One of the more recent developments of our time is the seminary for women in Israel. This is a school that high school graduates attend to enhance their Torah learning, and spiritual growth. Young women who attend these seminaries go as girls, with heads full of mush and “graduate” as young women, ready for life. Or do they? Well, that depends on what that “growth” is and on how much that “growth” costs.
Although one would hope it to be the case, what is happening in most women’s seminaries today is not purely educational. The main thrust of most seminaries in Israel is transforming the Hashkafos of these young women into the Charedi mindset. They are taught that Limud HaTorah is the epitome of Yiddishkeit. Seminary heads call it “growth”. And this is the phrase used by Menahelim to promote their seminaries. They preach “growth” to these young women and sell it to the parents. In fact they are started on this path while yet in high school.
What is this growth really? No matter what background a young woman comes from, if they go to a seminary in Israel they will come out pretty much the same. If the indoctrination being used there is successful, every young woman will want the same thing and will believe that the ultimate purpose of women today is to marry someone who learns full time. Anything less than that is simply not acceptable.
These young women are taught that the epitome of a Torah lifestyle for a woman is to support her husband in full time leaning. So when they “graduate” seminary and are ready to start dating most of these young women look for young men who learn full time A working man is looked down upon as second class, even if he is a professional. No self respecting seminary graduate would settle for that type of mate even if every spare, non-working moment of time is spent learning.
Of course there are exceptions. In some cases, their heads are screwed on straight. And realize that one can be a true Bne Torah of the highest caliber and work for a living. But to some of these young even if they do realize that marrying a working man is not the “end of the world.” they might think they “can see it form there”. They think they are somehow compromising their values, Nebech. And that they are weak by wanting to be supported. That is how strong the indoctrinations is. Of course there are probably some seminaries that do not entirely indoctrinate their students that way. I hope. But I think that the vast majority of them do. At least the ones I know about.
And then what about the cost to parents of this little excursion by their daughters to Israel for a year? Well, $14,000 is about the going rate these days. No scholarships. And that does not include airfare and incidentals, like spending money. Yes, my friends, that is what it costs.
And what are you getting for this price? Not what you think. Whatever your Hashkafos are and no matter what you tried to inculcate in your children… expect to be surprised when they get back. And lest one thinks there is a difference between a Michlala and a Beis Yaakov type school… think again. There are academic differences but the indoctrination is not all that dissimilar between them. That’s because many of the same teachers teach at all the seminaries. They “make the rounds” and indoctrinate the young women the same way.
What we need is a good alternative to the year in seminary as it is now constructed. The cost is prohibitive and the product is not what one might expect.
Full disclosure: All three of my daughters went to seminaries in Israel. One went to Michlala, and the other two went to Scharfman’s. They had wonderful experiences with their year (in one case two years) there. They learned a lot. But they got their share of indoctrination in the guise of “growth” even in schools like that. I was one of the lucky ones, however. My daughters came out of there relatively unscathed. But many of their high school friends from similar backgrounds came out of there “looking for Mr. Torah”.
I suppose the reason the seminary system works this way is because it’s patterned to compliment the Yeshiva system which indoctrinates young men post high school to seek as their ultimate goal full time learning. These seminaries are merely trying to be compatible with that ideology.
But is this the best thing for Klal Yisroel? Is the n the best use of the very limited funds of most parents… considering the cost of educating all of their children before their year in Israel? I think not. For the vast majority of parents, the cost of education their children jewishly stretches the budget to the limit and beyond. And while one is trying to make their tuition payments for the rest of their children, along comes the “year in Israel” with it budget busting demends and no scholarships to be had. While the experience for these young women is a wonderful one for them and will last them a lifetime, the cost in both dollars and “growth” of changed Hashkafos make me question the entire enterprise.
I don’t know what the alternative to the year in seminary would be but one thing I do know is that there ought to be a better and more affordable way to give our daughters a post high school experience that is not indoctrination into a singular mold. There ought to be an alternative to what we have now.
