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| R' Ze'ev Kraines - whose pre-observant past was a positive influence |
This is a reference to all of us. The implication being that
it is better to have sinned and do sincere Teshuva than to have never have sinned at
all. The Gemarah elsewhere tells us that with very few exceptions in Jewish
history, we all sin. Which means that we should all be Baalei Teshuva so that
we can actually achieve that high level – the epitome of righteousness.
More commonly however the term Baal Teshuva refers to
someone that was not raised in an observant home (in some cases an anti
religious home) and found the truth of observant Judaism. I believe the Gemarah’s
comment applies this kind of Baal Teshuva, too.
Unfortunately, the Baal Teshuva is more often treated with disdain rather than with the
honor the Gemarah tells us they deserve.
Personally I have always seen the Baal Teshuva in the kind
of favorable light the Gemarah says we
should. How could I not?! These are people that lived comfortably in their
former lives without any of the restrictions and responsibilities that those of
that have been raised in observant homes do. They
have taken upon themselves all it – which changes their way of
life dramatically.
Sometimes at the cost
of losing the respect of the own family. Imagine what it must be like for a Baal
Teshuva never be able to eat in his parents home again without bringing his own food. Imagine how their
parents feel about that. These are parents that love them and whom they love.
They also know that the observant community they have
now joined will not fully accept them as equals. Or at least they will soon find
that out. And yet they remain committed to observant Judaism because they see
that as God’s eternal truth. That is the kind of commitment those of us raised in observant homes rarely achieve. I have no
words! No words that can truly express my admiration for people like that.
But that is not the way many other observant Jews see them.
Especially those that are more to the right. (Although some of that exists even
among Modern Orthodox Jews too, it is far less common there).
The reason for that might be because of the fact that more
right wing an observant Jew is, the more his lifestyle will differ from the way
the Baal Teshuva was raised. Although they would never say so to their face, they
look at the Baal Teshuva as different… as an outsider in many respects. Most
often when it comes to Shiduchim. Telling a Charedi parent that a prospective
Shidduch is a Baal Teshuva is pretty much the death knell to any possible date.
Why is that? Among other things
there is a fear that their non-observant past will come back to haunt them in
way that will be harmful to the spiritual growth of the children. They fear that past influences will somehow negatively
manifest themselves in how they raise their children.
Those who are the most
insulated from the outside world see virtually all such influences in a negative way. They also see the Baal Teshuva as a
compromised observant Jew – awkward in their newly adopted observances and
therefore not quite fitting into their world. A world that has no past ‘baggage’
to deal with.
How sad it is to not see some of that ‘baggage’ as a strength
instead of a weakness. That is in fact
the point of yet another excellent column by Jonathan Rosenblum – himself a Baal
Teshuva. How right he is.
In his latest Mishpacha Magazine column he laments the fact that in the course of writing the biography about the legendary outreach personality, Rabbi Meir Schuster he was nevertheless:
…saddened by the number of those who feel deeply indebted to Rabbi Schuster, but who nevertheless asked that their names be left out of the book because they or their children feared the possible impact on Shidduchim.
To counter that notion, Jonathan then tells us about a recently deceased close friend that was the subject of an earlier column. Rabbi Ze’ev Kraines was a Baal Teshuva whose pre-observant past is actually a strength. Not a weakness:
My recently deceased friend, Rabbi Ze’ev Kraines, about whom I wrote two weeks ago, exemplified a healthy relationship with his past. At the shivah house, I discovered that all his children knew the story of his abbreviated valedictory speech at his Fairfax High School graduation in the Hollywood Bowl — abbreviated because the school administrators had him pulled from the podium, as he launched into a litany of typical early-’70s attack on the Vietnam War and a host of societal ills.
The rest of the 1,200-strong class (largely Jewish) then sat down and started chanting, “Let him speak,” as police helicopters circled above. When he told me the story a few years later, Reb Ze’ev took particular delight in the scene of his mother running after those hustling him away, shouting, “Don’t hurt my Warren.”
Over the years, I’ve noticed that the most successful baalei teshuvah are often the ones who see the changes in their lives as an outgrowth of the values with which they were raised and particular parental virtues — commitment to truth, concern for others, pride in being Jewish.
Let me repeat what is perhaps the most important observation
made by Jonathan:
(T)he most successful baalei teshuvah are often the ones who see the changes in their lives as an outgrowth of the values with which they were raised.
If only the constituency to which he addresses this column
would recognize that the outside world does have positive values that can and
do have a positive influence on the Baal Teshuva. Values that have been
instilled in them well before they ever even heard the word ‘Frum’. And not see
their past as the decadent and valueless one the right is indoctrinated to believe
about anything to do with the outside world.
Jonathan’s point is reflected in the title of that column:
But I doubt that the world of the right will
ever allow their Baalei Teshuva to feel that way. Maybe not intentionally. Maybe in theory they do fully accept them.
They surely pay lip service to the opening line of this post. But they will no
doubt continue to see the Baal Teshuva as a second class ‘citizen’. And the Baal
Teshuva will continue to suffer the consequences and therefore continue to hide and even completely reject their ‘ugly’
past as much as they can.
How sad that
the words of the Gemarah are so completely ignored.
