This is Not Our Way

A Chochmat Nashim podcast (from their website)

A few days ago, I hosted Shoshanna Jaskoll’s post describing what Chochmat Nashim, an organization she co-founded is all about. I said in the introduction that even though I have some differences of opinion with her on certain matters, I agree with her on most others. One of which is protesting the increasing erasure of women in the public square by the Charedi world. Which is why I gave my wholehearted support to this organization.

In a recent podcast at their website I was thanked for hosting her. My intro to that post was quoted. I appreciate that. But the means to a message of that podcast is one of those areas with which I strongly disagree. Please do not misunderstand. I completely agree with the message. But I completely disagree with characterizing those means as an acceptable way of accomplishing their goal.

As explained in the podcast, there is a protest phenomenon going on the world called the ‘Slutwalk’. The purpose of which is to respond to a commonly heard attitude to rape that blames the victim. Often called slut-shaming. It goes something like this: ‘If she wouldn’t walk around dressed like a slut, maybe she wouldn’t have gotten raped!’  The idea obviously being a woman that dresses in sexually provocative ways is ‘asking for it’.

Shoshanna strongly and correctly responded to this by saying, No! – It is not! No woman wants to be raped. No matter how she dresses. 

While it is true that dressing in sexually provocative ways might cause indecent thoughts in most men, that will not lead to rape. Those that might do so based on those thoughts are narcissistic psychopaths that do not care about the welfare of others. They use people for their own personal pleasures without any conscience. 

There is absolutely no excuse EVER to sexually assault any woman just to satisfy a momentary lustful thought no matter what generated it. It is also well known that there are many women that are sexually assaulted no matter how modestly they are dressed. Even elderly women or the sick and disabled in hospitals or nursing homes. That is the nature of psychopathic personalities

Women that show up at a ‘Slutwalk’ in various states of dress and undress do so to make the point that they have a right to NOT be attacked no matter how provocatively they dress.

I agree that walking around half naked will surely make an impact on those that encounter it. But it completely undermines the message because of another message it sends. Which is that it is OK to walk around half naked if there is a positive message in doing so. It also will provoke lustful thoughts it men that see them which also undermines the intended message.

It is NOT OK! It is not OK under any circumstances to walk around half naked in public other than if one’s life is threatened.

For religious Jews that ought to be a no-brainer. We place a heavy emphasis on dressing modestly. The purpose of which is to distance ourselves from immorality. We are a holy people. Where there is more immodesty, there is less holiness! 

The question being discussed on this podcast is whether is it OK for religious women to join this protest even if they are dressed in completely modest ways according to Halacha. There are some religious women that actually did join past protests like this but who dressed modestly! One of the women discussing this issue on the podcast who struggled with the conflicting values - decided to attend one and came back inspired. She plans to go again next year.

I could not disagree with her more. Joining a group of half dressed women completely undermines their message. It might even discredit  Chochmat Nashim’s mission of getting the Charedi world to respect women in equal measure to men if as an organization they agree with her. Joining the ‘Slutwalk’ does more than simply agree with their message. It agrees with their means. You cannot claim to be religious while marching in public in solidarity together with half naked women. If the goal is to get the Charedi world to change their ways, this will do the exact opposite.

I understand why they might feel the ends justify the means. The ends are a laudable goal which - as I keep saying - I support. But those ends must be achieved in ways that do not dishonor the modest ways in which we are supposed to lead our lives. 

The very idea of participating in something called a ‘Slutwalk’ should immediately set off alarm bells and tell a religious Jew, ‘Lo Zu HaDerech’. This is not our way. Yes, we need to get the message across. But not by joining women  in a ‘Slutwalk’ who purposely dress like sluts. 

As the podcast indicates, Chochmat Nashim realizes the problems and the inherent contradiction of values. But by accepting their ways they are teaching their children that as long as you have a positive goal it’s OK for people to walk around half naked in public even if you do not personally do so yourself! 

The ends do not justify the means. There are other ways to get that message across. Anyone that is educated about the many incidences of fully clothed women being raped or sexually assaulted will realize that dressing modestly does not always help. And that dressing immodestly is not  ‘asking for it’. The key is education. Not undressing  in public (or joining women that do even if you don’t) - to make the point.