To reiterate what I have said a great many times on this
subject - I do not fault any human being for having sexual desires that are
biblically forbidden to act upon. As long as they don’t act upon them, they
have done nothing wrong. And if they succumb to a forbidden desire, it is not
anyone’s business as long as they do not try to legitimize those acts.
Legitimizing an act which is forbidden by the Torah is where
I part company with those who advocate for gay rights. I hope that Orthodox homosexuals
would agree with me on this. There is a difference between asking that society
respect them as equal human beings – something I advocate – and asking society
to consider their behavior to be morally neutral. That is what gay marriage is
all about – normalizing gay behavior. And it seems that the leader of the free
world now agrees with that proposition.
The argument by those who favor gay marriage is the
libertarian idea that as long as it doesn’t affect me personally, what
difference does it make if two men or two women want to have the legal – if not
religious – sanction of marriage? If that’s what they want, what business is it
of mine? It should not have any impact on me or any religious consequences.
I understand that perspective. But I do not agree that
granting government sanction on an act that is biblically prohibited has no
impact on the rest of society.
Making the statement that in America homosexual sex and
heterosexual sex are morally equal and simply a lifestyle choice – like buying
a sports car instead of a sedan counters a fundamental biblical prohibition. The more societal acceptance given to this alternative
lifestyle the more difficult it will be to teach the religious perspective of
it to our children.
The bible’s value on
gay sex will be seen as archaic. How do you instill into your children a religious value
when the culture of your country sees that value as ridiculous? How do you see gay
sex any different than Vice president Biden does when he said it’s all about commitment…
it’s all about who you love – not how you love?
This isn’t just an Orthodox Jewish concern. It is a concern
for every single religious human being of the three major faiths.
As sympathetic as I am to people who are attracted to members
of their own sex, I am not sympathetic to normalizing biblically forbidden
sexual acts. As much as I advocate that homosexuals ought to be treated with
the same respect that heterosexuals are treated – and given the same rights, I
do not respect formally sanctioning a gay relationship through the institution
of marriage.
Why is this happening now? It didn’t start yesterday. If one
goes back just a few decades to the 60s homosexuals were mostly in the closet.
Very few would admit publically that they were gay. The stigma would ruin their
lives and careers. It would tear families apart. Homosexuals were socially
ostracized and ridiculed behind their backs. Sadly that still happens today.
Young students that are openly gay or suspected of it are subject to bullying
by their fellow students. In one case not long ago a gay student was so badly
beaten that he died as a result of it.
But even though this kind of tragic thing still happens - the
public perception of homosexuals as flaming drag queens has been changed. Much
of it by through sympathetic portrayals of homosexuals over the years in the
movies, on TV, and on the stage.
But the coup de grace that was the death knell to the
negative images of homosexuals was the TV series Will and Grace (no pun intended). The image of the flaming gay gave
way to an image of a completely normal individual in the person of ‘Will’. The
image presented was of a man who any mother would want their daughter to marry
- were he straight.
He was presented as normal as could be with many positive traits:
a sense of humor, well groomed, well mannered, kind, and considerate …and very good
looking. He had a highly developed sense of ethics and even sexual morality. Another
gay character on that show was presented more stereotypically, but even his
character was presented in a sympathetically humorous and lovable way.
Will and Grace was
a very popular show and lasted many seasons. It gave America a new image of the
gay man as a normal man whose only difference was his attraction to men rather than
women. So normal and likable was he that his counterpart on that show, Grace,
made a point of always comparing her dates to him – usually in a less favorable
way.
Suddenly the country saw that being gay was indeed just a
lifestyle choice – an identity issue that is best left to the individual. The abomination
factor that used to keep homosexuals in the closet has mostly disappeared.
That is not in and of itself a bad thing. We ought not to
feel disgust when encountering an openly gay person. The disgust - if there is
any - should only be at sinning, not at orientation. We ought to treat gay
people no different than we treat heterosexuals.
But now we are being asked to formally sanction their
behavior through marriage. That is what marriage does – just as it sanctions
any marital act in a heterosexual marriage. That is not a value we ought to be
incorporating into a society - the vast majority of which believe in a bible
that considers these acts to be a grave sin. And I am disappointed that the
President thinks this is a good idea.
