Aliyah. That is a wonderful goal that we should all have. We should all be thinking about doing that as soon as we are able. But is it a good idea for everyone? I have always maintained that this should not be the automatic assumption. Yes, Yishuv Ha’atretz, living in the land of Israel is an important Mitzvah. One can only fulfill certain Mitzvos there: Mitzvos HaTeluyos Ba Aretz (Laws pertaining strictly in the land of Israel). And what a wonderful lifestyle it is living with one’s own people in one’s own land. The Gemara tells us, “Avira. D’Ara Machkim”. The very air of Israel makes one wiser! Even general mitzvah observance is almost always on a higher level in Israel then in the diaspora, no matter what segment of Orthodoxy one belongs to.
For those of us living in the in America, we can only imagine what it must be like sociologically… virtually everyone you come in contact with is Jewish. You are the majority. Religious holidays are celebrated as national holidays. It is Shabbos for everyone… Pesach for everyone… Sukkos for everyone.
It is your people running the show, whether it is in government, the arts, social agencies or… whatever. And then there is the pride of living in a country that is so advanced for the region, technologically… in the sciences, or in military prowess. And it is a country with western democratic values to boot. The very same type of values we Americans are all accustomed to.
So why am I not there? Well I should be, but I realize that even with all those pluses, there is one major drawback… the cultural gap. And that gap is not a small one. Aside from the very obvious language barrier, there are a great many other cultural barriers (…Types of music, types of food, types of sports). The economic system is different. Tax policies are different. The government bureaucracy is different (and almost unbearable even to native Israelis). And the cultural attitudes of native Israelis are different.
Life in Israel even with all those western values and culture that Israel has in common with the US is still radically different than it is in the US. Israeli is after all a Middle Eastern country and just through osmosis alone a good part of that culture is Middle Eastern. Like the food, for example… highly spiced according to Middle Eastern tradition. So I opted not to make Aliyah. I know myself too well. The hardships I anticipated are just too much for me. I am a creature of habit and I don’t know if I could handle the culture shock. I love going there. I love being there. But I also love coming back home to Chicago. Yes, I am a flawed human being. But in most cases a highly motivated adult can overcome these obstacles, although it usually proves to be much harder than originally thought.
There is an article in Ha’aretz that discusses a family that has recently made Aliyah. They live in the highly American enclave of Ramat Bet Shemesh. But I get the distinct impression from the story that this family has asked for trouble in their decision to move to Israel. They have 5 children. Three are ages 11, 13, and 16. It was not children’s choice to move. They were basically forced… against their will to leave all their friends and the environment they were comfortable in and move to a place where they knew no one, did not know the language and now have to deal with a culture radically different than what they have thus far grown up in.
I hope I am wrong but this family, although with the best of intentions, has created a monster, only they probably don’t know it yet. The largest percentage of Frum “Dropouts in Israel come from this demographic… a family who make Aliyah with teenage children. We all know where many good intentions lead and this may be the case here.
Don’t get me wrong. I hope they make it and I admire their devotion and sacrifice in making Aliyah. But the price may be too high. One must be careful and really think things through before making a move like that. One must consult with experts, and other people who have already made Aliyah to determine whether this will not harm their families.
There have been many parents who have regretted their decision after their teenage sons or daughters have become “Kikaristim”. This is what Frum teen dropsouts are called who end up just “hanging out” rebelliously at Jerusalem’s Kikar Tzion (Zion Square). I hope this doesn’t end up happening to this family, but if this excerpt from their son is accurate, “Yehuda, 16, says that he was forced onto a plane by his parents and doesn't understand why he had to move to Israel in the first place.”… I am worried.
I am told that Rav Elyashiv has advised his own American Charedi constituancy that if they are considering making Aliyah, they should do so either before the children are 6 years old, or after the children are out of the house. Otherwise they should stay put.He truly is a wise man.
