Sunday, November 29, 2009

Spitting for God

There are a group of young men in Israel who set the standard for bringing Moshiach. What is nice about it is that two disparate groups have joined forces here, Charedim and Religious Zionists. I assume the latter stem from the Chardal side of the Religious Zionist aisle. But there is no better cause than what they jointly work for. Someone has finally put their foot down and said, “No More!” We are not going to let Christianity destroy us. We will not allow them to take over Jerusalem. We finally have people who are willing to stand up for Kavod HaTorah!

What is it they do? Well for the glory of God whenever they see a a Christian clergyman or nun in the street they spit on them. How wonderful it is to see our youth putting into practice what they have been taught about Goyim. Spitting on Esav and his ilk. What a Kiddush HaShem. They honor God and the Jewish people. I stand in awe of what they do! Such courage! Such determination!

They are the ones who are honoring God and the Jewish people. Not the Yeshiva Bachurim who learn with Hasmadah Rabba. Not those who constantly do acts of kindness. Not those who pray with sincere devotion three times every day. And certainly not Israeli Soldiers who put their lives on the line every day. But these spitters! They are the ones who God loves the most! I just wish they had been doing this sooner. Just think how much more could have been accomplished!

How wonderful is Thy nation O’ Lord!

I think we all ought to take a cue from them. I urge every Jewish man woman and child to do the following. Next time you see a priest or nun – or any kind of Christian clergy from any denomination, get up really close and spit on them. Make sure your spittle is full and complete – from deep in your throat, not one of those wimpy spray jobs. Hork it up! Trust me it’s worth taking the time. This will surely enhance our stature with God and bring Moshiach.

I would suggest we do this to every Conservative and Reform rabbi too, since in some ways they are even worse than Christians. They have after all led more people astray than Christian clergy ever did or could. Charity begins in the home (or something like that). Let us all unite - Charedim and Modern Orthodox alike in common cause and ‘Spit for God’.

Ashkenazi Chief Rabbi Yona Metzger is on record objecting to this. But he's wrong. Who does he think he is anyway? Besides he wouldn't know a Kiddush Hashem if it spit on him!

Post Script: It has been brought to my attention that there are actually people who might read this post and take it seriously. I didn't think it was possible to see this as anything other than a sarcastic rebuke of those who would do something as vile and stupid as this.

Unfortunately I have been reminded that this kind of behavior is not as far fetched as I wish it were. How sad! So let me be clear. What these people did is a massive Chilul HaShem for which there may be no Teshuva. I hang my head in shame!

Updated: 1:22 PM CST