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| The Gay Pride in Jerusalem last week (Jewish Press) |
Can anyone imagine Rav Moshe Feinstein participating in last week’s ‘Pride
Parade in Jerusalem? How about Rav Yosef Dov Soloveitchik? Or his brother Rav
Ahron? Or Rav Aharon Lichtenstein? Or any great rabbinic figure of their
stature? If they are true to their heritage and reputations, they would be the first
ones there. But if anyone believes that any great religious figure would do
that….what can I say. You are badly mistaken. It should be obvious that they would
not.
At the very least they would probably consider it the height
of absurdity if not an outright Chilul HaShem. And for good reason. By
attending that parade, one is implicitly celebrating a lifestyle conducive to seriously
sinful behavior. Mishkav Zechor (male to male anal sex) is forbidden by biblical
law and considered a capital offense. Not that every gay man necessarily engages
in it. But one would have to assume that a great many gay men do.
And yet in a Times of Israel article written just prior to
that parade Mrs. Peskin said she will be
attending it with her children.
This is not to berate Mrs. Peskin. She is doing it for
completely altruistic reasons. Her heart is in the right place. She explains
that she used to be opposed to these parades but now supports them. Here is how
she put it:
I used to say “Fine, be gay, but why do you need to be proud of it? And show off about your aveiros in the holy city of Jerusalem.”
But I’ve changed.
You want to know why I’m going?
I’m going to show that you can be religious and not be a bigot. That you can be chareidi and not be a bigot.
The thing that changed my mind, the thing that made me decide that this year is the year I’m going to go, is finding out that some of my good friends are gay. And they feel that that means that God hates them. That their life isn’t worth living. That they’re an abomination.
The reason I’m going to pride is to say I care about you. I love you. I think you’re an awesome person. And the fact that you’re gay doesn’t mean you’re any less valuable as a person, any less worthwhile as a jew, any less loved by God.
I realize that the purpose of these parades are to give
Chizuk to those struggling with these issues. To indeed say we care about them and love them. I agree that we must NOT be bigoted. That we know that
they are otherwise fine people with good values who wish to be religious. They simply can’t help who they are attracted to
(and who they are definitely not attracted to).
But celebrating them in a parade is a semi endorsement of a
lifestyle that will very often result Mishkav Zechor. I am sure that is not
Mrs. Peskin’s intent. But that is how it will surely be perceived by the casual
observer – and more importantly by an influential media that loves to exploit controversy.
It is wrong to be proud of an inclination conducive to sin.
Instead of celebrating those inclinations - one needs to be introspective about them. One
must consider the consequences of the potential transgressions that might occur
in living a gay lifestyle. What one must certainly not do is participate in a
public event that appears to celebrate it.
I have been told that Pride Parades are not about
celebrating gay behavior. It is about celebrating themselves as human beings with
value and imbuing them with self esteem. The fact that gay people have a higher suicide rate than the general
public testifies to their lack of self esteem.
I get it. Self esteem is surely
a problem for people that want to be religious and yet succumb to sinful desires.
This is true of any behavior that is sinful. But the solution to that is not to celebrate
those desires as though they were perfectly legitimate. It is one thing for us to
understand the struggle. It is another to imply that it is OK to act on them.
A gay person might feel better about themselves by the public
acceptance such a parade might generate. But that is not an excuse to have one.
Because that is it the only consequence. What parades like this do is strongly
contribute to the normalization of a gay lifestyle. Practically washing Mishkav Zechor free of
any sin at all. Same as permissible heterosexual sex. That leads to a societal imprimatur
for gay relationships - complete with marriage contracts.
This has actually happened here in America. Gay marriage is
now the law of the land. Mishkav Zechor is a perfectly fine behavior. What about
the biblical prohibition against it? A prohibition shared by all 3 major faiths –
based on the word of God?
God doesn’t matter anymore. God is becoming increasingly irrelevant
in our day as our modern sensibilities have become more ‘enlightened’. ‘God thought
Mishkav Zechor is a bad thing?!’ ‘What does HE know?!’
I don’t think I can spell it out any better than that. If a
gay man wants to be religious, how can he support permitting the impermissible –
even if he can’t help transgressing? How indeed can anyone support permitting
the impermissible just because they have close friends who are good people - that
nonetheless transgress?
None of this should be seen as a rejection of gay
individuals. On the contrary. As I have said – what seems to be a million times
already - every human being whether gay or straight is created in God’s image. And
deserves to be treated with the dignity that implies. But that does not mean
turning sins practically into Mitzvos for purposes of self esteem.
One must accept them as fine and decent human beings. And ignore
who they are attracted to. On the other hand, if they want society to permit
the impermissible that is a bridge too far and undermines thier attempts at being religious.
As for the rest of us supporting them by attending a Pride Parade
- the message of support and opposition to
bigotry - that is not the only thing happening. The collateral
damage is - in my view - enormous!
