He has apologized to us both in answer to Gil’s letter (not
available on line). But he stuck to his guns about us - mostly directing his
criticism to Gil. Gil’s ‘sin’ – he says - remains. That’s because Gil continues
to have links to articles in the margin of his blog – some of which are
negative. He only apologized for hurting us in his ‘legitimate’ message.
Most of the commentary I read about Rabbi Birnbaum’s apology
is highly critical of it – calling it not much of an apology.
I cannot speak for Gil, but I accept his apology even though
I did not ask for one. I am also not going to fault him for his views which are
based on Charedi Hashkafos. I did not expect him to change those Hashkafos. In
the world of the right, only the good is publicized. The bad is kept as hidden
as possible so as not to make them look bad to the world.
When they see bad press it hurts them. When they see me
(more than Gil) publicizing and criticizing it too, they blame us for helping
to spread Lashon Hara about them.
Even when they occasionally concede it is true (as R'
Birnbaum does) - why spread it? What is gained? Why hurt them even more? Why
increases the numbers of people made aware of this? They consider bad behavior
in their community to be such an anomaly that mentioning it paints an unfair
picture of them to the world.
To quote R' Nosson Sherman's explanation about why he only
publishes flattering things about Gedolim in ArtScroll bios - eliminating even
the most innocuous negative (to them) things like the fact that Rav Aharon
Kotler once read a secular novel - "If
it doesn't inspire - it ought not be said". They see their own way of life as the epitome
of perfection in serving God. And they see most of their people accomplishing
that, if the stick to their script.
They therefore do not want Mussar from us. They think they
are not deserving of it since the bad behavior is so rare in their circles… and
who are we to criticize them?! I would be fine with that except that if we
don't give them any Mussar, they won't get any at all. And, unfortunately it is
not as rare as they would like to believe.
The message they give to their public is that their world is
a glorious one where the Torah way of life - emphasized mostly in Bein Adam L'Makom ways - is lived to near perfection. Nor do they
understand the need for Orthodox leaders to condemn bad behavior publicly. But
as I have consistently maintained - not doing so only adds to the Chilul
HaShem. I will therefore continue to do as I do and he will continue to
disapprove. That's too bad because we really ought to be on the same page here.
"We are all brothers and sisters" says Rabbi
Birnbaum. I agree. No one cries out for unity more that I do. And I would love to
never see a negative story about an observant Jew again. But if and when it
happens, I am going to say something about it. I only wish Rabbi Birnbaum would
do the same.
