There is an interesting question asked in Rabbi Yakov Horowitz’s weekly column by a concerned parent. In essence she asks whether the Chumros observed on Pesach by her family are necessary if they could harm her children’s positive attitude about Yom Tov. These Chumros include:
“Not “mishing” on Pesach, meaning that they don’t eat at other people’s homes throughout Pesach. They also do not purchase any of the commercial food products such as snacks, prepared foods, etc.”
The parent goes on to say that she and her husband are “also concerned because our eldest children are getting quite resentful and feel overly restricted.” ...and ends by saying that her “husband feels that minhagim (customs) are very important. I agree that they are. But I don’t feel that these Chumros (extra-strict halachos) are worth engendering the resentment of our children.”
I understand the source of such Minhagim. The Laws of Pesach are very strict… much stricter than the laws of Kashrus and the consequences of violation are much more severe than eating Treif. So, since it is only for a week’s duration many people feel they can “bite the bullet” and keep all the Chumros.
In point of fact, I think this parent is absolutely right to be concerned.
I question the over all value of keeping them when they impact negatively on the spirituality of one’s children and wonder if there isn’t an element of OCD in a parent who insists on keeping them at all cost. We must remember that uncommon Chumros, no matter how noble can be devastating when imposed on our children in an environment where the common practice is not to follow those Chumros.
The very idea of “biting the bullet” is anathematic to the Halachic requirement of Simchas Yom Tov. “VeSamachtah B’Chagecha”. That was observed in the era of the Beis HaMikdash by eating the Shalmei Simcha. We no longer have that available to us. But that does not negate our requirement to enjoy the Yom Tov. Indeed the Shulcahn Aruch tells us to do many other things in order to insure that our families enjoy the Yom Tov. Insisting on Chumros like those described by this parent “spoils” the otherwise joyous nature of Pesach. And that is criminal in my view. Insisting on them goes directly counter to the intent of the Pasuk in the Torah mandating Simcha. and is indicative of a possible obsessive compulsive personality.
It would behoove anyone so inclined to think about that possibility. That said, I want to emphasize that in communities where everyone is on the same page, such Chumros can have more validity. It is in the anomaly that there is danger and might be indicative of OCD.
But that doesn’t mean that some of the far fetched Minhagim that some groups maintain aren’t sourced in some way to in obsessive compulsive mentality.
An article in the Jerusalem Post makes an interesting case for that. Here is just one such example which really makes me wonder about it:
Rabbi Mordechai Hager, the octogenarian Viznitz Rebbe of Monsey, New York… and other hassidim, especially Belz, do not eat carrots. According to legend, in Galicia it was nearly impossible to obtain vegetables for the Pessah seder. One year, the Belz rebbe managed to get a carrot. It later turned out that the carrot …had been dipped in non-kosher-for-Pessah alcohol to be preserved.
I know alcohol is Chametz. But because of a story about one incident which probably happened well over a century ago in Europe, this results on a total ban of… a vegetable?! We’re not talking about anything even remotely resembling Kitniyos here. If this Minhag is not sourced in OCD, I don’t know what is.
