I can understand that. Homosexuality had always been frowned
upon in society. People who had these tendencies were embarrassed by them and
tried to hide them. If someone was caught in a homosexual relationship or act,
he would pretty much be ostracized from his or her community. Until the 1970s homosexuality was indeed considered
abnormal – a psychological disorder that needed to be treated with
psychotherapy.
But in the 70s that all changed when mainstream psychology
declared homosexuality an alternative but normal lifestyle. Since then, this
community has been working diligently to get everyone to feel that way. Today,
in 2014, that seems to have taken place. Gay marriage has been legalized in
many states. And the public seems to have accepted it.
I can sympathize with those homosexuals that still feel ostracized
in the community. The three major faiths
consider the homosexual act to be a
sinful one. For Jews and Christians it is spelled out in the Bible. When a gay person that is raised in a
religious home is led to believe that God rejects them because of their attraction
to the people of the same sex, it can be pretty depressing in a clinical sense.
And that can and sometimes does lead to suicide. It doesn’t
help matters when you have organizations like JONAH that use aversion therapy to
try and change someone’s homosexual orientation.
For those who are not simply confused
about it and may not actually be homosexual, this kind of therapy might work.
But for those who are not confused about it and know that they are only
attracted to the same sex, it can be disheartening to go through the kind of embarrassing
treatment only to remain gay afterward. Add to that the societal rejection one
will get in a religious community, and one can see how someone would not want
to live like that… and may attempt to take their own lives in desperation.
So I understand the motivation behind a Pride Parade. It in essence
tells homosexuals that they should not pay any attention to anyone or any
community that shuns them. But instead have pride in who they are. If who they are
includes being gay, so be it. It’s nobody’s business who you love.
The problem is that a Pride Parade ends up being more than
that. And not in a good way. First of all it brings out some pretty disgusting
behavior by the more flamboyant drag queens. Lascivious public behavior
is unbecoming of a holy person. And yes, we Jews are a holy people chosen by
God to be so. And we are supposed to act like it.
But more than that, a pride parade ignores the sinful part
of being gay – acting on it in a way that the Torah forbids. The message of
this parade is that one need not worry about that… that expressing one’s love
in a sinful way is something to be proud of. Forget about
what an ancient and archaic book says about it. If it feels good, do it! Who
are you going to harm if it is an act done between 2 consenting adults?
The answer to that
question, if you are a believing Jew, is that you are harming yourself. God
does not approve of that behavior and has declared severe sanctions against it.
Actions have consequences. There may not be any earthly consequences for this behavior.
But surely there will be consequences in the world to come – if we violate His
word. A Pride Parade therefore sends the wrong message.
This does not mean that one Jew has a right to embarrass
another. Nor does it give them the right to somehow reject them from their
community. I’ve said this many times. It is no sin to be gay. It is only a sin
to act on it in ways that the Torah prohibits. We all have our Taavos – fantasies
that may or may not be permitted by Halacha. And we would love to act on them.
But we must refrain from doing so when the Torah forbids it. This applies to
both straight and gay people.
But if anyone succumbs to a sinful desire in the privacy of
their own bedroom, it is nobody’s business except God’s. It is completely unfair
to react with hostility to a potential sinner just because we know that their
desires may be against Halacha.
But at the same time, it is completely wrong in my view to
celebrate it in such a public way by parading with signs about being proud of
these desires. It would be like a parade about being proud of a desire to be Mechalel
Shabbos.
Showing public pride in a sinful desire is not something
that anyone should be doing. Yes, one should have pride in being who you are.
But when ‘who you are’ includes sinful desires, it ought not to be center of
focus. Not for gays. Not for straights. Besides - is the flaming 6 foot tall
muscular flaming drag queen the image that gay people want the world to have of
them? Because they are the ones getting all the media attention. From the Forward:
The most outrageous snapshots from any given Pride parade tend to be the most popular – six-foot drag queens (seven, if you count heels and hair,) chiseled go-go dancers in mini-Speedos, loads of glitter.Being gay – or straight - is nothing to celebrate. We are who we are. We should not judge anyone else based on their sexual orientation. It is not our business who others choose to love or live with. Unfortunately much of society is still repulsed by gay people. Especially religious society. And as I said that causes them much unhappiness, depression, and even suicide in some cases. That is wrong and societal attitudes ought to change. It’s nobody’s fault who they are attracted to. Human beings ought to be judged on the content of their character. Not on whom they love.
But to celebrate one’s homosexuality is the wrong way to go
about changing public attitudes. Aside from being wrong, I think it actually does more harm than good because
of what the media focuses on. But more importantly instead of just giving them
pride, it implies a seal of approval - a Hechsher if you will - to doing things
that are completely sinful. And that
ought to be protested.
