There has been a discussion of the book “Off the Derech” on Areivim. I haven’t yet read the book but according to those who have, there has been a conclusion drawn from it that the drop-out rate has increased equally among MO and Charedim… both here and in Israel. If this was stated in a context of defending the Charedim as not the only ones suffering from kids going of the Derech, I think the argument fails. It does not make the Charedi situation any better. If a child is liable to drop out equally in either community why bother sheltering their children to the extent they do?
The claim is constantly made by the ultra Orthodox that the sheltering done within the Charedi community is a far better way to insure that their children will stay on the Derech. They say the Modern Orthodox method of allowing exposure to the surrounding culture can only lead to failure and that the dropout rate is far greater amongst MO then it is amongst the RW.
So,using that argument they go to great lengths to shelter their children from every possible contact with the outside world: No TV, no movies, no magazines, no newspapers, no internet, no radio, no secular music… and in more extreme cases no bicycle riding (certainly not for girls). But it is apparent from the above that it doesn’t really make any difference. There is an equal drop out rate in both communities.
I’ve often argued that limited and controlled exposure to the outside world is the best way to be Mechanech your children. Of course you have to monitor what they watch and read etc. But in the end they will build up the antibodies needed to fight off the draw away from Yiddishkeit if they are allowed to participate with the Kosher versions of the culture they inhabit.
The cynical retort to this has always been a rhetorical “sure… expose them to smut so they can fight it off”. Well that is neither what I said nor advocate. I advocate "controlled" exposure.
Of what benefit is it to the Torah Judaism to insist on such extreme sheltering? Has it produced a stronger commitment to Torah in their children? Apparently not.
I suspect that aside from the dangerous shock of encountering what the outside world has to offer… there is another problem with this over-sheltering approach. Their children often suffer from unbearable boredom during their free time because of the severe limitations on activities they can do. There is precious little these children can do for fun and that leads them to doing mischief. And that is as contributory to dropping out as anything in Modern Orthodoxy.
True… Modern Orthodoxy does not fare any better. But it is time for Charedim to realize that their approach is no better either and stop saying that children of MO homes are at far greater risk than children of Charedi homes. They aren’t.
