I have just spent a very inspiring second half of Pesach in St. Louis. Ever since Reuven was diagnosed with bone cancer we knew our annual Pesach with the children was going to be altered. Pesach is the time of year where families bond and reconnect. And that is no less true in the Maryles household.
We knew from the very start that there was a very great likelihood that my daughter and her family would not be able to come for Pesach due to the concentrated chemotherapy protocol Reuven is going through which is quite intense. The chemotherapy program lasts for almost an entire year and it is constant. Much of his time is spent in the hospital when the most concentrated IV chemotherapy is administered, but he is always on it, even when he is not in the hospital.
One of the most difficult aspects of his treatment is the fact that it lowers his white blood cell count which goes down to zero a few days after treatment. That means his resistance to infection is very low having almost no ability to fight off infection. At the slightest indication of a fever, he is rushed to the hospital where he is tested for infection and immediately put on an IV antibiotic to fight it just in case he has one.
Of course the onset of a fever respects no Jewish calendar and can happen at any moment, including on Shabbos or Yom Tov. And since my daughter or son in law will never leave Reuven’s side when he is in the hospital that means one of them can easily spend a Shabbos there with him. And so it was immediately after the first two days of Pesach.
As I said earlier, we knew almost immediately that the chances of our daughter and her family coming to us for even a portion of Pesach were pretty slim. So, we resolved to go in for at least the second days. As it turned out Reuven developed a fever just before Shabbos and ended up in the hospital with his mother. The prospects for his coming home Sunday were nil so, my son in law volunteered to spend the entire second half of Yom Tov in the hospital. So we came into St. Louis knowing that we would be there with part of the family missing for Yom Tov.
While it was a very nice Yom, Tov the fact that Reuven who was hooked up to an IV in the hospital with his father by his side put a big damper on it. There is hardly a place more removed from Yom Tov atmosphere than a hospital. But at the same time it is so very inspiring to see how devoted my daughter and son in law are to Reuven’s well being. Both physically and spiritually. The result of that kind of dedication: Reuven is the happiest little boy. Although he does have the many common side affects of chemotherapy, which often cause him discomfort, he does experience times of relief. And then, he always has a smiling face, whether it is in the hospital or at home.
This is a sheer tribute to his parents, my children. They truly have provided the most upbeat environment for him, never for a moment letting on to Reuven the seriousness of his life threatening illness. It is a sight to behold. And as fate would have it, Reuven’s white blood cell count went up high enough on the second day of Yom Tov to allow them to come home by cab, which the hospital provided and paid for. They arrived home just before the Seudah.
There is one thing that sticks out now about Reuven’s recovery. It is the fact that the surgery which removed an important bone in his leg, the fibula, replacing the diseased cancerous bone in his arm. And that has left Reuven with a weakness in his leg. He in effect has to relearn to walk. This operation saved his arm from being amputated. But wherever he goes his parents basically have to carry him. His re-learning to walk is treated gingerly because of his plight so there is no pressure. He has to wear a leg brace. It is difficult to watch this once active happy faced little boy who used to run around carefree now struggle to take steps and be carried everywhere. But this Yom Tov brought tremendous progress. He started walking almost completely on his own. He holds on to a hand but only for confidence… he does not really need it. That was indeed an amazing moment to witness yesterday.
My daughter ands son in law are truly heroes who have given up normalcy for a year to make sure their son has a complete recovery. And I attribute Reuven’s success in treatment as much to them as I do to the many Teffilos being said all over the world and modern medicine. I firmly believe that attitude is a key factor in anyone’s recovery from illness. And Reuven’s attitude is a sight to behold.
I would just end with some words of special praise to my son in law. He is one of the most unselfish people I have ever known. He is generous to a fault and the biggest beneficiary of his generosity is his wife, my daughter, Tova. He always volunteers for hospital duty when it comes out on Shabbos. And he has even told his wife to go visit her parents as a break from the routine while he stays in the hospital with Reuven. What a great human being. What a great set of parents. What a great family.
The Teffilos are the conduit to Hashem, the True Healer. And they are working. Please continue your Teffilos for Reuven Ben Tova Chaya.
