Monday, January 12, 2009

Projection - the Ultimate Defense Mechanism for Sex Abusers

Projection is a technical term in modern psychology. It is what is known as a defense mechanism. Those are ways in which people with various psychological deficiencies deal with their neuroses. Projection is the method whereby a person who has a specific negative character trait will ‘project’ that trait onto others. A sex addict calling another person a sex addict is an example of that. He will ‘see’ that part of himself on others instead of himself.

Just as there can be verbal manifestations of projection, there can be physical ones too. Projection can express itself violently - which has all too often been the case in places like Ramat Bet Shemesh, Beitar, and Meah Shearim. When these Kannaim are consumed with issues pertaining to sexual matters such as Tznius, it is very likely the case that they are themselves obsessed with it.

As such the following statement rings very true:

I am convinced that there is a direct link between violent kanoim, people who threaten and bully others, and abusers. Abuse 101 is that molestation is not as much about the immoral act but about control and bullying.

This is a direct quote from Rabbi Yakov Horowitz on his website. He was attacked in insulting ways much the same way I have been for expressing views on controversial topics. Here is just one example:

It is galling that he shamelessly piggybacks on the hard work of others in order to self promote… Shame is a well established Jewish trait. Rabbi Horowitz seems to lack this fundamental characteristic of a true Jew.

This morning Rabbi Yakov Horowitz responded to commenters who make comments like this. He did so deep in his own comments section. But I think it deserves a lot more exposure than that. So I am posting his comment in its entirety as a guest post.

Guest Post by Rabbi Yakov Horowitz

I just returned home from a whirlwind 3-day trip to Dallas which left me almost no time to read comments posted. Here are some random thoughts, very quickly typed:

1) This give and take re shabbos posting, which rov I ask my halcha sheilos re the internet to, which rov is about to silence me, et al, must be – and certainly is – the ultimate insult and poured salt on terrible wounds of long-suffering abuse victims who have not had the forum to discuss their pain in our community until now. To distract from the searing posts of sad mom and others with these non-issues is downright criminal. Even if a reader wanted to question or challenge me on these issues; I suggest that this thread was not the place for it.

2) The point that was raised about the posting of names of people accused of abuse was one I already addressed. And the posting of the name of a gadol who is the leader of thousands of Chassidim worldwide in the context of accusing him of aiding a molestor is absolutely wrong. Period. Exclamation point. And again I ask our readers to use the ‘Report This Post’ feature to delete any such comments

3) I will completely ignore the intimidation and not-so-veiled threats made against me. if any rov wants to contact me, my phone number is listed in the phone book. I do not think these threats should be deleted from the site because they shed some light into understanding how predators like mondrowitz were able to rape and sodomize our children (on shabbos and during the week) for decades – because we have allowed this type of intimidation by kanoim and askonim to continue. Much more on this later, as I am convinced that there is a direct link between violent kanoim, people who threaten and bully others, and abusers.

Abuse 101 is that molestation is not as much about the immoral act but about control and bullying. If you read the posts of the fellow who is threatening me, you will see the classic pattern of an abuser. This has little to do with the kavod of the gadol he is purportedly defending, as that could have been resolved with polite comments – or he could have simply ‘reported the post’. Rather, the one who is threatening me is obviously worried about my stand on abuse and wants to silence me. makes you wonder, doesn’t it …