No, Modesty is Not Enough. But...

Laura E. Adkins, Deputy Opinion Editor of the Forward

Forward columnist and deputy opinion editor, Laura E. Adkins identifies as an Orthodox Jew. Which makes her response to Rabbi Avi Shafran’s Tablet article more significant than it might have been were that not the case.  

Rabbi Shafran who is  Orthodox discussed his view about the impact immodest dress and behavior has had on the prevalence of sexual misconduct in our culture. There has been an avalanche of women that have come forward to tell of their own experiences of that.

First I want to make clear that I am not speaking for Rabbi Shafran. I am only speaking for myself.

As I understand it the essence of Rabbi Shafran’s article is mostly referring to the #MeToo  phenomenon where men have sexually assaulted women. It does not really speak to the serious issue the sex abuse of children by male pedophiles.

Bearing this important difference in mind his Tablet article  posits that immodesty contributes to a culture where there are many powerful men -  highly respected in their fields – that see women primarily as sex objects and treat them that way at will. As has sadly been shown to be the case - there is little doubt in my mind about that.  

That said, Ms. Adkins makes some very valid points in her Forward op-ed. She points to statistics that show abuse occurs in at least equal amounts in religious communities (Jewish and otherwise). The fact that it is under-reported in religious communities suggest that it might even be greater there.  I believe the reason it is under-reported might be because of the negative way victims have in the past been treated by religious leaders.

If those statistics are accurate, that does not mean that Rabbi Shafran is wrong. I believe that both he and Ms. Adkins are right.

If there is an equal degree (or more) of sexual abuse in religious communities it might be that when modesty standards are taken to the extreme as they are in certain segments of those religious communities, that too can generate sexual misconduct.  

Here’s why. The sex drive is normal. When the sex drive is so strongly suppressed by community standards, there are some that will find ways to satisfy that drive. If they can’t do it legally, they will do it illegally. I think those statistics might be skewed by the more extreme segments that suppress the sex drive.

This does not of course mean that all religious people even those in the more extreme segments can’t control themselves. The vast majority do. But those that don’t can be classified as sociopaths. These are people of no - or very low conscience. I believe this is true no matter what culture one lives in - whether it is extremely immodest; or extremely modest; or anything in-between. Sociopaths have no compunction about using others for their own self gratification.

Whether a culture that glorifies sex or glorifies extremes of modesty – it is their sociopaths that behave in this way. What is surprising is not that there are sociopaths in the world. That has been true since the beginning of time. What is surprising is just how much of humankind is like that.

Which brings me back to Rabbi Shafran’s premise and Ms. Adkin’s response. The question is whether immodest behavior contributes to the sociopath’s tendency to use other human beings for their own self gratification. I don’t think there can be any doubt about that.

This does not mean blaming the victim. Rabbi Shafran is not saying that. I’m sure that he would agree that the blame lies squarely on the perpetrator. But to say that it doesn’t matter how sexy a woman looks in public is to ignore the impact that has on the male sex drive. Most of us can control out impulses. Sociopaths don’t care to. They will react to such stimuli by abusing others eventually.

The solution to this crisis is not only in curbing the cultural phenomenon of immodesty. There surely needs to be more along the lines that Ms. Adkins suggests: 

In religious institutions, we can start by removing the pervasive stigma against reporting sexual assault reminding religious educators that they are mandated reporters of child abuse and sexual assault, teaching children to report when someone touches them inappropriately, and obliterating the myth that reporting a sexual assailant is a sin. 

But then she adds:

Of course, religious concepts like respecting individual autonomy and protecting individual privacy are important values to instill from an early age, but teaching this value in the abstract is far from sufficient.

What this suggests is that there is merit to Rabbi Shafran’s argument. She only qualifies it by saying it is not enough. I agree with her and I think so too would Rabbi Shafran. However to totally ignore the impact of an immodest culture on the prevalence of sex abuse is to blind oneself to the reality of human nature. True - if society took modesty more seriously, that will not end sexual misconduct. That seems pretty clear. But it will surely help.