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| Rabbi Yosef Gavriel Bechhofer |
I received the following comment to my last post from Rabbi Yosef Gavriel
Bechhofer:
RYH's article a) Is worthless, since an anonymous posek is no better than no posek at all. b) If anything, leads to the conclusion that the secular courts should be the arbiters of custody/visitation determinations, since they are better equipped than our resources to handle these issues. c) Leads, accordingly, to the conclusion that once a secular court has issued a ruling, a recalcitrant husband has no right - even according to Mr. Anonymous Posek - to withhold a get. QED.
I see his point, and the point many others are making. As
bad as false accusations are, there are other false accusations that are just
as bad. Or almost as bad.I am rethinking this whole question. Someone else who I respect wrote me
a personal e-mail saying that there are many more ways that a unscrupulous wife
can do damage to a husband that does not include false accusations of sex abuse so
why allow only that line to be drawn in the sand?
I agree. Where do you draw the line as to what warrants a
Get? Ein L'Davar Sof. The Get then becomes a weapon… and we are back to
square one. So as bad as any accusation might be, the Get should not be part of
any solution. Yes, the husband has every right to be angry, have his name
cleared and revisit the custody arrangement if it was based on a falsehood about him. But he should do that without threatening not to give a Get. As others
have said, this is a devastatingly unfair advantage a man has over a woman and
should never be used.
