Social Narcissism and Accusations of Sex Abuse

Yeshivat Har Etzion Rosh Yeshiva, Rabbi Yaakov Medan (Jerusalem Post)

Sexual abuse in the world of Orthodox Jewry seems to have declined over the last few years. But it has not gone away. I wonder whether this apparent decline reflects a real reduction of incidents, or whether it is more a function of the continued reluctance of survivors to report abuse. Either way, sexual abuse has not disappeared, as demonstrated by a recent news story in The Jerusalem Post.

A Berlin district court has found a rabbi guilty of “sexual assault and sexual coercion by exploiting a moment of surprise,” a misdemeanor under German law.

The criminal case was brought by the Berlin public prosecutor and by one of multiple women who have accused the rabbi of a range of sexual abuses dating back almost two decades…

The co-plaintiff and two witnesses were among 17 women who testified against the rabbi in July 2023 before an Orthodox Jewish court, a beit din, in Germany. That court ruled that the defendant was unfit to serve in any clerical role, including as a ritual circumciser, Torah scribe, and kashrut supervisor.

This rabbi sexually abused women for nearly twenty years before justice was finally served. I suspect that the perceived downturn in abuse cases is not because it happens less often, but because survivors remain reluctant to report it. That reluctance is as strong as ever -for understandable reasons. But it ends with a gross miscarriage of justice.

This point was driven home for me by Rabbi Yaakov Medan, co-head of Yeshivat Har Etzion. The Jerusalem Post recently reported on a warning he issued about the dangers of what he calls “social narcissism,” which he says can lead to what he describes as ritualized sexual abuse of minors carried out under the guise of religious or social ceremonies.

His point is that when people are led to believe that their particular social or religious group is beyond reproach, they will refuse to believe that anyone who belongs to it - especially someone viewed as a leader - could ever be involved in such acts. I am not entirely sure what Rabbi Medan means by “ritualized sexual abuse,” but the phrase is chilling. In a religious setting, the victim is not only abused, but may also be manipulated by an abuser perceived religious authority - into believing that what is happening is acceptable, meaningful, or even holy. I can think of few things more insidious than exploiting a young person’s faith to satisfy one’s own sexual perversion...

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