This is a man after my own heart. He speaks the truth. I have in fact said exactly the same things many times and in many different ways. But I think he probably says it better than I do.
I don’t know Uri Orbach. But I know where he is coming from in this article in Ynet. He comes from a place called common sense in a sane world that is slowly disappearing. We are increasingly living in a world gone mad. A world where extremes are now considered the norm. This is especially true in Israel and is most demonstrable in matters of Tznius between men and women in the exponentially growing population of Charedim.
Of course it isn’t limited to Israel. And Mr. Orbach and I are not alone in seeing through this nonsense that passes for Frumkeit. There are many others. In this vein, Rabbi Aaron Rakeffet gave a lengthy attack against the current trend in separate seating at weddings in one of his Shiurim few years ago.
I have railed against some of the unreasonable innovations instituted by Charedi leaders in recent times. In Israel outdoor concerts have been banned even if there is separate seating. And Tznius ‘courts’ that certify clothing stores only if they maintain the most extreme interpretations of Tznius are just two examples of it.
Mr. Orbach correctly laments the growing trend in Mehadrin buses. And the way it is being promoted involves the same kind of psychological coercion as are all other such trends do in the insular and highly conformist world of Charedim. As most people who read this blog know, these buses already exist. A Mehadrin bus is one that has separate seating… men in front; women in back. The lengths that some of their extremist constituency goes has been demonstrated numerous times in just this past year… where women were physically beaten for violating that norm.
Now I agree that some people might prefer this. But I truly question whether all Charedim do. They might all say they do, but is that because of societal pressure? Or do they really mean it?
In America most Charedim wouldn’t dare have a mixed wedding for their children. But how do they feel about attending one? They should ask themselves what they truly prefer attending. Are they happier sitting with their spouses or are they happier when they arrive, they split up until they are ready to leave? It has been my experience that most Charedim are far happier when they get to sit with their spouses and other couples.
The same thing is true for Mehadrim buses. I know that my when my parents were elderly and lived in Bnei Brak they preferred sitting together on a bus. My mother is one of the most Tzanua women I ever knew, but she also was very close to my father and hated being separated from him for any length of time. I wonder how many other elderly people feel that way… and yet are forced either by public pressure or circumstances to ride a bus separately.
Here is Mr. Orbach’s opening paragraph:
In 10 years, the ultra-Orthodox will start missing the mixed-gender buses. You would be able to hear an old Orthodox man telling his wife: “you remember, Rivkah, that 10 years ago we could still ride the bus together?” And Rivkah would confirm: “Sure I remember. And we came out just as good as our children. But you know how it is. Everyone likes to invent new regulations.”
This really rings true for me. The Charedi world ought to take a good hard look at it. These could be their grand parents or even their parents in a few years. How far to the right do we have to go before we return to our senses?
