Modiin Illit - Photo credit Israel Hayom |
Information gathered by the police has established that this
young girl was on her way to her kindergarten class when he grabbed her and
pulled her into a room – possibly the storage room of a Shul and committed
indecent acts – possibly including rape. After which he let her go.
When she arrived in school and the bruises on her body were
noticed by the teachers - the parents were notified and she was sent to a
hospital.
Sounds like a slam dunk. Everyone in that town seems to know
all the principles involved - the victim, her parents, the abuser, and his
family. Everyone except the police, that is.
This at a minimum is a case of sexual molestation and
battery. Of a 5 year old child! And yet
the parents will not press charges. No one in the city will even talk to the
police about it. In short this is being stonewalled. As though it never
happened.
Why? Because of fear. Fear of the rabbis. Fear that the
rabbis would get mad at them. And put them in quasi Cherem – effectively ostracizing
them from the entire community.
This kind of response is mind boggling! (I hate that overused
phrase already – but it fits.) By now just about
anyone who has the slightest inkling about what is going on in the world knows
the often permanently damaging effects on victims of sex abuse. Sometimes to the point of suicide. So too do most
people know to near certainty that an abuser will strike again. Either with
the same victim or with someone else’s child. And yet this community fears the
rabbis more then they want to protect their children.
The only explanation for this – if they are parents who
truly love their children – is that they do not know any of this. By living
their lives in total isolation they have opted to be ignorant of these facts.
Instead they buy into whatever their rabbis tell them will be best for the
community and their children. The spiel probably goes something like this:
You must also never tell anyone that your child was raped or
even sexually molested. They will never get married once people know. Not only
that, but none of your children will. Would you allow your child to get married
to someone who has been sexually abused? Or to one of their siblings? No, of
course you wouldn’t. You mustn’t divulge a thing to the world.
Your child will get over it, don’t worry. Just keep it all
to yourselves and let us (the rabbis) deal with the abuser. We will see to it
that he never does this again. We will see to it that he gets rabbinic counseling
and if that doesn’t work – we’ll throw him out of the community and you will
never have to worry about him again.
There is no point to going to the police as that will reveal
all to the world and ruin the reputation of a fine Torahdic family and ruin the
Shiddach chances of all their other wonderful children. Not only that - you will
ruin the reputation of the town, its rabbis, and even Yiddishkeit itself –
causing a major Chilul HaShem. Best be
quiet.
And besides if you do go to the police, you will regret it –
if you get my drift.
Except for the few brave individuals who spoke to the police
about it - this is the way the entire town must feel about divulging anything
they know.
We all know the arguments for isolating oneself from the
world. It is supposed to protect you from being contaminated by society’s
morally decaying culture. A noble goal,
but one with some very bad side effects. Isolation can also spell disaster for
your children. Ignorance about the facts of sex abuse can make them very much vulnerable
to attack. And the ignorant responses to it when it does God forbid happen can
only make matters worse.
Update
According to an item in the Jerusalem Post - it appears this story may be a hoax carried out by a victim of abuse herself when she was only 16. If that is true (which is as of yet unclear), then one must have compassion and understanding for this woman who obviously needs some therapy herself. That she felt she had to do this as a wake up call to a community that does not properly address these things speaks volumes all by itself... and kind of underscores some of the points made in this post anyway.
Update
According to an item in the Jerusalem Post - it appears this story may be a hoax carried out by a victim of abuse herself when she was only 16. If that is true (which is as of yet unclear), then one must have compassion and understanding for this woman who obviously needs some therapy herself. That she felt she had to do this as a wake up call to a community that does not properly address these things speaks volumes all by itself... and kind of underscores some of the points made in this post anyway.