Take a Moment for Reuven

My daughter Rivkie Greenland wrote this about her nephew Reuven. When I got the news earlier today I couldn’t bring myself to write about it. But thank God my daughter had the stregth to do it. It was originally posted in a Facebook group belonging to Dr. Leslie Ginsparg Klein called: Take a moment to daven for Reuven Ben Tova Chaya. Here is the message in its entirety.

Hi everyone.

The last time I posted on Reuven was back in June. You have all been so kind in continuing to ask about him and daven for him. I wanted to update you as to the current situation. A couple weeks ago, Reuven started a new protocol treatment which involved chemo and some experimental drugs therapy. Today, was going to be the second round of that protocol but before they started, Reuven has a scan this morning to check on his existing tumor. Much to everyone's dismay, the tumor grew despite the chemo he has been getting. Baruch Hashem, it has not spread, but it was not the news his parents or any of us were expecting to hear. The doctors told them that due to the growth, they could not longer continue this protocol treatment, meaning the chemo was not doing the job it was supposed to be doing. In her usual manner of keeping things "normal", Tovi took Reuven home from the hospital and brought him straight to school, which he very much enjoys.

We are all anxiously waiting for what's next...what the new treatment option will be for Reuven. The situation is serious and Reuven needs our Tefillos. Please continue to pour out your hearts for him in your davening and mitzvos. Hashem is listening and little Reuven needs a Refuah Shleima Bmheira.

Forever thankful,
Rivkie

Arrogant Sinners

How much more evidence do we need to recognize evil? If this report in Ynet is true, then yet another massive Chilul HaShem is happening in Charedi Israel. How can they justify stealing from the public coffers? Stealing is still a sin, last time I checked. And yet this community feels absolutely no compunction in doing so.

From Ynet:

In recent months the Education Ministry has employed the services of private investigators following information received of suspected fictitious registration of children to ultra-Orthodox schools in Jerusalem. The inquiries revealed that in several of the establishments children who were listed as students did not attend classes. It is suspected that school administrations allegedly provided the Education Ministry with false data in order to receive extra funds allotted according to the number of pupils.

Then there is this:

A preliminary inquiry indicated that some of the ultra-Orthodox schools in Jerusalem registered children who are affiliated with factions of the Eda Haredit.

What was the response of the Edah:

A source at the Eda Haredit said that the phenomenon involved some 20,000 children. "We are not interested in dealing with the State of Israel's losses," he said. ""It's not our problem. We solve our problems in our courts."

20,000 children who are involved in this scam and the Edah doesn’t care! It’s not their problem!

Many Charedi schools are guilty of stealing. Plain and simple. And by their refusal to deal with it, the Edah is aiding and abetting it. They are stealing from every Israeli taxpayer, which includes everyone who lives in Israel and ever spent a dime! It seems like every day another news story comes up that embarrasses me as a Jew. It sickens me to think that the wider world of both non Jews and secular Jews see the most religious looking Jews among us behaving like either primitive savages, the mafia, or perpetrating some fraud.

I am so tired of their defenders. They always crop up when news like this hits the media. The typical comment is “Are you going to trust the secular anti Charedi media?” Or “Look at all the good they do. Their Gemilas Chasodim is incomparable!” Or “Their Mesiras Nefesh for Yiddishkeit is so admirable!” Or “Who can blame them - the Israeli government is so hateful of Charedim and Torah that they probably deserve it!”. Or “Oh yeah? MO is worse because a lot of MO women don’t cover their hair.” Or “Stop with the Lashon Hara already!”

Here is my response: Stop supporting evil! That is what you do every time you defend them in any way.

We have a right to take our religion back from these people and not allow them to define Judaism for us to the world. We need to strike back and make them feel our pain at what they do. We cannot idly stand by and watch them sink our beautiful ship of Torah.

To those who say that their Midos and Maalos – fine character traits far surpass their Chesronos - their character flaws, I will just say the following - which is my admonishment directly to these people: What good are all you good deeds if by even one bad deed you besmirch the name of God and His people? What good is helping a fellow Jew if you steal from all of them?

All pressure must be brought to bear on them. We must use any non violent means at our disposal to sink their ship instead of letting them sink the ship of Torah! This includes talking to your Rabbis and urging them to speak out strongly against what they do. It means Frum Jews in Israel who wear Kipot demonstrating in counter protests whenever they protest. It means reporting lawbreakers to the police and testifying against them. And it means making sure those schools who steal from the government are heavily penalized!

As for the Edah itself - is there any question any more about the constant Chilul HaShem these people make? I have called for boycotting Edah Hechsherim. Many people have countered that it is too difficult. That too many products have the Edah Hechsher. OK. I accept that. But at the very least if given the choice between an Edah Hechsher and any other reliable one, choose anything but the Edah Hechsher!

Some have said that the Edah operates out of conviction and that boycotts won’t work. OK. But that doesn’t mean we should try and do what we can – including all of the above and more.

Boycotting them should not be rejected. We need to send a message that the Hechsher they put on the food that goes into their mouths is not as important as Chilul HaShem that comes out of them!

Spitting for God

There are a group of young men in Israel who set the standard for bringing Moshiach. What is nice about it is that two disparate groups have joined forces here, Charedim and Religious Zionists. I assume the latter stem from the Chardal side of the Religious Zionist aisle. But there is no better cause than what they jointly work for. Someone has finally put their foot down and said, “No More!” We are not going to let Christianity destroy us. We will not allow them to take over Jerusalem. We finally have people who are willing to stand up for Kavod HaTorah!

What is it they do? Well for the glory of God whenever they see a a Christian clergyman or nun in the street they spit on them. How wonderful it is to see our youth putting into practice what they have been taught about Goyim. Spitting on Esav and his ilk. What a Kiddush HaShem. They honor God and the Jewish people. I stand in awe of what they do! Such courage! Such determination!

They are the ones who are honoring God and the Jewish people. Not the Yeshiva Bachurim who learn with Hasmadah Rabba. Not those who constantly do acts of kindness. Not those who pray with sincere devotion three times every day. And certainly not Israeli Soldiers who put their lives on the line every day. But these spitters! They are the ones who God loves the most! I just wish they had been doing this sooner. Just think how much more could have been accomplished!

How wonderful is Thy nation O’ Lord!

I think we all ought to take a cue from them. I urge every Jewish man woman and child to do the following. Next time you see a priest or nun – or any kind of Christian clergy from any denomination, get up really close and spit on them. Make sure your spittle is full and complete – from deep in your throat, not one of those wimpy spray jobs. Hork it up! Trust me it’s worth taking the time. This will surely enhance our stature with God and bring Moshiach.

I would suggest we do this to every Conservative and Reform rabbi too, since in some ways they are even worse than Christians. They have after all led more people astray than Christian clergy ever did or could. Charity begins in the home (or something like that). Let us all unite - Charedim and Modern Orthodox alike in common cause and ‘Spit for God’.

Ashkenazi Chief Rabbi Yona Metzger is on record objecting to this. But he's wrong. Who does he think he is anyway? Besides he wouldn't know a Kiddush Hashem if it spit on him!

Post Script: It has been brought to my attention that there are actually people who might read this post and take it seriously. I didn't think it was possible to see this as anything other than a sarcastic rebuke of those who would do something as vile and stupid as this.

Unfortunately I have been reminded that this kind of behavior is not as far fetched as I wish it were. How sad! So let me be clear. What these people did is a massive Chilul HaShem for which there may be no Teshuva. I hang my head in shame!

Updated: 1:22 PM CST

Future World

There is a fascinating article on a website called Morethodoxy by Rabbi Asher Lopatin. Rabbi Lopatin is a brilliant modern Orthodox Rabbi in the Lakeview area of Chicago. This neighborhood is comparable to the Upper West Side of Manhattan in that it is heavily modern Orthodox and has a large population of singles.

His resume is very impressive. He was a Rhodes Scholar and studied at Oxford University. He received Semicha from both Yeshiva University and Rav Ahron Soloveichik at Yeshivas Brisk. He was also an honoree at one of their banquets. He is a devoted protégé of Rav Ahron and when Rav Ahron was alive he was Rabbi Lopatin’s Posek.

What is fascinating about that article is Rav Ahron’s Psakim with respect to matters of abortion:

By the time I was able to spend the most time with him, the last 15 years of his life, he had developed an much more “liberal” attitude towards abortion. If a woman was raped, he would tell her to go quickly to get an abortion, and he could even see allowing her to abort in such a circumstance in the third trimester, if necessary. By his last years, when I was a rabbi already in my shul, he paskined for me on a difficult case that a woman carrying a Trisoma 18 baby, which would not live for more than a few years at most, that allowed her to abort, if she felt she was not strong enough to endure.

Another Psak that is fascinating is the following:

When we set up our community, pluralistic school, (Chicago Jewish Day School) I asked him if we could admit children of Jewish fathers, non-Jewish mothers. He said yes! Then his grandson who was there said, But Zayde, these are “goyim g’murim”! His answer was, So what? You can teach Torah to goyim as well! And he quoted the S’fornu.

I wonder which grandson it was. But I digress.

I’ll bet that Rav Ahron’s Psakim surprise a lot of people. But they shouldn’t be suprised. Rav Ahron was not afraid to Paskin L’Kula. He never looked over his shoulder when it came to Paskining. If he felt it was Halachicly correct he would go against the grain no matter who or how many Poskim disagreed.

Would he have agreed with the way left wing modern Orthodoxy pushes the envelope? I honestly don’t know. My guess is that he probably would have approved of it in certain circumstances but frowned upon it in others.

While all this is very interesting it is only a prologue to my thoughts on Orthodox demographics.

Organizations like Morethodoxy which represent the left wing of Orthodoxy are becoming much more of a reality today. This is in part due to leaders like Rabbi Avi Weiss who is determined to guide modern orthodoxy in a particular direction. He has created Yeshiva Chovevei Torah and coined the term ‘Open Orthodoxy’ as its motto. It expresses a new Hashkafa of interacting with other non Halachic Jewish denominations among other things. In doing so he has parted company with his own Rebbe, Rav Joseph B. Soloveitchik. He has not rejected Halacha in any way but in Hashkafa he is moving to the left.

Another innovation he has created is a Yeshiva that ordains Orthodox women to become in essence female rabbis. He calls them Maharat. But he is the first to concede that that for all intents and purposes his ‘Musmachim’ are really just female rabbis albeit with all the Halachic restrictions palced upon women when serving as rabbis. For example no woman may be one of the ten people that comprise a Minyan.

I tend to think that this is the wave of the future for Modern Orthodoxy. Not because they are stronger or have better Hashkafos than Modern Orthodoxy’s right. But because I don’t think right wing Modern Orthodoxy will be sustainable as an independent entity.

I base this on what I’ve written about many times. There is a melding of two worlds taking place which ultimately will produce a new entity. I’m not sure what it will be called – if anything but it is already happening. The right wing of modern Orthodoxy and the moderate wing of Charedim are combining to form one large sociological if not Hashkafic group.

They tend to live in the same neighborhoods and send their children to the same schools usually moderate Charedi ones. They tend to look and act like their moderate Charedi counterparts. They are serious about Halacha, they often have trim beards, and wear black hats and are Koveah Itim – setting aside time daily for learning Torah . The differences between them Hashkaficly are real but do not really enter into their relationships with each other.

For their part moderate Charedim have already taken upon themselves the modern Orthodox modality of going to colleges or professional schools for Parnassa purposes. They now stand side by side in all the professions with their modern Orthodox counterparts. And they will more or less participate in the general culture with them at various different levels.

I believe that this new grouping will be the new mainstream for Orthodox Jewry. It will almost certainly be the largest.

So there is going to be a realignment so to speak of Orthodox demographics. The new Orthodox mainstream and its demographic center will be this new integrated entity.

To their right there will be the right wing Charedim of the Yeshiva world that sees the Israel Charedi model as its inspiration and goal. They reject formal secular studies and try to stay in learning full time. If and when the time ever comes they seek employment without the benefit of a college or professional school education. Some may try their hand at businesses and succeed. But the vast majority will struggle just to make ends meet. In my view this model is not sustainable in its current numbers and will eventually diminish in size. But they will always comprise a significant segment. Especially for those who can somehow support themselves in that world or are willing to live their entire lives in poverty.

And then on the left we will have the new left wing modern orthodox world. They will eventually become the new modern Orthodox as the right wing ceases to be a separate entity and melds into the new mainstream.

A word about Chasidim. They most certainly comprise a very large portion of Orthodox Jewry. And if any group’s numbers are growing exponentially - theirs are. They certainly cannot be discounted in any demographic trends. But Chasidim are not really subject to integrative trends. They will grow internally and remain strong. But as big as they are I do not see them as mainstream.

Will they eventually outnumber the rest of the Orthodox world? I doubt it. The new mainstream will be the largest demographic and along with the non Chasidic right wing will grow as quickly in my view. I further believe that the insularity of the Chasidic world will lose some of their youth via attrition - as will the right wing Charedi world. That will impact negatively upon their growth.

This is how I see the future of Orthodoxy -at least in the near term. Of course many things can happen to change this dynamic. But based on my observation I do see this as the near term future of Orthodoxy. Only the future will tell if I am right.

Celebrating Thanksgiving

One of the best ways to express our gratitude for all the beneficence the United States has provided to the Jewish people is to celebrate the holiday of Thanksgiving.

That is a very controversial statement but it shouldn’t be. In fact I believe Rav Moshe Feinstein frowns on the customary way of celebrating this day - that of eating turkey in a festive family meal setting. I believe that he says that it is a Minahg Garua - not a virtuous practice.

But I am not alone in questioning his views. I believe Rav Soloveitchik participated in just such a meal on Thanksgiving. And I know his brother - my own Rebbe, Rav Ahron, ate turkey on Thanksgiving too. I cannot speak to Rav Moshe’s reason. But I can speak to my own view of why celebrating Thanksgiving by eating turkey with one’s family is a good thing.

Thanksgiving was first celebrated in 1621 by the Pilgrims who were Puritans and very focused on their Old Testament (which is essentially our Torah). They probably saw this as a version of Sukkos which is celebrated around this time of year (in the Fall). They wanted to give thanks for the bounty they had just harvested. Having a Seudas Hoda’ah was how they felt that could best be expressed. One might ask – if that is the case, doesn’t that become a religious holiday? The answer is no. No church or church authority mandated it. It is only recognition by laypeople of a Higher Being, His beneficence, and the desire to express thanks to Him.

It wasn’t until George Washington established it in 1789 by proclamation that it became a national holiday. Here in part is what it says:

Whereas it is the duty of all nations to acknowledge the providence of Almighty God, to obey His will, to be grateful for His benefits, and humbly to implore His protection and favor; and Whereas both Houses of Congress have, by their joint committee, requested me to "recommend to the people of the United States a day of public thanksgiving and prayer, to be observed by acknowledging with grateful hearts the many and signal favors of Almighty God, especially by affording them an opportunity peaceably to establish a form of government for their safety and happiness:"

Now, therefore, I do recommend and assign Thursday, the 26th day of November next, to be devoted by the people of these States to the service of that great and glorious Being who is the beneficent author of all the good that was, that is, or that will be; that we may then all unite in rendering unto Him our sincere and humble thanks for His kind care and protection of the people of this country…

George Washington was not a cleric or any kind of religious figure. But he nonetheless saw the value of expressing thanks to the Creator by all of its citizens regardless of religion. In short it is a national holiday in which every citizen may – if they so choose - express their gratitude it in whichever form their own religion dictates or allows.

This is in essence a national meal. We Americans are all in the same boat and experience the same great bounty God has granted to the American nation. It is to show appreciation for that and recognition that the American people are after all a God fearing people at the core that recognizes that there is a Creator that should be thanked. What better way is there than to join with our fellow citizens in the national tradition? What to could possibly be wrong with expressing our own Hakaras HaTov to both God and the American people?

Some would say that there are other national holidays where we can do this. Like Independence Day or Memorial Day. That’s true and we should celebrate those days too. The idea of non Jews mandating a meal seems wrong to them. I disagree. In my view the most concrete way to show our gratitude is by actively participating alongside the American people – each family in their own homes - in a festive meal. This is a far better way to express our gratitude than – say -going to a fireworks display on the Fourth of July.

This does not mean to say that this day has any religious significance. It has none. Nor does it mean that one must have a turkey dinner. America is still a free country. But I think it is not only permissible but laudable to do so.

Happy Thanksgiving. And to those who are having turkey today, bon appétit!

Of Cheeseburgers and Protests

Let us stipulate that one of the rabbinic leaders of our time is indeed a huge Talmid Chacham. Let us further stipulate that he has a long list of great accomplishments in his career including many Seforim on Halacha. Indeed he is a great man; a kind man who opens his doors to all comers. He is in fact known for his great compassion to his fellow Jew.

The only thing he ever does wrong is that he has a cheeseburger for lunch every day. And he does it in public! Of course no one questions him because of who he is. What should our attitude be about this fellow?

While this analogy is not perfect I think it demonstrates what is wrong with Edah Hacharedis leader Rav Yitzchok Tuvia Weiss. That description fits him. He has all of the traits and accomplishments I mentioned and perhaps more. But substitute Chilul HaShem for eating cheeseburgers and this description is pretty close.

According to an article in VIN a Shas MK has publicly protested his treatment by the Israeli police force during a protest at the Jerusalem branch of microprocessor giant Intel in Jerusalem . To be fair I don’t know the details of his mistreatment. He was apparently handled roughly. If true then perhaps that could have and should have been avoided.

In defending the police action the Minister of Internal Security said the following:

“It should be noted,” continued the Minister, “that during the event the police did not note the presence of the Gavad of the Eidah Charedit, HaRav Tuvia Weiss. Furthermore, despite claims to the contrary, the police did not make use of any means to disperse the crowd, rather the protestors were moved away from the site as the police advanced toward them, without the use of force or violence.

He said. She said.

I don’t know the truth here. But I do know who is mostly responsible for any violence that resulted from this – or just about any protest in Jerusalem. It is Rabbi Weiss. He not only orders those protests but apparently participates in them.

His reason this time is pretty much the same as always. He wants to protect the sanctity of Jerusalem. Any time something comes up that threatens his sense of Jerusalem’s sanctity he calls for a protest. And often those protests turn violent. Very violent! And when one or more of his ‘Chasidim’ gets hurt, he cries, ‘Police brutality!’ Apparently it’s very possible that this time he was a victim of some rough handling himself.

Though I wish him no personal harm I feel no sympathy for him here. His constant calls for useless protests have created one Chilul HaShem after another. That makes him just as guilty of wrongdoing as does eating a cheeseburger in my view. I’m sure that he would never dream of eating a cheeseburger. He wouldn’t even dream of eating anything except the most Mehadrin of Mehadrin foods. But when it comes to Chilul HaShem he has completely lost sight of his contributions to it.

Now I’m sure he would vehemently dispute that. He and his Edah would very likely say that he has every right to protest Chilul Shabbos. And that his intent is always peaceful. That it is the Israeli police who incite the violence and his Chasidim’ are merely reacting to it.

I don’t believe that it is all the police. Nor that his ‘Chasidim’ are completely innocent. Oh - I’m sure that there is some police violence and that some innocent protesters get hurt. But there is so much evidence to the contrary that to blame it all on the police is laughable.

However, even if what he said is true one cannot get away from the fact that it is Rabbi Weiss who ordered these protests in the first place. Unless he is completely oblivious to what goes on there, he has to know there will be violence and that people will get hurt.

He apparently does not agree that images of religious looking Jews with long beards - dressed in Chasidic garb who literally spit on reporters and otherwise taunt ‘outsiders’ - are a Chilul HaShem. And that doesn’t even address the serious threat to human life by the toxic fumes inhaled by residents in neighborhoods where dumpsters are set fire.

Rabbi Weiss must think it is a Kiddush HaShem when the world sees these images. Or he just doesn’t care what the world thinks. I would love to know where in his vast knowledge of Torah he gets these ideas.

And what exactly is he protesting with Intel? I am virtually certain that they are not a Jewish owned company – although the original founder and owner. Andy Grove, was a Jewish holocaust survivor. Non Jews are allowed to keep their businesses open on Shabbos. If Jews work there, it is a private matter between them and God and none of Rabbi Weiss’s business. Besides - Intel has gone beyond the call of duty in trying to minimize if not completely eliminate Jews working there on Shabbos.

That’s not good enough for Rabbi Weiss. Apparently he wants them to shut down or move out of Jerusalem. So he and his Edah continue to protest and cause havoc. Never mind that all manner of industry is leaving Jerusalem in droves because of this climate of Charedi violence and intimidation. This leaves Jerusalemites decreasing opportunity for decent employment.

And how does a religious member of the Knesset respond to all of this? Does he criticize the Rabbi Weiss and his Edah for causing these disturbances in the first place? No. Heaven forbid he criticizes a Gadol. Instead he criticizes the police for rough handling him. And he quotes the Talmud to support that criticism.

He sees the as yet unsubstantiated rough handling of Rabbi Weiss as causing great harm to Kavod HaTorah. That may be true if Rabbi Weiss was handled as roughly as this MK has indicated. But harm caused to Kavod HaTorah by Rabbi Weiss is far greater than what this Shas MK is complaining about.

And that’s why the Chilul HaShem in Jerusalem will continue. Until a Charedi MK who speaks for other Charedi leaders stands up in the Knesset and condemns what Rabbi Weiss and his Edah is doing, things will only get worse.

Never Again

Wu-Tang Clan is a hardcore hip hop group. According to Wikipedia it is one of the most successful hip hop groups in history. I never heard of them. Personally I can’t stand that genre. Most of that kind of ‘music’ that I’ve ever had the misfortune of listening to is vulgar and tasteless. I’m not even sure it qualifies as music.

But I do love music in general and I am always open to try any kind of music – no matter what the genre is. There are always exceptions that surprise me. Wu-Tang Clan has done that. The above video is performed by a group who –one would assume - has little if any concern about the Jewish people or their tragic recent history. But Wu-Tang Clan didn’t just surprise me. They shocked me. It is very powerful and made my eyes water. Once again proving that stereotypes can be wrong.

November is the month that many people believe the holocaust actually began in earnest. Kristallnacht – or the Night of Broken Glass happened during this month. This makes it a propitious time for viewing this video.

Is hip hop an appropriate way of dealing with such an issue? I would not have thought so. But I defy anyone to watch this four minute video in its entirety and not be moved. That it was done in hip hop style by a group like this makes it all the more powerful.

Modern Culture -Isolation or Immersion?

Fred Flint-stoned.

That might be Rabbi Baruch Chalomish’s nickname. Rabbi Chalomish - apparently an ordained Orthodox rabbi - is a wealthy businessman who lost his wife to cancer back in 1996. He blames his ‘indiscretions’ on the pain of that loss of 13 years ago.

By his own admission as reported in the JC.com he is a coke-head and consorts with prostitutes.

How Frum can this guy be? He looks certainly looks Frum. And he did make certain he had kosher food for his cocaine parties and sexual escapades. (I'm just trying to picture his thinking process.) I’ll bet he is also meticulous about keeping Shabbos.

So here we have yet another religious looking Jew who is responsible for making a Chilul HaShem.

The question is whether this guy is alone. The answer is that he is not. There are others who have gone down this path. How many are there? I don't know but it seems like we have been hearing stories like this for decades: Frum Jews - often prominent ones - succumbing to the temptations of the flesh. And to dangerous mind altering drugs.

I remember clearly when – many years ago - another wealthy religious Jew who was a confidant of Rav Shach’s. He was found dead of a drug overdose in his mistress’s apartment. He was a married man at the time. And then there were those reports from Sidney Biddle Barrows – The Mayflower Madam – who ran a high priced call girl service for wealthy clients. She reported in her book that a substantial portion of her clientele were Chasidic Jews.

I have in the past suggested possible answers to these questions. Most of them had to do with an overly repressive and insular world that sees the outside world as the ultimate forbidden fruit to be avoided at all cost.

It has been shown that in many cases - when circumstances are just right - the outside world will come pouring in like water from a broken dam. There is no protection from being drowned by it. No learning about the ways of the world and how to properly deal with it. No inoculation by allowing some exposure to it via various media. TV, movies, the Internet, secular newspapers, radio… virtually all contact with the outside world is removed from that segment of Orthodoxy. The goal is insulation. And they have succeeded in creating a highly insular environment. To say that they are isolated from the world is an understatement.

I don’t know if Rabbi Chalomish was raised in that kind of environment. But even if he was, certainly his success in business put him in contact with the outside world. And he slid very quickly into a world of drugs and sex. Was he a victim of improper preparation of isolationist Orthodoxy? Or is he the exception – an individual with an addictive personality - that proves their rule: the less contact you have with the outside world - the better.

For what it's worth I do suspect that Rabbi Chalomish suffers from an addictive personality. Not that this absolves him of responsibility for making a Chilul HaShem. It doesn't. But does that mean an insular lifestyle otherwise works? Or does it grease the path for the kind of slide he took when he encountered it? Are addictive personalities more prone to this behavior upon encountering it -when their lives are insulated?

Is forbidding the New York Times into your world part of the solution? Or is it part of the problem? If one assumes that Rabbi Chalomish was raised in this kind of environment was he a victim of it? Would he have done better being raised in a more open environment?

There are those who say that the more one is exposed to ‘The outside world’ the more likely they are to succumb to its temptations. I think that there is some truth to that as well. Taken to an extreme - if one is raised by a prostitute mother in a brothel one will view drugs and illicit sexual activity as normal.

In my view – just like everything else in the world there is a happy medium between the two extremes. The question is where exactly that medium lies and how big a range should that medium encompass. That would be an interesting discussion. But one thing is certain. Neither complete isolation from nor complete immersion in the ‘outside world’ is ideal. Both extremes should be avoided because I truly believe that extremism of any sort is a prescription for disaster.

Women as Sex Objects

The attitudes about sexual modesty in Orthodoxy are clearly designed to prohibit men from focusing on a woman’s sexuality. But is that the result? Or does it have an opposite effect? Do modesty laws cause one to actually focus more on sexuality? And why are women not treated in the same way as men? Why do Chazal not legislate similar restrictions in dress for men? Do women not have the same sex drives as men? Are men not seen by women in the same way as men see women?

These are questions that deserve more than a cursory answer. Here is what an Orthodox ‘Nice Jewish Girl’ said in her blog:

Am I the only woman who feels extremely awkward and sexualized interacting with a chareidi man? I do. No matter how conservatively I'm dressed, no matter how demure I am, I always feel sexually exposed. The very act of insisting that I dress "modestly" accentuates rather than conceals my sexuality. It separates and displays my sexuality, rather than letting it recede into the background.

As a group Charedim are more sensitized to sexual modesty issues than other populations. As such their reaction to the sight of an attractive woman might be perceived by her in 'extreme awkwardness'. But Tznius is Halacha based. All of Orthodoxy must adhere to certain standards of Tznius. Even if Charedim might react to it in an exaggerated manner.

The focus on modesty makes Nice Jewish Girl feel like a sex object. And I believe there is a certain validity to her thinking. Not that Orthodoxy defines women as sex objects. Quite the contrary. Orthodox Judaism sees women as an equal partner with men in their endeavor to be members of holy nation - each with their own role - in service to God.

But when it comes to modesty laws it is about women as sex objects.

Is that sexist? I don’t think so. It is just recognition of human nature. Although men are forbidden to see women in sexual ways outside of marriage – the Torah recognizes that the male libido – or sex drive - doesn’t work that way. Men do look at women in sexual ways when given the opportunity.

One of the ways in which women can be seen as sex objects is in their manner of dress. The more provocatively a woman dresses - the more likely it is that a man will see her as a sex object. It’s not that he should. It’s not that he wants to. It’s just that he does. Men are visually oriented. They react to visual stimuli much more than women do. Women of course have a libido too. They see men sexually. But their attraction to men is not as visual. This can be demonstrated quite clearly in western culture.

There is an advertising slogan that spells it out: Sex sells! If one looks at the world of advertising, one will note a heavy emphasis on attractive women. Those ads clearly address men. And the more provocative the ad – the more attention it will get – from men. On the other hand the idea of a provocatively dressed man in an ad is nonexistent. Women will generally not focus on such ads.

Another demonstration of the differences between male and female libidos is pornography. It is almost all geared to men. There seems to be a limitless number of pornographic magazines for men. How many are there for women?

This is not just a function of secular culture. The most religious men in Orthodoxy are just as attracted to the visual as as are men in general society.

No greater proof of that phenomenon is the unfortunate fact that even in the world of the right wing Yeshiva student- men who are dating will often insist on dating a ‘size 2’. That is a dress size.

Not that men know dress sizes. But they do know ‘thin’. And a Shadchan knows dress sizes. Most women - religious or secular - rarely make physical appearance a condition of dating. Of course no one wants’ to date a slob. But the basic requirement is that a potential date looks… ‘Mentchlich’ (for lack of a better word).

I sometimes wonder if women as a rule understand the sexual nature of men. An attractive young woman who feels like a sex object is not imagining things. Complaints that it isn’t right are justified. Of course it isn’t. Women should never be treated as sex objects. But the truth is that most men must work very hard to overcome seeing a beautiful woman dressed provocatively and not think of her in sexual terms.

I think this explains these comments in Nice Jewish Girl's blog:

I speak with men all the time - for work / school / day-to-day stuff, etc. In all of the those interactions, I feel viewed as a full person (skirt not withstanding), viewed first and foremost in whatever capacity necessitates the interaction - I am a teacher, colleague, customer, etc. Sure, to some extent or another the person I'm interacting with knows that I am more than simply my role at the moment, but it's not important to the situation, so there is no focus on it.

At a certain point, covering my body increases attention to my sexuality, rather than on my whole self.

Well – yes it does. And it is true that context is a major factor in how the sexes interact. But context does not change human nature. If a woman comes to a meeting dressed provocatively she will be noticed for that as much as anything she has to say – if not more so.

I think that many women do not realize that. They want to be as attractive as they can be and that perhaps context will override the male sex drive. Men should therefore not react sexually to it. But that isn’t what happens. That in the vast majority of such situations men do not react to it is a function of societal conditioning and self restraint. Men have as rule learned to behave themselves in the public square. But the truth is the provocative manner of dress often does provoke erotic thoughts in most men. It is just their nature.

So I guess my answer to ‘Nice Jewish Girl’ is yes - modesty codes do over focus on female sexuality. Women are seen by this Halacha as sex objects. But the alternative is to let society dictate modesty standards.

Our current societal standards have led to a culture of sexual promiscuity where many a good man has fallen victim to his own libidinous nature. And the Orthodox community is not immune from it either. Even though infidelity can and does happen in even the most religiously modest environment – the chances of it happening in an overly sexualized environment has to be far greater than it is in one that insists on dressing modestly .

There are other factors that contribute to infidelity. But one cannot in all sincerity overlook the sex drive of men and the provocative way in which many modern women dress in the public square as a huge component of this phenomenon. And we ought to acknowledge that religious codes of modesty help prevent it.

Updated: 5:19PM CST

Does a Chumra in Tznius Trump the Law?

One of my favorite stores in the world is B&H Video. They are virtual paradise for an electronics junkie like me. Located in Manhattan they are one of the largest dealers in video equipment - both consumer and professional. There is no store like it in Chicago –although other smaller versions exist in and around New York. If one wants to buy professional video equipment they will be hard pressed to find a dealer in professional video here in Chicago – certainly not one that displays any professional equipment as does B&H.

I buy virtually all my professional video equipment and supplies from them. They not only have it in great supply, they offer some of the best prices of all their completion. Their mail order department – which is how I buy from them - is probably an even greater percentage of business than their in-store sales.

All of this - in and of itself - makes me a fan of the store. But what makes this store unique is that it is completely Shomer Shabbos. Not only that - but its owners are very Charedi Jews. In fact I believe they are Chasidim.

As if that weren’t amazing enough their sales staff is heavily populated by religious Jews of all types, from bearded Chasidim to Modern Orthodox Jews. And non Jews. Including minorities.

I have always thought – What a Kiddush HaShem that store is. It serves all people and employs many religious Jews enabling them to make a decent living for their families. And it does not discriminate. It has plenty of non Jews working there. They are known as a force to contend with by competitors all across the nation.

I always get a kick out of calling them to order something. Often a very Chasidic accented Jew answers the phone to take my order. All their sales staff is knowledgeable and professional.

Which brings me to this story in the New York Times. B&H is being sued for sex discrimination:

In the lawsuit against B & H, filed in State Supreme Court in the Bronx, one current and three former female employees claim that they were denied sales positions because they are women. According to the lawsuit, this was a common practice at B & H.

Nakisha Cushnie, the lead plaintiff in the case, was “advised that these positions were not open to her due to ‘religious reasons,’ ” the lawsuit says.

Richard B. Ancowitz, the women’s lawyer, said there were no religious exemptions in antidiscrimination laws.

“It’s an upsetting thing, in this day and age especially, to not be able to get a job because of your gender,” Mr. Ancowitz said in an interview. “I thought we were beyond that.”

Although no managers expressly told the women that they were denied promotion because of their sex, Mr. Ancowitz said that the company had no saleswomen and had turned down other female applicants for sales jobs.

I completely understand the desire to maintain Chasidic standards of Tznius in their business. I’m not exactly sure of the exact Tznius issue but my strong hunch is that they do not want women to interact directly with the mostly male customers. One wonders, however, what they do about female customers.

But whatever the reason, it is pretty obvious that they discriminate - even if they deny it. There is no other way to explain the complete absence of any women in their rather large sales force.

Does the Chasidic standard of Tznius trump the law if the basic Halacha does not require it? I am not here to argue whether freedom of religion trumps laws about sex discrimination or not. Nor would I say that Halacha may be violated if the law requires it. If for example Bris Mila – circumcision - was outlawed (which it never will – but for argument’s sake…) then of course we are obligated to violate it.

I am talking about a Chasidic desire to keep women out of their sales staff because of their own specific Tznius reasons.

I think the answer to that should be very clear. They have no right to violate the law because of their own Chumros. If it is proven that they systematically deny women jobs in their sales department - just because they are women - then they have violated the law and in my view Halacha. It is Dina D’Machusa – the law of the land. We are obligated to follow it even though we might prefer not to - for Tznius reasons.

What we do in the privacy of our own homes and synagogues is a separate issue. Government interference in those places would in my view be unconstitutional. But in the public square… I think they lose on all counts. It will be interesting to see what happens.

A Word about Sarah Palin

Mrs. Palin has just released her biography and is now on a book tour promoting her book Going Rogue.

When she was announced by the McCain campaign as the Republican Vice Presidential candidate, I thought is was a stroke of genius at the time. She truly energized the conservative base of that party - a vital segment that was pretty unhappy with the moderate McCain. Indeed her introduction to America was pretty amazing. I contrasted her with the verbose and boring technocrat Biden - a policy wonk if there ever was one.

That announcement - if I recall correctly - gave the McCain campaign a nice bump in the polls. As did her speech at the RNC convention.

But then something strange happened. Sarah Palin went from being the star of the McCain campaign to becoming a liability. At first she was kept from the media. Questions were being raised about her true competence. Why was she hiding from the media? Once made available to a couple of high profile news anchors she performed very poorly – looking quite ignorant if not outright stupid. And then the campaign held her back some more – denying her any chance to redeem herself.

Never one to miss an opportunity to bash conservatives and looking for material for their show, the writers of Saturday Night Live (SNL) started parodying her ‘ Alaskan accented’ English and mimicking her poor performances in the media magnifying those terrible interviews and making her seem truly dumb, ignorant and backward.

She was the perfect foil for them. Tina Fey, the comedienne/actress who portrayed her on the show did an excellent job of making her look as stupid and incompetent as possible – a virtual clown of a candidate! SNL's past portrayals of former President Bush as a buffoon paled in comparison. Those Palin skits were so popular that SNL’s ratings went through the roof. So they parodied her every week - each time reinforcing her image as a backward ignoramus. Those skits were very funny. But they were a lie.

But that is the image that remained with the public. Reinforced time and again by other comedians like Leno and Letterman who made similar jokes about her. When people saw Sarah Palin they could not help but think of Tina Fey’s parody of her. After that no one took her seriously anymore and considered her a big liability for the campaign. Perhaps she was – although that isn’t the reason the McCain campaign lost the election. That is a whole other post.

She was a liability - not because she was stupid or ignorant. She was a liability because of how she was portrayed in the media. That was the way people saw her. When ‘the man (or woman) in the street’ was asked about whether she was capable of being President the answer was invariably, no. Why? Because when they saw Sarah Palin - they thought Tina Fey.

But Sarah Plain is not stupid. She is in fact quite intelligent. Her knowledge of foreign affairs is not as Tina Fey portrayed it - with the now famous line ‘You can see Russia from here’ . That was a parody of an answer Mrs. Palin gave to a question about her experience in foreign affairs as governor of Alaska. Her answer was that that one should not overlook the fact that Russia is in close proximity to her state and that had implications of security, energy, and commerce.

Which brings me to her views on Israel. She was recently interviewed by Barbara Walters on ABC News. She was asked about what she thought of the President’s policy with respect to Israeli settlements on the West Bank. Here was her answer:

I disagree with the Obama administration on that," Palin told Walters. "I believe that the Jewish settlements should be allowed to be expanded upon, because that population of Israel is, is going to grow. More and more Jewish people will be flocking to Israel in the days and weeks and months ahead. And I don't think that the Obama administration has any right to tell Israel that the Jewish settlements cannot expand.

The segment where she said this can be seen below.

This is the kind of President I wish we had. One who clearly holds poistions that are in the best interests of Israel. One who sees Israel’s interests as coinciding with US interests. She is right. No foreign government has the right to tell any sovereign nation how to settle within its own borders. Certainly not when issues of national security are involved.

That said, I will admit that I still think Israel ought to pay attention to what the Obama administration says. He is the President now. Not that it has to capitulate to his every demand, but that it is wise to try and be as close to the US position as possible on every issue that does not threaten its security. I’m not sure how close Israel and the US positions are right now. There are mixed messages coming out of both quarters.

But I would have loved to see a President like Mrs. Palin take who takes the stand on this issue that she does. That would have given Israel far more leeway to do things the way it sees fit.

How smart is Sarah Palin? I don’t know but given the chance I think she would do just as well as President Obama has so far – which isn’t really saying that much.

I don’t know if she will run for President. Her image may be irreversibly tarnished. But one thing I do know is that she is a lot smarter than she is given credit for and a highly principled woman.

Abuse Survivors: Please Do Not Suffer Alone

By: Dr. Benzion Twerski and Rabbi Yakov Horowitz

The Motti Borger tragedy haunts us all. I have devoted two blog posts to it. Much of what is written in the following essay I have either directly stated or alluded to. The issues this tragedy raises are of vital importance to the Jewish community. Therefore as a public service, without further comment, and with full permission from the Jewish Press and Rabbis Horowitz and Twersky- I present it in full. It will appear in next week’s Jewish Press.

In recent days, reports have circulated in the media and on the Internet about the tragic early passing of yet another young man in our community. Those reports indicate that the trauma of childhood abuse followed him and complicated his adult life to the point that it impinge of the quality of his personal relationships.

It is not the intent of these lines to substantiate these reports nor is it to dismiss them. Rather, we wish to use the opportunity presented by this horrible calamity and the dialogue it has created on the Internet and in the street to once again loudly and forcefully reiterate the message we have been projecting for many years to victims of abuse – “Please reach out for help and do not suffer alone.”

For even in the event that the facts as reported in this particular tragedy are not accurate, they are most certainly consistent with the pattern we have unfortunately seen over and over again where victims of childhood abuse go through unspeakable agony as they attempt to singlehandedly deal with the toxic aftereffects of the trauma they suffered in their formative years. We have each encountered numerous instances where untreated childhood abuse follows victims into adulthood shredding their marriages and rendering them often incapable of entering into a loving and intimate relationship with their spouse until a trained mental health professional helps them sort things out. We have each been intimately involved with more than a few childhood abuse victims who became addicted to heroin and/or cocaine in an unsuccessful attempt to wash away the searing pain of their trauma. We have each paid more than a few shiva calls to families of abuse victims who years and even decades later took their own lives.

There are a number of reasons why abuse victims would not avail themselves of intervention and assistance. Some are understandably reluctant or frightened to share the facts of their abuse with others. Others who did have the courage to confide in adults in their lives are encouraged or intimidated into remaining silent – especially if the perpetrator is a respected individual or a close family member. This sends a horrible message to the victim – that he or she has done something that cannot see the light of day. The result is a that a never-ending video loop now plays in the mind of the victim as societal pressure abuses them again and again by forcing them to remain silent and unsupported.

There are many events that simultaneously involve more than one “system.” For example, when one gets arrested for driving under the influence which caused injuries or death, there are criminal penalties for drunk driving and financial reparations due for the damages caused. However, neither of these tracks deal with the fact that the perpetrator has a drinking problem. Courts realize they cannot treat alcoholism, as revoking licenses, impounding cars, and even jail terms will not prevent recidivism – especially if treatment is warranted but not followed.

Various efforts have been undertaken in recent years – all of which are necessary – in the arenas of prevention, education, training, and the need for reporting. And we both have proudly participated in many of them. However, despite the fact that these initiatives and the awareness they generate are often soothing to past abuse victims, none of these help them regain their footing. Only therapy by a licensed and trained professional can accomplish that.

We are therefore reaching out to anyone who was ever abused or molested in their childhood years and begging you to please do yourselves the ultimate favor and get help.

Therapy may not solve all issues in your life, but it will do much to make your future brighter and filled with greater promise. In fact, many survivors thrive and build beautiful lives for themselves and their families following successful treatment.

It may be true that some people are resilient and survive with little apparent damage (apparent is the operative word). However, this is not the norm, and with the dangers involved, we would not recommend that you even risk small chances. So; for your sake and for the sake of your spouse and children, please, please get help.

This may mean several things:

Contact a mental health professional who is experienced in counseling trauma victims. (I strongly feel that well-intentioned individuals like me who do not have professional training in abuse treatment are not equipped to deal with these issues and should limit our involvement to supporting the efforts of the professionals and steering those who seek our guidance in these matters directly to them. Y.H.)

Get information about trauma and its effects.

Connect with other victims/survivors. The camaraderie and support are invaluable.

We strongly suggest that you ignore those who inform you that getting married and starting a family will help you “Get over it.” Experience has taught us that it will often complicate things rather than heal them.

Please, please do not suffer alone. Reach out for help today.

In closing, we offer you our sincere and heartfelt bracha that Hashem grant you menuchas hanefesh and simchas hachayim (tranquility and joy) in your lives.

Rubashkin - What Would the Steipler Say?

There are a lot of people who are upset at those of us who refuse to defend a religious Jew who was convicted of financial wrong doing. Sholom Rubashkin is being seen by many as a victim of anti-Semitism. The justifications for this attitude are varied and many. Among them:

*He was piled on by splitting hairs in each count -one act was divided into multiple violations of the law.
*He was only guilty of technical violations.
*He didn’t realize what he was doing was illegal.
*He is an honest businessman who was a bit disorganized - just trying to keep his business afloat.
*What he did was not really a crime because the bank knew what he was doing and went ahead with it.
*He is a great humanitarian - A real Baal Chesed and Baal Tzedaka. Not the monster he was portrayed as by the prosecution.

At the very least we should beg for mercy for a fellow Jew who is basically a good man with a family to consider. He does not deserve the kind of punishment he will surely get. And on and on.

The question remains, what should our attitude be? Should we be actively seeking to reduce his sentence or seek leniency? Should we continue to characterize this as a miscarriage of justice? Or even the act of an anti-Semitic government out to get the Jews - especially bearded ones?

Do we scream at the top of our lungs: ‘Blood Libel? And try and re-establish his good name while calling those who say otherwise ‘self hating Jews’? Do we accuse those who see justice done here of the worst possible motives and call them the worst kinds of names?

Perhaps we can all use some help here. A good place to go for help in answering these questions is to the Gedolim of the past and see just what they think ought to be done in cases like this one.

Rabbi Daniel Eidensohn sent an excerpt from one of his blogposts to an e-mail list in which we both belong. He has graciously allowed me to quote it. For those who don’t know who this man is he has authored two monumental works found in Jewish homes and Baatei Midrash across the globe: Yad Moshe and Yad Yisroel. These volumes are indexes to the Teshuvos of both the Chafetz Chaim’s Mishna Beruruah and Rav Moshe Feinstein’s Igros Moshe.

Rabbi Eidensohn quotes from the memoirs of Rabbi Shlomo Lorenz who wrote about his intersection with the great Gedolim of the past. One segment deals with precisely the issue at hand. Here is what it said:

Steipler Rav (Within the Domain of Gedolei Torah Vol 2 page 557-560): The rav of Komemiyus, Rav Binyamin Mendelson approached Rav Shlomo Lorenz concerning someone who had committed a crime in the past.

Then he had been sentenced to a number of years of jail – but had been placed on probation and wasn’t imprisoned. However the person eventually committed the crime again and now was being tried a second time.

Rav Mendelson said that he knew this person and felt he deserved mercy - especially for his wife and children. Therefore he said there was an obligation to try to keep him out of jail - not only for the sake of his family - but because it was obvious that being in jail with hardened criminals would not serve to rehabilitate him. Therefore Rav Mendelson asked me to testify as a character witness at the trial to try and stop the jail sentence.

Rav Lorenz told him that while normally he would readily agree to whatever he asked. However in this case he knew that his testifying in court to aid a criminal would become public knowledge. This would cause a chilul HaShem because it would create the impression that the representative of the Torah world not only identified with the criminal but also offered him assistance. Therefore he told Rav Mendelson that he wanted to consult with the Steipler Rav before he did anything. Rav Mendelson agreed but requested that the Vishnitzer Rebbe also be consulted.

When Rav Lorenz told the story to the Steipler Rav, the Steipler screamed, “A Jew who sins and repeats that sin, it is better that he be punished in this world and not – G‑d forbid – in the World to Come.” He explained, “The punishment in this world is minor compared to what happens in the World to Come.

Furthermore if you succeed in stopping the jail sentence he will continue to repeatedly commit this crime. It is better that he receive his punishment and perhaps learn self‑restraint… In addition if I give you permission and you testify for his benefit it is obvious that every newspaper and all the public media will publicize the matter and it will also be a chilul HaShem when he sins again…”

Yes… those were true Gedolim. I don’t hear anyone saying these kinds of things today. The opposite is true. The more Charedi they are, the more sympathetic they are to Mr. Rubashkin. And by default less the less sympathetic they are to the Chilul HaShem that supporting him will cause.

There are those who say that we need to have sympathy for this man and his family and do whatever we can to help him avoid jail. I can fully understand that. But is that right? Not according to the Steipler.

Defining Charedim and Modern Orthodox Jews

An article in Ha’aretz really got me to thinking about how we define ourselves as Jews. The article asks the question specifically about Charedim. But I think it is fair to ask it about all of us. I will limit my remarks to two groups: Charedim and Modern Orthodox Jews. Nor should my views here be considered all inclusive. I am just expressing an impression that I have at this moment in time.

Let us first address Charedim. This was the subject of the Ha’aretz article. Who are they? What are they like? Are all Charedim equal? The answer to the last question is no. There are probably more differences among Charedim themselves than there among any other group. Ha’aretz makes these observations:

Who, in fact, is Haredi, a member of the ultra-Orthodox? Is it that fellow with the long side curls and a striped robe setting fire to trash cans, breaking reporters' bones and proudly declaring to a television camera that "every child born to me is revenge on the Zionists"? Are the Haredim those people from Beit Shemesh who a few weeks ago stoned a woman who was not modestly dressed, in their opinion, and almost killed her?

Maybe the Haredi is that thin, pale, shy young man walking in Bnei Brak, his eyes cast down, seeing nothing until he reaches the yeshiva, where he hides away until evening, poring over his books and barely remembering to eat or drink. Or maybe it's that portly Hasid walking along Tel Aviv's Rothschild Boulevard, pushing a stroller crammed with a baby and two toddlers, with a few more kids tagging along. Also on hand is his adolescent daughter wearing a long blue skirt, and at some distance, his wife, the mother of his children.

Or maybe they are the students at Kiryat Ono Academic College, who will be lawyers and accountants, or maybe the young woman who will be the treasurer of the Bnei Brak municipality, or MA students at Harvard University, or owners and staff at a Glatt kosher restaurant in Herzliya Pituah. And maybe they're the Chabadniks in their mitzvah tank, who light Shabbat candles in the heart of Tel Aviv.

What seems obvious from this is that there are light years of difference between one extreme and the other . Charedim can be virtual Taliban-like terrorists but they can be also be non violent productive participants in the broader society. So what puts these two virtual opposites in the same boat?

It is their devotion to a common singular concept. Fear of Heaven.

The word Charedi comes from the word Chareid – which means to tremble. Charedim tremble with awe before the Almighty. They therefore pay attention only to God and His Torah. That occupies their entire thinking. They tend to therefore reject modernity whenever they can.

Charedim tend to see the world in more or less black and white terms. Good and evil. So both the Meah Shearim extremist and the Charedi professional will look at a secular value in the same way. If it is not in the Torah it has no intrinsic value. To the extent that some will be involved at all in the secular world is to the extent they see it as necessary for their existence – mostly for Parnassa – or livelihood purposes.

There are of course differences in how far one will tread into the secular world for even that purpose which can in part explain why some Charedim become professionals and others do not. But the attitude is the same. Stay out of the general culture as much as possible and focus everything on the spiritual and fearing God.

The focus on the spiritual is the primary reason so many of them want to stay in learning. They see learning the word of God through His written Torah and its accompanying oral tradition as the highest calling of man. They are willing to sacrifice much of their material welfare for it. That kind of devotion results in a great number of them dedicating their entire adult lives to learning Torah.

These Charedim are perhaps the hardest working people on earth. And their work bears fruit. They know a lot of Torah. One would have to be blind, deaf, and dumb not to see the dedication of those sincere Charedim who learn full time and are doing it L’Shma. When entering the Beis HaMedrash at Yeshivas Mir one can feel that dedication. It is in the air. The level of Torah learning of the Charedi who learns there is the highest of high and has the broadest of scope.

The Hasmada – dedication to the ideal of learning Torah and the determination to know Torah is incomparable. No other stream of Orthodoxy can match it. When one experiences a Yeshiva like Mir and sees 5000 young men poring over the Talmudic texts and its commentaries, one can only experience envy. I envy their dedication and the knowledge they seek to attain - and do attain.

I have of course criticized Charedim for the vast numbers who do this for too long. There are far too many – perhaps even the majority – who should not be doing this full time for too long after marriage. But that is a separate issue. No one can deny the dedication of the vast majority of them. (Yes I know there are fakers there too – but I’m not talking about them.)

That I believe that many of them need to prepare for jobs and eventually get them is a separate issue too. So too is the poverty factor that is prevalent among them. The point here is that they are sincere and dedicated Jews who see their task in life as Godly. Their wisdom is firmly based on an awe of God. And they thus fear sin.

That is the common denominator. Charedim see only Torah and nothing else.

Modern Orthodox Jews are as completely observant as their Charedi counterparts. (Yes I know there are exceptions but Charedim have them too.)But they also believe that Torah does not forbid - and even encourages - participation in the modern world. Modern Orthodox Jews do not tremble before God. This does not mean they aren’t Yirei Shamyim or God fearing. They certainly are. But they do not focus on the trembling.

They focus on being the best Jew they can be without trembling. And to the extent they choose to participate in the general culture they do it in permissible ways that do not violate Halacha. The attitude is that God gave us a world to enjoy and told us how to do it (by following Halacha). One need not fear the world and may indeed embrace it.

Modern Orthodox Jews believe in learning Torah too. And they certainly have their share of Masmidim - people who spend the vast majority of their time learning Torah. But their dedication to Torah learning is not the same as the Charedi dedication. You will not see a Modern Orthodox Mir.

You will of course see a Yeshiva University Beis HaMedrash full of students learning diligently for many hours. The Kol Torah coming out of there is pretty strong. The Beis Hamedrash is rarely empty – just like a Charedi Beis HaMedrash. But it is not the Mir - or any other Charedi yeshiva like it. Yeshiva University believes in Torah U’Mada. That means that the entirety of the day is not spent learning Torah. A good part of it is spent on Mada.

Obviously I’m not saying that is a bad thing. Being an adherent of Torah U’Mada myself I strongly endorse this approach. I think this approach makes one a better Jew. But I fully admit that that the level of pure devotion to Torah learning is not the same as it is in a Yeshiva like the Mir. And that is something to be admired.

Workshops or Ethics?

Yeshiva World News reports that the community of Lakewood held a workshop on how to do things legally:

For three hours, a prestigious panel of legal and accounting experts offered observations and comments on a hypothetical scenario that brought to life principles of criminal law and banking/regulatory law, as well as accounting and not-for-profit issues addressed by both state and federal law.

Or as the Spinka Rebbe put it a few moths ago, how to be in compliance with the law when raising needed funds.

Many seemed to think that this workshop was a Kiddush HaShem. I do not. Although I do think it was unfortunately necessary in light of so many violations of law in matters of finance by Orthodox Jews.

What is sad about it is that it was needed at all. To quote the CEO of Lakewood Yeshiva, Rabbi Aaron Kotler – grandson of his illustrious namesake:

“I think all of us yearn for the day when being an Orthodox Jew would in and of itself be a bond and a guarantor of honesty and integrity.”

I think this statement sums up the sorry state of Orthodoxy. We yearn for a day that should be an integral part of every Jew. Obviously it is not.

Although Rabbi Kotler’s implication that Orthodox Jews are not looked as being honest and honorable - that is not necessarily the case. Most non Jews still see us as basically honest and honorable. But I certainly know where he is coming from. He understands quite clearly what all those financial crimes can mean to an on-looking world. And the perception will change if our behavior does not. They will come to easily see a Jew and think, ‘Madoff’, or ‘Spinka Rebbe’. Fortunately most Americans do not think that. Yet. Workshops like this will hopefully change things.

The question is what is lacking in our religious system of education that ends up requiring this kind of workshop? Why can we not recognize right from wrong on our own?

Part of the answer can be seen by the very nature of this workshop. It was not billed as one of Jewish ethics but one of compliance with the law. As if to say Jewish ethics do not meet the legal minimum standards of American law. Our standards are lower. We allow for some of the shenanigans that people were arrested for. It is only our ignorance of the law that is the problem - not our ethics.

In my view that is the wrong message. Rabbi Kotler’s words should be taken to heart as a way of understanding what our ethics should be and not what they apparently are.

It should not take a workshop about compliance with the law to achieve this. It takes an understanding of who we are and what we are supposed to represent. God wants us to be a light onto the nations. That does not just mean compliance with the law. It isn’t about learning what lines not to cross. It’s about not even dreaming of going anywhere near those lines. It’s about setting an example for the world with our behavior. It is - as Rabbi Kotler says - about the world seeing a Jew as a bond and a guarantor of honesty and integrity”.

Workshops on compliance will not teach us that. It has to be taught at the most basic level of Jewish education, starting in the home at the earliest age where a child learns by example and then in school all the way from kindergarten through high school and beyond. It is about teaching these values and parents and teachers being living examples of them.

It is apparent from the need for compliance workshops that this was not taught in many homes nor was it taught in many schools.

Either our educators took them for granted - or paid them no heed - or outright taught their students that is was OK to cheat and steal from Goyim if they could get away with it. I am sad to say that in some schools that was the message. For this latter group it is obvious why the focus is on compliance rather than ethics.

If we want people to see religious Jews as the paragons of virtue that God wants us to be we have to make certain that the curriculum of every single school in every category of the Orthodox Jewish world includes teaching ethical behavior.

As for those of us who are adults and no longer in school - we all ought to stop looking at how close we can come to violating the law without actually doing so. We ought to run as far away from that line as we can. It is only then that Rabbi Kotler’s yearnings will come to fruition - and honesty and integrity will become synonymous with Orthodoxy.

A Tragedy and the Lessons to be Learned

About a week ago I wrote a post about suicide and depression warning of its dangers if it goes untreated. That post was generated by the very unfortunate incident reported in a New York Post article last week. A young Orthodox Jew - married just 48 hours earlier had apparently jumped to his death.

At the time - expressing sensitivity to the bereaved - some criticized my writing about such a tragic event so close to its occurrence and questioned the accuracy of Post story. The parents had hardly begun grieving and there I was speculating about the cause. But I wrote about it because of the important message that story conveyed.

The truth is that I still have no idea about the hard facts of the death. I didn’t have any then and I don’t have any now. So what I am about to say should be seen in that light. Once again the message is too important to ignore. I base my comments on the latest New York Post story. I happen to believe that story is probably very close to being accurate. But – as I said – I have no way of knowing for sure. At this point there is no way of finding out.

According to the article there is some hard evidence of a serious problem although it is hardly conclusive of anything:

A security video at the hotel shows him looking "agitated" in an elevator with his wife…

The Post also reported the following:

A source familiar with the tragedy said Borger had confided in close relatives that he was molested while a teen attending a yeshiva, possibly by a rabbi, but they never went to police.

Again - I apologize to the family if any of this is hurtful to them. Of course the real hurt came when they were informed of his death. My words no matter how hurtful cannot surpass that pain. And if the information reported is false it should not be hurtful to them at all because none of what I write appies to them.

But as I said there are hard lessons to be learned here.

If the facts as represented in a story in the New York Post are true, then the tragedy is even greater. It makes what I wrote all the more true. However it adds a dimension that I did not address in my original post – that of sexual molestation.

According to Post sources the young man in question confided in his newly married wife the fact that he was sexually abused and that it he could not perform his marital obligations – ‘he couldn't go near her’.

This was obviously quite a shock to his new wife and she questioned why he married her in the first place. He admitted that he had been wrong not to divulge it and apparently became so despondent that at 6:45 the next morning he jumped to his death.

Thoughts of suicide are unfortunately a very common reaction to severe clinical depression. Many who suffer from it actually attempt it and some succeed. His depression was caused by sexual molestation. There can be no doubt that he was severely depressed – especially now.

To the rest of the world he was the picture of joy. That is often the nature of those who suffer from clinical depression - even to their closest friends. Depressed personalities are notoriously capable of hiding it from everyone. That’s why there is such disbelief and outraged by those who thought they knew him including the rabbi who spoke at his funeral and close friends.

The only ones who are aware of such things are those who live with them. Like parents or spouses. If the facts as reported in the Post are true then in this case, the parents apparently knew. But instead of having him treated (and with the best of intentions) they married him off. They probably believed that this change in his life would cure him of his problems.

If he was getting any psychiatric treatment - the mental health professional treating him should have never let him get married. He either received no treatment - or it was grossly incompetent. Or he was indeed advised by his therapist not to get married - but neither he nor his family listened. If that is true then the therapist was probably bound by professional ethics not to reveal this situation to anyone. If that is what happened I suppose that would absolve him of any culpability.

Is there any question any more about the necessity of reporting abuse to the police? Is there any question any more of seeking professional help? And making certain that they are not quacks or in other ways incompetent? And is there any question any more that worrying about ‘the shiddach’ is wrong thing to do when fearing therapy might make these things public?

Not in my mind!

Success That is Breeding Failure

Once again, Jonathan Rosenblum hits the nail on the head in an article published in Mishpacha Magazine and republished on Cross-Currents. Although I’m not sure he intended it this way - the message cannot be clearer. It is something I write about constantly. The system is broken.

I refer to the system of perhaps the largest and certainly one of the fastest growing segments of Orthodoxy: the right wing Yeshiva world of both Israel and America.

His focus is on Shiduchim and how that has evolved. Shiduchim in that world are chosen based on money. Money is perhaps the most important feature sought in a relationship. Midos? Intelligence? Parenting skills? Yes - of course they are important. But the focus has turned more towards money: How will a Yeshivishe family be supported?

The world of Yeshivos has evolved into one of the most successful enterprises in Jewish history - if success is defined as achieving one's goals. There are more men learning full time than ever. But that success is not without some very severe consequences.

Over the years the emphasis in Chinuch was constant and consistent. It was for men to learn full time and for women to seek those men as their ideal mates. As such women’s Chinuch has evolved into how to best accommodate that goal. Rich fathers in law are becoming scarce so the focus is on how to maximize incomes of women. They must find good jobs themselves so their husbands will be free to sit and learn full time for as long as possible.

So now instead of women looking for security by landing a husband who will provide a good income - it is the men looking for women who will do this. Women’s seminaries in Israel are now apparently geared toward that end.

No longer are they taught about the virtues of being a mother. That has become secondary to them – perhaps considered a given. They are taught the highest aspiration a woman can have is to find a husband who learns Torah full time – just as all men are taught that their highest aspiration is to sit and learn Torah full time and forgo making a living.

As Jonathan points out many of the seminaries in Israel have now even opened up vocational training centers for their students so they can be better prepared for their tasks as wives of Bnei Torah. Of course they stop short of offering them the kind of education that can produce higher incomes for fear of making them careerists. But that does not change the facts on the ground.

Traditional Jewish values have turned topsy turvy. Insteed of woman as mother raising children in the home, and husband as provider- women are now the providers. And men are increasingly taking over as caregivers for their children at home – supplementing daycare centers and baby sitters.

This is how upside down this community has become. Men who seek Shiduchim now look for women who will be good providers. I defy anyone to claim that this is God’s intent for His people!

Fortunately this situation has caused some backlash. Rabbis in that world are now turning to the sage advice of past giants like the Steipler Gaon. From the article:

Rabbi Y. Pfeuffer, a rav on the Beis Din of Sheiris Yisrael, began by quoting the Steipler Gaon to the effect that families should not incur debts in order to purchase apartments in Bnei Brak. When someone pointed out to him that the “shpitz” bochurim demand apartments in Bnei Brak or Jerusalem, the Steipler answered: “Klal Yisrael has never been built by ’shpitzim.’

Only those who learn with humility and without demands will emerge as talmidei chachamim. Nothing will come of those who make excessive demands.” The next speaker, Rabbi Yehoshua Ravitz, the Mashgiach of Yeshivas Beis Mattisiyahu, also decried the destruction of middos that comes from the desire to secure a “rich” shidduch.

In the A.M. Amitz story, an approach justified in the name of Torah ended up producing less Torah, with the husbands giving up their second seder in kollel to take care of the house.

I think they are right. Not that I don’t want those in learning to live well. I do. But that should not be a value or a goal for them. Those who seek money so as to live a certain standard are not the ones who will become future leaders. They will not become the next Steipler Gaon or Chazon Ish. They will just be another victim of the system whose children will become victims too. And there are lots of children.

Whether Jonathan realizes it or not, this article is an indictment of a failed system. Not the learning. That is a success. But in its ability to survive. It's not that the goal of learning full time is an unworthy goal. It is a very worthy goal for those who are capable of becoming future leaders of the Jewish people. It is to be encouraged for them. And there is room for many such leaders in every area of Jewish life.

But it is a failed system for the majority of it’s participants. One that has produced a topsy turvy world; one that is filled with poverty. One where large families guarantee an even more impoverished future if things continue as they are.

Although Jonathan doesn’t say so, the upshot of his article is that if one is truly interested in ‘living standards’ and ‘income’, one should change his goal from learning full time to eventually working full time. He must therefore prepare for that eventuality by getting an education that will enable it - whether it is college or vocational school. Because if that doesn’t change and men continue to be encouraged to learn full time as long as possible without any thought or preparation for the future that world may implode and come to an inglorious end.

Blood Libel or Justice?

The verdict is startling. Guilty on 86 of 91 counts of federal fraud. So said a unanimous jury of Shalom Rubashkin’s peers yesterday.

I am not here to pile on to this man’s travails. He is likely facing a very stiff price for his wrongdoing. And he still faces other charges on violations of immigration law. 72 counts. That trial is set for December. His attorney will appeal the verdict but as of now he has been taken into custody because he is considered a flight risk. A decision on bail will be made on November 18th.

Both he and his family seemed genuinely shocked by the verdict. I suppose that’s understandable. The entire family is now suffering. I can’t imagine what this has been like for someone who was on top of the world a few short years ago. He almost single handedly revitalized the town of Postville in Iowa. He was wealthy – had a reputation as a big philanthropist - a reputation for personal kindness - and the legitimate claim that his Kosher products were being distributed to far flung areas of the United States making it easier for Jews to buy kosher meat…. and at reasonable prices.

What happened?

We could in the past all speculate about his guilt or innocence about any of those charges. We can even now speculate about whether there was an overly zealous government investigation and prosecution. As we can even about Mr. Rubashkin simply not being aware that what he was doing was wrong. He still makes the claim that he is innocent even now after the verdict. Of course so do most people convicted of crimes. Prisons are full of them.

But I don’t think there can be too much doubt now about his actual guilt. The evidence was presented at trial – the jury looked at it and found him guilty. The best he can hope for is the mercy of the court.

I in fact feel bad for him now as he faces possible life imprisonment - from what I understand. That seems a little harsh. I tend to doubt that the verdict will be overturned on appeal. So I hope justice is tempered with mercy. But I do believe that the verdict was just.

I have already dealt with the massive Chilul HaShem aspect of this in the past. The evidence was indeed massive. All attempts to say otherwise are speculations from those trying to be Dan L’Kaf Zechus without knowing all the facts. They saw a religious Jew doing business and perhaps violating some minor laws - which everyone else violates and concluded that he was being unfairly targeted. They are trying to say he was railroaded either because he is a Jew or because of federal prosecutors were just over aggressive -trying to make a name for themselves. Well - maybe they were but that doesn’t lessen his guilt.

The jury had facts. There was a change of venue in order to avoid biases of jurors selected from a town that had fallen out of favor with him and his company. Jurors from another location found him guilty. Unless anti-Semitism can be proven the verdict was arrived at honestly. There is absolutely no reason to suspect anti-Semitism here.

Which brings me to the purpose of this post. Matzav.com calls it a blood libel - right in the title of its reactive post. The rest of the article treats him as though he was innocent and asks for donations and prayer on his behalf. I have no problem with personal donations or prayer. But I have a major issue with their attitude.

Blood Libel?!

Does Matzav think we still live in Czarist Russia? Do they not realize what they are saying? They think the government is so anti-Semitic that they are making up charges for the sole purpose of persecuting a Jew?!

What a sorry state of affairs when a website that supposedly represents Charedi thinking comes up with rhetoric like this! Is this the Charedi view of reality in this country? If it is, I don’t see how they can explain all the evidence to the contrary. I am not even going to attempt to list that evidence. It is enormous. Our acceptance as equals among men here is unprecedented in the history of the Jewish people.

We are more than accepted. We are admired. Yes there is unfortunately some stereotypical residue left from the past about what Jews look like and act like. But there is absolutely no argument about our integrity. Even though it should have come into question last year with all those misdeeds by religious Jews being reported in the media. Our reputation for integrity and honesty as a people is still intact.

If one Jew messes up, he messes up! Period. This is fortunately how the American people see this case. They do not generalize. Thank God. To scream blood libel here is an insult to the American people, to the the Rubashkin judge and jury, and an outrage to me!

Is it possible that all the jurors got it wrong? Sure - it’s possible. It’s always possible (although personally I doubt it in this case). I have to believe that in the vast majority of cases - jury verdicts of guilt or innocence are accurate. To call the verdict a blood libel is an insult to this country’s system of justice and by itself a major Chilul HaShem.

Matzav.com has blinders on to the truth. They feel that a jury of his peers MUST be wrong. It is impossible for the jury to be right about this great Jewish humanitarian. They entirely bought the defense's perspective on this case. What they apparently don’t realize is that they may be missing something from their perspective. It may just be possible that the image they see of this man is a facade. But in its zeal to protect a religious Jew from harm in what they see as an unfair process and verdict - Matzav.com has embarrassed itself. Big time!