipped to handle these things Halachicly.

It’s nice that these rabbinic leaders have so much compassion for the accused. But what about the victim? And how have they expressed their compassion to his father- the accuser?

The victim’s his father is not your average Baal HaBos. I don’t know his identity. But I am told by people who do, that if his identity were made known to me, I would recognize the name since he is originally from Chicago.

According to my sources the father is a major Talmid Chacham who until this happened was a respected figure in the Lakewood community. No one can say that he has no Ne’emanus…. and dismiss the case out of hand. He has also secured the support of another Posek outside of the Lakewood community that has much respect in the Charedi world. It is also not clear to me whether he did not attempt to go to a Beis din first. There are conflicting stories about that depending on which source you believe.

It is particularly galling to me is how this has been handled. Everything I have read about it tells me that Lakewood’s rabbinic establishment has no concern for the victim at all. And that they do not believe him or his father. They are concerned only for the welfare of the accused. The ‘war’ waged against the victim’s father is relentless and harsh. Here is just one example written in a letter written by a prominent Rav which has been made public: 

After conducting a thorough investigation I am absolutely certain that R' Y.K.[Yosef Kolko],may his light shine, is perfectly innocent of any wrongdoing of any nature whatsoever. And not only is he innocent but it is also as clear to me that all these allegations are fabrications made by [REDACTED].

 Further, all the reports made to the secular authorities were only for the express purpose of casting blame for their[the victim's family] own shameful and cursed existence on others. And the truth is that the allegations they make against others are crimes they themselves are in fact guilty of and they seek to cleanse their reputation by blaming an innocent man for their own deeds. 

There have been equally harsh words published by anonymous “Askanim” in Lakewood along these lines. Not to mention the letter from a respected rabbinic leader in Israel saying that the what the accuser was doing is forbidden by Torah law and that he should bring the matter first to a religious court.

There has been rabbinic pressure on the Lakewood community to do everything they can to help Rabbi Kolko.  This has resulted in a campaign to raise money for his defense.  It has also prompted one fellow to write text messages urging Lakewood residents to pressure the victim’s father to not testify.  The fellow has been arrested and charged with witness tampering!

What a sad turn of events in the Torah world. Lakewood is a tremendous Makom Torah. There is no place else like it in America. It’s sheer size testifies to the magnitude of its founder’s success. Rav Aharon Kotler probably never dreamed of such phenomenal growth. 

There was a very good reason that he was considered the Gadol HaDor by so many religious Jews of his time. The Yeshiva world that we have today can be directly traced to his tenacity in transferring the great Yeshiva world of Europe - destroyed in the Holocaust - to the United States. He created it in that image not veering one iota from his mission of establishing a Yeshiva where Torah was studied full time to the exclusion of all else. So successful was he, that not only has his yeshiva grown to an unimaginable size, entire generations of students are now populating not only Lakewood but many Yeshivos just like it – both here and in Israel.

I am in fact very proud of this fact. Despite my strong support for Yeshivos like YU and HTC, I strongly believe that there is a place – even a need - for Yeshivos like Lakewood. 

How sad therefore it is to see things like this happen. Lakewood’s reputation will be tarnished. Furthermore - you can’t have a premiere institution like this make bad decisions and not have it impact on all of observant Jewry.

We are a people whose mandate is Torah observance in all matters. Both between man and God… and between man and his fellow man. As such we are required to be a light unto the nations. Not sure how this episode gets us there. I will conclude with the words of Rabbi Eidensohn: 

Consequently Lakewood image of being the Jews who are truest to Torah will be tarnished. Their moral authority will be severely questioned and they are scared. I don't expect you to believe any of this but just keep it in mind when the trial is over and the dust settles. There will be no attempt to deliberately besmirch Lakewood - but there will be a clear revelation of the truth. That is what they are afraid of! 

The Past is Not Always Prologue

Charedi MK Moshe Gafni - Photo credit: YWN

This is beyond baffling. I understand the anger and the reasons for it. What I don’t understand is the extent to which Charedi leadership, their representatives in government, and their spokesmen  in media are willing to go to express it. What is even more baffling is that they actually believe such tactics will work!

The latest volley in the war between the Charedi leadership and the rest of the world has been in the form of making comparisons to Hitler! This is how a writer in the Israeli Yated described a speech made in the Kenesset by Yair Lapid. He compared it to a speech made by Hitler. 

Unbelievable! Hitler?!

He tries to wiggle his way out of it by saying he wasn’t comparing anything to the Holocaust. Just pointing out similarities in a speech.

It isn’t only this article that is so troubling. Just about everywhere one turns these days in the extremist Charedi world there is a ‘knee-jerk’ type reaction to even a hint that suggests that the other side has a point. Recall Jonathan Rosenblum doing that and suggesting ways to counter it in positive ways. Ami magazine’s publisher treated Jonathan as though he were a pariah! Rabbi Avi Shafran, who is a former editor at Ami and is still a frequent contributor to it defended Jonathan quite eloquently in an article of his own.

There is also this from YWN: 

It appears that the battle against the drafting of bnei yeshivos is not only directed at the government but at chareidi inductees referred to as the “chardakim” (חרדים קלי דעת ). Of late, a letter sent to the new inductees anonymously threatens those chareidim willing to serve, apparently by fanatics who are unwilling to tolerate seeing chareidim in the military under any circumstances.

 Reference is made to the “tamei” IDF uniforms, warning the recruits that if they are not out of the uniforms and tamei place in two weeks, an all-out war will be waged against them “at the correct time and place.” 

I have also been made aware of an opinion recently expressed by one Charedi rabbinic leader who said that any attempt to alter the long established Charedi curriculum of all Torah all the time with a basic core curriculum of secular studies for part of the day – should be fought tooth and nail. And this leader is often considered a moderate – for good reason.

Let’s not forget all the Yehoreg V’Al Yaavor type statements by various rabbinic leaders and their agents in the media who try and spread ‘the word’ - and steamroll any reasonable attempt at understanding and compromise.

There is only one word that can explain the over the top reaction by Charedi establishment to this: Paranoia. Of course using the world paranoia in the context of Israeli leadership may seem to some to be disrespectful. How dare anyone say that a Gadol who by very definition expresses Daas Torah is paranoid?

I am not God forbid saying that. I am not talking about clinical paranoia. But that word accurately describes what I believe the thinking process is. What I mean is that a lot of what is going on is misplaced fear based on a Jewish history filled with exactly the kind of things these leaders believe they are fighting now. There had been a consistent effort by ‘the enlightened’ secularist society aided by like minded Jews who had abandoned the Torah to do exactly what these leaders fear. This was also the attitude of some of the early Zionist founders which continued into the early years of the State.

So when Charedi leadership see tactics that resemble what happened then being used now, they draw the same conclusions. They see it as an all out war against the Torah. No matter how reasonable the demands being made now are… or how necessary a budgetary decision may be, they do not listen to it. They simply do not believe it and see it all as a conspiracy of anti Torah forces.They see an enemy of Torah behind every rock.

Instead of reasoned discussion in the Knesset, a speaker like Lapid gets shouted down – and later compared to Hitler! They will not allow him to make his argument. Lapid is therefore making the explanation of his ministry’s budget proposals outside the Knesset. Not that he doesn’t want to make in in the Knesset. But he knows what will happen. When he approached a Charedi Knesset member about being allowed to make his speech uninterrupted so it could be fairly discussed there, he was basically rebuffed.

This is paranoia! The Charedi leadership and their agents in the Knesset and the media are fighting ghosts!

While there may be some in government whose purpose it is to destroy the Torah world, I do not believe at all that destroying the Torah world is what is driving the current crisis. It is a sincere attempt at righting what they see as an injustice with respect to  military service – and perhaps more importantly an attempt to better the material lives of the Charedi population and in the process improve the overall economy.

I therefore do not believe for a minute that there can’t be compromise – at least in theory. I think that many Charedi writers like Jonathan Rosenblum believe it too. But the leadership seems intransigent. They are wearing blinders from the past. They see only evil. And their agents in government and the media are doing their level best to make sure that this version of reality is the only version that is heard by their flock.

Why is the Charedi leadership so blind to the truth that people like Jonathan Rosenblum and many other Charedi writers see. What is happening is not a reincarnation of Czarist Russia and their willing Jewish ‘enlightenment’ accomplices.  It is instead a legitimate concern about the welfare of a nation! Perhaps it is a willful isolationism that does it. When something like this happens they have a reflexive reaction to it without having any context.

I don’t know their reason for reacting in this way. But whatever it is, it is ultimately damaging not only to the Charedi world but damaging to all of us. Kol Yisroel Areivim Zeh LaZeh. We are our brother’s keepers. And if some of us are hurting, we should all be hurting. And there is no way we should just carry on with our own lives and ignore the sad fate of our brothers. They are being led down an unnecessarily path of enmity and suffering.

Modesty Hotlines

There will be no modesty patrols.  This is the assurance that some rabbis in England have given the public about their new initiative.

At the request of ‘the public’ the Union of Orthodox Hebrew Congregations (UOHC) has set up a hotline for Tznius infractions. For those not familiar with the organization, the UOHC is the religious body that is the Charedi alternative in England to the more mainstream United Synagogue headed by Chief Rabbi Lord Jonathan Sacks.

I believe that the ideology of the UOHC is similar to that of the Eida HaCharedis in Israel. The UOHC is also the same body that is headed by a man who was filmed advising a victim of sex abuse to not report it to the authorities because of the issue of Mesirah - and the same body  that another one of its leaders was accused of sexual misconduct with as many as 30 woman who came to him for counseling. 

It’s nice to know that this body is so concerned with Tznius. I’m sure that the Jews of England are quite happy with this upgrade in Kedusha for their community in what has become an increasing 21^st century obsession by the right.

(Which is kind of odd considering the fact that the above mentioned leaders are no doubt in the forefront of these matters. I’m sure for example that they insist that their wives and daughters abide by the highest standards of Tznius in the way they dress. I am equally sure that they teach their sons about Shmiras Eynaim (guarding the eyes) - meaning that they go out of their way to avoid even the slightest glance at even a fully clothed woman - dressed in accordance with the highest standards of modesty. A hotline like this will surely enhance their ability to avoid such things.)

I have no problem with a community living by any standards they choose. If this is what the community really wants, God bless them.  As long as they do not infringe upon the rights of those who do not agree with them.

Ahhh… but there’s the rub. If there just happens to be a woman walking through their neighborhood that does not meet their dress code, what happens to her? What sanctions will they employ once they have been contacted on their hotline? What will be their enforcement mechanism? But I digress.

I point out this latest ‘upgrade’ in religious observance to ask the question, where are the hotlines for violations of Chilul HaShem? Where are the hotlines for violations of Mitzvos Bain Adam L’Chavero – interpersonal relationships? Where is the hotline for victims of sex abuse? Or victims of financial fraud? What are the remedies for the victims? Or the sanctions for the perpetrators?

My uneducated and uninformed guess is that there are no such hotlines. The only hotline aside from this Tznius hotline that I can imagine might be for people accused of sex abuse – so as to protect the reputations of the accused, and to prevent the negative repercussions for their families and their community.

They seem only to be interested in matters pertaining to ritual law and have very little concern about serious matters like sex abuse or financial fraud. Nor do they seem to care about how their behavior appears to the rest of the world.

I’m not saying that Tznius in dress is not an important issue. But to increasingly and obsessively focus on only that - while one of the most prominent leaders is strongly believed to be guilty of the very kind of violations that Tznius in dress is supposed to prevent seems contradictory.  A leader who I am sure is one of the biggest proponents of such hotlines.  

They are not only missing the point by over-focusing on this issue, but they subject their community to the very ridicule and disdain they hope to avoid. Their goal in sweeping things under the rug is doing the very opposite of what they intend. Instead of protecting their reputations by cover-ups - when their behavior is discovered –as it almost always will be–  the wide spread and immediate dispersal of their behavior on the internet does the exact opposite. Their intended projection of an image of living a pure and holy life is hardly the way the world really views them

Unfortunately, I don’t expect things to change there. They will probably continue to circle their wagons proclaiming loudly that they live their lives according to the dictates of the Torah Al Taharas HaKodesh (in spiritual purity)  and do not care what the world thinks of them.

The problem is that one of the dictates of the Torah is promoting a positive image of God’s chosen people to the world. Those that lay claim to be the most observant among us are supposed to be the brightest of our lights unto the nations. The Torah talks specifically about how the nations of the world will look up to us as paragons of virtue – a virtue earned by adherence to Torah law. A virtue where Chilul HaShem has no place. 

I am not saying that a modesty hotline is a Chilul HaShem. But - Yatzah Scharo B’Hefsaida. Whatever gain that they think might be made in matters of Tznius will be lost in the ridicule of such extremism from the rest of the civilized world. Not to mention the fact that ignoring matters of financial fraud – and ignoring or  mistreating victims of sex abuse are intrinsically evil things to do.

Until such time that the extremists among us are cured of their obsessions and turn their heads to matters that in my view are much more serious, I’m afraid that the ridicule will continue… as will the very real above-mentioned problems.

Intimacy in Orthodox Marriages

Rabbi Daniel Schonbuch, MA

One of the most striking things about the book Hush by Judy Brown - aside from it’s primary message about how her Chasidic community in Brooklyn’s Boro Park deals with sex abuse - is how they deal with the subject of sex altogether. (Her recent article dealing with her naivete about experiencing her own puberty is also quite illustrative of her community’s attitude.)

Her descriptions about when and how she found out about the sex act were both humorous and sad at the same time. As I recall it, for young girls in her type of Chasidus (...although she did not identify them, I believe that it is Ger) sex is a completely taboo subject. There is no mention of it at all until a young woman is ready to get married.  I assume the same holds true for young men. Until then it is treated as a taboo subject never to be discussed in polite – or any company.

Those who dare to bring up questions about are probably just told to hush up!The explanation is very clinical and explained entirely as a matter of procreation. The main character in that book found it all shocking. 

I am not making any value judgments here. Nor am I going to go into the Halachic aspects of sexual relationships other than to say that although the primary purpose is procreation that is not the only purpose. The sexual relationship between a husband and wife is of paramount importance to a successful marriage. As long as it is done in a marital context and Taharas HaMishpacha (Hilchos Nidah) is observed Judaism looks with favor upon a healthy sexual relationship.

Several years ago, Rabbi Shmuley Boteach wrote a book called Kosher Sex. I did not read it. But I assume it was written with this idea in mind… advocating a healthy sex life for married couples. Rabbi Boteach was severely criticized for this – mostly by his own Lubavitch community. I assume he went too far in his descriptions of the sexual act. Or maybe they just felt that this subject ought not be published in a book… that it should instead be done discreetly in Chasan classes or Kallah classes. I don’t know. 

Rabbi Boteach had already been on the outs for other reasons in Lubavitch when his book was published.  Although still he claims to be a loyal follower of Chabad and has written many positive pieces about them - this book kind of sealed his fate as a Pariah to them.

I bring all this up because there has been a new book published on this subject entitled Getting Closer. The author is an Orthodox Jew - Rabbi Daniel Schonbuch. He is a marital and family therapist in the Crown Heights section of Brooklyn.  I assume he is Lubavitcher Chasid too, just like Rabbi Boteach. But unlike Rabbi Boteach it seems he is quite accepted in their circles.

Rabbi Schonbuch was recently interviewed in the Forward  about sexual dysfunction in the Orthodox community. The artilce opned with some interesting statistics: 

Sexual dysfunctions within relationships are more common than ever today, with an estimated 40% of women and 30% of men suffering from sexual dysfunctions, according to a new study from the Robert Wood Johnson Medical school. 

One of the things Rabbi Shonbuch points out about sexual dysfunction is the following: 

It’s important to note there’s nothing different about the Orthodox community. Rather, it’s not always spoken about, so they just need more information about it. 

Sexual dysfunction can take various forms for both men and women. If those statistics are right, it is a much bigger problem that I ever thought.

I have to wonder if this is in part due to the taboo nature of the very subject of sex. There is no sex education in religious schools. Although today there are classes given to young men and women (usually separate) who are about to get married.

When I was a young man, these kinds of classes were all about Halacha. Intimacy was never discussed and considered a private matter. Today  I’m told that these issues are discussed in Chassan and Kallah classes in some Orthodox circles. To what extent I don’t know. This is a good thing and ought to be encouraged in all segments of Orthodoxy.  But if Judy Brown’s experience is still true - I suspect that sexual dysfunction might just be a big issue there.

I found the interview in quite informative. After reading it, I wondered just how different the various segments of Orthodoxy treat sexual intimacy? How does each segment’s attitudes about sex impact on its members marriages  Is one approach superior to others? Are there any comparative studies? I think this is an important issue… one that ought to result in a universal Orthodox approach that will best contribute towards healthy sexual relationship and ultimately to a successful marriage. 

When Will Justice Really Be Served?

Victim's mother -  Photo credit: James Keivom/N.Y. Daily News

"What this monster of an animal did to our precious diamond is unforgivable," she said. "How many children's life will be ruined?"

So said the mother of a victim of sex abuse (at age 12 for about a year’s duration) after his abuser, Meir Descalawitz, was sentenced to a five year prison term. That was the result of a plea agreement. This means that he will likely be released in 2 and a half years.

I don’t know whether justice has really been served here.  A child’s life has been ruined. And his family who brought Descalawitz to whatever justice he received has paid a high price for it. In a very short 2 and a half years this man will be out on the streets again, free to abuse other children.

Although I’m sure he will have to register as a sex offender - that does not likely prevent a pedophile from trying to seek new prey to satisfy his urges. Where there is a will – there is a way. 

Descalawitz is a Pupa Chasid. It always gets  me when I see how Chasidic communities like Pupa treat these situations. I know nothing about Pupa Chasidus. But is is obvious to me that their reaction to the victim was very similar to Satmar’s reaction to sex abuse victims in their community. Here is the victim impact statement – read right before the sentencing:

"I will never forgive to you for the things you did to me," the now 17-year-old boy wrote in a letter read in Brooklyn Supreme Court. "You ruined my life."

"I have been hurt and this hurt will continue throughout my life," the victim continued, revealing that he had been kicked out of school and lost friends after reporting the abuse to authorities.

The victim is not the only one suffering the repercussions of this. As I said his family has suffered too. From the New York Daily News:

Mordechai Jungreis was shunned by his ultra-Orthodox Hasidic community for reporting his son’s sexual abuse…  A Brooklyn father who's been ostracized from his Hasidic community because he reported his son's sexual abuse claimed victory Thursday after the man who violated the teenage boy pleaded guilty...

The dad described enormous pressure from his insular ultra-Orthodox community: He was kicked out of his apartment, his kids were expelled from private school, and the family was shunned, all because he filed a police report on a fellow Jew.

"What we went through is unbelievable… the torture," he said. "But I didn't give up."

He didn’t give up. And he felt justice had been served. I guess a small victory is still a victory. The question is, will anyone in his community ever have the courage to do this again? This community is so opposed to Mesirah ( I assume that was at least part of the reason they reacted this way) that they destroy lives over it. They seem to feel that the reputation of the community is paramount.

Sex abuse exists in every community. The religious affiliation or fervor of any given group does not seem to affect their percentages of victims and victimizers. Based on media coverage of this very sad phenomenon, it is evident that when any community is confronted with accusations of abuse – self preservation kicks into gear. Where accusations of abuse are made - the primary focus of its officials is on how to protect their own interests.

The first inclination is to deny and/or cover-up. If that doesn’t work they try and put a positive spin on how they are handling it. It doesn’t seem to matter if it is the Catholic Church,  a major secular university, a Modern Orthodox University, a Kiruv group, a Charedi Yeshiva, or a Chasidic enclave. The reactions of all these groups tend to follow the same pattern of self preservation at the expense of the victim.  

Although there has been improvement to one degree or another in almost all these institutions they still have a long way to go. I say almost, because I cannot include Chasidic communities like Satmar, Ger, and now Pupa. This can be seen by how this victim and his father were treated by their Pupa community. Not to mention how Satmar treated Weberman’s victims. Or how Ger has protected Mondrowitz.

I don’t see how this can be explained in any other way. The reputation of the group supersedes the welfare of the individual. These Chasidic communities seem to take this attitude to the max. They are ready to destroy lives over it. Going to almost any length to preserve their reputations. This approach is probably also a function of disbelief and religious convictions:  

Respectable people can’t possibly be doing this. A victim who has goes OTD (off the Derech) lacks credibility. How can they now believe someone who has gone OTD and thereby harbors resentment toward the community they now reject?  They accuse OTD victims of lying because of an anti religious agenda out to destroy them.

It never occurs to them that the cause of someone going OTD is the very fact that they were abused and the way the community reacts to them. As in dismissing the pain of victims (like telling them to just get over it!) and sweeping it all under the rug.

Their isolationism probably means they have no clue about the high incidence of depression and suicide attempts by victims of abuse. They never heard of Motty Borger who jumped to his death on the morning following his wedding night. Or if they did hear of him - deny that sex abuse had anything to do with that.

They certainly don’t trust what any secular experts has to say on the subject. And if someone goes to the police??? Well, that’s Mesirah - the biggest crime of all!

Based on this kind of thinking one can understand their reactions. But one cannot justify them. The repercussions of that are too great.  Communities like Satmar, Ger, and Pupa cling to the notions that sex abuse is best handled internally. Which usually means that in far too many cases abusers will be allowed to live their lives with impunity; victims will continue to be sacrificed for the greater good of the community; and the number of victims will surely increase.

The approach to sex abuse in communities like this ought not be swept under the rug. It must not be hidden from the public eye. It ought to be exposed and condemned every time it happens until such time that public pressure will have an impact on them… and they are finally brought into the 21^st  century. At least on the subject of sex abuse. I think we have enough victims already.

Lakewood’s Financial Coup

Lakewood Yeshiva (BMG) - Photo credit: lakewoodscoop.com via VIN

This is one of those stories that worry me. VIN  and NJ.com  report that Lakewood Yeshiva (BMG) has been approved by the State of New Jersey for an over ten million dollar grant in what Governor Chris Christie is calling a “new era” for the state’s institutions of higher learning.

I’m sure that Lakewood applied for that grant legally and truthfully. I do not believe for a second that there was any fraud involved.  And I congratulate them on a successful outcome. Lakewood certainly needs the money. But I remain with some serious concerns.

The grant was given for the construction of a library and research center. Governor Christie’s goal is “keeping New Jersey’s “best” and “brightest” in-state, while attracting new research and business partners who will bring new and better paying jobs.”

What worries me is that in spite of what I am sure was a completely honest presentation of Lakewood’s plans to the state; I am not convinced that the state’s purpose in granting them that money is even a dream in the back of the minds of Lakewood’s leaders. Nor do I believe for a minute that such a library will serve any other purpose than the stated mission of such an institution – Torah study. The kind of research that library will offer will no doubt be only in that vein. Neither am I convinced that it will result in anything near attracting new business partners.  

This project will help to retain some of the finest minds in Torah Judaism. Lakewood is the premier ‘Torah Only’ Yeshiva in the United States. It attracts the best and brightest among its constituents. Expansion means attracting more of the same. Some of whom may settle there and eventually have good jobs. (And some – not such great jobs.)

But even so, Lakewood cannot claim that as its goal. It can only say that this is a by-product of their ‘Torah Only” system.  This is a yeshiva that forbids its students to take any secular courses while enrolled there and discourages it even after they leave. This is a Yeshiva whose Rosh HaYeshiva made disparaging remarks about someone who has been a pioneer in providing higher education for students of Yeshivos like Lakewood so that they could get decent jobs… basically referring to him as a second class citizen (…full time students of Torah being first class citizens). One might even say that Rosh HaYeshiva would view someone like that as undermining the goals of a ’Lakewood’!

It is also no secret that Lakewood uses the welfare system legally for students who qualify for aid. Most of them probably do - since they do not have jobs but do have large families. Even those whose wives work (most of them, I’m sure) do not make enough money to disqualify them from some sort of government assistance.  Again, nothing legally wrong with that.

I have to ask, is there not a moral or ethical issue of misrepresenting yourself to the world in this way – even if you qualify legally? Is there not something wrong with able bodied people choosing not to work and using the welfare system as a means of income? 

And by the same token, is there not something wrong with  taking over $10 million knowing what the government thinks you are going to do with that money  - and using it for something else – even though it technically qualifies? A Beis HaMedrash may be a library. But is a $10 million Beis HaMedrash going to attract business partners who will bring new and better paying jobs?

Even if it truly a research library and not a Beis HaMedrash - it will certainly only contain Seforim – religious books - even if some of them will be in English. What kind of research will this foster - other than research in Torah studies?

I of course have no problem with such a library. I think it will be a valuable resource for student of Torah. But is this what the State of New Jersey had in mind in approving $10 million dollars to Lakewood?

Lakewood’s goal is not Governor Christie’s goal. Lakewood wants to expand its student base.  The enormous growth in the numbers of Orthodox Jews, especially among Charedi Jews of the ‘Torah Only’ persuasion, demands such an expansion. For some time now, Lakewood has been talking about doubling its capacity to over 10,000 students! 

I guess they have found a way of doing that. But is it ethical? Will the state be happy with the results? And how will this be perceived by the secular public? Will they not see this as being unethical? Is this ultimately the wisest way of raising money for their cause? Will the potential negative fallout be worth it if it happens?

Training Wheels

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Are you the parent of a preschooler who wants to give your son/daughter the priceless Hebrew language skills that are so important to success in school (just think of how much better kids from Eretz Yisroel who speak Ivrit do in Chumash and Navi)?

 Do you have a child who is floundering in Limudei Kodesh (Judaic Studies) because he/she just can't seem to get his/her hands around the Hebrew language?

 Are you a chozer b'teshuvah who would love to be more fluent in Lashon Kodesh/Chumash or a frum-from-birth adult who learned by rote in your formative years and are still unable to read/understand Hebrew language text?

 Are you involved in the leadership of a cheder or day school and would love to upgrade the quality of instruction in Limudei Kodesh by introducing cutting-edge curricular materials that will attract and retain the attention of today's hyper-stimulated school kids? 

If any of the above (or all of the above) applies to you, please have a look at the just-released Volume II of our skills-based Bright Beginnings Chumash workbook. 

In order to better understand the educational philosophy that drove the creation of these workbooks, kindly click here for the Bright Beginnings home page. There you will find a10-minute video, an 11-page sample of the original workbook, and links to articles extolling the value of skills-based learning.

Please have a careful look at this 5-page sample of the Bright Beginnings Chumashto see the exciting "upgrades" this workbook contains:

1)      Page 1 contains a demo of an adorable "Shoreshland" game which is designed to review the skills acquired in the first workbook.

2)      Page 2 is a translation sheet which has red stars next to the words/shorashim covered in the first book. These stars which appear next to an incredibly large percentage of the workbook will give the learners a great deal of self-confidence as they realize how many words they can translate and understand on their own. 

3)      Pages 3-5 show worksheets with enhanced graphics that will have children (and adults) turning the pages with interest.

With this second workbook completed, you are now provided with curricular material covering all of Parshas Lech Lecha and the learner will gaYeshiva Darchei Noam and Project YESin mastery of 54 key shorashim (root words).

The second volume is priced at $20.00 for individual books and $17.00 for group sales of 10 or more workbooks. (Volume one is $18.00 for individuals and $15.00 for groups.) We are also offering both workbooks for $35.00 and $30.00 for group sales.)

As the director of Project YES for the past 16 years, I have fielded countless phone calls from broken-hearted parents whose frustrated children never "got" Chumash, and tried to convey the pain of kids who never acquired Hebrew language skills in these articles: It Doesn't Start in Tenth Grade, Training Wheels, and Exit Interviews.

We created this workbook series to help children avoid this heartache by acquiring the skills to succeed and thrive in Chumash and all their Limudim.

Please drop us a line at bbchumash@gmail.com with any questions you may have or to order the workbook(s). If you are involved with a school that is represented at the Torah Umesorah Convention this weekend, please note that I will be there from Thursday afternoon through Motzoei Shabbos and I will be glad to review samples of the workbooks with the delegates from your school and answer any questions they may have.

Rabbi Yakov Horowitz
Dean,Yeshiva Darchei Noam
Director, Project YES