One of the biggest Jewish tragedies of our time is that of intermarriage. Approximately 50% of all Jews marry out. That is a staggering figure by any measure. On this day before Tisha B’Av that statistic truly stands out. Tisha B’Av we commemorate the destruction of the Beis HaMikdash considered to be the single biggest tragedy of our existence as Jews. Even the loss of 6 million Jews during the holocaust doesn’t surpass it.
How can this be? This is a question that I have never had fully answered. I don’t think I will ever fully comprehend it. A typical answer given is that the loss of Jewish life as a percentage of the whole was greater then. But still… the actual numbers were greater during the holocaust.
And theologically nothing could be greater than the loss of God’s presence on this earth in His Holy Temple. Our ability to commune with him has forever been diminished… until the advent of Moshiach. We can no longer offer sacrifices to atone for our sins. We can only pray, which is a poor substitute.
The only conclusion one can make here is that a spiritual holocaust is a more serious loss than a physical one. And that brings me to intermarriage. If a spiritual holocaust is greater than a physical one, then intermarriage is its gas chamber.
It is bad enough when secular Jews who are uneducated about their heritage do it. But when an educated Jew does it, especially one who has gone through 12 grades of Yeshiva education the tragedy is even greater. In the case of a Jew who was one of the most brilliant minds that Yeshiva ever had on its campus, well the tragedy is immense. I ask myself over and over, how could this happen? How could someone, like Noah Feldman who was educated in Torah and has such a brilliant mind do something like this?
Noah Feldman’s resume reads almost like an ArtScroll Gadol book… with list of accomplishments, almost right out of the womb. Both secular and religious.
More than making me sad, it makes me wonder what happened? I’m not sure we will ever know the answer to that question.
The reaction to his article in the New York Times has brought near universal condemnation of what he did. Understandably so. He has willingly crawled into the spiritual gas chamber of intermarriage. Outrage and condemnation seem like the only appropriate response, on this day the eve of Tisha B’Av. How can anyone say a good word about some like this… who did something like that?
Well, someone has. Rabbi Shmuley Boteach has written an op-ed in the subject and to be honest I kind of sympathize with his views. If one reads the article written by him in this matter, one will see that the Noah Feldman that he knew is a lot different than the Noah Feldman that intermarried. Here is Rabbi Boteach’s description:
“Noah Feldman was a brilliant, Orthodox Jewish Rhodes scholar who arrived in Oxford in my fourth year as rabbi there in 1992. We quickly hit it off. For one thing, there was scarcely a subject - Jewish or secular - upon which Noah did not have some profound knowledge. We studied Talmud together several times a week and I made Noah a kind of secondary rabbi at our L'Chaim Society, such was the range of his Jewish erudition and his phenomenal capacity for teaching.”
“Noah was one of the most accomplished young students I had ever met. He was valedictorian of Harvard, a Rhodes and Truman scholar, and completed his Oxford doctorate in about 18 months, which may or may not be a university record. It was a source of great pride for me that Noah was observant and wore a kippa. We all marveled every Shabbat at Noah's incredible ability to read any section of the Torah at our student synagogue.”
How does one go from this, to intermarriage? And in the process still feel that his religious education informs his every inner thought? This is truly fascinating.
Rabbi Boteach goes on to say that we ought to not ostracize him and instead encourage him to continue doing as many Mitzvos as possible. By doing so we keep him close to our community and perhaps his wife will one day see the beauty and truth of Torah and convert. Ostracizing someone who marries out as a means of preventing others from doing so has never worked, Rabbi Boteach says, as can be se today from the 50% intermarriage rate.
I am truly conflicted. I understand the severity of what he did and the increased magnitude of it by virtue of his brilliance and Jewish education. It is truly a Chilul HaShem! On the day before Tisha B’Av my feelings should be those of outrage. This one act by one individual is a Churban on the level of the destruction of the Beis HaMikdash. An entire world was destroyed by it! The generations of Jewish children he could have had will now never happen.
But I can’t help but see Rabbi Boteach’s side of it. People can do Teshuva. Tisha B’Av should be not only lament about our great losses but a hope and a prayer about our future. A future of Teshuva for all of us, including one of the perhaps most brilliant minds the Jewish people currently have.
