I cannot take it anymore. The lengths to which some communities go to outfrum… even themselves is absolutely ridiculous. Here’s is why I bring this up.
A dear friend of mine passed away last Sunday. His daughters and mine were very close friends in both elementary school and high school. One in particular with my oldest. She now lives in Monsey and is sitting Shiva here with her sisters and mother. It was sad to see her under these circumstances but at the same time it was good see her again as it has been many years. She was a regular in my house as was my daughter in her house.
During a Shiva call that my daughter made to her, a very ultra-O Chicago Rav came in who is very close with the family and proceeded to talk with the widow about matters of Aveilus. My daughter’s friend turned to her and said “It’s so nice to see Rabbanim actually speaking normally to a woman. In her community in Monsey no Rav would ever do that.
NO RAV WOULD EVER DO THAT?! Why? She does not live in Charedi Israel nor is her community Chasidic. She was raised in a family like mine and attended a Centrist type schools. She had a TV in her house went to movies… But now she considers it the norm that Rabbanim should not speak to women even in matters like Hilchos Aveilus. In her community the Rav would have only spoken to her Uncles there and had them relay the information to the rest of the family. This is where the Charedi community is going… right into Taliban country.
You want further proof? There is an article in The Jerusalem Post that tells of the policy of the English language Charedi newspaper, Hamodia to not publish photos of any women… no matter how Tznius they are dressed… and no matter how old… or young. Because of this policy they censored a catalogue of Feldheim books that contained a book with an unblured image of a female infant.
Want more? My nephew wrote a biography about my father which contained pictures of our family. But when they showed up I the book… all wives were edited out. No pictures of any women. Not my mother (his bubbie) not his mother… no one. Why did he do it? Because he wanted to get as wide acceptance as he could and he knows about the Hamodia crowd. True… he has become very Charedi. But that’s not why he did it. He told me he wants to cater to the most stringent standard so as to get the widest possible distribution.
Why does it disturb me so… that these kinds of standards are insisted upon in some communities? Why don’t I just look at my own community and be glad that they aren’t as ridiculous as the Hamodia crowd? That’s simple. The move to the right does not preclude something like this from taking over the entire RW community. You know which one. The one which provide Mechanchim to virtually every day school of every Hashkafa. And they are going to impart these values to our children. It almost doesn’t matter what Hashkafos we raise our children in, they will be subject to the indoctrination of these Mechanchim who will learn to “appreciate this new refinement in Tznius” and then instill them in our children.
Where is all this stuff coming from? Well in this particular instance it comes from Ger. They are known to have extreme Tznius Practices. And if I understand correctly the publishers of Hamodia are Ger Chasidim. So this attitude about how to deal with women whether in interpersonal relationships or in mass publications has now spread outside their circle to includethe not so extreme Feldheim publishers, and American …non Chasidic Rabbis in Monsrey, and my own Nephew, who though Charedi wouldn’t have ever thought to not publsish a Tznus picture of his mother and Bubbie whom he idolized.
I am telling you this “move to the right” is out of control.
