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| Orthodox Women in Medicine (TOI) |
This may sound counterintuitive, but the truth is that the
lifestyle of full-time Torah study by Charedi men could not have been sustained
without it. The feminist push for equal rights for women enabled women to
pursue lucrative careers - earning enough to relieve their husbands of the
responsibility to support the family. In most cases, Charedi women have become
the breadwinners. Feminism opened the door to careers that were formerly closed
to women.
This, of course, has turned traditional Jewish values on
their head. In Judaism, the roles for men and women are traditionally very
structured: men are supposed to support their families, while women are meant
to take care of the home, raise the children, and nurture them. In my view, the
children are often getting short shrift in this arrangement. There is simply
not enough time for a mother to devote to her children if she is, for example,
a cardiothoracic surgeon whose life-saving services are in constant demand and
cannot be delayed.
The point is that a win for feminism (the byproduct of which
is a win for the Kollel lifestyle) is not necessarily a win for the family.
This is not to say it is impossible to ‘chew gum and walk’. But rather that
sometimes great success comes with collateral damage. In this case the casualty
of feminism’s victories is that many women who choose demanding careers delay
having children, sometimes well into their 40s. While women in their forties
can still have children, the chances for a healthy child decrease with age. The
solution for many is to freeze their eggs while still in their 20s, when
fertility is highest and the likelihood of healthy births is greater. Those
eggs are then fertilized and implanted much later in life. The problem is, this
doesn’t always work for various reasons. In more than a few cases those women
are not even married and use donor sperm. And if the pregnancy takes (which is not always
the case - they become single mothers. Depriving their child of the full family
experience that includes having a father.
Ironically, what was once predicted in the 1960s to be an
unmanageable ‘population explosion’ many decades hence - has gone in the
opposite direction. The U.S. population is shrinking. We are not replacing
ourselves at the current rate of 1.6 children per family.
As an aside this negatively affects the financial stability
of a large and aging population (baby boomers like me), whose social security
benefits are funded by a shrinking workforce. In other words - the math doesn’t
work.
What feminism has done, in my view, is erode the traditional
roles of men and women and contribute to a decline in U.S. birth rates. Many
women no longer place high enough value on their primary roles as mothers and
homemakers to make them the central priority of their lives. Careers take
precedence over family, even if that means delaying motherhood and freezing
their eggs to become mothers later - once their careers are in high gear.
Please don’t misunderstand me. I think it’s wonderful that women now have the opportunity to excel in careers that were once the exclusive domain of men. There is no reason a woman cannot become the top neurosurgeon in the world. Intellect, talent, and determination are not gender-specific. And I could not feel a greater sense of pride in my people when something like that happens.
But still, something very valuable has been lost in the process. I have to wonder whether
subordinating motherhood to career goals is worth the price.
I’m sure some will see my thoughts as sexist. I can’t
control how people react. But I remain a strong believer in equal pay for equal
work and in equal opportunity for men and women in any career they choose. That
said, it cannot be denied - at least in my mind - that something major has been
lost. The freedom to choose a lifestyle that precludes the primary role Judaism
assigns to women of being an Akeres Habayis (the anchor of the home) and
a 24/7 nurturing mother - may not be something to celebrate quite so
uncritically.
Interestingly, out of concern for the declining birth rate,
there is now a natalist movement in the U.S. that advocates for higher birth
rates, prioritizes family formation, and de-emphasizes women’s careers. I don’t
know how large this movement is, but if the U.S. wants to reverse the
population decline, this would be a good place to start.
That, however, is not a problem the Charedi world faces. They
are far ahead of the game in this regard. The only question is: what is a
high-paying, time-consuming, family-supporting career doing to their children?
It would be interesting to get input from Kollel wives who
have these kinds of careers. Anyone like that reading this - I would love to hear from you.
