The Science of Chutzpah

Image for illustration purposes (Mishpacha)

Many years ago, a dear friend of mine, who happened to be the general studies principal of a Charedi yeshiva high school, confided in me about the shocking pattern of behavior he observed on the part of his students. These young men had all the requisite respect - even awe - that one would expect Bnei Torah to show their Limudei Kodesh (religious studies) teachers. But they had absolutely no respect whatsoever for their Limudei Chol (general studies) teachers, most of whom were not even Jewish. They would often ridicule them to their faces.

I am no longer shocked by such behavior on the part of Charedi students. It is, unfortunately, an all-too-typical consequence of the messaging young people receive from their religious teachers. Which is to view anything secular with complete contempt. The corollary is that they come to treat those who live in that culture with the same disdain.

Thus, ridiculing them to their faces becomes a natural outcome of this kind of messaging. I have heard recordings of lectures by Charedi religious studies teachers that so thoroughly vilify the secular world that it becomes de rigueur for students to treat anything - or anyone - connected with it accordingly.

When I’ve brought this up to some of my Charedi friends - I got pushback. They insist that this is not how most of their students behave. They argue that the Yeshiva where my friend served as general studies principal was the exception that proves the rule.

Well, it appears that this kind of behavior is not an exception at all. It is, indeed, a function of the kind of messages students receive from their religious teachers. In a rare moment of candor, this was acknowledged by Rabbi Avrohom Neuberger, a popular Charedi Mechanech (educator) in Mishpacha Magazine. It was in response to a letter by a Charedi parent expressing the following concern:

Our son Shloimy is in sixth grade. He’s a good kid, really. He generally behaves well, and his academic performance is on par. But even at his age, we’ve begun to notice traces of chutzpah. Interestingly, it’s not directed at us—it’s reflected sporadically in the most unexpected situations.

For example, on Chol Hamoed we went to the zoo. There was a performance in which one of the zookeepers entered the lion’s den. Before he walked in, he said, “Watch out, I may not come out alive!”

And Shloimy shouted out, “If you don’t, can I have your watch?”

My wife and I were horrified.

The parent goes on to contrast his son’s behavior with that of students at a Modern Orthodox school, whose conduct in situations like this was respectful. He wondered whether he should transfer his son to that school.

Rabbi Neuberger advises strongly against doing so. For good reason, in my view. But that is beyond the scope of this post. What is definitely within its scope is his explanation for this phenomenon, and, amazingly, his concession that it is indeed a function of the kind of education Charedi students receive. His explanation closely mirrors my own…

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