Avrohom Shmuel Silverstein was my best friend. We were kindred spirits despite the fact that he was Charedi and I am a Centrist. He checked all the boxes that made him Charedi. And yet he referred to himself as a ‘Reluctant Charedi’. That’s because we shared many of the same concerns about the direction of the Charedi world.
Abie was also a dyed in the wool Litvak who was proud of his heritage. A heritage that included a father who learned in Radin during the time of the Chafetz Chaim.
Long after his magnum opus the Mishna Berurah was published and became the widely accepted source for modern day Halacha, Abie told me that his father once made a comment to him along the lines of ‘I guess my former Rosh HaYeshiva really was a Gadol.’ Because at the time, I guess, his father just saw him as the easily accessible Rosh Yeshiva of a small Yeshiva. Both parents were Holocaust survivors. His mother was a Partisan albeit a religious one.
I envied my friend. He was much smarter than me, much more knowledgeable in Torah than me, and had a much better sense of humor. In many ways he was a role model. Someone I wished I could emulate. He was a Talmid Chacham who could give Chaburos (lectures) on a difficult Rambam and then provide his own novel solution to it.
He was also an excellent lawyer who refused to make the legal profession the center of his life. For Abie, it was simply a way to provide for his family. A family that included a devoted wife and 5 beautiful children. Each of whom are a ‘chip off the old block’. He and his wife raised them well.
How many times did Abie provide his legal skills for me and my family without charging us a penny! No matter how much we insisted on paying him.
I had known Abie since our days in Telshe together over 60 years ago. But we were not really close back then. Our friendship blossomed many years later when a mutual friend suggested we form a weekly Chavrusa in Gemara together on Shabbos. We made 2 Siyumim together (Brachos and Shabbos) before I switched over to learning Daf Yomi. As did he. But our friendship grew out of that and had became very close.
The two of us shared a bond that I don’t think anyone else had with him. Abie could let his hair down with me, knowing that we thought alike on many issues and shared the same irreverent sense of humor. We both grew up in the fifties and sixties and experienced the same culture growing up. Often reminiscing about ‘the good old days’ along with our wives. And how different the world of today is from then.
Abie was perhaps the most politically incorrect person I knew. And he was not embarrassed to tell you what he thought about certain ‘sacred cows’. And to the best of my knowledge some of those thoughts he shared only with me - knowing we were kindred spirits unlike many of his other friends.
I will never forget how disappointed I was when he told me that he was making Aliyah. His wife grew up in Bnei Akiva and spent the year after high school in Israel on Hachshara. It was her lifelong dream to live in Israel.
Her love of Eretz Yisroel rubbed off on Abie and when the opportunity arose, they made the move.
I recall feeling that I was losing the best friend I ever had. We sat next to each other in Brisk Yeshiva for Shachris every Shabbos for many years. In fact my entire presence there is due to his convincing me to Daven at Brisk once they moved so close to my house. Since Yeshivas Brisk was also my Rebbe’s Yeshiva, it was a no brainer to try it out. I have now been there for over 30 years, staying on long after he made Aliyah.
Shortly afterward, he had a serious heart attack that left him in a coma for a while. When he recovered his legs had atrophied. After many attempts at restoring full function only one of his legs responded - leaving him to rely on a walker to get around. Shortly after that he moved to Baltimore where his daughter lives because Johns Hopkins was known to have the best treatment for what ailed him. But he never returned physically to his former self.
A few weeks ago he developed COVID. That weakened his heart. He was hospitalized and his health deteriorated from there - until his passing yesterday.
I miss him terribly. Even though we hadn’t seen each other for over 4 years we kept in touch.. Every time we spoke we picked up right where we left off as though nothing had changed.
Now that he is gone, all I have left is memories of a great friendship. Our wives, both named ‘Annie’ became fast friends, too. As did our children. Abie was a beloved figure to all who knew him. Despite his politically incorrect humor about things some people considered sacred. It didn’t matter to them. And it sure didn’t matter to me even though he occasionally poked fun of my Centrist Hashkafos too. I loved that man. I will miss him terribly for the rest of my life.
His wife, his children and his brother all accompanied the body. His funeral will take place tomorrow in Bet Shemesh. They will observe Shiva in Israel on Tuesday and Wednesday – returning to Baltimore on Thursday to complete the Shiva there. Getting up on Monday morning.
I write these words knowing full well that they do not do him justice. There is so much more to the man that is beyond the scope of this post. Or that I’m sure I’ve missed. I only hope that if my words reach his family that I have not said anything that would even remotely upset them. That was certainly not my intent. Everything I said was said with love and sorrow - and with pain in my heart. May God comfort them among all the mourners of Israel.
Baruch Dayan Emes.
