Eating Bread by the Sweat of Your Brow

Charedi women in the workplace (JNS)

Eighty percent of Charedi women in Israel work. That statistic reported by JNS might lead one to see that as a victory of sorts for feminism. The traditional role of a woman becoming a homemaker, wife, and mother has always been the hallmark of the Jewish family going back many generations. But now it has changed into women doing what men traditionally do. If that doesn’t seem to reflect the feminist goal of equality of the sexes, I don’t know what does. 

But does it really? Read on.

What is unfortunately also true is the reason for that statistic. It isn’t that they have decided to give up the traditional roles to seek equality with men in the workplace. They have by and large replaced men.  Although because of the ‘soaring cost of living and rising interest rates’ there does seem to be a slight increase in the number of Charedi men working to a record 55.8% - that is still a relatively small number compared to 87% of non Charedim that work. 

Why is this percentage so low compared to everyone else? It is because the goal indoctrinated into the minds of all Charedi men is to study Torah full time for as long as possible without the ‘distraction’ of preparing for a future in the work place. Women are indoctrinated to work instead - supporting their families so that their husbands can continue studying Torah full time. Eighty percent do it willingly and gladly for that reason. To that end women are provided with that ‘distraction’

Men no longer have to deal with their ‘curse ’ issued by God in Bereshis (3-19) ‘BeZeiyas Apecha Tochel Lechem - by the sweat of your brow shall you eat bread. Now women do all the sweating.  Even tough they have their own ‘curse’ to worry about - the pain of childbirth and childrearing.

I would even say that in the Charedi world women are ‘more equal’ than men in this sense. The  traditional  Jewish role of men supporting their families or at least being the primary breadwinner has been switched over to women.

There are several questions that arise here. Do Charedi women at some (perhaps subliminal) level resent the dual role of breadwinner on the one hand - and wife, mother, and homemaker on the other? Being required to be away from their homes for a good part of their day as they sweat and toil in the workplace? 

I know that most Charedi women would say they do it gladly. They have been indoctrinated to see supporting their husband’s Torah study as the highest form of service to God a woman can have. Given equal spiritual reward with their husbands for every word of Torah they enable their husbands to  study. 

But on an emotional level, I have to wonder if they do not feel somewhat overwhelmed by this dual role. And who takes care of the children while her husband is in the Beis HaMedrash studying Torah and she is working at her job? Are they being raised by nannies? Do husbands take over some of that job - thereby undermining the very reason that Charedi women go to work?

Another question that comes to mind is the following. In order to find decent jobs, Charedi women generally do get a decent  secular education through high school. In many cases they go on to get the higher education required to get better paying jobs. All while their husbands don’t even get any secular education beyond eighth grade and precious little before that. Women also learn how to navigate the real world they find in the workplace picking up skills that help them advance in their careers. 

True, spending time studying Torah full time makes many men fairy knowledgeable of that discipline. But doesn’t it also make them self-conscious about their ignorance of other things compared to their wives? By the same token don’t women look down a bit – even if subliminally – at their husbands that are so ignorant of those other things compared to them? This can’t be good for a marriage.

I’m not saying that Charedi marriages are, God forbid, doomed. I’m pretty sure they are at least as successful as secular marriages, if not more so. But I can’t help thinking that this educational discrepancy takes its toll on the marriage at some level. Which at least in some cases leads to divorce.

I am not in any way advocating that women should stop working. On the contrary. I believe that it takes ‘two to tango’ in the world today. It’s rare that a single income can meet the financial demands made on families these days.  Nevertheless I question the reversal of roles that Charedim are indoctrinated to believe is a Jewish priority. Nowhere in the Torah or even the rabbinic literature (that I am aware of) does it say that women must be the primary breadwinners for their family so that their husands can learn Torah full time. But that is the paradigm they are now living.

It doesn’t have to be this way. In fact in my view, it shouldn’t be this way. Men should be the primary breadwinners. While it is certainly OK for women to work and help the family meet its financial responsibilities – it should not be on them to be the ones the family depends on most. This doesn’t mean that in some case women can’t earn more than their husbands. Nothing wrong with that if it happens. But in the Jewish tradition, it is the man’s responsibility first.

The Charedi world can go back to this paradigm if they chose to without losing a thing. All they have to do is prepare their men for the workplace, too. Starting with offering a secular curriculum in high school that would enable them to get better paying jobs. That can only happen if Charedi leaders stop indoctrinating their men to all study Torah full time for as long as possible. And to promote the value of working for a living as a fist choice. The idea of throwing a thousand people into the Beis Hamedrash just to get one Gadol has long ago seen its heyday. 

We do not need hundreds of thousands of men doing that.to get our leaders and rabbinic scholars. Even if only ten percent of that number is encouraged to study full time - the truly brilliant and highly motivated will rise to that occasion. The rest of us (men) should go back to the paradigm set by God Himself of eating bread by the sweat of their brow. While setting aside regular times for Torah study. That will work. But as things stand now it will never happen . 

On the other hand necessity is the mother of invention (or in this case - change). The more expensive it becomes to support a family, the more it seems Charedim are choosing to enter the workforce. Perhaps that will someday generate a grass roots change in the system. Who knows.