No matter how many times I read about it I am nevertheless amazed each time I do. Perhaps even shocked.
Mrs. Bracha Goetz hit another home run a couple of week's ago with an article in the Jewish Press. Mrs. Goetz is a doer, not just a talker. She is active in many community organizations that benefit Klal Yisroel, not the least of which is Jewish Board of Advocates for Children, an advocacy group dealing with child sex abuse. She is one of my heroes (heroines?).
In this article she writes about the progress the Orthodox Jewish world is making on issues often dealt with here - including the addictions of viewing inappropriate images, cheating on taxes, engaging in corrupt business deals and the most murderous of all, abuse.
She begins by praising an organization called Gaurd Your Eyes founded 3 years ago with the help of Rabbi Dr. Abraham Twersky. This organization recently made a presentation to Roshei Yeshiva at Torah U’mesorah which encouraged the distribution of its handbook to all teachers in the system.
This handbook as the name of the organization suggests deals with addictions to internet porn and like activities. It contains several testimonials. I should be used to these kinds of stories by now but I’m not. The following testimonial is what took me aback:
"I am a rov, posek, Magid Shiur and mechaber sfarim. I have many talmidim. I have been- unsuccessfully- battling this problem for at least 40 years. I read thoroughly the GYE handbook and would like to make the author my Rebbe. 'K'mayim karim al nefesh ayefoh,"this masterpiece has re-instilled a hope within me that maybe I can really be what my talmidim think I am. I pour out my heart to the Aibishter that one day I'll be able to help you rather than enlisting your help. I wish there were words to convey the magnitude of my bracha to you, for your hatzlacha is the hatzlacha of Klal Yisrael. You might wonder why I find it necessary to disclose my status, given that it might cause disgrace or embarrassment for those who truly deserve the title of rebbe or talmid chacham. Please understand that my intention is to help people realize that no one is immune, but teshuvah is possible for everyone as well."
Why am I not jaded by reports like these? I should be. I have after all seen so many articles about religious Jews of high accomplishment who have fallen: a modern Orthodox rabbi who has a successful Shul despite his atheism; a religious Zionist icon who has been accused of sex abuse of his students; a religious Sephardi Israeli president convicted of rape; a Charedi Posek who is an atheist; an article by Charedi day school principal who served time in prison for accessing kiddie porn; articles about a Chasidic Rebbe and a Sephardi rabbinic leader who were guilty of laundering money; and so much more!
Why should this admission of porn addiction by a man of such high accomplishment surprise me? I guess I just tend to believe that when someone is a Rov, Posek, Magid Shiur and Mechaber Sefarim and has many Talmidim to boot, that he is who he appears to be. But obviously his addiction to porn says something else.
I have no clue who this individual is, but I give him credit for coming forward, albeit anonymously. He has indeed performed a service, not only in telling us how much this handbook helped him but by the very admission that even a religious man who is as accomplished as he is can be a victim.
It makes me wonder though, just how many there are like him? And how high up the ladder of success as Jewish religious leaders they are. How prominent are they as rabbinic leaders? I guess we will never know the answer to that. As long as they keep their porn addiction to themselves, their chances of being caught are very limited. Remember that porn addiction by the above Rav and Posek has been going on for at least 40 years. He is not a young man. He is probably well respected and perhaps even well known despite his closet addictions.
In my view we are only scratching the surface of a real problem. One that has until recently been swept under the carpet – right along with other communal maladies. Until the explosive expose about what went on in a Flatbush Yeshiva the operative word about child sex abuse was denial. I think we have turned the corner on that. But how many religious people are there that access porn daily in their lives and no one is the wiser? And how many of those ‘graduate’ from viewing things like kiddie porn to acting on their abnormal desires with innocent children?
At any rate, I’m glad that Rabbi Dr. Twersky has once again shown what kind of greatness he has. He is not afraid to deal with this subject and has tackled it head on in an honest and non judgmental way – dealing with the underlying problems and not haranguing people with the Issurim involved. We all know that viewing porn is Assur. Repeated haranguing by rabbinic leaders or internet bans probably have the opposite effect. Fire and brimstone just doesn’t work anymore. Rabbi Dr. Twersky is on the right track.
He says that he is not a Gadol and he defers to Gedolim when his own opinion differs from theirs. I would have to disagree with him. He is a Gadol. He is a Yorei Shamayim, a God fearing Jew who is an expert in his field of psychiatry. He is a Talmid Chacham and an Anav - a very modest man. But most of all he is an Ohaiv Yisroel. He loves his fellow Jew. And he has probably saved more souls than many of those who do have the title ‘Gadol’. My hat is off to him.
