There are many serious problems plaguing Jewry these days. Do you have fertility problems? Are your kids going OTD? Have you invested your life savings in a questionable hedge fund? Do you have a kid who has flipped out after their year in Israel? Have you been arrested and can’t make bail? ...and can’t get Chalav Yisroel products while awaiting trial? Do you have a serious life threatening illness? Do you have a hard time finding Kosher cheese curls?
Well I have a Segulah for you. This one really works. It is the Segulah of the Heilge Rebbe Reb Shmelke Choizikmachen of blessed memory. I saw it in obscure Sefer of his that I found under the back porch of the Cairo Geniza during a game of tag with my grandchildren.
Satisfaction is guaranteed.
Here is what you have to do. You make out a cashier’s check to me, Harry Maryles, in the amount of $180.00. No more and no less. Mail it to me. Once deposited my brother in law will put your name on his list and say Tehilim (Psalm 20) every week-day between Ashrei and U’VaL’Tzion at Shachris (except on days when Tachnun is not said - Al Pi Nusach Ari) – For the rest of his life! (Let’see Kupat Ha’ir beat that one. 40 days? Big deal!).
This Segula works for many things. If you’ve been arrested for extortion or fraud, send me your money. If you’ve committed adultery, or murder, or if you worshiped foreign gods send me your money. Results guaranteed. (Although not necessarily the results you want. For that you have to pay extra!)
This Segula has the endorsement of every Gadol in the world. R’ Chaim Kanievsky (pictured above) is quoted as saying, OMG! I can't believe it! This Segulah really works!
Do not hesitate. Time is of the essence. My bookie said he is not going to wait forever. So Please - Do it now! I really mean it.
Signatures upon request.