There has been a debate over the years about whether to attend Yom HaShoah ceremonies. One of the reasons given for boycotting the event is the fact that it is held in the month of Nissan where Hespedim are not permitted. I find this to be a rather poor excuse. Even though the problem is a legitimate one under normal circumstances, it is blown away by the holocaust. The enormity of it... the sheer horror that any survivor went through far outweighs such minor Halachic concerns.
Yes, I said minor. Virtually every funeral I've ever gone to during the month of Nissan, a Maspid will say something like: I know it's Nissan and we aren't supposed to say Hespedim ... but I feel I must say at least a few Divrei Shvach about the Nifter. And then he proceeds to give a Hespid anyway.
That is why it is so upsetting when they use this kind of Ta’anah. These survivors went through the kind of hell that few if any rabbinic leaders alive today did. Even though they may not intend it as such, for them to now disrespect these holy survivors (whether they ended up Frum or not) by refusing to participate with them on their day, is just plain wrong.
Let's be honest. The problem for Charedim is not so much Nissan as it is participating with the Non-Frum. They refuse to join in anything they don't have complete control over. Witness the refusal by Agudah to take part in a mass rally in Washington a few years ago. It was a big Kiddush HaShem. But it was characterized as a Chilul HaShem by Rabbi Ephraim Waxman, a Rosh HaYeshiva and a rising star in Agudah circles because some non-O rabbi read a Kapital Tehilim (or something).
This is a gripe many holocaust survivors have against the Frum. They say they rarely see a Frum person participate in one of their memorials.
But it isn’t only the non-religious survivors who complained. There used to be many complaints from Frum survivors about Agudah not responding in any way to the holocaust. So, at some point (I think it was in the seventies) they decided the response would be to dedicate all future Daf-Yomi Siyumim as a fitting memorial tribute.
This is their response... to find a venue only once every seven and one half years that includes no non-Frum people and pays tribute primarily to the loss of the Torah learning Jews. I find that unacceptable for two reasons.
1) It disrespects all the holy survivors who unfortunately did not come out Frum after the war. We cannot judge them for they have suffered a holy suffering that none of the rest of us have. Many of their parents, sisters, brothers, children, grandparents, cousins... died Al Kiddush HaShem... and in so many instances they were tortured first. And of the survivors, they too were tortured whether through medical experiments, though starvation, or all manner of human degradation.
2) The purpose of the Siyum is to celebrate the completion of Shas,
NOT to mourn the dead.
Instead of finding their own niche to the exclusion of everyone else at seven and a half year intervals, Agudah types should join all the survivors at a time and place of their own choosing. Nissan may not be the best time to observe a memorial of the holocaust, but refusing to join those poor survivors who don't understand the reasons for our objections is a far worse error in my view.
If they would show a little more sympathy by attending and listening they would have far more influence on them. The survivors are not Reshaim. They are victims. Perhaps their questions can never be satisfactorily answered but their Kavod Shamayim could be improved if they would see Gedolei Yisroel attending their assemblies and addressing their issues.
If Rabbi Perlow, for example, would be willing to attend one of these, he could arrange to speak to the organizers who I believe would accommodate his concerns about appropriate messages delivered at the event. I would be willing to bet that the vast majority of survivors (if not all of them) would consider it an honor and privilege to have a great and honored rabbi addressing a holocaust memorial. He could be a healer of emotional wounds and be Mekarev many of them with just a few kind and conciliatory words. He would bring Torah content to this venue. They may not suddenly become Shomrei Shabbos but it could turn into a major Kiddush HaShem.
