Is it real? |
Virtually all Orthodox Jews and many non Orthodox Jews know that
most Orthodox Jewish women cover their hair after they are married. I have discussed this issue many times in the
past. Briefly the Halacha is as follows. There are 2 parts to hair covering:
Das Moshe and Das Yehudis.
Das Moshe is the term used in Halacha to connote that which
is the immutable Halacha transmitted to us via Moshe Rabbeinu. That is
inviolable. The requirement of Das Moshe is for a married woman to cover
most of her hair.
Das Yehudis is the term that refers to a custom of modesty for women that is accepted by a predominance of them in a given society. If a woman transgresses one of these customs, she is liable for the transgression of Das Yehudis, a Halacha that is relative to community standards.
Das Yehudis is the term that refers to a custom of modesty for women that is accepted by a predominance of them in a given society. If a woman transgresses one of these customs, she is liable for the transgression of Das Yehudis, a Halacha that is relative to community standards.
There has been much written about this practice in Halacha.
Suffice it to say that, the vast majority of Poskim believe that a married
woman must cover at least most of her hair.
How to do that is another question. That’s where this
article by Rivkah Slonim comes in. She promotes the view of the late Rebbe of
Lubavitch that women must cover all of their hair but may do so by using a wig.
To the best of my knowledge he did not limit what kind of wigs a woman may use.
More about that later. (There are Poskim that forbid the use of a wig,
but that is beyond the scope of this post.)
I have always had trouble understanding this entire concept.
Please understand that I am not God forbid promoting the idea that it is
permitted for married woman not cover their hair. As I said the Halacha is
pretty clear, despite attempts by some to be Dan L’Kav Zechus (judge favorably) those Modern Orthodox women
that do not cover it.
But that does not make my understanding of it any less
difficult - for the following reasons.
First - It is a derived Halacha and not explicitly stated in
the Torah. It is taken from the procedure of the Sotah (a woman suspected of
adultery after being secluded with another man) where the Torah requires Beis
Din to reveal her hair. By dint of the requirement it was derived that women
are supposed to cover their hair or else why would they be asked to uncover it.
Many Torah level laws are derived in similar ways and are not explicitly written
in the Torah.
But it is the contradictory nature of the concept of
Sair B’Isha Erva (the hair of a woman is considered her nakedness) that perplexes me. That concept
only applies to married women. Single women do not have to cover their hair at
all, no matter what their age. The same woman who 5 minutes before she gets
married may walk around with all of her hair exposed, is forbidden from doing
so the minute she gets married… and forever after that.
I think this conundrum and the fact that general societal
attitudes about hair covering changed are in part the reasons so many religious
women in the great Jewish community of Lithuania in Europe chose to abandon
covering their hair. Rav Yechiel Michel Epstein makes note of that abandonment
of hair covering in his magnum opus, the Aruch HaShulchan.
If a woman’s hair equals nakedness, then there can be
no other conclusion but to say that the nakedness of hair is not the same as the
nakedness of skin. Because if it did, why
must only married woman cover their hair? So the words Sair B’Isha Erva remain
a complete mystery as to what they actually mean.
What moved me to write about this issue again (aside from
the referenced article) is the way hair covering is treated today in the more right wing segments of the Charedi world. Especially in Israel. I can’t help but notice that young single girls in that world go
out of their way to avoid styling their hair. Most Charedi elementary and high
school girls tend toward tying their hair up in pony tails or cutting it very
short. I assume this is done as some sort of nod the the Sair B’Isha Erva
concept even in singlehood – and avoiding any attention from men
But what happens is that once these young women get married,
they go through a metamorphosis. The high end custom Shaitels (wigs) of today
are so real looking and so attractive, that in many cases you cannot tell they
are wigs. I have heard more than once a young married woman say that her real
hair never looked that good… and she couldn’t get it to look that way no matter
how much she tried.
Which to me seems like the opposite of the intent of what
young woman are supposed to look like before and after they are married. Because
here is the net result of this phenomenon in the Charedi world. When women are
supposed to look good for a potential mate, they are told to pretty much
hide their hair and not style it too attractively. But as soon as they get
married, and they cover their hair, they start to look stunningly beautiful…
never having looked anything like that before they were married.
So in essence they end up being more attractive after they
are married than before when they were dating. Does’t this turn the intent of hair covering
on its head?
I believe that there are some Poskim that have forbidden
these kinds of wigs for married women based on the very concerns I have just mentioned.
So I understand where they are coming from. But I do not believe that there is any kind of enforcement of it. Besides - I am in favor or people looking
their best in public. Since hair covering as Erva has always been such a conundrum, in my view all anyone should be concerned with is the letter of the law in this matter. As long as that is honored, I am in
favor of any kind of hair covering one chooses.
What
about the inconsistency of how Charedim practice this custom? I suggest that
they allow – and perhaps even encourage single women to look their best and
style their hair any way they choose. This way when they do get married there
won’t be such a shocking change in how they look.