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| Mini-skirted protesters that were blocked from the Keneset (Forward) |
Are modesty standards relative to the culture? Well, yes and no.
Read on.
Yes, modesty is an issue in Judaism. Unfortunately when the word
modesty is used in the media, it usually refers to the way a woman should
dress. Meaning that women should not dress in ways that are sexually provocative. While that is one facet
of modesty, it is certainly not the only one. Modesty in the way we dress also
means not wearing showy clothing that brings attention to oneself even if they
are not sexually provocative. Modesty in dress applies to men as well.
One must not only dress modestly but act modestly. One must be
modest in all ways; the way we dress; the way we act; and the way we speak.
Interacting with our fellow human beings ought to be done with
respect and dignity even when there is strong disagreement between us. In this
sense blogs and their comment sections often fail. Far too many of us – myself included – fall
short. But in my case, and in those of others that identify themselves with our
real names, there is some degree of reticence to say things that would reflect
poorly on our character. We try and behave in ways that would not bring shame upon ourselves and our families.
Those that use aliases on the other hand have free reign to
say whatever they wish throwing modesty to
the wind! Some of the comments are so
insulting that if uttered by someone whose identity is known - they might end up being shunned by peers, friends, neighbors, and perhaps even family! Which is why I
am sometimes tempted to require people use their real names. That would prevent
some of the terrible insults one sometimes sees here.
Although that is one of the downsides of a comment forum that
allows for anonymity - it isn’t really what I wanted to address today. It is
modesty the way it is commonly thought of; dressing in sexually provocative
ways.
Obviously that issue is very subjective depending on the culture in which one lives.
In societies where all women wear Burkas, exposing any part of the body that is
not commonly seen in public can be provocative and is immodest. On the other hand there
are cultures where women normally walk around topless. (I’m sure those of us that are
old enough can remember those kinds of images in National Geographic.)
What about in cultures that have a variety of different demographics each with
their own sense of what is and isn’t modest? Surely the United States and
Israel are two such societies (as are many other societies in Western culture). In
the US we have women wearing Burkas and women who – when on mixed beaches wear
bikinis that are so skimpy they are practically naked!
In the American (and Israeli) street in the summer, one will
encounter all manner of dress with various levels of skin exposure, most of
which does not comply with any Orthodox modesty standards. In some cases - by far! Truth is that we are surrounded
by immodesty all year long. On billboards, magazines newspapers, TV and movies.
Even the business world that used to have stricter dress codes have given way
to dress codes that – not too many years ago - would have raised eyebrows – but
today hardly register a blip on anyone’s modesty ‘radar screen’.
How does this affect Orthodox Jews? Those of us that are not
isolated from the culture – and I include most Charedim – have learned to live
with it – whether we like it or not. If someone has a job where women are
present, invariably one will find themselves encountering women dressed in ways so provocative that virtually all Orthodox sectors do not consider modest in anyway. Especially in the
white collar working world.
Even if you purposely try to avoid such encounters
by isolating yourself in the cocoon of your community – as is the case in
places like Kiryas Joel or New Square, you will still encounter people who
dress provocatively when the need arises to leave that cocoon. Which happens
quite often albeit not as much than those of that do not live isolated lives.
Which brings me to what happened in the Keneset recently.
Apparently they now have a dress code for women working or entering there that
is in compliance with Halacha. Meaning a woman may not work there in a
miniskirt. I’m not sure who is responsible for these new rules, but I have no
doubt that it was the religious parties. They are the most sensitive to these
issues. Apparently most Keneset members were on board
with this.
A few days ago, '2 women were either turned away or delayed at the Knesset by guards because of what they were wearing'. As reported in the Forward, this did not sit well with a group of
women who felt this was discrimination. They all showed up at the Keneset one day dressed in miniskirts. I suppose they might have felt that they were dressed the way most women dress in Israel where short skirt lengths
are hardly an issue. Most religious Jews go on with their lives as they pass these people in the street without saying anything (most of the time).
I am reminded of the time R’ Shlomo Zalman Auerbach was sitting in
a bus when a woman who was clearly not
dressed modestly by Orthodox standards sat down next to him. Without comment,
he stood up and exited the bus at the next stop as though it was his stop. It wasn’t.
He got off a couple of stops early in order not to embarrass the woman. He realized that societal standards were not Halachic standards and he was not going to make an issue out of it by embarrassing someone.
Even though the protesters were dressed modestly by most standards - making sure to barely violate the dress code, they were wrong to do this. A reasonable dress code passed by a majority of the Keneset that is stricter than that of the street is a right that they have and ought not be protested. It ought to instead be complied with by everyone.
Decorum in a place like the Keneset matters. Where religious Jews sit and are offended by
immodest dress the decorum is clearly interrupted. It doesn’t really matter
that most people consider such dress modest enough by societal standards. Or
what they are used to seeing on the outside. Dress codes of any institution are
determined by the people who run them - not by the culture of the street.
If for example a restaurant requires a jacket to be worn by men,
they have the right to ask you to leave if you aren’t wearing one. By the same
token if the Keneset establishes a reasonable dress code in order to accommodate its
religious members - they have the right turn away those that do not comply. Miniskirts are no different than shoes in this
respect. If the Keneset dress code requires
wearing shoes and someone comes in barefoot, the Keneset has every right to deny
them entry. Same thing with miniskirts. Simple as that.
Which in my view makes a fool out of Zionist Union lawmaker
Manuel Trajtenberg who stripped down to an undershirt in solidarity with the
women. Really? Is stripping down to your shirt in compliance with the decorum
one should expect in that august body? Not in my book. He was immodest in the truest sense of the word.
