Guest Post by Yossie Litwak*
In a recent post I wrote about changes happening in the
Charedi world that impacts on their Shiddach situation. I received the
following e-mail from a young man deeply committed to the Charedi paradigm of
Torah study. In the interest of fairness and balance and in my continuous goal of seeking Emes and I have
decided to publish it. As a condition
for publication he asked that I not reveal his real identity. I agreed. His words
follow:
I enjoy your column but would like to respectfully disagree
on your recent post: Should Women Marry a Kollel Man. Before I start I'd like to tell you that I am 21
years old and just recently got back from a 3 year learning stint in
Israel. This can either be taken as "he's full of unreasonable and
illogical enthusiasm," or, as I like to see it in my friends
and myself, we are at the height of our spiritual growth. It's not a
coincidence that many people, as they live through more of life’s experiences,
lose touch with their original passion for Torah and its goals. I would like to
suggest that the fresh insights from a boy straight out of yeshiva
can have a lot of the truth, clarity, and honesty
that may get lost as people older, notwithstanding that the
boys' views may be unpolished, due to age.
The way our world works is that above
all else, a Jew is required to learn Torah. Period, end of story. Anyone
who denies this is not a believing, observant Jew. Notice - I didn't
say someone who doesn't learn Torah is not observant, rather someone
who denies that a Jew must learn.
To sit and learn all day in Kollel is a beautiful
thing. From what I have observed up close Kollel men are largely the best of
the best, elite of the elite. The way the world would work if we all had
unlimited money, and will work when mashiach comes,is that we'll
all be learning and essentially serving g-d full time a la “shivti b’veis
hashem kol yemei chayai”. Torah is not just another obligation to
quickly fulfill. Technically, merely saying shema would satisfy the
obligation to learn, but would totally
miss its spirit.
Now that that's established let's look at our
Kollel system. True, it is not a perfect system, but what
system is? Churchill famously said, “Democracy is the worst form of
government, except for all the others”. Experience shows that religious
Jews from all backgrounds appreciate its beauty. It's incredible!
Thousands upon thousands of young men learning all day, with beautiful middos,
families and hashkofos.
I did my research and found out that when this trend started
25-30 years ago everyone asked the same questions that they ask
now, "Who will support the next generation, etc." But
the fact is, they have, and still do, get by, and more
importantly, they end up preserving the beauty of total devotion to Torah.
Meaning that at the end of the day they are scraping and
getting by. Let's not focus on the rich parents scenario;
i.e. who support fully, forever, from unlimited cash, to fancy vacations,
to huge houses, because they are definitely in minority. Let's focus on
the majority of the Kollel world. Yes, there may be many sleepless nights,
psychological worries, fears of the future
(not that these phenomena aren't there in working
families) but - to repeat - they are getting by!!
Most Kollel families (and I mean real Kollel families, not
“52-week honeymooners” in Arzei Habirah) are not going on
vacations, not spending a dime more than they need to, not eating
fancy foods, not buying fancy clothes. They are scrimping and saving
and struggling, all to do the will of G-d to the best of
their understanding.
Those who experience it up close, as I recently have in
Israel, know that it’s truly a beautiful thing. You might tell
me that the system will collapse. But as
I have said, what's with the last 30 years, we are already
a couple of generations into it, to everyone’s surprise.
If these heroes of ours are willing to
scrimp, save and sacrifice in order to
learn, then to suggest that we pull them out of
yeshivas and/or discourage the next generation from attending Kollels can
be viewed as bitul Torah and, in my humble opinion,Jewish suicide!
One can argue that working families have more money and
are more comfortable etc.
But working families' needs are greater, no matter how much
a working man makes - he needs more. His standard of his cars, houses, and
vacations go up. A real Kollel man sacrifices all of these! He needs a
roof, food, and water. It may be very hard, but if they're willing to sacrifice
other pleasures, as many as there are, so be it!!!
For those among us who will be martyrs of physical
pleasure for the spiritual sake of the Jewish nation, that is their
struggle to decide to take on, and kol hakavod!
As I said before, if no one is keeling
over in the street because of lack of food and if these people keep
learning for the sake of g-d, then they should continue uninterrupted and
unchallenged!
In the year 2014, with all our
technology etc. which make it so easy to drag one
down, shouldn’t we be thrilled to know there are
such men who are our shining light through the heavy
darkness, keeping us a nation with a vibrant pulse, I know this
sounds highly idealistic but I believe in the strongest sense that it's all
true. Let us not be stuck on how we have done things in the past (eser
batlanim, etc.). Let us be modern in our thinking and be flexible and
innovative by focusing on today’s needs; which call for a dose of extra
ruchnius, more than we have ever needed.
One may also argue that not everyone belongs
in Kollel full time. I would respond to that argument with
my strongestagreement! My main point is NOT to
send all of the world’s Jewish youth to Kollel. Rather, that if
they choose to go on their own, let us applaud it rather than
denounce it, and recognize that at the end of the day, they will sacrifice,
and ultimately survive,all for the greater good of klal
yisroel. Is there social pressure to do this? Undoubtedly. Is it from
their rabbeim? Surely! But so is their core belief in Hashem, their commitment
to shmiras Shabbos and their concern for klal yisrael. Of the all the
pressures out there on our youth, mah tov that THIS is the pressure that is our
“problem”.
I do agree with your secular studies point - and
this Kollellifestyle is not for everyone obviously! However
if one wants to go, let him go! At the very least
let us, first and foremost recognize and celebrate all the
positive in Kollel, before focusing on the drawbacks.
Again, one may chalk all of this up
to youthful idealism or
naiveté, but I feel we are privileged that for the
first time in how many generations we have merited a dominant
national mindset to go learn G-d's Torah as a priority!
Let's embrace it, not challenge it! If these
noble Kollel men arephysically alive, strong willed, and battling,
then they're heroes of the highest regard!!
*Not his real name
