 |
| Image from Project Inspire |
I belong to a Facebook group where OTDs and observant Jews
dialogue. One of the observant participants there asked a question about how
OTDs would feel about Kiruv. I started to
think about that. The following includes some of my thoughts about 2 very
distinct types of Kiruv. One is towards those that were never observant. The
other towards those that once were - but no longer are.
In our day, most non observant Jews are not observant through
no fault of their own. It is mostly out of sheer ignorance. Educating such Jews will sometimes generate a willingness
to try observance out at some level. On the other hand most such Jews probably
won’t - simply because they have been raised to see nothing wrong with their
non observant lifestyle and are quite content to live they way they were raised.
Which in our day has become slippery slope out of Judaism altogether.
It is also true that even for those non observant who are
serious about their Judaism, it is difficult to change a lifestyle of complete
freedom to one of many restrictions.
In some cases non observant Jews have been so strongly indoctrinated
to believe in a Judaism that has been reformed for purposes of assimilating into
the modern world, they will resent Kiruv. Once you reject any semblance of a particular Jewish identity and substitute an amorphous ideal like Tikun Olam - you have in effect rejected Judaism entirely.
Tikun Olam can apply to any human being that cares about
others. Not just Jews. Why then why bother with
the label ‘Jew’? Who cares about that when all that matters is social justice?
This is the sad reality infecting an increasing number of the 90% of American
Jews that are not Orthodox.
Be that as it may, that is what Kiruv is mostly about. The question is how do we go about it? How do
we reach out to non observant Jews most of whom are ignorant of their heritage -
giving them a chance to know what Judaism is really all about?
And what about a Shana U’ Pireish – someone that was raised
to be observant but went of the path of observance - most commonly referred as OTD
the acronym for Off the Derech? Derech
is Hebrew for path. (I use the term OTD only as an easy way to identify them. Not because I particularly like the term and understand why they don’t.)
Reaching out to those with no background is what the vast
majority of Kiruv groups do. Chabad and NCSY being 2 of the more successful among
them although by far not the only successful ones. I am not personally involved with any Kiruv group. But I have seen them
at ‘work’. The best way I can sum up their successes is in how they present the
‘product’ - observant Judaism.
The basic component of success is to focus on the positive side of observance
- avoiding completely the ‘fire and brimstone’ approach. To show the beauty of
living an observant lifestyle that by virtue of that observance. Where family
values are stressed. For example by
emphasizing the Mitzvah of getting married and having children – and the fact
that family time is enhanced by the most identifiably observant Mitzvah in all
of Judaism: Shmiras Shabbos (Sabbath observance).
Perhaps of greater importance is to become a role model. I believe that
is the best way to promote an observant lifestyle. The idea is that if people
like you and like what you’re ’selling’ they will want to be like you and want
to buy your product. What about the ideology behind observance? That comes
later.
While this is a bit of an oversimplification, I believe this
is in essence how Kiruv works best. I
should add that this is all done at a pace consistent with the ability for each
individual to change his or her habits. In most cases this means incrementalism.
Doing it all at once can and often does end with not doing it at all. New
observance is best when initiated by the individual themselves and not by the
person doing the outreach. One Mitzvah at a time done in the most lenient
method possible.
But what about Kiruv for those who have gone OTD? Is that even
possible? The fact is that most Jews who have gone OTD resent the term. They do
not consider themselves to have gone of the right path. They have just chosen different
path. One which to them is more legitimate than the one they left.
How do we convince them that they have made a mistake? They
will surely say that we are the ones that are mistaken in our observance! Frankly,
I’m not sure there is a good way to answer that question. The things that you
are trying to convince them to do, they have done and rejected.
Let me suggest however that not all of them are lost to
Judaism forever. A lot depends on why they left in the first place. And there
are probably as many reasons or combinations of reasons as there are Jews that
went OTD. I don’t think any of those reasons can’t be challenged. But some are
more difficult to challange than others.
The hardest reason to disabuse OTD Jews of is when
they question the very existence of God - the so called weak-atheist or agnostic.
Not that it is impossible to reach out to them. But is extremely difficult.
Then there are those that may believe in God but question the truth of the
Torah by virtue of its contradictions with science. And/or various disciplines that
offer alternative explanations of the bible which are unacceptable to Judaism. Those too
are difficult (but also not impossible) to reach out to because of the evidence they
find which supports their doubts.
I believe that the vast majority of OTDs are those that have
left for emotional reasons. In some cases they also become aware of those
contradictions and/or alternative explanations making it difficult to reach out
to them as well. Again, this doesn’t mean we should try. But I admit it is a
very steep uphill road to climb – and beyond the scope of this post.
That leaves those who have left for emotional reasons mostly
having to do with some sort of abuse, be it mental, physical, or sexual. Whether
in the home or in school or by peers (as in the case of bullying). They have
become so disillusioned by the pain and suffering they have experienced that
they have stopped believing in a religion that would allow them to be treated
this way.
We all know of tragedies that have happened to these kinds
of OTDs. It ranges from turning towards a destructive life style (of sex, alcohol,
and/or drugs) to suicide in some cases.
How do we reach out to them? I wish I had the perfect
formula for that. Or any formula at all. I don’t. I will however suggest that
they can reasonably be reached. It takes a lot of effort. And perhaps more importantly
a lot of training in the field of mental health. And some overcome the trauma that
led them to go OTD and eventually lead normal productive lives without being
observant at all.
I think the key ingredient in reaching out to OTDs is to not be
judgmental. To befriend and accept the individual for who he is now. And respect his views no matter how much you disagree with those views. Even if he
is not observant at all. To be sympathetic to his issues. To not preach at them
at all but instead to be a role model - demonstrating in a passive way that an
observant religious lifestyle is still the best option for a Jew to live by… the
best path to a meaningful and fulfilling life.
You may not succeed, but what have you got to lose versus
what you will gain in fulfilling the Mitzvah of Arvus?
Just some of my thoughts.
