There has been a discussion on Areivim on the issue of bringing the Kallah over to the men’s side so that the men can participate in the Mitzvah of Rikud Lifnei HaKallah. "Keitzad Merakdin Lifnei Hakalla"… The Gemarah asks. … How… not if! The Kallah can enjoy the dancing and all kinds of fun shtick the dancers do to be Mesameach the Chasan and the Kallah together. To put it the way one Areivim poster did:
“Right in front of her so she can enjoy it!!! While she is sitting with the Chasan and they are laughing and having the time of their lives!”
This is so true. Unfortunately this is Minhag is quickly falling into disuse. The more Charedi a wedding is, the less likely it is that the Kallah will come over to the Chassan’s side. And it is wrong. The Right Wing Roshei yeshiva that I know of always perk up and increase their dancing when the Kallah comes over. Telzer Rosh HaYeshiva, Rabbi Chaim Dov Keller, a very talented and lively dancer is at his best when the Kallah is present. Yet this Minhag is increasingly becoming extinct. It isn’t yet… there are still some Charedi weddings where you will find this Minhag, but is becoming harder and harder to find.
Why must the Yeshiva world take a beautiful custom and deep-six it into the ashbin of history? Why is it so important for the Right Wing to chase down every Chumra they can find?
It wasn’t always that way. I have pointed this out many times in the past. Back in pre-holocaust Europe, the Yeshivishe world was unrecognizable from what it is today. Litvishe Bachurim were forbidden to have payos and beards. Suits and hats were light colored, mixed seating at weddings were the order of the day. And much, much more. But today, every thing is topsy turvy. All of the above Minhagim have been dropped in favor of Chumros. The latest one being dropped is the Mihag of the Kallah coming over to the Chasan’s side... a beautiful Minhag dating back to the Talmudic era and before. Keitzad, merakdim lifnei hakallah? How the Gemarah asks do we dance before the Kallah. The Simchas Chasan V’Kallah was extolled and the question reflects not whether one should... but rather how... one can do it so as to best enhance her Simcha. And the Roshei Yeshiva know that. Yet they are allowing or perhaps even encouraging their Chasanim to eliminate that Minhag form their weddings!
There can be only one answer and it is obvious: The Chasidic influence post holocaust. Once the massive influx of Chasidim post holocaust to America took place and Chasdim were no longer as separated by geography as they were, by and large in Europe, the Lithuanian Rabbanim increasingly adopted more and more of their customs and Chumros so as not to be “out frummed” by them. It has devolved into a chase for Frumkeit… the false god of the right. Every single Chumra adopted in the last 60 years by the Yeshivisahe/Litvishe world is one that already existed in the Chasidic world: treating their Roshei Yeshiva like Chasidic Rebbes, darker clothes, blacker hats, peyos, beards, separate seating at weddings, and now keeping the Kallah away from her Chasan for the entire wedding dance. There seems to be no end to the chase by the yeshiva world to becoming Chasidim. If this keeps up, they may very well succeed. What’s next? The Mitzvah Tanz?
