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| Jewish Week -Times of Israel image for illustration purposes only |
Which is complete nonsense! As Rav Soloveitchik plainly observed decades ago, women are now achieving PhDs in
the most difficult areas of study. Areas that require a high degree of intelligence It is absurd to
say that they do not think deeply enough to study Torah in depth.
So I completely understand why Dasi Shneider was insulted by how the people that ran the recent Siyum treated
women. Here is how she described it in JOFA (Jewish Orthodox Feminist Alliance) blog-post featured in the Jewish Week-Timesof Israel:
The magazine geared towards the men was filled with tidbits of history, stories of sacrifice for the sake of Torah study, and pictures of gedolim.
The one for women was…disappointing, to say the least.
We were given recipes ideas and article after article telling us that our only merit lies in how supportive we are of our husbands and sons as they pursue Torah study.
To say that I am angry would be an understatement. I am livid. Did the creators of this magazine think that women’s minds can’t handle a few divrei Torah? Did they really think that the only thing we would care about during a monumental celebration of Torah would be what we should cook once we got home?
The message was clear: our place is in the kitchen, not the beit midrash.
I don’t blame Ms. Schneider for feeling this way. She was in fact ‘told’ in so many words that
she’s too stupid to do what her husband and sons do. And that all she can hope
for is to support them in their Torah study. And that her lot in life as a
woman is to be basically ‘barefoot, pregnant, and in the kitchen.’
Why must the Charedi world see women in this way?
I blame it in part on their refusal to recognize the value of virtually anything outside of their world. I also
blame it on a sort of backlash against feminism. They see any assertion by women to be
treated in any way as an equal to men as anathema to Torah values.
What about what about what Rav Soloveitchik said? They could not care less about his views. That was reflected in notorious obituary they wrote upon
his death where they basically said he went OTD! An obituary that was approved by their leadership!
I do not want to belabor that point. I mention it only to
show how little they care about what he thinks.
Jewish women deserve to be treated with respect. Not only
for what they can contribute in the kitchen. Not only for supporting their
husbands in their Torah study. But respected for the intelligent human
beings they are.
That being said I found Ms. Schneider's attitude about the
traditional role of women to be highly condescending. Yes. Se does make a very
valid point. But that should in no way should detract from the actual
sacrifices that these women were given credit for by the Charedi world.
Of course
she didn’t say so in so many words. But her article said nothing about those virtues.
As though it was beneath the dignity of a woman to assume the traditional roles as full time wives, mothers, and homemakers . Roles
that our mother and grandmothers gladly fulfilled. And felt fulfilled about.
How can anyone be so condescending about the way our female ancestors lived?! Do they think that those women felt like
second class citizens? Does she think they secretly wanted to learn Torah but were too scared to say it out loud? Were
those women ignorant fools who did not
know better? Is being a female Talmid
Chachama a greater accomplishment than being a full time wife, mother and homemaker? Does she think so little of the generations that preceded her? Does she think those roles were perpetuated because of a paternalistic society raised on misogyny? Is that what she thinks of our sages?
Yes, I know women can walk and chew gum. But just because they
want to do things differently now and maybe inhabit both worlds does not mean
they should look down at the many women that are happy to live their lives in
the traditional roles their mothers and grandmothers did.
It is almost as though feminists like Ms Schneider have
something to prove. They want to prove they can compete with men equally in
everything. Or maybe even better than men. Its almost like that old song, Anything You Can Do which pits men and women together with each sex claiming they can do better then the other.
That is a bridge too far for me. As much as I sympathize
with Ms. Schneider’s feeling about how she was treated, I am disappointed at
the lack of sensitivity given to traditional female roles. As if being a full time wife, mother and homemaker is
something to be ashamed of.
I don’t know if Ms. Schneider is more concerned about
advancing the cause of feminism then she is about advancing the cause of
Judaism. But at some point she might have to make a decision about which value
to sacrifice if they come into conflict. If she can’t accommodate both,
which one will she choose?
