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| Chaim Levin and friends - parties to a lawsuit against JONAH Photo Credit: AP via 5TJT |
after going to all boys schools/yeshiva i was suffering from SSA and Jonah helped me marry a woman and have a family.
First the disclaimer: The Torah tells us that homosexual sex
(a man lying with another man in the manner of a woman) is a sin. Homosexual
orientation is not.
These statements are not editorial comment. They are simply
facts. I’ve written about this very difficult subject many times and explaining
my views on the subject is not the
purpose of this essay.
JONAH is the acronym for Jews Offering New Alternatives
for Healing. This nonprofit organization - which I believe has some rabbinic backing - was set up for purposes of ‘converting’
gay men into straight men. A therapy that - it is increasingly becoming clear -
does not work.
I have been contacted by JONAH in the past with assurances
about the vast number of successes they have had. But I believe their successes
are the kind experienced by the person who wrote the above comment. More about that later.
I don’t know if there is a gay gene. But I have been
persuaded that same sex attraction (SSA) whatever its origin is ‘incurable’. If
someone’s earliest memories of sexual attraction are to the same sex, it is
most likely going to stay that way.
That is not to say that some people can’t be bi-sexual and
be attracted to both the same and the opposite sex. Perhaps that is one type of
individual JONAH might be successful with. But I do not believe they can successfully
change homosexuals into heterosexuals.
What about the above comment? … and the many testimonials by
those whom JONAH said they have ‘cured’? I believe that those people were heterosexual
from the start. But when in an all boys school during adolescence – when the
sex drive is very strong, some young people will sublimate and substitute.
They will have gay relationships as a substitute for heterosexual ones which
are of course taboo in Yeshivos. Girls do not exist in any incarnation in the
world of the Yeshiva High School. Especially the more right wing ones.
Those who succumb to their sexual urges and seek release may
find it with other like minded students and have some kind of sexual encounters
with them. They are heterosexual at the core. But they do become confused about
their own sexuality since they have been releasing their sexual urges with
members of the same sex – being the only sex available to them.
For these young men, JONAH and similar organizations will probably
work. They can be straightened out (No pun intended). But for someone who is ‘born’
gay, I do not believe that will happen.
I have no proof for any of this. But I believe that a lawsuit
being brought against JONAH will eventually bear me out.
I don’t know the people who run JONAH. They may be well intentioned But I do know the family of one of their former clients who –
along with other parents – are suing them. Although I do not know them
well I can say with complete confidence that they are among the finest
families in Chicago. They do not do things frivolously or vindictively. They
are hands on people in this town who contribute money and time to Yeshivos,
Kollelim, and just about every other worthy Jewish institution.
Their son is gay. I don’t know how they came to try JONAH - but
they did. Apparently their son was willing to try and ‘convert’ into a
heterosexual. That should not be surprising considering the way gay people are
still looked upon in the Orthodox Jewish community. To say that gay Jews have a
hard time being accepted is an understatement. And I can certainly understand
the desire of a religious Jewish parent to want a normal Torah lifestyle for
their child as an adult. Which of course includes getting married and having a
family.
That is not going to happen for their son. He is gay. But
not for a lack of trying to change him. It appears that Jonah has some sort of
rabbinical backing as well. So they tried. The results were devastating. The
descriptions of their ‘therapy’ (at a $10,000 per year fee) are hair raising.
To me they sound like borderline sex abuse. Here is a description from the 5
Towns Jewish Times (warning – graphic descriptions):
The therapy sessions, which cost up to $100 weekly, sometimes involved clients and counselors undressing in front of each other, according to the lawsuit.
The plaintiffs allege that some of the center’s ‘healing’ methods included encouraging ‘cuddling’ between younger clients and older male counselors and instructing attendees to get naked and hold their penises in front of Downing. Attendees were also asked to role-play as students in a locker room as others ridiculed them as ‘faggots’ and ‘homos,’ according to the lawsuit…
‘They play blindly with deep emotions and create an immense amount of self-doubt for the client. They seize on your personal vulnerability, and tell you that being gay is synonymous with being less of a man.’…
Unger said the counselors had convinced him and many other attendees that his mother was responsible for his homosexual tendencies.
These counselors are skilled at manipulating you into believing just about anything,’ he said. ‘During my time with JONAH, they told me constantly that my mom had made me gay. I was so convinced that I refused to have any contact with her for several months, which caused a great deal of damage to our relationship.’
Needless to say they failed. But more than that they were guilty of
destroying their sense of self worth. These are the kinds of experiences that
can lead to suicide. Something that the gay people are very vulnerable too and
have a high incidence of.
JONAH will of course have a chance to defend themselves at
trial – if this is not settled out of court. But my heart is with the
plaintiffs. Their families were hurt. They were hurt. They were subjected to
ridicule and degradation - not for their actions. Just for their orientation. And I hope they put JONAH out of business. There
is no way I can support the kind of ‘therapy’ described in the article. For
those whom therapy might work (as described above) I suggest licensed traditional therapists who have expertise in the field.
