The End of the Line?

*A group of five feminists, including novelist Naomi Ragen, has petitioned BaGaTz against the Mehadrin lines maintained by two publicly-subsidized bus companies: Egged and Dan. Petitioner do not demand the immediate cessation of Mehadrin service, but rather that the Court order the Transport Ministry to conduct a study of the necessity of separate seating bus lines and require Mehadrin buses to be clearly labeled.

At the hearing before BaGaTz, a good deal of attention is likely to focus on an incident that took place on the number 2 bus between Har Nof and the Kotel last November 24. In a widely circulated Email, Mrs. Miriam Shear, an Orthodox grandmother from Toronto described an alleged attack on her that day. According to her Email, she rode the number 2 bus to the neitz minyan at the Kotel daily over a period of five weeks that she was visiting in Jerusalem. Though that particular bus line is not a Mehadrin line, the majority of passengers on the line are chareidi, and she was asked on a number of occasions to move to a seat on the back of the bus. In each case, she refused.

According to the Email, on the morning in question, a male passenger told Mrs. Shear that he wanted to sit in her seat and asked her to move to the back of the bus. She noted that there were two open seats in front of her and another across the aisle, and again refused. At that point the man spit at the middle-aged grandmother, and she reciprocated in kind. That led to a knockdown brawl, in which Mrs. Shear’s hair-covering fell off and was thrown out of her reach, she was kicked in the face, and she was surrounded and jostled by four men, including the original assailant. (I was able to confirm from Mrs. Shear’s host in Har Nof that she returned home hysterical from this encounter and with a badly swollen face.)

Predictably, this particular Email began spread like wildfire through cyberspace. Mrs. Shear was sought out for feature stories and interviews by some of the world’s largest TV and print media, most of which, to her credit, she refused. Equally predictably, a Reform leader penned an op-ed piece in the Jerusalem Post in which he compared Mrs. Shear to Rosa Parks, the black woman whose refusal to move to the back of a public bus in Montgomery, Alabama helped spark the American civil rights movement. For good measure, he also compared chareidim to the Taliban in Afghanistan, and that comparison has been picked up and repeated ad nauseum.

If BaGaTz eventually bans Mehadrin public buses, those who were so insistent that Mrs. Shear vacate her seat will have made a significant contribution to the final decision. Certainly they have already made helped make Torah Judaism appear as something ugly and fanatical in the eyes of hundreds of thousands around the world.

It is unlikely, however, that those involved in the bus incident will ever know of their “achievements.” But what concerns me more is the fear that even if they knew of them that they would have no regrets. There is, unfortunately, a small, but not negligible, segment of our community for whom the image of Torah Judaism in the larger world is a matter of utter indifference. All that matters, in any given situation, is what they perceive as the immediate religious imperative. Concern with the spiritual state of their fellow Jews is not even on the radar screen.

No doubt among my readers there are those who will point the finger of blame at Mrs. Shear: Why couldn’t she have moved to the back of the bus? Why did she have to distribute her Email so widely, knowing that it would generate great attention? And perhaps they are right.

But to focus only on her actions is to miss the point. There is a growing tendency in our community to attempt to impose our halachic standards, even chumrot, whenever we have a momentary majority, such as on the early morning bus to the Kotel. Even leaving aside the consequences of such a strategy on the attitude of traditional and secular Jews towards the chareidi community and Torah itself, I fear it is a dangerous approach.

Democracy may not be the Torah’s ideal form of government, but in recent history it has generally proven to be the best protector of the rights of Jews and of our ability to flourish as Torah Jews. Therefore Torah Jews have an interest in playing by the rules of a democratic society. If we want the majority of Israeli society to respect the rights of the chareidi minority, then we have to also respect the rights of the majority.

To argue that the rules of the game followed by Torah Jews in America do not apply to the chareidi community in Israel is, in my mind, a perverse form of Zionism.

Adopting violence as a tool would be a disastrous mistake, even from the most narrow and short-range perspective. As Yossi Sarid and other secular politicians have been only too happy to remind us over the years, at the end of the day, the secular public is much larger and has lots more guns.

Separate seating on buses may be a very positive thing. And if it is important enough to the chareidi community, then the community will support our own separate bus lines (though hopefully not by throwing stones at competing public lines, as has happened in Ramat Beit Shemesh).

But separate seating is not the only Torah value at stake. Yereim v’shleimim in New York regularly ride the New York City subways, on which the crowding is far greater than anything experienced on Egged buses in Jerusalem. And the late posek hador, Rabbi Moshe Feinstein, zt”l, long-ago ruled that there was not even the hint of an issur d’rabbanan in riding New York City subways.

As in so many cases, if we don’t keep values in perspective, we risk losing much more, including the command to make Torah beloved through our actions. The pending BaGaTz is but one example.

*Do these lines sound vaguely familiar? Have you heard me say them before? Well I have, more or less. But these words are not my own. They are the words of Rabbi Jonathan Rosenblum from a verbatim article posted on cross-currents and published in Mispahcha. Of course I agree with it in its entirety and salute him for his courage in writing it.

The Woman Who Would Be Rosa

There has been a letter floating around the internet about an incident that happened to a Frum woman on a bus that goes to the Kotel. It is kind of a turn on the Rosa Parks story.

The number two bus in Jerusalem whose route takes it from Har Nof to the Kotel is frequented mostly by Charedim. As such it has an unofficial status as a “Mehadrin” bus. Mehadrin busses are specially designated busses by Egged to serve the Charedi community with respect tp its religious sensibilities. Specifically separating the sexes, men in the front and women in the back. Why the back for women? Because, based on a Gemarah, a man is not supposed to look at the back of a woman. So women sit in the back, men in the front… problem solved. Except for the fact that women end up being second class citizens. Well, you might say it can’t be helped. It’s Halacha… you see. Besides, I’ve sat in the back of a bus. Not really so terrible. Not much worse than the front.

But is it Halacha? I don’t think so. If it were, no one would ever be permitted to take any bus anywhere that wasn’t segregated by sex. And we know that isn’t the case. So what the Mehadrin bus is doing is simply being sensitive to a Chumra. But… be that as it may. That is the custom that has evolved in Israel. There are official Mehadrin busses that segregate the sexes. And there are unofficial busses that operate this way.

There is an American Oleh, a Frum woman who would have none of that. She was going to pull a “Rosa Parks”. She decided that she wanted to go to the Kotel and Daven K’Vasiken. Every day. She took the number two bus, but instead of going to the rear she decided to sit in the “Men’s section”. Halacha was after all on her side. Why should she be relegated to second class citizenry? Besides, the number two buss is not a Mehadrin bus. It was a regular bus where people could sit where they wished. But, no one thinks of it that way. The vast majority of people using it are Charedi and treat it as a Mehadrin bus. That’s the way it’s been for years.

Well, after a few weeks of traveling this way and getting stares and comments from the Charedi passengers, men and women alike… all hell broke loose. A Charedi man decided he wasn’t going to take it anymore. He went over to her and asked for her seat and told her to move to the rear. Here is her account of what followed:

“I smiled and said, "I'm sorry, I'm not moving but there are 2 seats in front of me, 1 across the aisle - you can sit there". He refused and demanded MY seat. I was somewhat amused at this childish and arrogant behavior but told him again, politely and quietly, that I am not moving and that if he really, really wants to sit here, he could even sit in the empty seat next to me. But - I'm not moving. This man stared at me for about 10 straight seconds and then spat in my face. Without missing a beat, I jumped up, called him a son-of-a-(deleted), and spat back at him. This brought screams from the women calling me a crazy woman. He responded to my response with a push in the face and a punch to the breasts that sent me flying on to the floor. I jumped up and punched him back. At this point, no fewer than 4 other men jumped up - not to defend ME - but to ATTACK me by punching, hitting, slapping, and kicking me to the floor. I was fighting back the whole time but was no match for 4 men in such cramped quarters. I finally got enough aim to kick one man in the privates and he went limping back to his seat in unmistakable agony. (Yes, I DO smile every time I think about it in the aftermath). But, in the meantime, the "holy" man sat in my seat and had discarded my bag onto the middle of the aisle. I went after him again, demanding my seat back. He spat at me which evoked the same response from me. My snood had come off my head during this scuffle so I knelt down to the floor to find it and the "holy" man kicked me in the face. The kick was so strong that the dirty outline of his shoe could be seen on my right cheek. Within a short amount of time my cheek began to swell and it took no less that 4 Ibuprofens over Shabbos to keep the swelling and the pain down. At the time of the kick, however, I felt no pain - only rage, equally distributed between the Chillul Hashem and the perversion of what some of these Chareidim call "kedusha".”

The letter continues with more of the same.

What are we to make of all this? Well, I cannot tell you how embarrassed and disgusted I am by this massive affront to both man and God. Chilul HaShem does not even come close to describing it. How in heaven’s name can anyone decide that his rights have been so violated that it warranted Nazi-like behavior toward another human being, let alone a woman, let alone a Jew, let alone a Frum Jew?! I can’t even imagine such a thing happening in my worst nightmare. Not only one man, but several beating this poor woman to a pulp! The outrage should be universal, no matter how one feels about Charedim. These Charedim were criminals. Nothing less. But are they really crimnals in the eyes of all?

I’m not so sure. The evidence shows that no one on that bus was happy with what this woman did. She took it upon herslef to violate a the sensibilties of an entire community. And these peole felt it. They tried to stop her verablly from doing it… to no avial. And when this Charedi fellow decided to “do something about it” were the other passengers secretly cheering? Why did no one come forward to help her? It almost seems like this beating was cathartic for the other passengers. Their Kedusha was finally restored. The woman had finally been put in her place.

Can this really be the thinking? I’m not so sure it wasn’t.

To be sure, no one wanted this woman to be beat up the way she was, but based on the “rightous indignation” expressed by many passengers to her in the past, and the lack of anyone coming to her aid. I’m not so sure they weren’t all getting some perverse pleasure from this woman getting her “just deserts”. Of course I don’t really know what they were actually thinking. But circumstances do not seem favorable to conclude that the passengers were in any way sympathetic to her plight.

Now it must be said, that this woman did want to be a bit of a martyr here. She chose her battle. She had to know that she was upsetting people. Yet she continued sitting in that spot every day and upsetting everyone else’s sensibilties. This was no Rosa Parks type act. There was nothing racist going on here. Just a hyper-sensitivty to the mixing of the sexes. And the vast majority of women using that bus actually prefered this aragngement. So she was not really fighting for any real cause but her own.

And it finally came to a head. Was she right in insisting on this seat since it was legally her right… in spite of the community standards that opposed women sitting next to or in front of men? I don’t know. There is certainly room to question her wisdom on this issue. But there can be no doubt about the sheer evil that followed. And the people who participeted in beating her up were no better than Nazis. And the by-standers?

Mehadrin Buses – Halacha, Common Sense, and Chilul HaShem

This whole gender segregation thing on buses has really taken off as an issue of late. Most recently there was a counter protest by secular Jews who formed groups of men and women at various points on gender segregated Mehadrin bus routes, boarded them as a group, and sat in the men’s section. Fortunately there was no violence and it was a relatively quiet event.

It wasn’t always this way. To the best of my knowledge buses were never segregated by gender until relatively recent times. But as buses in ultra Charedi neighborhoods like Meah Shearim in Israel became crowded the residents requested and were granted permission by Egged, the government subsidized bus system in Israel, to be allowed to sit separately. Men in the front. Women in the back.

The reason for this particular arrangement was so that men would not be in a position to be looking at the women in front of them. Women in this community did not seem to have a problem with this. Nor do I recall there being any outside protests about this when the service was initiated. (This phenomenon has taken root in America too in ultra Charedi enclaves like Williamsburg and Monsey.)

Halachicly there is no problem with men and women sitting together on a bus even if it is crowded – as per the Psak of Rav Moshe Feinstein. But most Poskim would probably agree that it would be better (a Hidur) if they didn’t. On the other hand I am pretty sure that in those neighborhoods that have Mehadrin buses, it is considered to be more than a Hidur. For them it is a requirement in crowded situations. Most non Charedi Jews seemed to be OK with these Mehadrin buses since they were limited only to the ultra Charedi neighborhoods and understood the reasons for it.

But things seemed to start changing when Charedi neighborhoods started expanding and residents on their own started gender segregating non Mehadrin buses. That worked for them. But it did not always work for others.

The first incident that I am aware of happened to an Orthodox Jewish women, Mrs. Miriam Sheer, several years ago. She boarded a bus like that and sat in the empty men’s section up front. She did this every morning on her way to the Kotel. One morning she was confronted by some Charedi bullies and asked to move. Long story short - when she refused they beat her to a pulp.

That incident caused an uproar among not only secular and Dati Jews, but even among some Charedi Jews. Many similar incidents like this then followed with violence by Charedi thugs against women who refused to move to the back of the bus. In one case I recall it was against an elderly Charedi women in Ramat Bet Shemesh (surprise!) holding her grandchild.

This was followed by similar stories about women treated badly on Mehadrin or quasi Mehadrin buses. It got to be so bad that even some Charedi Poskim said the Hiddur created by these Mehadrin buses was not worth the Chilul HaShem created by it. Does the whole civilized world have to see Israel as some sort of second rate Iran? Are Mehadrin buses worth that? For their part - the Israeli government has now made it illegal for anyone to in any way force a woman sitting in the men’s section of even an official Mehadrin bus to move to the back.

Case closed? Hardly.

What bothers me are the accusations still coming from the right about the protest being anti Charedi. I suppose there is some of that. But overall I think this is a skewed understanding the anti Mehadrin protesters. No one is protesting Tznius. They are protesting what they see as a bias against women.

Mehadrin defenders make the claim that this is not the case at all and that the entire reason for gender segregation is based on Torah principles. While I agree that this is partially true, it is not the whole story. There are misogynistic motives in at least some of them as illustrated by the violence that keeps on popping up.

Charedi writer Eitan Kobre wrote an op-ed in Mishpacha Magazine last week that questioned the motives of those who challenge Mehadrin bus lines. Why, he asked, do protesters never send a man to the back of the bus - the women’s section? Why is it always a woman sitting in the men’s section? If there is discrimination it ought to be going both ways?

His answer is that protesters refuse to understand the religious and voluntary – even preferred segregation by Charedi women for reasons of modesty. They see only Rosa Parks. And see women as being forced to the back against their will. Which is not true in most cases of Mehadrin bus linses. Most Charedi women prefer sitting in the back for Tznius reasons. Secular journalists can’t seem to get past the ‘Rosa Parks’ racism of the American pre civil rights South. So they assume the same kind of bias here. Only instead of racism they see sexism.

OK. Point taken. But does Mr. Kobre not appreciate that there are many women – even observant ones – who do not see it his way? Not all Orthodox women appreciate sitting in the back of a bus. Certainly not secular ones. They in fact do feel discriminated against.

To answer Mr. Kobre’s question, the men’s section and the women’s section are not equal. The back of the bus is not the nicest part of the bus. The noxious diesel fumes are much stronger in the back. Those rare times when I have been on a bus, I loathe the possibility that I may have to sit in the back. And for that very reason I’d rather stand in the front than sit in the back!

There is also the convenience of being able to sit in the first empty seat you find after getting on and paying the fee. It is also a fact that when protesting sex segregated seating - sitting in the back will not be as noticed as much as sitting in the front.

And finally, isn’t it possible that a man would feel awkward making his protest by sitting in an all women’s section? Maybe it is sexist for me to say so, but I just think it is less awkward for a woman to sit down on an empty seat in the front of a bus than it is for a man to pass by empty seats and go sit with the women in back.

The protests are not about rejecting Tznius but about human rights. In this case the right of people to simply sit where ever they want on a bus without fear of violent or even verbal attack.

My view is as follows. I believe in freedom of choice. People should be able to sit anywhere they wish on any bus. In situations where everyone on a bus, both men and women prefer the Mehadrin arrangement, they ought to be allowed to do that. However in situations where a woman is not comfortable moving to the back, she should be allowed to sit in the front of even a Mehadrin bus. As I understand it, this is now the law of the land in Israel.

What about the rights of those whose religious sensitivities require them to sit separate?

When there are two rights in conflict and violence can result - common sense along with basic Halacha (as stated by one of the biggest Poskim of the 20th century) should prevail. If a woman does not want to sit in the back of the bus she should sit wherever she wants - even on an official Mehadrin bus. If that standard does not prevail, then all Mehadrin buses should be abolished.

Lest anyone think I am being unfair to the Charedi point of view, I am being mild compared to what an actual Charedi Posek in Israel said about it. Rav Avarahm Yosef (pictured above) - son of Sephardi Gadol Rav Ovadia Yosef actually called Mehadrin buses idiotic.

Ending Zealotry in the Name of God

Sometimes I just want to explode! I keep reading stuff about how some people believe they are foreordained by God to be His messengers.  As such they feel they have a right to do whatever it takes to see that His will is done. His will… according the best of their understanding. Whatever it takes usually ends up hurting innocent people. In some cases it includes even murder and suicide for that cause. That’s what Islamists do.

Although there have been exceptions (Baruch Goldstein and Yigal Amir come to mind) Jews do not tend toward murder or suicide. But we do have our zealots. Many of them. And they can be found among the extreme fringes of observant Jewry. These people will have the same sense of doing ‘what’s necessary’  in service to God.

There are religious Zionist zealots called ‘price taggers’. They have attacked innocent Arabs or government installations in retaliation for injustices they believe were done to them.  But they are not the only price taggers. In the most ironic of ironies, there is a new group of zealots who have taken a cue from the price taggers. They refer to themselves as Torah taggers. And they are Charedi.

These Charedi zealots are the polar opposites of the Religious Zionist price taggers.  They actually support the goals of the Arabs. Instead of insisting on colonizing all parts of Eretz Yisroel at all costs - as do many on the extreme right of religious Zionism - they would cede all of Eretz Yisroel to the Arabs. But that is not what animated them recently.

This time it was the Women of the Wall (WoW). They have decided to act in the name of God. And have vandalized the home of Peggy Cidor, one of their leaders. This is being reported in many media outlets.  The graffiti uses some pretty disgusting language about these women. From the Jewish Press: 

Some of the graffiti sprayed on the door and stairwell of Peggy Cidor’s apartment read in Hebrew: “Women of the Wall are wicked,” “Peggy, your time is up,” “Peggy, we know where you live,” and “Jerusalem is holy,” according to the Women of the Wall. 

Now I know that graffiti is not the same as physical violence. But these are the same people who throw rocks at cars, spit on reporters, yell at little girls calling them whores, burn dumpsters, throw acid on women who do not dress according to their modesty standards, beat up vendors who dare to sell MP4 players, burn down stores that sell clothing that do not measure up to their modesty standards, beat up women who dare to sit in the front (men’s) section of a Mehadrin bus, intimidate victims of abuse and their families, torch restaurants that allow mixed seating… and use all manner of violent behavior in the name of God. Graffiti is just their latest tactic. 

Kotel Rabbi, Shmuel Rabinovich has condemned their actions.. saying that these people do not represent Judaism. But these people argue that they are the epitome of Judaism claiming justification for their actions because of WoW’s breach of tradition.

The apologetic response I often hear from the right is that these are just vandals and not mainstream ‘anything’! Not even mainstream Meah Shearim. In fact the Women of the Wall actually conceded this point in their own statement saying that it was likely the actions of bored youth.

You know what? I don’t buy that. At least not completely. There is just too much of that going on all over Israel in places where individuals like these are found. And they all react in similar ways – with violence of one sort or another. The thugs who beat up a defenseless woman on a bus in Jerusalem are not the same people who called a little girl a whore in Ramat Bet Shemesh. But they are of the same mindset. The actual vandals may be few in numbers relative to the whole. And they may take ‘the law into their own hands’ – whereas most of their community does not go that far. But make no mistake about it. These aren’t just kids out on a lark with a can of spray paint out to do indiscriminate damage. These are people with a plan and a goal. They are zealots for God!

Thus far all the condemnation in the world hasn’t helped. These zealots keep doing things like this with apparent impunity. That’s because all those verbal condemnations did not stop them. And that’s about as far as the rabbinic leadership will go with these people. Especially the Meah Shearim/Eida HaCharedis types. They will not turn these vandals in to the police – no doubt because they believe it would violates the laws of Mesira. Not to mention the fact that they consider the authorities to be Reshaim – evil people.  So this kind of thing will not only continue, but may very well escalate.

The irony of all this is that this latest act was probably generated by the rabbinic call for prayer at the Kotel to masses of Charedi young women. That event brought media attention to it and an increased fervor by the zealots to resist the Women of the Wall with all their might. The rabbis had hoped that a show of strength in numbers through a massive act of prayer would once and for all discourage these women. They somehow believed that this show of strength would tell the world that the majority of women really want only traditional modes of prayer at the Kotel. Not the radical modalities brought to the Kotel by WoW.

But predictably that has only strengthened WoW’s resolve… and the media attention brought their issue to the wider attention of other liberal groups who support them in greater numbers than ever.  

As I have said repeatedly, I am not a fan of WoW. I think that their activities at the wall are as much about women’s rights as they are about devotion to God. At least as far as their leader Anat Hoffman is concerned.

This latest event has angered me. Every fiber in my body wants to retaliate.  Mida K’Neged Mida, measure for measure. That is the Godly way. It is how God punished the Egyptians in biblical times and we are created in the image of God. But as an opponent of violence, I do not advocate doing this. It would be just as wrong for example to spray graffiti on the walls of a home belonging to a leader of the Eida HaChareidis in retaliation. Two wrongs do not make a right.

Arresting these vandals won’t stop them either. There are just too many of them. Besides Israeli jail cells seem to have revolving doors for these people.

Perhaps it’s time to take a different approach. I know this is nothing short of a fantasy, but wouldn’t it be nice if for example next Rosh Chodesh rabbinic leaders themselves - people like like Rav Moshe Sternbuch, Rav Aharon Leib Steinman, Rav Chaim Kanievsky, Rav Nissin Karelitz, and Rav Shmuel Auerbach among others - joined Rav Shmuel Rabinovich at the Kotel and stood with the Women of the Wall? Not in support of what they are doing. But in opposition to the almost certain violence it will now generate?  Let the zealots try and throw rocks and garbage at them!

Even though I am opposed to the Women of the Wall, I am more opposed to the violent opposition to them. It’s time to stand up for what’s right… and against what’s wrong. There needs to be a way to end what these zealots constantly do – creating one desecration of God’s name after another. I can think of no better way to do that, than by a show of unity among rabbinic leaders in clear opposition to them right there at the Kotel.

The Highest Common Denominator

One of the ongoing problems in Orthodoxy is what is known as the move to the right. This is most manifest in matters of modesty between the sexes but it applies in many other areas of Jewish life as well.

There have been many explanations articulated to explain this phenomenon. One of the more detailed ones is Dr. Chaim Soloveitchik’s Rupture and Reconstruction: The Transformation of Contemporary Orthodoxy. Therein he argues that the reason we are moving rightward is because we stopped listening to our own family Mesorah and are now looking only at ‘the book’ as a source and guide for how to live.

An example of this is the Shiurim – the minimum Halachic measurements for fulfillment of various Mitzvos on Pesach such as the amount of Matzah, Marror, and the size of cup used for the Daled Kosos – the four cups of wine.

Instead of asking a father what the family Mesorah is for those things we now look in a Halacha Sefer and follow that. So that where our fathers ate a smaller amount of Matzah or used a smaller cup for the Daled Kosos, we choose the larger sizes based on what we read. The reasoning is as follows. If we want to be sure of fulfilling the Mitzvah properly why not use the largest size? After all – there is no maximum size.

To show how absurd that argument is - there is a rather famous anecdote about the size of the Chofetz Chaim’s cup - an heirloom he left to his family. It was far smaller than the Chazon Ish’s minimum required size. The family refused to use it!

Is there any question about the Chofetz Chaim’s careful observance of even the smallest detail of Halacha? Would he have used a cup – year after year – for the Daled Kosos that he thought did there was even the slightest question about?

Dr. Soloveitchik is right. This is indeed what is happening. But there is another aspect to the ‘move to the right’ that I think exacerbates the problem. Especialy in matters of Tznius between the sexes. Whether it is in dress; or in mixed seating at weddings; or at concerts; or public transporation; or shopping at the super market; or even when taking a walk in the street. The problem is one of good Halachic intentions gone awry. The following anecdote will illustrate the genesis of this kind of thinking.

A close friend of mine described what happened at his wedding about 50 years ago. Mixed seating was the norm at most Orthodox wedding at that time. Even in Charedi circles. Only Chasidic weddings were separate. My friend’s wedding was mixed. But a when a Chasidic Rebbe he was close to and invited saw the wedding was mixed he said that he could not stay since he would not sit at the same table with a woman other than his own wife. So my friend quickly accommodated him and put together two tables - one for the Rebbe and one for his wife. He asked some of the guests to separate from their spouses for this purpose.

From this anecdote one might make the following argument. Why not just have separate seating for everyone? After all that is certainly universally acceptable according to Halacha. Why not just set the standard of Tznius high enough so that it will be accommodate everyone? Wouldn’t that be the fairest way to assure that everyone will be treated equally? …that no one will be sitting awkwardly at separate tables while most of the people in the room are sitting at mixed tables?

This argument was bought by the Charedi world and today - one rarely finds mixed seating at a wedding... even in some right wing Modern Orthodox circles! Never mind that one can see pictures of the great Gedolim of yesteryear sitting together with their wives at a table along with other couples. Rabbi Aaron Rakeffet tells of how R’ Yaakov Kamenetsky would proudly introduce his wife who was sitting next to him at a wedding when people came over to greet him at his table.

That would never happen today. Why? Because of the misguided notion of utilizing the biggest Chumra as a common denominator. The Charedi argument might be to say… So what? Why not raise the level of Kedusha and not rely on Kulos - leniencies? They will say that not everyone holds that one may have separate seating at a wedding. Isn’t it better to be holier?

My answer to that is that one does not have to be holier than the Gadol HaDor. If he sat with his wife and other couples at the same table then so can the rest of Klal Yisroel. Chasdim don’t? Fine that’s their business and their right. But don’t impose their Chumros on the rest of Klal Yisroel.

However that is not how the world works any more. We now worship the false ideal that adopting the Chumra is the great equalizer that creates some sort of unity. I disagree. I think doing that has the opposite effect and turns a great manyFrum people off – and might even be a source discomfort and of disunity. Most people if asked privately will say they prefer sitting with their spouses.

At weddings where couples are given the choice in the invitation to sit with their wives or sit separate – the vast majority of responses come back asking to be seated with their spouses - even among Charedi couples. Those wedding have very few separate tables. And why should that not be the case? If a husband and wife enjoy each other’s their company - why should they be denied that privilege? If one works all day long and looks forward to spending a night out with their spouse why should that be taken away from them?

And yet the idea of creating a sense of unity by catering to the greatest number of Chumros has become the norm. Anything less is seen as substandard Judaism in certain circles.

Then there are the Mehadrin (gender segregated) buses in Israel. The extreme right wing has insisted on it for their neighborhoods. Not to be seen as less religious than the most extreme elements of Meah Shearim, Charedi Poskim who in the past never gave this issue a second thought - have endorsed the idea. So we now have an increasing number of buses that have separate sections - men in the front and women in the back.

The argument is the same as above. Separate seating on a bus is Halachicly acceptable for everyone. But mixed seating is not. So why not just make all buses separate? Problem solved? No. Only one problem is solved. But other problems are created.

For example what about families touring Israel unfamiliar with the bus routes trying to stick together? Can they be assured getting off at the right stop together if on a crowded bus they cannot even see each other?

What about an elderly couple where one spouse might be dependent upon the other? Should they be separated? Nonetheless on the Mehadrin lines they will be at a minimum harassed if they dare sit together.

And what about the inherent unfairness of a situation where there is more of one gender on a Mehadrin bus than another? If there are a lot more women then men - why should a woman be forced to go sit - or even stand in the back of the bus while seats remain empty in the front? Let a woman try to sit in the front and see what happens even when the segregation is impromptu, unofficial and even illegal - as is the case in Ramat Bet Shemesh! Or better yet look what happened few years ago to a 70 year old woman there ... or what happened to Mrs. Miriam Shear in Jerusalem on the number 2 bus to the Kotel!

There are many more example of this - far too many for one essay.

Going the Frummest route is not always the best route. I would argue that it is the worse route. If there is no clear Halachic necessity or if even if there is a difference of opinion as to the Halachic necessity of incorporating Chumros into our lives, it is unfair to drag those who are perfectly within our rights to be lenient into a more stringent world just because of some false notion of leveling the playing field.

If we continue along these lines, it will be the death of normalcy. We will all just become a community of extremists where the only difference between us will be what Nusach we Daven. That is definitely the direction we are going if things don’t change.

Good Intentions Gone Bad

Scene at the Kotel this Morning (Jewish Press)

It is often the case that the best of intentions can easily pave the road to hell. And that is what happened at the Kotel this morning. On many levels.

Let us assume that many of the 150 Women  of the Wall (WOW) that attend this monthly prayer service are sincere. That their true intentions are simply to be left alone in their form of service to God. While I do question how much of that sincerity is influenced by modern day feminism, I also believe that many of the women in that group are sincere. Even as I disagree with the propriety of doing so for reasons that are beyond the scope of this post. 

But it seems that this time it was more than just about WOW praying at the Kotel. From the Jewish Press:

According to a statement by the police spokesperson, it appears to the police that some members of the WOW group entered the main prayer section to purposely cause a provocation, despite requests by police that they pray in the section of the Women’s section set aside for their group.

It has become abundantly clear that this monthly event is a tactic used by WOW leader, Reform Rabbi Anat Hoffman, as a means of gaining legitimacy for her movement in Israel. She is joined by other heterodox groups in that goal.   Lest anyone think I am making that up, many of their leaders have admitted that the monthly prayers by WOW at the Kotel is just a tool - a means toward that end.

Why are they doing this now? It is no secret that heterodox movements in the Diaspora are either dying – or in some cases (e.g. Reform) are redefining their version of Judaism until it has little semblance to what it has traditionally been.

This time the Orthodox community was ready for WOW. They showed up in numbers so great, that they practically crowded them out. This was not a coincidence. In an uncharacteristic act of unity with Charedim on this issue - a mass protest was called for by Sephardi and religious Zionist rabbis:

On Thursday, former Chief Rabbis Shlomo Amar and Eliyahu Bakshi-Doron, along with religious Zionist Rabbis Tzvi Yisrael Tau, Shmuel Eliyahu, Yehoshua Shapira and Shlomo Aviner, urged the religious public to hold a counter demonstration. The operation was a success, with the participation of thousands of students who arrived in buses from all over the country.

Now one might say that it is unfair to do this since WOW is technically permitted by the state to hold their monthly prayer service. That is probably why the Kotel Rabbi, Shmuel Rabinovitch addressed the crowd with the following:

Before and during the service, the Rabbi of the Western Wall and the Holy Sites of Israel, Rabbi Shmuel Rabinovitch, used the public address system to call on the thousands of Haredi worshipers not to turn the holy site into a place of demonstrations, urging the men protesting against the women of the Wall to leave the women’s section and allow them to pray.

That said it is the right of every Israeli to come pray at the Kotel at any time they choose. If WOW wants to counter that next month, they can bus in their supporters and do the same thing. Free country.

But passions are strong on both sides – each believing that they are right. Which generates the equivalent of ‘Road Rage’. And that turned into an appalling, Chilul HaShem by young Charedim who began by screaming like wild animals - followed by this (video available here):

Yizhar Hess, director general of the Masorti (Conservative) Movement, was attacked at the plaza by shouts and spittle. He told a Kan reporter: “I am sorry to say that the police is confronting but failing to control the Haredi crowd. I have been here with the women of the Wall for almost ten years and I do not recall this level of violence. They came here all fueled and ready.”

Disgusting!

I understand the passion on both sides. But what these young Charedim did is actually advance the cause of legitimizing heterodoxy. They have made Charedi world look like they tolerate if not approve of a bunch of black hatted young thugs who acted like street gangs filled with hate! Which bolsters the heterodox claim that Charedism needs to be counterbalanced by their more dignified approach to Judaism.

Major attendance by mainstream Orhtodx Jews is perfectly legitimate. But in no way should there have been the kind of behavior against WOW or their supporters by anyone. I can’t think of a worse place to make a Chilul HaShem than at the Kotel.

In my view this well intended protest has backfired. WOW should have been left alone as Rabbi Rabinovitch requested. The more attention they get, the more support they will gain from a sympathetic secular public that sees how those young Charedim react. It is not illogical to conclude that their behavior is approved - or at least tolerated by their rabbinic leadership. Especially since this is far from the first time that kind of disgusting behavior has happened.  Public outrage at what they saw can easily translate into the kind of support for very thing they are trying to fight: the legitimization of heterodoxy in Israel.

Punishment for Sexual Misconduct? Not if You're Leib Tropper!

Arayos – sins dealing with sexual activity is one of the most focused upon issues of the Charedi world. And for good reason. In its most serious manifestations – among them adultery (sexual relations with another man’s wife) it is a Yehoreg V’Al Yaavor. Halacha mandates giving up one’s life before transgressing it.

In other manifestations it is treated almost as seriously. The lengths that the some segments of Charedi world go to prevent Arayos violations are pretty extreme. To that extent, enclaves like Meah Shearim and Bnei Brak have mandated dress standards for women that go well beyond normative Tznius (sexually modest) dress.

The consequences of violation of these dress codes is so severe that self appointed ‘Tznius squads’ have sprung up to ensure compliance. Hechsherim for clothing stores that sell only Tznius clothing now exist. In one instance a few years ago a store in Geulah (a religious neighborhood bordering Meah Shearim) was torched for allegedly selling clothing that was not Tznius by their standard.

Separating the sexes is a priority among all Charedim and there is great vigilance to do so at virtually every level - all in the name of preventing violation of Arayos. Some of the lengths are so extreme they seem absurd to the average religious Jew. There are Chasidim for example that never walk together with their own wives in the street. Women are always several paces behind the men. I witnessed this many times when my parents lived in Bnei Brak where the custom is to take Shabbos walks down their main street (R’ Akiva Street) after the Friday night meal.

Examples of how far the Charedi community goes to separate the sexes are far too numerous to mention. The point is that sexual sins are seen as among the worst offenses one can commit.

And yet when it comes to sex abuse accusations among their own there is an almost 180 degree change in attitude about it. There is almost complete denial of any sexual misconduct in that world. Every accusation seems to be treated as a lie. This trend is changing a bit in some of the more more mainstream Charedi circles – at least in the US.

But there are far too many Charedi enclaves where the operative word is denial. One of the more recent and egregious examples of this is a published document proclaiming – not only the innocence of a convicted sex abuser (multiple times of his own daughter) but proclaiming him to be a Tzadik!

But now we have an even more recent and perplexing example of this attitude. The story was reported on the Charedi website B’Chadrei Charedim (Hebrew). Rav Daniel Eidensohn has a translation (in the comments) of a portion of that article on his blog Daat Torah that states Leib Tropper was accorded great honor by several Charedi Rabbanim. We should remember that the Tropper case was not one that is typically attributed to biased anti Charedi secular media coverage - a media they claim lies and distorts everything Charedi.

One can perhaps understand the naiveté of an insular group that is paranoid about media bias not believing any negative reportage about one of their heroes. Especially when that hero denies it all. But this is not the case with Tropper.

He was caught on tape encouraging one of his potential female converts to participate in some pretty kinky sex. In fact it went way beyond encouraging her. He practically used extortion implying that her conversion to Judaism was on the line if she didn’t give in to his sexual fantasies. After several conversations like this, that woman had the foresight to record later phone conversations with him. It is all on tape. There was no way for Tropper to spin this. He knew it and resigned from his post as head of EJF an organization he founded to ostensibly help standardize conversions to Judaism.

Until he was caught trying to indulge his own sexual perversion he was seen as a leader in the conversion controversy – garnering much support from Charedi Rabbanim that many consider Gedolim. So it is clear that he not only abused the power of his position – he did it to gain sexual favors from a person vulnerable to his whims!

How they can allow this man to show his face anywhere in their world is something I do not understand. But to treat him as a hero and to lavish praise on him is so ridiculous that it makes a mockery of the very thing they are strictest about!

On the one hand their extreme attitudes about sexual matters produces aberrational behavior that give the thugs among them an excuse to beat up a religious woman who sat in the unofficial men’s section on a bus to the Kotel. And many similar thuggish acts like it. And yet a lecherous Rav who is a proven sexual pervert – caught preying on a vulnerable protégé is treated like a conquering hero of Kiruv!

What does this say about the leadership of a community so strict on matters of sex and yet honors a man who abused his power to gain sexual favors from a female under his wing? Is there any possible way to spin this in a positive way?

I guess it is the same mentality that moved a group of Chasidim in Israel to successfully fight the extradition to the US of one of the most infamous child sex abusers of all time, Avreimal Mondrowitz.

I guess that in certain Charedi circles if one has a beard, wears a black hat (let alone a Chasidic Bekeshe and Shtreimel) and talks the talk, it doesn’t matter what he did sexually. Denial rules the day even when the evidence is clear. It only matters when a non Charedi woman sits in the men’s section on an empty bus.

A Tznius Backlash!

A war has been declared against the so called Taliban or Burka women - a cult of Jewish women who have taken the concept of Tznius in dress to absurd and even dangerous extremes. They refuse to expose any part of their body including any part of their faces and wear Burka like clothing common among certain Muslim sects. Their founder Bruria Keren has been convicted of abusing her own children.

According to an article in Ynet there appears to be about three hundred members of this cult who are... a new sect of cruel women making people miserable and destroying homes, risking lives and showing no mercy to little children. This is what an ad being posted in the Charedi neighborhoods of Jerusalem and Beit Shemseh are saying.

I have no clue who is behind this ad campaign. It is signed by ‘the committee against the cruel women's sect.’ Apparently they have no rabbinic backing. At least officially.

It would not surprise me if this is the same bunch who harasses any woman that dares to violate their own extreme rules about Tznius. It would not surprise me if these are the same people who beat up a young religious (Dati) girl one Friday night as she passed through their neighborhood because she did not fit their model of Tznius. It would not surprise me if this is the same bunch who pinned a 70 year old religious woman carrying her grandchild against the wall of a bus because she was in the wrong section …or the same bunch that beat up Mrs. Miriam Shear on the number 2 bus to the Kotel for the same reason.

Am I happy that they are on the right side of the issue now? That depends on if they plan to use violence to get their way. Violence - whether physical or psychological is after all their answer to everything. As it recently was (and probably still is) at a Dati elementary girl’s school in Bet Shemesh. And from the angry tone of the ads it seems that they are quite ready to do that.

If one steps back and looks at the whole sexual dynamic of these communities - their whole approach to Tznius - the development of the ‘Taliban woman’ should not be surprising. Virtually all the focus these days in Charedi circles is on matters of Tznius. To them it is almost as if that is the only Mitzvah in the Torah.

They urge that women dress in a manner that does not show the female form. Loose fitting clothing; stockings thick enough or not flesh colored so they not be perceived as bare legged; wigs that dare not be too attractive… or look too real; tznius squads roaming the streets; hechsheirm on clothing stores; no pictures of women in any of their publications; separate buses, separate sidewalks… separate everything! Is it really so surprising that some women have taken things to the next level?

The article says that many of the cult members are Baalei Teshuva. Is that not telling? These newly religious women are bombarded with messages about their sex being the devil’s lure to men – sucking them into their web! They are taught that they must do everything they can to avoid turning on a man who can so easily be turned on – even at the sight of a woman’s pinky!

The lesson learned by some of these Baalei Teshuva is that the best way to avoid turning on a man they may inadvertently pass in the street is to simply cover up their entire body – face included. Finding a cult leader who preaches this made the move an easy one for them.

They think - how wrong can they be? Muslim women do it. There must be something universally Tzanua in dressing that way. When they see their zealous men go to such great lengths to protect Tznius – it is a no brainer to these women that covering up everything is praiseworthy.

I wonder how they now see this backlash.

The bottom line is that it is this community’s very own fault that a cult like this exists. And now they are going to take on the ‘monster’ they have created with possible violence. And I’m supposed to be happy about all that?!

The Rubashkins - Jekyll and Hyde

Their charitable acts are legendary. Truly a marvel to behold. The Rubashkin family are heroes to a great many people they have helped - both privately and publicly. Here is just a partial description of what they have done:

Moshe Rubashkin has taken widows on trips to Israel and bought them vouchers to purchase clothes for the holidays. On weekday evenings, a group of unmarried young women gathers in his basement for a program he sponsors, called Nightlife. The Rubashkins fund religious schools for children in the neighborhood and support other schools around the country. For 46 years, the elderly Rivka Rubashkin has risen before dawn to manage the Crown Restaurant, an Old World deli where anyone can eat for free. On the Jewish holidays, neighbors say, Moshe crams 100 cots into his President Street mansion to accommodate out-of-town visitors who have no place to sleep. His wife cooks for everyone. For years, Aaron and Rivka kept the basement of their Borough Park home open so that homeless and mentally ill people could stay there.

And this - from the Village Voice - a news source that is hardly sympathetic to religious causes. I’m sure that this description just scratches the surface. Their charitable acts probably go much further, wider, an deeper than this publication has room to publish.

But is giving charity and doing charitable acts a reason to behave as badly as this family’s business enterprises has? I don’t think so. The constant stream of news stories coming out of Postville and Crown Heights these days is enough to make a grown man cry.

New information keeps coming out about how these people operate that is nothing short of sickening. I’m not even going to discuss their well known problems. Those stories have been discussed to death. I am talking about lesser known evils that have now surfaced but until now not well publicized.

As I’ve said many times every accusation is only that – an accusation – until it is proven in court. The Rubashkins deserve their day in court. But much of what is now coming out has already been in court and adjudicated. And it isn’t pretty. In previous businesses there were convictions of illegal storage of hazardous waste and writing hundreds of thousands of dollars in bad checks from an empty bank account! All dating back to the year 2002 and culminating in prison terms .

One of the most egregious things that this family did was to another religious family who was in competition with them.

Many of you may remember the name Miriam Shear. She came to fame when - while on a bus ride to the Kotel - she was brutally attacked by some of the Charedi thugs who live in Jerusalem. But that was not her first encounter with brutality. It was a brutality of another kind: The Rubashkins drove her own kosher food establishment out of business and her family into bankruptcy. Here are excerpts from her story in the Village Voice:

The regional representative for her Atlanta distributor, Hudie Lipszyc …warned her to get out of the kosher-food business, telling her, she says, that if she didn't, the Rubashkins would retaliate… "They are going to squash you," ...he told her that she was actually in danger.

Incensed, Shear told Lipszyc that not only was she going to ignore his advice, but she planned to open another store in Detroit.

She consulted with the (Detroit) vaad, the local rabbinical council there. ...Agriprocessors meat was also the main source in town. Shear wanted to obtain permission from the rabbis before opening up shop. …They gave her the go-ahead.

Before they were going to open the branch, Shear got another call from the vaad: The distributor was taking her to a rabbinical court. Shear called the distributor... (who) threatened to spread a rumor that the (their) Canadian chicken looked so clean because it was bleached, and that the meat she was going to sell didn't hold up to kosher standards. Once again, she says, she was told that the Rubashkins would "squash" her.

Soon, Shear's friends began to tell her about rumors spreading in the community: that her meat lacked kosher certification. Shear scrambled to get a certification letter from the Orthodox Union. She tacked the letter up in her store. But the rabbinical court made things difficult…

A month after opening, some distributors that she had lined up to stock the store with products suddenly stopped selling to her. Shear says they didn't return her calls.In July 2006, nine months after opening, the Shears shut the doors of their Detroit store. They were almost bankrupt. Their house went into foreclosure.

I have no problem with hardball competitive practices. But this goes way beyond that. It was ruthless. It involved lies and intimidation. It was disgusting and did not live up to the charitable reputation the Orthodox Jewish public had of them. It sounds more like how organized crime acts.

One might accuse the Village Voice of being anti Semitic or anti religious (although that remains to be proven). But I don’t think one can accuse Mrs. Shear of that!

But the Village Voice is not the only one talking. Here are some excerpts from The Iowa Independent. It is an interview of Stephen Bloom who wrote a book on Agriprocessors - published in 2000:

There are cultural practices that Iowans are not accustomed to that the Jewish Hasidim adopted. These range from paying bills to hygiene to how they kept up their property….

There are certain business practices that this particular company followed that were particularly irksome for locals, for state regulators and for federal authorities.

When the comptroller of the company told me that they were not going to pay their bills, that they were just going to wait and wait and wait, I knew this was not going to fly. And they are still doing it. Another appalling business practice is that many of the workers who were arrested and jailed and deported had paychecks that were never picked up. Those paychecks have now reverted back to Agriprocessors…

The beef might be kosher, but that’s about it. The Hasidim at the plant probably care more, I think, about the well-being of the cattle they kill than the human beings that they employ...

Alcoholism is rampant. There are drunk drivers. There are guys that don’t know how to drive, and there are fender benders all the time. When I was in Postville this last time, there was a fender bender at 4 p.m. The guy who exited his car was staggering. I have to assume he was drunk.

This scenario is far cry form the reputation that this family enjoys in the religious community. It is almost as though the Rubashkins have Jekyll and Hyde personalities.

It seems like the end of the line for the Rubashkins. Their empire has indeed crumbled. What a sad fate for the beneficiaries of their charitable works and for all the Jewish people.

Promiscuity versus Societal Repression of Sexuality

Illustration by Kurt Hoffman in the Forward

There is way too much promiscuity in western culture. Ever since the sixties, having casual sex outside of marriage is practically the norm.  Pornography abounds on the internet.  What was once considered pornographic is now broadcast on free television in programs that feature models walking down an aisle wearing the highly sexualized underwear of ‘Victoria’s Secret’.  

Even a magazine dedicated to sports has as their most popular annual issue the swimsuit edition. This features women wearing bathing suits that  make them look practically naked in highly suggestive poses. This too is broadcast on free TV in an annual special called the Making of Sports Illustrated - Swimsuit Edition.  I can go on but you get the picture. Sex is all over the place.

At the other end of the universe we have societies in Orthodoxy where the subject of sex is so taboo, that it can and often does cause serious sexual dysfunction which can surface negatively in various different ways. In Chasidic enclaves like Satmar, Skevre, and Ger - sex or even talk of it is especially taboo. 

Both of these extremes are not good. I would never even try to choose one over the other. There is a happy medium of Orthodox Jews and the secular world that does not have either of these values and as a rule live normal lives with healthy attitudes towards sex. I believe that this represents the majority of the secular world and the majority of Orthodox Jews.

I  am not going to address that part of the secular world that thinks pornography is just great. My concern - as always is with my people - the Jewish people. 

Why is sex so taboo in these Chasidic enclaves? Is it too much of a good thing to suppress all talk of sexual subjects? I’m sure that the Chasisidc leaders who have established these policies and make sure they are strictly adhered to would answer, no. There is no such thing as being too modest in this respect.

But what is the result of such a policy? My guess is that it works for most of them. Although in my view even though there is less promiscuity in their world I do not believe that this is a healthy way to live. While I subscribe to the notion that if no one is hurt, by it, they have a right to lead their lives in any way they choose. But I am not worried so much about the majority. I am worried about the minority where such strong sexual repression will occasionally cause real problems for others. 

I have hard more than once about Chasidim who are outwardly quite reserved and a well behaved part of their mainstream. But at the slightest provocation they will react in completely inappropriate ways. Some of which are devastatingly harmful to the victims. 

Margaux Chetrit has written about her experiences and I am afraid that this is not the first time I have heard of incidents like this happening. Here is her description of 2 events. From the Forward:

First incident:

It was the evening before Israel’s Memorial Day more than five years ago. I was living on Mount Scopus and waiting for any form of transportation to take me to the Kotel for the state ceremony. With little time to spare, a taxi pulled up with a Hasid in the back and a seemingly secular man up front.

I knew the rules: The seating arrangement was just not going to work, and I had no time to wait for another ride. So, we quickly played “musical chairs” and arranged for the Hasid to sit as far away from me as possible during the brief ride to the Old City.

Upon arrival I began to make my way through the cobblestone alleys of the Jewish Quarter, when I noticed the same Hasid was nearly scaling the opposite wall to allow for the most distance between us. Too rushed to be bothered by his exaggerated piety, I continued until I heard him speak. I stopped dead in my tracks when I realized that nobody else was around and he was addressing me.

The real shock came, however, when I was finally able to decipher his words. The very same man who refused to sit in the back seat of a taxi with me, in the name of modesty, was propositioning me for sex.

Second incident: 

Nearly a year later, after my faith in the good intentions and holiness of Haredim was restored, I found myself waiting for a ride on Mount Scopus once again. As my patience wore thin and I cursed the bus’s tardiness in every language I could speak, a yeshiva bokher with a fresh driver’s license pulled up and offered me a ride.

The timid and innocent smile on his acne-riddled face convinced me to accept. I proposed to sit at the back, but he insisted that it was okay for me to ride next to him in the front.
Five minutes of silently driving was interrupted by the click of his seat belt, and in a series of violent motions he lunged across the passenger side, with his tongue darting in the direction of my face.

As Ms. Chetrit noted she is not saying that this is endemic. And neither am I. But as she also noted what happened to her illustrates what can happen when the human sexuality becomes so repressed.  Repressed sexuality will almost always find a way to surface. In most cases it can be re-directed into one’s marriage. But as these two events show, that that is not always how it plays out.  From the article here in part are her observations.  

I’ve read about symptoms of this disease flaring up among the men of Monsey, N.Y., and afflicting the women of Brooklyn’s Williamsburg, as well. And I would venture to say that similar incidents occur in most, if not all, sexually repressive communities…

If you don’t believe me, ask one of the many boys who have been robbed of their youth by trusted authority figures who molested them, or the girls who have been raped repeatedly and shamed into silence, or yet still, the young married couples who, because of an unfamiliarity with their own anatomies, have difficulty consummating their marriages …

The silence in which sexuality is so tightly shrouded within the ultra-Orthodox community is deafening. Its repercussions are destroying the community from within, as the violators and their crimes earn the support of their community, and as the victims earn their own exile for breaking the silence…

Sex is not a subject for discussion within the ultra-Orthodox community. In fact, students are not offered instruction in sex education (or at least a censored version of it) until the 10th or 11th grade. And often, said instruction is delayed, only to be conveyed in preparation and leading up to marriage.

Young men and women go through the hormonal rush of adolescence with little to no knowledge of what is happening to their bodies or why.

As a result, the innate curiosity typically attached to this period is explored inappropriately, and first-person accounts have shown that this can lead to severe violations of Jewish Halacha, including pedophilia — much worse than a cartoon diagram of the human body quickly explained in the classroom.

Furthermore, when a first contact with the human anatomy and sexuality is made only days before the ketubah is signed, the transition from chastity to marriage can be awkward and difficult, and lead to marital problems. Vaginismus, a subconscious spasm that prevents a woman from having penetrative sex, is a byproduct of unhealthy restrictive attitudes toward sex, many cases of which have surfaced within religious communities…

The silence around sex in religious communities can also prevent an honest conversation about incidents of sexually transmitted infections contracted by visits to brothels and other adulterous activities. No matter how hard religious leaders might try to avoid it, these unintended consequences exist.

Desire exists, too. It is strong. It is human. It is undeniable, and it can’t be silenced. Attempts to suppress it will ensure that it manifests itself in unhealthy, un-Jewish ways, be it with a stranger in an alley, in a car or worse. It will break through the silence and roar louder than ever. 

The bottom line is that I would not choose the sexually promiscuous lifestyle so highly visible in western culture these days. Nor would I choose the sexually repressed societies like these Chasidic ones - even though it avoids the problems of the outside culture. As always I opt for the middle.

Why do I care about a world apart like these Chasidic ones? Because they too are my brothers. And because I do not want to see the kinds of incidents described by Ms. Chetrit increasing. Furthermore - as the religious world continues turning to the right, these attitudes will creep into the mainstream, if they haven't already. 

What to do about it? I don’t know. But I hope that articles like the one Ms. Chetrit wrote will have an impact for the better.

No One Has a Monopoly on Violence

Image of past Charedi violence in Jerusalem

I am reluctant to criticize what is for the most part and excellent article by Rabbi Avi Shafran. It deals with the abhorrent crime committed against a Palestinian family by Jewish terrorists. There is no question that Rabbi Shafran condemns both that atrocity and the lesser but still abhorrent evil of religious Jews celebrating it at a wedding. They were rightly and forthrightly condemned by Charedi rabbinic leadership ‘across-the-board’. Here are Rabbi Shafran’s exact words: 

Rabbi Aharon Leib Shteinman, the dean of Haredi leaders today, has declared that “the path of violence and revenge are not our ways and anyone who does such things threatens the lives of the Jewish people”; and Shas spiritual leader Rabbi Shalom Cohen has stated boldly that “a person whose hands are stained with the blood of innocents is liable to the law of rodef,” a “pursuer” who can be executed to prevent him from acting again. American Haredim are across-the-board aghast at the actions of Jewish terrorist groups… 

As to Jewish terrorism itself, aside from its inherent evil, aside even from the heinous chillul Hashem, desecration of God’s name, it causes, it defames Klal Yisrael. Once it could be claimed, and backed up with facts, that Jews are different, that while our enemies exhibit blood lust and exult in violence, we do not. Thanks to the “Noar Hageva’ot” or “Hilltop Youth” and the group Lehava, such a claim can no longer be compellingly made. They may as well scrawl their ugly graffiti on the Kotel. 

I could not agree more. However the primary point he tries to make in his article is that the violence is not the way of the Charedi world at all. It is the way of Jewish ultra-nationalists: 

No, the “theology” that is twisted to yield violence against innocent Arabs, it must be said, no matter how long the beards of the perpetrators or how large their kippot, is not Judaism but nationalism. 

I think it is accurate to say that the violence these Jewish terrorists committed stems from a warped sense of Religious Zionism. One that is reinforced all too often by some of their right wing rabbis whose rhetoric in some cases is so extreme that it borders on incitement!  This is certainly not to say - God forbid - that all religious Zionist rabbis are like that. On the contrary. I’m sure that the vast majority of them condemn these acts and the celebration of them just as much as I do. But there are some that – while they may condemn an act this heinous, are guilty of fomenting it by their rhetoric. Or outright praising it when it  happens. Just to cite one example from Ha’aretz: 

(Former Chief Rabbi of Kiryat Arab, Dov) Lior was also the rabbi of Baruch Goldstein, who murdered 29 Muslim worshippers at the Tomb of the Patriarchs in Hebron the year before the Rabin assassination. After the 1994 massacre, Lior praised him and said, “Baruch Goldstein is a holier martyr than all the holy martyrs of the Holocaust.” 

Unfortunately there is no shortage of extremist Religious Zionist rabbis who talk like this. Rabbi Shafran’s words are well articulated and rather accurate. Where I take issue with him is in his assertion that terrorism will not be found among Charedim. In his defense against accusations by ‘some politicians and pundits’  that blame for Jewish terrorism across all of Orthodoxy, including Charedim he says the following:   

The conviction that spiritual accomplishments are the path to personal and national redemption is the very sine qua non of the Haredi mindset... That’s why one doesn’t see Jewish terrorists emerging from the yeshivot of Ponevezh, Mir or Brisk, or from the populaces of Mea She’arim or Bnei Brak. 

I agree that Charedi leaders constantly say that their Torah study is the way to national redemption. But these words are not universally (or fully) absorbed by far too many of their students. While they may not be setting fire to houses with people that are sleeping in them - there is no question that violence has become a modus operandi in far too many cases. 

Need I remind anyone of number of times extremist Charedim in both Meah Shearim and Ramat Bet Shemesh used violence or intimidating tactics against innocent people  to further their goals? (...like the harassment of a 7 year old girl in school bordering Ramat Bet Shemesh)  Need I remind anyone of the apologetics by the residents of that town about that incident? 

Need I remind anyone of the tactics of beating up women that dared to sit in the wrong part of a sex segregated bus in both Jerusalem and Ramat Bet Shemesh? (Including in one instance a grandmother holding her grandchild.) 

Need I remind anyone about the violent protests in Jerusalem by residents of Meah Shearim? (which included burning dumpsters whose toxic fumes could seriously damage the health of the elderly residents there.) 

Need I remind anyone of protests where reporters were spat upon?

Need I remind anyone of the time a merchant in Jerusalem was beaten for selling forbidden electronic devices? 

Or the time a clothing shop in Jerusalem was set fire because it was deemed to be selling women’s clothing that were not modest enough?

It doesn’t stop with the extremists of Meah Shearim or Ramat Bet Shemesh. Bnei Brak has its share of violent Charedim too. Some of whom are (or were) students of Ponevezh. They were involved with some serious life threatening violence in support of their candidate for leadership of that Yeshiva.

Now it is of course true that the vast majority of Yeshiva students do not do this. I doubt for example that a student at Mir was ever involved in this kind of violent behavior. In fact they are forbidden by their rabbinic leadership from ever participating in any protests.

But to say that terrorism does not exist in the Charedi world is just not true. While it may not exist at the extreme level of atrocity perpetrated by those extremist ultra nationalists against that Arab family, it does unfortunately exist. It’s just a matter of degree. 

And I categorically reject the arguments I often hear that by definition someone who does it is not Charedi. That is the classic ‘No True Scotsman’ argument and will not work. The people are Charedi in every respect but are extremists that have adopted violent means in support of their ideals.

The truth is that no one has a monopoly on violence. The ideologies of Religious Zionism or Charedism do not support violent means against innocent people to achieve their goals. But that doesn’t stop the extremists among them from doing it. I think it is only fair to point that out.