Inappropriate Behavior - When Does it Begin?

Opera star, Placido Domingo denies all the allegations (CNN)

I am not shocked by the accusations made against opera star, Placido Domingo. Not because I knew anything special about him. But because he was in a position of power in an industry known for sexual promiscuity. Not that everyone in it is sexually promiscuous. But it doesn’t take much imagination to know what goes on in that world. The ‘casting couch’ is a long time feature of show business. The very word ‘show’ should tell you how that this world is about exhibitionism. The kind several prominent figures have been accused of – ruining their careers.

Domingo’s  behavior as described in an AP article is pretty disgusting. But it is not that atypical of powerful people (with little if any conscience) in show business whose sexual appetites never seem to be satiated. 78 year old Placido Domingo is apparently one such individual. 

But by ‘Show Biz’ standards, his behavior might almost be the norm. There have been so many people in that industry ‘caught with their pants down’ that it surprises even people like me that realize the low the moral standards of that industry.

Now before anyone accuse me of confusing consensual sex with sexual harassment or absue. I know the difference. But in the world of the ‘casting couch’ sexual advances of any kind seem to be the norm.

A lot of formerly respected heavyweights in Show Biz have been exposed as sexual predators. Bill Cosby, Harvey Weinstein, Charlie Rose, Matt Lauer, Les Moonves, and Louis CK, …are just a few names that come immediately to mind. They knew that they would get away with it because that's just the way things are done in that world. It was practically expected by show biz aspirants. In the past they just put up with it as a price that simply had to be paid.

But… no more. Not after #MeToo. And the ‘Hit’s just keep on coming’. As Placido Domingo - the latest entertainer to be exposed - demonstrates.

This is not to say that same thing doesn’t happen in other industries with people that are not in show business. That was demonstrated by the late Jeffery Epstein, one of the more egregious sex offenders to ever appear on the scene. And let’s not forget about Presidents Kennedy, Clinton, and Trump who – to one degree or another - have had similar accusations made about them. But I don’t think it arguable that Show Biz is where  most of is at. 

That #MeToo movement  has forced all this change is a good thing. Women who in the past just kept quiet about it for fear of ruining their careers are now talking.

As I said not long ago, this will not stop it entirely. But It will hopefully curtail its occurrence and put people on notice that if they try anything they will not get away with it. And likely suffer the same consequences others have.

What I fear happening though is a backlash of sorts where innocent gestures towards women will be interpreted as predatory. Such as was the case with Joe Biden recently. He had to put up with what seemed like endless criticism of how his ‘overly friendly’ tactile approach to the opposite sex made them uncomfortable. He kept insisting  it was all innocent. Finally he now seems to have overcome it, and has moved on unscathed. 

But when women say that they have been sexually harassed by unwanted attention, have we gone too far? Unwanted attention can be perceived as harassment. But is (for example) asking a female colleague for a date more than once or twice after having been refused as many times - harassment? I am beginning to wonder. Because to me, that is not harassment. It is persistence in the hope that she will give you a chance at some point. On the other hand there does come a point where it turns into harassment. The question then becomes, how many times does a man need to be rejected before a repeated attempt to go out with a woman becomes harassment? 

I mention this in light of how one of Domingo’s accusers described part of her harassment by him: 

(She) said he repeatedly asked her out on dates after hiring her to sing a series of concerts with him in the 1990s. 

Of course she went on to accuse him of much worse. But including that as part of her harassment is what made me ask that question. The way things are going now, it seems as though asking more than once might be considered harassment! If asking woman out on dates is now considered sexual harassment, then #MeToo has gone too far.

One more thing.  Now that sexual harassment is finally getting its proper due, it doesn’t change the culture of sexual promiscuity that generates lust in so many people. True, it is the obligation of every individual to resist acting on lustful thoughts. But it does’t help matters that we live in a culture that practically celebrates it. Of which ‘Show Biz’ is the epicenter.

Which is why the Orthodox Jewish (or any religious) approach to modesty is a far better way to live. As long as it isn’t extreme. Because that may end up with behavior which is just as bad.

Just a few thoughts off the top of my head based on this latest piece of news