Unintended Consequences

Photo that appeared in Mishpacha's print edition

I have to give Mishpacha Magazine credit. They have finally published a picture of a woman in their print edition. It was in a wonderful mini bio about the great Ponevezh Rosh Yeshiva, R’ Shmuel Rozovsky, ZTL. Although she was in a small newspaper clipping as part of a group of doctors that treated him for a deadly disease, it is nevertheless quite clear that one of the people in that picture is a woman. 

I applaud Mishpacha for the courage to break that taboo. It was a mini-baby step to be sure. But a step in the right direction. I just hope it wasn’t an error that slipped by the censors about which they will apologize. That would be a step backwards. Hopefully it is not. We shall see. 

It is with that in mind that an opposite trend seems to be happening. Which is the following. The Charedi  phenomenon of guiding all young men into Kollel (whose goal is full time learning for as long as possible) has generated the unintended consequences of these young men being unable to support their families. Women are now being encouraged to do that. They are the modern era breadwinners of the Charedi world. Michal Raucher, an Assistant Professor of Jewish Studies at Rutgers University, spent two years studying Charedi women in Jerusalem. She made the following observation: 

…ultra-Orthodox women have become the primary breadwinners. Over the past decade, they have increasingly attended college and graduate school in order to support their large families. In fact, they now enter the work force at a similar rate as their secular peers and are forging new careers in technology, music and politics, for example. 

This new role for Charedi women has apparently ignited a sort of nascent Charedi feminism among the rank and file. Which runs counter to an almost opposite negative trend - the erasure of women from the public square (as indicated in my opening paragraph). 

While there are many Charedi women that don’t seem to mind or care that much, there are plenty that do. And for good reason. By making women invisible it harms the way girls see themselves as adults as well as how boys see women in their own future. Being in the work place is contradiction to the trend to erase them. At best that is confusing. Taking matters of Tznius to an absurd extreme seems to be backfiring as more Charedi women begin to flex their feminist muscles. 

Another example where this nascent feminism is beginning to be expressed is in the area of reproductive rights: 

…when you look at ultra-Orthodox women, a picture of major societal change emerges. Women in the community are increasingly making reproductive decisions, working outside the home and resisting rabbis’ authority... 

What came out most prominently from our conversations and the many hours of observations I conducted in clinics and hospitals was that after several pregnancies, ultra-Orthodox women begin to take control over their reproductive decisions. This runs counter to what the rabbis expect of them. 

Rabbis expect ultra-Orthodox men and women to come to them for guidance on and permission for medical care. 

I’m not sure that the Charedi leadership is fully aware of this. If they are, they might chalk it up to a small minority. Or they might not know the extent of it and say this phenomenon is hardly what they object to when they speak about feminism in disparaging tones. 

But even if the latter were true, they should be aware that it isn’t only about jobs to support their Kollel husbands or reproductive rights. These women are getting an education their husbands are being denied. Their wives end up far more educated than they are. Which can easily work its way into becoming the source of marital discord. 

The idea that Torah knowledge runs supreme in an Orthodox home, does not mean that the one who possess it the most will be automatically treated with the most deference. Which is what one would expect in such homes. The fact is that in many cases wives are out in the world and have jobs where they are the intellectual peers of the men they work with. Trained to do everything their male counterparts do just as well. 

This gives them a sense of high accomplishment that they bring with them into the home. They may not do it consciously, but I don’t see how one cannot feel a sense of personal superiority in the sense of being the better educated of the two and being the primary bread winner. 

That said, I’m sure that there are some women with those credentials that still see themselves as secondary to their husbands since Torah knowledge is so highly valued. This is what they are taught from the earliest stages of their educational development. Which is constantly being reinforced throughout their lives. But theory is one thing. Reality is something else. I suspect that a lot of women have one way or another exhibited their sense of high accomplishment in areas where their husbands have not - and very likely never will.

Husbands can come to resent that which I believe it can destroy a marriage. 

I don’t know what the future holds. And I am not too good at guessing. I have said many times that the current paradigm of the Charedi world is unsustainable. This is yet another indication of that. One that has bearing on family life. It wouldn’t surprise me if this dynamic is in part responsible for the increase of the Orthodox divorce rate. So far the Charedi world has survived all the dire predictions of its demise. Will it last without a paradigm change? Who knows!