A Word about Sarah Palin

Mrs. Palin has just released her biography and is now on a book tour promoting her book Going Rogue.

When she was announced by the McCain campaign as the Republican Vice Presidential candidate, I thought is was a stroke of genius at the time. She truly energized the conservative base of that party - a vital segment that was pretty unhappy with the moderate McCain. Indeed her introduction to America was pretty amazing. I contrasted her with the verbose and boring technocrat Biden - a policy wonk if there ever was one.

That announcement - if I recall correctly - gave the McCain campaign a nice bump in the polls. As did her speech at the RNC convention.

But then something strange happened. Sarah Palin went from being the star of the McCain campaign to becoming a liability. At first she was kept from the media. Questions were being raised about her true competence. Why was she hiding from the media? Once made available to a couple of high profile news anchors she performed very poorly – looking quite ignorant if not outright stupid. And then the campaign held her back some more – denying her any chance to redeem herself.

Never one to miss an opportunity to bash conservatives and looking for material for their show, the writers of Saturday Night Live (SNL) started parodying her ‘ Alaskan accented’ English and mimicking her poor performances in the media magnifying those terrible interviews and making her seem truly dumb, ignorant and backward.

She was the perfect foil for them. Tina Fey, the comedienne/actress who portrayed her on the show did an excellent job of making her look as stupid and incompetent as possible – a virtual clown of a candidate! SNL's past portrayals of former President Bush as a buffoon paled in comparison. Those Palin skits were so popular that SNL’s ratings went through the roof. So they parodied her every week - each time reinforcing her image as a backward ignoramus. Those skits were very funny. But they were a lie.

But that is the image that remained with the public. Reinforced time and again by other comedians like Leno and Letterman who made similar jokes about her. When people saw Sarah Palin they could not help but think of Tina Fey’s parody of her. After that no one took her seriously anymore and considered her a big liability for the campaign. Perhaps she was – although that isn’t the reason the McCain campaign lost the election. That is a whole other post.

She was a liability - not because she was stupid or ignorant. She was a liability because of how she was portrayed in the media. That was the way people saw her. When ‘the man (or woman) in the street’ was asked about whether she was capable of being President the answer was invariably, no. Why? Because when they saw Sarah Palin - they thought Tina Fey.

But Sarah Plain is not stupid. She is in fact quite intelligent. Her knowledge of foreign affairs is not as Tina Fey portrayed it - with the now famous line ‘You can see Russia from here’ . That was a parody of an answer Mrs. Palin gave to a question about her experience in foreign affairs as governor of Alaska. Her answer was that that one should not overlook the fact that Russia is in close proximity to her state and that had implications of security, energy, and commerce.

Which brings me to her views on Israel. She was recently interviewed by Barbara Walters on ABC News. She was asked about what she thought of the President’s policy with respect to Israeli settlements on the West Bank. Here was her answer:

I disagree with the Obama administration on that," Palin told Walters. "I believe that the Jewish settlements should be allowed to be expanded upon, because that population of Israel is, is going to grow. More and more Jewish people will be flocking to Israel in the days and weeks and months ahead. And I don't think that the Obama administration has any right to tell Israel that the Jewish settlements cannot expand.

The segment where she said this can be seen below.

This is the kind of President I wish we had. One who clearly holds poistions that are in the best interests of Israel. One who sees Israel’s interests as coinciding with US interests. She is right. No foreign government has the right to tell any sovereign nation how to settle within its own borders. Certainly not when issues of national security are involved.

That said, I will admit that I still think Israel ought to pay attention to what the Obama administration says. He is the President now. Not that it has to capitulate to his every demand, but that it is wise to try and be as close to the US position as possible on every issue that does not threaten its security. I’m not sure how close Israel and the US positions are right now. There are mixed messages coming out of both quarters.

But I would have loved to see a President like Mrs. Palin take who takes the stand on this issue that she does. That would have given Israel far more leeway to do things the way it sees fit.

How smart is Sarah Palin? I don’t know but given the chance I think she would do just as well as President Obama has so far – which isn’t really saying that much.

I don’t know if she will run for President. Her image may be irreversibly tarnished. But one thing I do know is that she is a lot smarter than she is given credit for and a highly principled woman.

Abuse Survivors: Please Do Not Suffer Alone

By: Dr. Benzion Twerski and Rabbi Yakov Horowitz

The Motti Borger tragedy haunts us all. I have devoted two blog posts to it. Much of what is written in the following essay I have either directly stated or alluded to. The issues this tragedy raises are of vital importance to the Jewish community. Therefore as a public service, without further comment, and with full permission from the Jewish Press and Rabbis Horowitz and Twersky- I present it in full. It will appear in next week’s Jewish Press.

In recent days, reports have circulated in the media and on the Internet about the tragic early passing of yet another young man in our community. Those reports indicate that the trauma of childhood abuse followed him and complicated his adult life to the point that it impinge of the quality of his personal relationships.

It is not the intent of these lines to substantiate these reports nor is it to dismiss them. Rather, we wish to use the opportunity presented by this horrible calamity and the dialogue it has created on the Internet and in the street to once again loudly and forcefully reiterate the message we have been projecting for many years to victims of abuse – “Please reach out for help and do not suffer alone.”

For even in the event that the facts as reported in this particular tragedy are not accurate, they are most certainly consistent with the pattern we have unfortunately seen over and over again where victims of childhood abuse go through unspeakable agony as they attempt to singlehandedly deal with the toxic aftereffects of the trauma they suffered in their formative years. We have each encountered numerous instances where untreated childhood abuse follows victims into adulthood shredding their marriages and rendering them often incapable of entering into a loving and intimate relationship with their spouse until a trained mental health professional helps them sort things out. We have each been intimately involved with more than a few childhood abuse victims who became addicted to heroin and/or cocaine in an unsuccessful attempt to wash away the searing pain of their trauma. We have each paid more than a few shiva calls to families of abuse victims who years and even decades later took their own lives.

There are a number of reasons why abuse victims would not avail themselves of intervention and assistance. Some are understandably reluctant or frightened to share the facts of their abuse with others. Others who did have the courage to confide in adults in their lives are encouraged or intimidated into remaining silent – especially if the perpetrator is a respected individual or a close family member. This sends a horrible message to the victim – that he or she has done something that cannot see the light of day. The result is a that a never-ending video loop now plays in the mind of the victim as societal pressure abuses them again and again by forcing them to remain silent and unsupported.

There are many events that simultaneously involve more than one “system.” For example, when one gets arrested for driving under the influence which caused injuries or death, there are criminal penalties for drunk driving and financial reparations due for the damages caused. However, neither of these tracks deal with the fact that the perpetrator has a drinking problem. Courts realize they cannot treat alcoholism, as revoking licenses, impounding cars, and even jail terms will not prevent recidivism – especially if treatment is warranted but not followed.

Various efforts have been undertaken in recent years – all of which are necessary – in the arenas of prevention, education, training, and the need for reporting. And we both have proudly participated in many of them. However, despite the fact that these initiatives and the awareness they generate are often soothing to past abuse victims, none of these help them regain their footing. Only therapy by a licensed and trained professional can accomplish that.

We are therefore reaching out to anyone who was ever abused or molested in their childhood years and begging you to please do yourselves the ultimate favor and get help.

Therapy may not solve all issues in your life, but it will do much to make your future brighter and filled with greater promise. In fact, many survivors thrive and build beautiful lives for themselves and their families following successful treatment.

It may be true that some people are resilient and survive with little apparent damage (apparent is the operative word). However, this is not the norm, and with the dangers involved, we would not recommend that you even risk small chances. So; for your sake and for the sake of your spouse and children, please, please get help.

This may mean several things:

Contact a mental health professional who is experienced in counseling trauma victims. (I strongly feel that well-intentioned individuals like me who do not have professional training in abuse treatment are not equipped to deal with these issues and should limit our involvement to supporting the efforts of the professionals and steering those who seek our guidance in these matters directly to them. Y.H.)

Get information about trauma and its effects.

Connect with other victims/survivors. The camaraderie and support are invaluable.

We strongly suggest that you ignore those who inform you that getting married and starting a family will help you “Get over it.” Experience has taught us that it will often complicate things rather than heal them.

Please, please do not suffer alone. Reach out for help today.

In closing, we offer you our sincere and heartfelt bracha that Hashem grant you menuchas hanefesh and simchas hachayim (tranquility and joy) in your lives.

Rubashkin - What Would the Steipler Say?

There are a lot of people who are upset at those of us who refuse to defend a religious Jew who was convicted of financial wrong doing. Sholom Rubashkin is being seen by many as a victim of anti-Semitism. The justifications for this attitude are varied and many. Among them:

*He was piled on by splitting hairs in each count -one act was divided into multiple violations of the law.
*He was only guilty of technical violations.
*He didn’t realize what he was doing was illegal.
*He is an honest businessman who was a bit disorganized - just trying to keep his business afloat.
*What he did was not really a crime because the bank knew what he was doing and went ahead with it.
*He is a great humanitarian - A real Baal Chesed and Baal Tzedaka. Not the monster he was portrayed as by the prosecution.

At the very least we should beg for mercy for a fellow Jew who is basically a good man with a family to consider. He does not deserve the kind of punishment he will surely get. And on and on.

The question remains, what should our attitude be? Should we be actively seeking to reduce his sentence or seek leniency? Should we continue to characterize this as a miscarriage of justice? Or even the act of an anti-Semitic government out to get the Jews - especially bearded ones?

Do we scream at the top of our lungs: ‘Blood Libel? And try and re-establish his good name while calling those who say otherwise ‘self hating Jews’? Do we accuse those who see justice done here of the worst possible motives and call them the worst kinds of names?

Perhaps we can all use some help here. A good place to go for help in answering these questions is to the Gedolim of the past and see just what they think ought to be done in cases like this one.

Rabbi Daniel Eidensohn sent an excerpt from one of his blogposts to an e-mail list in which we both belong. He has graciously allowed me to quote it. For those who don’t know who this man is he has authored two monumental works found in Jewish homes and Baatei Midrash across the globe: Yad Moshe and Yad Yisroel. These volumes are indexes to the Teshuvos of both the Chafetz Chaim’s Mishna Beruruah and Rav Moshe Feinstein’s Igros Moshe.

Rabbi Eidensohn quotes from the memoirs of Rabbi Shlomo Lorenz who wrote about his intersection with the great Gedolim of the past. One segment deals with precisely the issue at hand. Here is what it said:

Steipler Rav (Within the Domain of Gedolei Torah Vol 2 page 557-560): The rav of Komemiyus, Rav Binyamin Mendelson approached Rav Shlomo Lorenz concerning someone who had committed a crime in the past.

Then he had been sentenced to a number of years of jail – but had been placed on probation and wasn’t imprisoned. However the person eventually committed the crime again and now was being tried a second time.

Rav Mendelson said that he knew this person and felt he deserved mercy - especially for his wife and children. Therefore he said there was an obligation to try to keep him out of jail - not only for the sake of his family - but because it was obvious that being in jail with hardened criminals would not serve to rehabilitate him. Therefore Rav Mendelson asked me to testify as a character witness at the trial to try and stop the jail sentence.

Rav Lorenz told him that while normally he would readily agree to whatever he asked. However in this case he knew that his testifying in court to aid a criminal would become public knowledge. This would cause a chilul HaShem because it would create the impression that the representative of the Torah world not only identified with the criminal but also offered him assistance. Therefore he told Rav Mendelson that he wanted to consult with the Steipler Rav before he did anything. Rav Mendelson agreed but requested that the Vishnitzer Rebbe also be consulted.

When Rav Lorenz told the story to the Steipler Rav, the Steipler screamed, “A Jew who sins and repeats that sin, it is better that he be punished in this world and not – G‑d forbid – in the World to Come.” He explained, “The punishment in this world is minor compared to what happens in the World to Come.

Furthermore if you succeed in stopping the jail sentence he will continue to repeatedly commit this crime. It is better that he receive his punishment and perhaps learn self‑restraint… In addition if I give you permission and you testify for his benefit it is obvious that every newspaper and all the public media will publicize the matter and it will also be a chilul HaShem when he sins again…”

Yes… those were true Gedolim. I don’t hear anyone saying these kinds of things today. The opposite is true. The more Charedi they are, the more sympathetic they are to Mr. Rubashkin. And by default less the less sympathetic they are to the Chilul HaShem that supporting him will cause.

There are those who say that we need to have sympathy for this man and his family and do whatever we can to help him avoid jail. I can fully understand that. But is that right? Not according to the Steipler.

Defining Charedim and Modern Orthodox Jews

An article in Ha’aretz really got me to thinking about how we define ourselves as Jews. The article asks the question specifically about Charedim. But I think it is fair to ask it about all of us. I will limit my remarks to two groups: Charedim and Modern Orthodox Jews. Nor should my views here be considered all inclusive. I am just expressing an impression that I have at this moment in time.

Let us first address Charedim. This was the subject of the Ha’aretz article. Who are they? What are they like? Are all Charedim equal? The answer to the last question is no. There are probably more differences among Charedim themselves than there among any other group. Ha’aretz makes these observations:

Who, in fact, is Haredi, a member of the ultra-Orthodox? Is it that fellow with the long side curls and a striped robe setting fire to trash cans, breaking reporters' bones and proudly declaring to a television camera that "every child born to me is revenge on the Zionists"? Are the Haredim those people from Beit Shemesh who a few weeks ago stoned a woman who was not modestly dressed, in their opinion, and almost killed her?

Maybe the Haredi is that thin, pale, shy young man walking in Bnei Brak, his eyes cast down, seeing nothing until he reaches the yeshiva, where he hides away until evening, poring over his books and barely remembering to eat or drink. Or maybe it's that portly Hasid walking along Tel Aviv's Rothschild Boulevard, pushing a stroller crammed with a baby and two toddlers, with a few more kids tagging along. Also on hand is his adolescent daughter wearing a long blue skirt, and at some distance, his wife, the mother of his children.

Or maybe they are the students at Kiryat Ono Academic College, who will be lawyers and accountants, or maybe the young woman who will be the treasurer of the Bnei Brak municipality, or MA students at Harvard University, or owners and staff at a Glatt kosher restaurant in Herzliya Pituah. And maybe they're the Chabadniks in their mitzvah tank, who light Shabbat candles in the heart of Tel Aviv.

What seems obvious from this is that there are light years of difference between one extreme and the other . Charedim can be virtual Taliban-like terrorists but they can be also be non violent productive participants in the broader society. So what puts these two virtual opposites in the same boat?

It is their devotion to a common singular concept. Fear of Heaven.

The word Charedi comes from the word Chareid – which means to tremble. Charedim tremble with awe before the Almighty. They therefore pay attention only to God and His Torah. That occupies their entire thinking. They tend to therefore reject modernity whenever they can.

Charedim tend to see the world in more or less black and white terms. Good and evil. So both the Meah Shearim extremist and the Charedi professional will look at a secular value in the same way. If it is not in the Torah it has no intrinsic value. To the extent that some will be involved at all in the secular world is to the extent they see it as necessary for their existence – mostly for Parnassa – or livelihood purposes.

There are of course differences in how far one will tread into the secular world for even that purpose which can in part explain why some Charedim become professionals and others do not. But the attitude is the same. Stay out of the general culture as much as possible and focus everything on the spiritual and fearing God.

The focus on the spiritual is the primary reason so many of them want to stay in learning. They see learning the word of God through His written Torah and its accompanying oral tradition as the highest calling of man. They are willing to sacrifice much of their material welfare for it. That kind of devotion results in a great number of them dedicating their entire adult lives to learning Torah.

These Charedim are perhaps the hardest working people on earth. And their work bears fruit. They know a lot of Torah. One would have to be blind, deaf, and dumb not to see the dedication of those sincere Charedim who learn full time and are doing it L’Shma. When entering the Beis HaMedrash at Yeshivas Mir one can feel that dedication. It is in the air. The level of Torah learning of the Charedi who learns there is the highest of high and has the broadest of scope.

The Hasmada – dedication to the ideal of learning Torah and the determination to know Torah is incomparable. No other stream of Orthodoxy can match it. When one experiences a Yeshiva like Mir and sees 5000 young men poring over the Talmudic texts and its commentaries, one can only experience envy. I envy their dedication and the knowledge they seek to attain - and do attain.

I have of course criticized Charedim for the vast numbers who do this for too long. There are far too many – perhaps even the majority – who should not be doing this full time for too long after marriage. But that is a separate issue. No one can deny the dedication of the vast majority of them. (Yes I know there are fakers there too – but I’m not talking about them.)

That I believe that many of them need to prepare for jobs and eventually get them is a separate issue too. So too is the poverty factor that is prevalent among them. The point here is that they are sincere and dedicated Jews who see their task in life as Godly. Their wisdom is firmly based on an awe of God. And they thus fear sin.

That is the common denominator. Charedim see only Torah and nothing else.

Modern Orthodox Jews are as completely observant as their Charedi counterparts. (Yes I know there are exceptions but Charedim have them too.)But they also believe that Torah does not forbid - and even encourages - participation in the modern world. Modern Orthodox Jews do not tremble before God. This does not mean they aren’t Yirei Shamyim or God fearing. They certainly are. But they do not focus on the trembling.

They focus on being the best Jew they can be without trembling. And to the extent they choose to participate in the general culture they do it in permissible ways that do not violate Halacha. The attitude is that God gave us a world to enjoy and told us how to do it (by following Halacha). One need not fear the world and may indeed embrace it.

Modern Orthodox Jews believe in learning Torah too. And they certainly have their share of Masmidim - people who spend the vast majority of their time learning Torah. But their dedication to Torah learning is not the same as the Charedi dedication. You will not see a Modern Orthodox Mir.

You will of course see a Yeshiva University Beis HaMedrash full of students learning diligently for many hours. The Kol Torah coming out of there is pretty strong. The Beis Hamedrash is rarely empty – just like a Charedi Beis HaMedrash. But it is not the Mir - or any other Charedi yeshiva like it. Yeshiva University believes in Torah U’Mada. That means that the entirety of the day is not spent learning Torah. A good part of it is spent on Mada.

Obviously I’m not saying that is a bad thing. Being an adherent of Torah U’Mada myself I strongly endorse this approach. I think this approach makes one a better Jew. But I fully admit that that the level of pure devotion to Torah learning is not the same as it is in a Yeshiva like the Mir. And that is something to be admired.

Workshops or Ethics?

Yeshiva World News reports that the community of Lakewood held a workshop on how to do things legally:

For three hours, a prestigious panel of legal and accounting experts offered observations and comments on a hypothetical scenario that brought to life principles of criminal law and banking/regulatory law, as well as accounting and not-for-profit issues addressed by both state and federal law.

Or as the Spinka Rebbe put it a few moths ago, how to be in compliance with the law when raising needed funds.

Many seemed to think that this workshop was a Kiddush HaShem. I do not. Although I do think it was unfortunately necessary in light of so many violations of law in matters of finance by Orthodox Jews.

What is sad about it is that it was needed at all. To quote the CEO of Lakewood Yeshiva, Rabbi Aaron Kotler – grandson of his illustrious namesake:

“I think all of us yearn for the day when being an Orthodox Jew would in and of itself be a bond and a guarantor of honesty and integrity.”

I think this statement sums up the sorry state of Orthodoxy. We yearn for a day that should be an integral part of every Jew. Obviously it is not.

Although Rabbi Kotler’s implication that Orthodox Jews are not looked as being honest and honorable - that is not necessarily the case. Most non Jews still see us as basically honest and honorable. But I certainly know where he is coming from. He understands quite clearly what all those financial crimes can mean to an on-looking world. And the perception will change if our behavior does not. They will come to easily see a Jew and think, ‘Madoff’, or ‘Spinka Rebbe’. Fortunately most Americans do not think that. Yet. Workshops like this will hopefully change things.

The question is what is lacking in our religious system of education that ends up requiring this kind of workshop? Why can we not recognize right from wrong on our own?

Part of the answer can be seen by the very nature of this workshop. It was not billed as one of Jewish ethics but one of compliance with the law. As if to say Jewish ethics do not meet the legal minimum standards of American law. Our standards are lower. We allow for some of the shenanigans that people were arrested for. It is only our ignorance of the law that is the problem - not our ethics.

In my view that is the wrong message. Rabbi Kotler’s words should be taken to heart as a way of understanding what our ethics should be and not what they apparently are.

It should not take a workshop about compliance with the law to achieve this. It takes an understanding of who we are and what we are supposed to represent. God wants us to be a light onto the nations. That does not just mean compliance with the law. It isn’t about learning what lines not to cross. It’s about not even dreaming of going anywhere near those lines. It’s about setting an example for the world with our behavior. It is - as Rabbi Kotler says - about the world seeing a Jew as a bond and a guarantor of honesty and integrity”.

Workshops on compliance will not teach us that. It has to be taught at the most basic level of Jewish education, starting in the home at the earliest age where a child learns by example and then in school all the way from kindergarten through high school and beyond. It is about teaching these values and parents and teachers being living examples of them.

It is apparent from the need for compliance workshops that this was not taught in many homes nor was it taught in many schools.

Either our educators took them for granted - or paid them no heed - or outright taught their students that is was OK to cheat and steal from Goyim if they could get away with it. I am sad to say that in some schools that was the message. For this latter group it is obvious why the focus is on compliance rather than ethics.

If we want people to see religious Jews as the paragons of virtue that God wants us to be we have to make certain that the curriculum of every single school in every category of the Orthodox Jewish world includes teaching ethical behavior.

As for those of us who are adults and no longer in school - we all ought to stop looking at how close we can come to violating the law without actually doing so. We ought to run as far away from that line as we can. It is only then that Rabbi Kotler’s yearnings will come to fruition - and honesty and integrity will become synonymous with Orthodoxy.

A Tragedy and the Lessons to be Learned

About a week ago I wrote a post about suicide and depression warning of its dangers if it goes untreated. That post was generated by the very unfortunate incident reported in a New York Post article last week. A young Orthodox Jew - married just 48 hours earlier had apparently jumped to his death.

At the time - expressing sensitivity to the bereaved - some criticized my writing about such a tragic event so close to its occurrence and questioned the accuracy of Post story. The parents had hardly begun grieving and there I was speculating about the cause. But I wrote about it because of the important message that story conveyed.

The truth is that I still have no idea about the hard facts of the death. I didn’t have any then and I don’t have any now. So what I am about to say should be seen in that light. Once again the message is too important to ignore. I base my comments on the latest New York Post story. I happen to believe that story is probably very close to being accurate. But – as I said – I have no way of knowing for sure. At this point there is no way of finding out.

According to the article there is some hard evidence of a serious problem although it is hardly conclusive of anything:

A security video at the hotel shows him looking "agitated" in an elevator with his wife…

The Post also reported the following:

A source familiar with the tragedy said Borger had confided in close relatives that he was molested while a teen attending a yeshiva, possibly by a rabbi, but they never went to police.

Again - I apologize to the family if any of this is hurtful to them. Of course the real hurt came when they were informed of his death. My words no matter how hurtful cannot surpass that pain. And if the information reported is false it should not be hurtful to them at all because none of what I write appies to them.

But as I said there are hard lessons to be learned here.

If the facts as represented in a story in the New York Post are true, then the tragedy is even greater. It makes what I wrote all the more true. However it adds a dimension that I did not address in my original post – that of sexual molestation.

According to Post sources the young man in question confided in his newly married wife the fact that he was sexually abused and that it he could not perform his marital obligations – ‘he couldn't go near her’.

This was obviously quite a shock to his new wife and she questioned why he married her in the first place. He admitted that he had been wrong not to divulge it and apparently became so despondent that at 6:45 the next morning he jumped to his death.

Thoughts of suicide are unfortunately a very common reaction to severe clinical depression. Many who suffer from it actually attempt it and some succeed. His depression was caused by sexual molestation. There can be no doubt that he was severely depressed – especially now.

To the rest of the world he was the picture of joy. That is often the nature of those who suffer from clinical depression - even to their closest friends. Depressed personalities are notoriously capable of hiding it from everyone. That’s why there is such disbelief and outraged by those who thought they knew him including the rabbi who spoke at his funeral and close friends.

The only ones who are aware of such things are those who live with them. Like parents or spouses. If the facts as reported in the Post are true then in this case, the parents apparently knew. But instead of having him treated (and with the best of intentions) they married him off. They probably believed that this change in his life would cure him of his problems.

If he was getting any psychiatric treatment - the mental health professional treating him should have never let him get married. He either received no treatment - or it was grossly incompetent. Or he was indeed advised by his therapist not to get married - but neither he nor his family listened. If that is true then the therapist was probably bound by professional ethics not to reveal this situation to anyone. If that is what happened I suppose that would absolve him of any culpability.

Is there any question any more about the necessity of reporting abuse to the police? Is there any question any more of seeking professional help? And making certain that they are not quacks or in other ways incompetent? And is there any question any more that worrying about ‘the shiddach’ is wrong thing to do when fearing therapy might make these things public?

Not in my mind!

Success That is Breeding Failure

Once again, Jonathan Rosenblum hits the nail on the head in an article published in Mishpacha Magazine and republished on Cross-Currents. Although I’m not sure he intended it this way - the message cannot be clearer. It is something I write about constantly. The system is broken.

I refer to the system of perhaps the largest and certainly one of the fastest growing segments of Orthodoxy: the right wing Yeshiva world of both Israel and America.

His focus is on Shiduchim and how that has evolved. Shiduchim in that world are chosen based on money. Money is perhaps the most important feature sought in a relationship. Midos? Intelligence? Parenting skills? Yes - of course they are important. But the focus has turned more towards money: How will a Yeshivishe family be supported?

The world of Yeshivos has evolved into one of the most successful enterprises in Jewish history - if success is defined as achieving one's goals. There are more men learning full time than ever. But that success is not without some very severe consequences.

Over the years the emphasis in Chinuch was constant and consistent. It was for men to learn full time and for women to seek those men as their ideal mates. As such women’s Chinuch has evolved into how to best accommodate that goal. Rich fathers in law are becoming scarce so the focus is on how to maximize incomes of women. They must find good jobs themselves so their husbands will be free to sit and learn full time for as long as possible.

So now instead of women looking for security by landing a husband who will provide a good income - it is the men looking for women who will do this. Women’s seminaries in Israel are now apparently geared toward that end.

No longer are they taught about the virtues of being a mother. That has become secondary to them – perhaps considered a given. They are taught the highest aspiration a woman can have is to find a husband who learns Torah full time – just as all men are taught that their highest aspiration is to sit and learn Torah full time and forgo making a living.

As Jonathan points out many of the seminaries in Israel have now even opened up vocational training centers for their students so they can be better prepared for their tasks as wives of Bnei Torah. Of course they stop short of offering them the kind of education that can produce higher incomes for fear of making them careerists. But that does not change the facts on the ground.

Traditional Jewish values have turned topsy turvy. Insteed of woman as mother raising children in the home, and husband as provider- women are now the providers. And men are increasingly taking over as caregivers for their children at home – supplementing daycare centers and baby sitters.

This is how upside down this community has become. Men who seek Shiduchim now look for women who will be good providers. I defy anyone to claim that this is God’s intent for His people!

Fortunately this situation has caused some backlash. Rabbis in that world are now turning to the sage advice of past giants like the Steipler Gaon. From the article:

Rabbi Y. Pfeuffer, a rav on the Beis Din of Sheiris Yisrael, began by quoting the Steipler Gaon to the effect that families should not incur debts in order to purchase apartments in Bnei Brak. When someone pointed out to him that the “shpitz” bochurim demand apartments in Bnei Brak or Jerusalem, the Steipler answered: “Klal Yisrael has never been built by ’shpitzim.’

Only those who learn with humility and without demands will emerge as talmidei chachamim. Nothing will come of those who make excessive demands.” The next speaker, Rabbi Yehoshua Ravitz, the Mashgiach of Yeshivas Beis Mattisiyahu, also decried the destruction of middos that comes from the desire to secure a “rich” shidduch.

In the A.M. Amitz story, an approach justified in the name of Torah ended up producing less Torah, with the husbands giving up their second seder in kollel to take care of the house.

I think they are right. Not that I don’t want those in learning to live well. I do. But that should not be a value or a goal for them. Those who seek money so as to live a certain standard are not the ones who will become future leaders. They will not become the next Steipler Gaon or Chazon Ish. They will just be another victim of the system whose children will become victims too. And there are lots of children.

Whether Jonathan realizes it or not, this article is an indictment of a failed system. Not the learning. That is a success. But in its ability to survive. It's not that the goal of learning full time is an unworthy goal. It is a very worthy goal for those who are capable of becoming future leaders of the Jewish people. It is to be encouraged for them. And there is room for many such leaders in every area of Jewish life.

But it is a failed system for the majority of it’s participants. One that has produced a topsy turvy world; one that is filled with poverty. One where large families guarantee an even more impoverished future if things continue as they are.

Although Jonathan doesn’t say so, the upshot of his article is that if one is truly interested in ‘living standards’ and ‘income’, one should change his goal from learning full time to eventually working full time. He must therefore prepare for that eventuality by getting an education that will enable it - whether it is college or vocational school. Because if that doesn’t change and men continue to be encouraged to learn full time as long as possible without any thought or preparation for the future that world may implode and come to an inglorious end.

Blood Libel or Justice?

The verdict is startling. Guilty on 86 of 91 counts of federal fraud. So said a unanimous jury of Shalom Rubashkin’s peers yesterday.

I am not here to pile on to this man’s travails. He is likely facing a very stiff price for his wrongdoing. And he still faces other charges on violations of immigration law. 72 counts. That trial is set for December. His attorney will appeal the verdict but as of now he has been taken into custody because he is considered a flight risk. A decision on bail will be made on November 18th.

Both he and his family seemed genuinely shocked by the verdict. I suppose that’s understandable. The entire family is now suffering. I can’t imagine what this has been like for someone who was on top of the world a few short years ago. He almost single handedly revitalized the town of Postville in Iowa. He was wealthy – had a reputation as a big philanthropist - a reputation for personal kindness - and the legitimate claim that his Kosher products were being distributed to far flung areas of the United States making it easier for Jews to buy kosher meat…. and at reasonable prices.

What happened?

We could in the past all speculate about his guilt or innocence about any of those charges. We can even now speculate about whether there was an overly zealous government investigation and prosecution. As we can even about Mr. Rubashkin simply not being aware that what he was doing was wrong. He still makes the claim that he is innocent even now after the verdict. Of course so do most people convicted of crimes. Prisons are full of them.

But I don’t think there can be too much doubt now about his actual guilt. The evidence was presented at trial – the jury looked at it and found him guilty. The best he can hope for is the mercy of the court.

I in fact feel bad for him now as he faces possible life imprisonment - from what I understand. That seems a little harsh. I tend to doubt that the verdict will be overturned on appeal. So I hope justice is tempered with mercy. But I do believe that the verdict was just.

I have already dealt with the massive Chilul HaShem aspect of this in the past. The evidence was indeed massive. All attempts to say otherwise are speculations from those trying to be Dan L’Kaf Zechus without knowing all the facts. They saw a religious Jew doing business and perhaps violating some minor laws - which everyone else violates and concluded that he was being unfairly targeted. They are trying to say he was railroaded either because he is a Jew or because of federal prosecutors were just over aggressive -trying to make a name for themselves. Well - maybe they were but that doesn’t lessen his guilt.

The jury had facts. There was a change of venue in order to avoid biases of jurors selected from a town that had fallen out of favor with him and his company. Jurors from another location found him guilty. Unless anti-Semitism can be proven the verdict was arrived at honestly. There is absolutely no reason to suspect anti-Semitism here.

Which brings me to the purpose of this post. Matzav.com calls it a blood libel - right in the title of its reactive post. The rest of the article treats him as though he was innocent and asks for donations and prayer on his behalf. I have no problem with personal donations or prayer. But I have a major issue with their attitude.

Blood Libel?!

Does Matzav think we still live in Czarist Russia? Do they not realize what they are saying? They think the government is so anti-Semitic that they are making up charges for the sole purpose of persecuting a Jew?!

What a sorry state of affairs when a website that supposedly represents Charedi thinking comes up with rhetoric like this! Is this the Charedi view of reality in this country? If it is, I don’t see how they can explain all the evidence to the contrary. I am not even going to attempt to list that evidence. It is enormous. Our acceptance as equals among men here is unprecedented in the history of the Jewish people.

We are more than accepted. We are admired. Yes there is unfortunately some stereotypical residue left from the past about what Jews look like and act like. But there is absolutely no argument about our integrity. Even though it should have come into question last year with all those misdeeds by religious Jews being reported in the media. Our reputation for integrity and honesty as a people is still intact.

If one Jew messes up, he messes up! Period. This is fortunately how the American people see this case. They do not generalize. Thank God. To scream blood libel here is an insult to the American people, to the the Rubashkin judge and jury, and an outrage to me!

Is it possible that all the jurors got it wrong? Sure - it’s possible. It’s always possible (although personally I doubt it in this case). I have to believe that in the vast majority of cases - jury verdicts of guilt or innocence are accurate. To call the verdict a blood libel is an insult to this country’s system of justice and by itself a major Chilul HaShem.

Matzav.com has blinders on to the truth. They feel that a jury of his peers MUST be wrong. It is impossible for the jury to be right about this great Jewish humanitarian. They entirely bought the defense's perspective on this case. What they apparently don’t realize is that they may be missing something from their perspective. It may just be possible that the image they see of this man is a facade. But in its zeal to protect a religious Jew from harm in what they see as an unfair process and verdict - Matzav.com has embarrassed itself. Big time!

Beam Me Up, Scotty

I never thought I would see anything like this on nationally broadcast television. But last night for the first time on CBS in a TV series entitled The Good Wife there was a drama involving an Eruv. Actually it was broadcast the night before but I watched a recording of it.

Briefly the plot was about a lawsuit by an individual who claimed she was injured by tripping over a fallen wire from a Tzuras HaPesach. The plaintiff claimed that this was a Bor B’Reshus Harabim and the owners of that Bor were Chaiv B’Nezikin. Asside from Tzaar (pain and suffering) and Ripui (medical expenses), they were seeking punitive damages - Boshes (shame and embarrassment) - in 7 figures.

Her Taaneh was that the owners should have repaired or removed that wire immediately. The defense maintained that as this happened on Shabbos and they were forbidden from doing anything about it as it violated Hilchos Shabbos. Of course Pikuach nefesh would have over-ridden this. But the Tzuras HaPesach in this case was not in anyone’s way. One would have to step out of the normal pathways to trip over it. The case was resolved in favor of the defendant when it was discovered the whole thing was a scam planned by the contractor/installer of the Tzuras HaPesach and his ‘victim’ accomplice.

There was also a little side story about a woman from a wealthy background who wound up becoming a Baalas Teshuva and marrying a Satmar-like Chasid. Her character was portrayed wearing a wig and cap as is the Satmar custom for married women. She ended up being Mechalel Shabbos by clandestinely making phone calls to her secular father on Friday nights. How that impacted on the case is part of the storyline. As an aside it was interesting how her husband reacted to that when he found out.

It was remarkable to see both the level of knowledge and research that went into this episode to make it somewhat believable. There was an explanation about the purpose of an Eruv - although incomplete - was pretty close to being accurate. It is truly amazing to what extent Orthodox Judaism has permeated into American mainstream culture.

That said this episode troubled me. Not because of any overt disrespect of Orthodox Jews. On the contrary. Orthodox Jews were portrayed very respectfully. That speaks volumes about our standing here in light of all the negative news about religious Jews last year – from Meah Shearim - to Brooklyn – to New Jersey – to Iowa – to Los Angeles – to Japan. There was no hint about any of that.

What bothered me is the perception of religious Jews as – well – weird. That is the only word that comes to mind when trying to think about what I saw. Yes, they were portrayed as devout and honorable. But not as normal. Aside from the caricature portrayal of Orthodox Jews, they made them stiff and lacking practically any human emotion. They were all about paying attention to the minutia of Halacha and had no other dimension to them. It was almost as though the actors portraying the lawyers were normal people and their Orthodox Jewish clients were abnormal ‘Spock’ like space aliens– dressed like Satmar Chasidim.

This is apparently the common perception of religious Jews by non Jews – or at least Hollywood. What makes this worse is that half of Hollywood is Jewish. But they are so assimilated that they have no clue about what Orthodox Jews are really like. Their Judaism has little Jewish content. Their lives are indistinguishable from their non Jewish neighbors.

I don’t blame them for this. Most of these Jews come from assimilated backgrounds and don’t really know any better. Their perspective is the same as that of non Jews. But it is no less disheartening for me that Orthodox Jews are never portrayed as normal.

And by normal I don’t mean Modern Orthodox who dress and look like any non Jew except for the Kipa. I mean even Chasidim. Just because they dress differently that doesn’t make them space aliens. They are as normal as anyone else. They have the same human emotions as everyone else. They are not Spock like aliens. But how would any Hollywood Jewish screen writer or director know that? They do not interact with religious Jews at all. They see us all as living cartoons.

It’s too bad. Not that this is an earth shattering problem for me. On the scale of important things to the Jewish people, this ranks pretty low. But just once, I’d like to see an Orthodox character portrayed as a normal human being. That’s going to take contact. Until that happens - beam me up, Scotty.

Widening the Chasm

There has been another meeting of EJF - Eternal Jewish Family - headed by Rabbi Leib Tropper. And if one reads the list of attendees, it’s almost a who’s who of right wing Orthodox rabbinic leadership.

Curiously there was also not a single Rav or Dayan - right wing or otherwise – who was listed as attending from Chicago. We have our share of Orthodox conversions here too. Some are done by right wing rabbis. I did not see a single name from Chicago!

Nor were there any Centrist of modern Orthodox rabbis or Dayanim. At least none were listed by YWN in their report.

Aside from my issues with some of the tactics used by Rabbi Tropper with respect to converts - I have to wonder why that was the case? I would suggest that this shows a widening chasm between RW and Centrist Modern Orthodox rabbinic leaders. Have they already written off the rest of us?

That is ironic since there seems to be a merging of the two populations. As I have written about in the past moderate right wing Jews and Centrist or right wing modern Orthodox Jews are finding a lot of common ground at the center.

Some may remember that I wrote about two conversion cases that Rabbi Tropper dealt with harshly. One was where he voided his own conversion of a woman he ‘caught’ with her hair uncovered and wearing slacks. Another was a woman who could not prove her Jewish lineage and who he promised to help via a conversion just to be sure there would be no doubt about her status as a Jew. He reneged in the end because she refused to move out of a city where there was no Mikvah even though she was completely sincere about observing Mitzvos. She refused for Parnassa reasons.

I have great difficulty with a man who uses such tactics and leads a worldwide organization to standardize conversion practices. I don’t see how anyone can trust this man.

And yet there he was attracting the crème de la crème of right wing Orthodox Jewish leadership. Do they subscribe to his tactics?

This leads me to ask some tough questions. YWN reports the following:

…the message from a number of Gedolei Hatorah was that only “giyur lechumrah” (conversion according to the highest standards of halacha) can help safeguard the “identity and integrity” of the Jewish nation.

OK, I can accept that as a general statement. After all why not have the strictest standards so there can never be any doubt? Besides - sincere converts need not worry.

Or do they? Looking at Rabbi Tropper’s tactics, I’d say that if he is in charge they do have something to worry about.

In light of his leadership and his tactics, on e has to wander what is meant by the ‘highest standards of Halacha’. I am absolutely certain they are referring to Kabbolas Ol.

Just to quickly review - the basic requirements of conversion there are 3 steps for a man and 2 for a women. 1. Mila (circumcision) for a man, 2. Tevilah (immersion in a Kosher Mikva ) 3. Kabbolas Ol (acceptance of the burden - to observe all the Mitzvos of the Torah). The third requirement is the tricky one and where all the controversy lies. Not going to go into great detail. Been there and done that.
But the following questions cannot be avoided and remain unanswered in my mind. What is the standard for Kabbolas Ol? And how does one determine sincerity? If there is blatant violation of Mitzvos immediately after the conversion –is that proof that any the acceptance is a sham? What if a convert accepts Kabbolas Ol sincerely and then finds it too hard? Is the conversion invalidated? Is there a difference between not observing Shabbos and a woman nort covering her hair?

Remember that the Gemarah tells us that that converts do not have to be knowledgeable in the detail of observance. They just have to be sincere in accepting observance in a general way without any detailed knowledge about what to do. They are taught details of Halacha afterward and observe as they learn. The Gemarah also tells us that as long as a convert is sincere at the moment of conversion he is Jewish. And that if he later violates all the Mitzvos in the Torah – that does not invalidate the conversion. What if a convert is sincere and later changes his mind – say after a week? Is their conversion nullified?

But the trickiest question of all is the following. What if a convert sees the value of observant Judaism in a modern Orthodox setting and converts as a modern Orthodox Jew is their conversion valid? Or taken a step further what if a woman converted by a right wing rabbi who tells her she must cover her hair. She accepts this and later finds it too difficult. She sees modern Orthodox women and concludes that it’s OK to do that. Nor does her modern Orthodox rabbi tell her she must. Is her conversion invalidated?

Did Rabbi Tropper have a right to invalidate a conversion of a woman who adopts a modern Orthodox lifestyle – even if she promised to keep the right wing lifestyle? If she changes her mind about being right wing but retains her general observance Mitzvos like Shabbos, Kashrus, and Mikva - does that invalidate her conversion? That seems to be what Rabbi Tropper thinks. Is he right? Or did his nullification even work?

I am not asking this as a general Halachic matter. I am asking this to the very Rabbanim and Dayanim who are involved with EJF. How far do we go with this standard of Chumra in conversion? How would they answer these questions? – Even if one accepts that we must be Machmir?

Why does it concern me? There will be two Orthodox populations - each with a difference whose chasm may be unbridgeable. One will not recognize the validity of Jews converted by the other. Over time these two populations will be unable to intermarry – God forbid.