One of the things not talked about too much is the fact that some of the so called kids at risk… are at risk because they have been sexually abused. I don’t think that there is really any great revelation in this fact. But it was really brought home to me again in an article in Ha’aretz. It is about Avreimel Mondrowitz. My feeling about him is one of pure disgust. He is a sick man, but deserves to pay dearly for all the pain he's caused in not controlling that sickness.
For a period of over 20 those years he molested young vulnerable ‘patients’. These were children that were in many cases already victims of abuse and were sent to him by parents and school officials. He presented himself to the Torah world as a qualified, credentialed, and degreed child psychologist who would treat his patients Al Pi Halacha… according to Jewish law.
Of course all those claims were false. Especially the one about ‘Al Pi Halacha’. He wasn’t a therapist at all but a sexual predator who took advantage of the vulnerability of his young victims. What’s worse is that he ‘set up shop’ precisely in a way that would gain access to these victims in private… and then victimize them further.
My disgust is directed at this sick predator. But my anger is at the way the rabbinic leadership of all stripes has in the past treated the entire issue of sex abuse in the Jewish community. They are only now beginning to address the problem. But when I think of how many people were victimized because of their sluggish response, I want to just vomit.
I am certainly not the first one to cry out about it. There are others much louder than I and they scream about this issue every day, And though I don’t approve of their tactics, I do approve of their passion.
I can appreciate the concerns expressed by rabbinic leaders which are responsible for their past reticence in acting. They are worried about false accusations… and their devastating impact on the accused, his family and the reputation of the Torah world. Those concerns are valid, but on this issue, misplaced. One cannot afford to worry about what your lawn is going to look like when your house is on fire. You need to put out the fire first.
And they didn’t. They did not want the front lawn to get damaged. I realize that people aren’t lawns and people who are falsely accused can rarely get their reputations fully restored. There does have to be a certain degree of care and deliberation on a matter as serious as this. But the most important thing is to stop the abuser from ever doing it again. This did not happen in far too many occasions.
Their motives were pure. But that allowed the abuse to continue. They gave the accused the benefit of the doubt so as not to hurt an innocent man or his family for life. It is true that accusations like this can adversely affect a family in countless ways for the rest of their lives. But in protecting a potentially innocent person, the potentially greater and ongoing tragedy of sex abuse is perpetuated.
What they should have done in every case where someone is accused of child sexual abuse is to immediately remove the accused from his position and made sure he was not allowed to be around potential victims while investigated the accusations. If after a short period of due diligence it was determined that there was even the slightest chance that the accusations were true, They needed to report it to the authorities so that they could use their full resources to investigate. If the accused ended up being innocent, that too is a tragedy. But the greater tragedy by far is to allow a potential abuser to continue abusing children unabated.
Most victims suffer life long trauma. Not all of them end up in the gutter. Some can overcome the abuse and lead normal lives, but the abuse is always with them at some level and it affects them negatively. And for some… they suffer lifelong severe mental problems. Some even become abusers themselves!
No where has this picture been better painted than in the story of Avreimal Mondrowitz, who has just been arrested and is expected to be extradited to the United States to stand trial for his crimes. His story is reported in an in depth article by Ha’aretz. It is hair raising. Read it and weep.
