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| Among those pictured in a 2010 photo are many of BMG's Roshei Yeshiva |
The fact that he is guilty is not a surprise since he had
already admitted it during a session with a therapist. He nonetheless pleaded
not guilty at trial. He changed his plea when other victims came forward.
In an earlier post I thought that this event would damage the
reputation of BMG’s (Lakewood) rabbinic leaders. That’s because of the emotional torture some of them put the victim’s father through. His father was a respected Talmid Chacham in
Lakewood. When he learned that his son had been abused he dutifully went to the rabbis to report it. Those rabbis ordered a psychological evaluation of Kolko. The
father decided not to bring this matter to the authorities if Kolko would
continue his therapy. But when he found out that Kolko stopped doing that and
was still involved with children in his
teaching position, he did the right thing and went to the police.
For that his community ‘thanked’ him by mentally torturing
him, calling him Moser (informer) and completely dishonoring him. Some of the
more zealous Charedi citizens of Lakewood published all kinds of nasty words about
him. And one very prominent Rosh Yeshiva in New York actually wrote a letter implying
that the father is a liar and probable sex abuser himself!... and that Kolko
was completely innocent… that it was impossible that he would ever do the
things he was being accused of! The family was so harassed that they ended up
moving to Michigan!
I don’t see how these rabbinic figures can now live with themselves.
Perhaps they can be given a pass before
now since they always seem to find it so hard to believe someone like Kolko
could ever do the things he was accused of. Perhaps there might be some
understanding of such bias- even in the face of a history of sex abuse by such
people in their midst. I know it’s hard to believe that about someone who exhibits
exemplary religious behavior and is a popular teacher. The passion involved in
protecting Kolko, whom they believed to be innocent is understandable.
And viewing the accuser as a Moser may be understandable too.
But now that the truth is out, I don’t see how they can
claim to have the higher moral ground here. Nor do I see their reputation not
being tarnished. Especially since there is hard published evidence of the emotional
abuse they inflicted.
Rabbi Daniel Eidensohn put it well on his own blog last
week. Lakewood will survive and no one will do anything about it. But their reputation
will be tarnished.
Nonetheless, I don’t see how anything less than a full
apology and restoration of the father’s reputation and career in Lakewood will
suffice. An apology by all those who so viciously and emotionally abused him and his family. On this day before Shavuos, there is no
better time to do so.
