A Brief Review of "Sliding to the Right"

Guest Post

Mr. Steve Brizel has offered to write a critique of the recently published book by Dr Heilman. Although I have never personally met Steve, I have known him via the Avodah/Areivim e-mail list for many years and know him to be a man of great integrity. We think alike on most issues and when we ocassionally disagree it is with the utmost of mutual resoect. I have not personally read the book but with that intriguing title, I plan to. In any case without any further ado here is Steve’s analysis:

Dr. Samuel Heilman is one of the foremost scholars of ethnic sociology, with a number of books on American Jewry and the Charedi world. His latest book "Sliding To the Right" has much to commend to the both the Charedi and Modern Orthodox ( MO) reader. However, IMO, the book is flawed and suffers from a number of historical , sociological and ultimately hashkafic flaws.

As I stated, "Sliding To The Right" has an excellent generalized review of the growth of Torah Judasim in the US, especially after WW2. However, there are some serious errors in this regardrender much of the analysis and conclusions open to a number of varying and different interpetations. Moreover, the work suffers from a sanguine of the not so good old days of MO . Here are some of the more glaring errors:

In the first instance, Dr Heilman's presents the reader with a highly simplistic view of RYBS. Dr Heilman cites numerous MO rabbanim favorably and condemns the influence of RHS. In fact, R Rakkaffet quotes RYBS as viewing his students in the 1970s as being far superior to his students from the early 1940s and 1950s. RYBS's influence, Talmidim Muvhakim, the yeshiva world's relationship with RYBS and his view on ecumenical issues and feminism are passed over in silence.While Dr. Heilman's portrait of RYBS as a philosopher and MO leader, all of RYBS's Talmidie Muvhakim ranging from RAL to RHS reject that as RYBS's main focus.

RYBS, as opposed to just RMF, was very much opposed to ecumenical dialogue of a theological nature with other faiths. RYBS also opposed joint rabbinical bodies with heterodox movements which he viewed as impinging on halachic prerogatives but supported lay MO groups who participated in groups that dealt with external and non-halachic issues and allowed them to exercise a veto on any herterodox suggestions that remotely smacked of religious pluralism. The existence of this veto caused the heterodox groups to leave the Synagogue Council of America, as opposed to the MO walk out suggested by Dr. Heilman. These long established facts are nowhere to be found in either the text or the copius endnotes.



RYBS opposed the feminsist critqiue of halacha which was aided and abetted by some prominent MO rabbinical figures. Dr Heilman viewed Edah as a counter attack by this group and its lay board. Yet, Edah very recently closed up shop-allegedly because of financial issues . IMO, one argue that Edah never developed any traction out of the circles that founded and directed it. More fundamentally, one can argue that its On Line Journal contained second rate scholarship and a fawning attitude for heterodox scholars and views. This editorial stance and attitude was frequently accompanied by an attitude of near contempt for anyone that would follow or advocate adherence to accepted Psak. The articles contained therein also ignored the teachings of RYBS . IMO, its conferences and agendas had the aura of a MO equivalent of a Woodstock reunion focusing on issues that had lost their importance and relevance many years ago.

Dr Heilman broadly hinted that ikarim of Yahadus such as Am Segulah and Bchiras Yisrael were racist. IMO, this suggestion bespeaks a doctoral level of secular education and a Jewish education that seemingly lacks familiarity with Hashkafa 101 as developed by Chazal and Rishonim, especially the Mfarshim on the relevant Biblical passages.

Dr Heilman's understanding of TSBP is largely based on the seminal article of DCS. Yet, one can argue that both DCS and Dr Heilman ignore the dynamic nature of TSBP which allows for Chiddushim in every generation both lchumra and lkulah and which can change that which was prohibited into the permitted and vice versa. FWIW, Dr Judith Bleich disputes and repudiates DCS's notion that our unlearned ancestors understood the meaning of Tefilah, etc than we do and applauds the development of a generation that is mdakdek, as opposed to being either mindlessly machmir or meikil.

Dr Heilman bemoans the takeover of MO schools by Charedi educated educators. Yet, he offers no suggestions to attract MO educated teachers and seemingly ignores YU"s own graduate school in Jewish education that produces trained mchanchim who are musmachim and Kolleleit of RIETS.In addition, Dr. Heilman offers no serious analysis of the two sides of the same coin-kiruv rchokim and chizuk krovim. There is an all too brief discussion of NCSY and its achievements and a reference to winter Kollels without analzying why anyone would opt to become a BT or spend a winter break learming Torah.

Dr Heilman shares with many MO laypersons a misguided view of RIETS. They view RIETS primary function as training MO rabbanim. That view simply is IMO mistaken. WADR, one cannot claim or wish that RIETS is a Beis Charoshes LaRabbanim ( "rabbinical factory" as R Chaim Ozer ZTL called the Hildesheimer Seminary possibly incorrectly- BUT which might be applicable to a would be competitor of RIETS known as Yeshivat Chovevei Torah). Dr. Heilman seemingly overlooks or rejects the notion that a yeshiva's best products may not just be Gdolim, but Baalei Batim who are Shomrei Torah Umitzvos whose vocation may be learning, despite their occupations during their working hours.

RIETS is a yeshiva that produces world class talmidie chachamim from its kollels, as well as pulpit rabbanim, mchanchim., rebbes and chaplains. It also produces many educated Baalei Batim and lay leaders. RIETS 's students also organize and run the largest Seforim Sale of Seforim, etc in the Western Hemisphere.

Despite the fact that he excoriates RHS's POV and views in general, Dr Heilman's book contains nothing that would show that he spent any time discovering what a RIETS kollel avrech does in the course of a day. IMO, this presentation is simply deficient in too many ways to be fully articulated in this review. Yet, I do believe that this is a flaw that one cannnot ignore in passing.

Anyone who knows anything about the RIETS Kollelim could have told Dr Heilman that RIETS Kollelim undergo frequent rigorous bchinos that separate the stars from the pretenders.Unlike other yeshivos, they receieve a decent stipend but cannot sit and learn forever. Many have assumed their roles as rabbanim and mchanchim, These young men also give chaburos ( oral presentations ) in front of the RK and their peers, publish in Torah journals , help RY edit articles and seforim and give shiurim in shuls around the country. Many also pursue graduate degrees in Jewish education, receive extensive training in pastoral psychology and public speaking and are exposed to a battery of speakers in conferences who probably would not speak before any Kollel. These young men are all brilliant and have literally given up the possibility of earning megadollars in the professions or Wall Street to become the next generation of Poskim, rabbanim and Magidei Shiurim. IMO, their regimen is as focused and rigorous as an intern/resident/ fellow in medical training or an associate in a white shoe law firm grinding his way to partnership. Perhaps, Dr Heilman should have spent a day inside the RIETS Kollelim instead of focussing on websites and wall posters.

More critically, IMO , there is another significant methodological flaw is comparing the Charedi neighborhoods of Williamsburg, Crown Heights and Boro Park with the far more cosmopolitan neighborhood of Kew Gardens Hills solely based upon the external evidence. IMO, this technique ignores the fact that the three Charedi neighborhoods are far more monolithic in terms of hashkafa and residents than KGH. KGH is a unique neighborhood where Rabbanim and Baale Batim work together on many aspects of Torah, Avodah and Gmilus Chasadim and where we have the unique honor of many different Talmidei Chachamim grace our steets and shuls as neighbors and friends. Where else could R F Schonfeld, R NI Oelbaum, Yeshiva Chafetz Chaim, Yeshivas Ohr HaChaim, Lander College for Men, R D D Berger and R D S Leiman all live and feel welcome? Where else could both RHS and RN Oelbaum speak together? Where else does a Vaad HaRabbonim not only provide a first rate hashgacha but also helps new educational initatives get off the ground? Contrary to Dr Heilman's contentions, there is little, if any, presence of the Psak by Poster phenomenon that is present in other Charedi communities.

More fundamentally, Dr Heilman views religious change and evolution by MO adolescents as imposed from without, as opposed to emerging from these young men and women who have been exposed to a world that simply values Torah, Avodah and Gmilus Chasadim as a a 24/7 way of life and Talmidie Chachamim in a very profound way as opposed to a minimal MO manner.Dr. Heilman bemoans Kevias Itim LaTorah and Tefilah with Kavanah as evidence of cult like behavior and denies the possibility of genuine growth, as opposed to stagnation in Avodas HaShem. Dr Heilman fails to address the issue that some MO parents seemingly view religious change in Israel as more of a threat to their lifestyle and compromises with halacha than that of a child who dropped observance completely, regardless of the etiology.

In summary, while Dr Heilman's latest book has to offer in its analysis of the trends within MO, it ultimately misses the target and contains faulty history and hashkafic analysis combined with a bias towards the M side of MO.

How Big Should a Family Be?

Large families are quite common in Orthodox households. It is not unusual to see eight or nine children and there are some families that have 13, 14, 15 children or even more. The more ultra Orthodox the family is, the more likely this scenario. I of course have no problem with the zealous performance of the Mitzvah of Pru Urvu. Large families are a blessing to Klal Yisroel provided the children are well cared for and raised properly. And in many… probably most cases that is what happens. To one extent or another, children are raised well and grow up to be fine productive members of the Torah community.

One of the finest families I know has produced 12 children. Each one is a wonderful member of the community… some married with families of their own. These kids were raised well. The family has the means and more importantly the ability to do the kind of parenting that produces these kinds of results. The parents are of the highest moral and ethical caliber. They live their values... and the chidren absored them. Another family I know that are Chasidim have a similarly large family and though their means are limited, their children too are of the highest caliber each one of them a role model for Midos and refined character.

But there’s a fly in the ointment. All is not well in the world of large families. It is too often the case that large families do not thrive and are dysfunctional. There are many reasons for this and one cannot necessarily blame family size for the ills of society. But that doesn’t mean there isn’t a problem. The fact is that some families are too large. I know that a statement like this seems like blasphemy to some people. But the fact is that a large dysfunctional families are a prescription for disaster (as any size dysfunctional family is) but the large size of such a family not only increases the numbers of children at risk, it exacerbates the problem internally making the dysfunction even worse.

A lot of this problem stems from a misunderstanding of the Mitzvah of Pru Urvu. The fact is that the according to most opinions… one boy and one girl fulfills the Mitzvah. But many Poskim (especially Chasidic ones) Paskin that one may never refrain from having children, no matter how many one already has. They rarely give Heterim for contraception… and usually only for health reasons.

Please do not misunderstand. Contraception is not a simple Halachic matter and one must ask a competent Rav about when it is permitted (it isn’t automatic) and how one goes about it (Many methods are Assur). My advice would be to seek a legitimate Posek who is not a Chasid and does not have as his mission to repopulate the Jewish people for our losses in the holocaust.

Unfortunately it seems that in some circles, especially in Charedi sections in Israel, the situation is so bad that some Poskim forbid even breast feeding a baby too long since that is a method of contraception (not that this is a particularly effective method.) … even if contraception isn’t the purpose. A female poster on Areivim who lives in Israel said the following:

“Things have gotten so bad that I personally know of several cases where women were using the "safe days" method -- delaying tevilla b/c their rabbi wouldn't give them a heter to delay pregnancy.”

“Yes, it's true, rabbis are telling women that they do not have the right NOT to have children.”

To make matters worse, many of these women have been indoctrinated with values so skewed from the norm...that they make the most outrageous of decisions. As the poster further points out:

“The idea of "catching up with the Greens" has gotten so far out of hand, that women who have already 4, 6, or 8 children, and are in their late 30s/40s -- are going to fertility clinics to be able to have additional children(!). Instead of saying B"H for what we have -- there is pressure to "catch up" and have more and more and more children -- without any interest or regard for the mother's physical or mental health; nor for the physical or mental health of the children being born to a woman who is forced into this situation and truly can't cope.”

I sympathize with the poster’s final comment:

“It's very easy to sit in a Beit Midrash and count the number of children someone should have. HKB"H has His own Cheshbon, and we should say thanks for what we have, and do our best with the children Hashem HifKid BeYadeinu.”

SheLo Asani Isha

One of the most difficult Brachos for me to understand is the Bracha Shelo Asani Isha. Those who know me will recognize my complaint. I cannot understand how that Bracha could be composed. I have had numerous discussion with some very brilliant people on Avodah about this issue but it has not resolved this issue for me. Why am I thanking God that he did not make me a woman? Why is being a man so special? The classic answer is that men have more Mitzvos and that is what we are really thanking Him for.

But why should that be significant? If women have less Mitzvos then they don’t need them as much. In other words they achieve the same status in the eyes of God as man does for their Mitzvos as we do for ours. So in essence we are thanking God for giving us more work to do without any real benefit.

And why make the Bracha in such negative fashion? Why thank God for NOT making me a woman? Let me thank God for making me a man! And why do women not have the same Bracha in reverse? Why do not they thank God for not making them a man?

I have heard many different answers to this question and have yet to here a satisfactory one. I just don’t get it.

The Big Bang as Apikursus

I received a phone call today from a young man who teaches in very RW day schools and high schools here in Chicago. He told me that in one school an eighth grader who had heard the term for the first time… asked him what the ‘big bang” was. He explained it saying that it is how scientists think all matter and energy got here: One incredible explosion. There is of course nothing incompatible between the Big Bang Theory and the Torah’s narrative of the creation of the universe. Both science and the Torah say that the universe was created Yesh MeAyin. But when the child came home and told his father what their teacher told them… he went apoplectic!

He called this teacher and read him the riot act. “How dare he teach young children Apikursus?” And as if that wasn’t enough he called certain Roshei Yeshiva who severely castigated him as well. And the students at the RW Yeshiva high school where he teaches somehow got wind of it and when they saw him they started taunting him calling him an Apikores!

I did not realize until just now how bad the situation with respect to antagonism to science is in the world of the right wing. Is it possible they don’t even understand such a simple and basic concept like the Big bBang? Is there so much ignorance and fear of science that they have chew out a teacher who has said and done nothing to contradict the Torah at all… just because they heard a phrase identified with science?

And if, on the other hand, they do know what the Big Bang is, why are they so against teaching it? Must they put down every word of science just to uphold Emunah? Is a scientific conclusion going to be trumped just because it was espoused from a non Torah source … even if it might be true and doesn’t contradict anything in the Torah?

This can’t be what God wants from His people. I can’t believe that Chachma of the Umos HaOlam must be rejected anytime it dares to bring up something about the origins of the universe that did not originate in the Torah. No where in any of the sources does it say anything about the method of creation. The Torah does not speak of a “Big Bang”. It is silent on the issue. If scientists, after much study and analysis have theorized that the universe was created in one instant, in the form of a big explosion, what is wrong with believing that? Why must these Roshei Yeshiva deny what is at this point in time the best estimate of how the universe was created?

It is no small wonder that they fear Rabbi Slifkin’s books will turn their flock into a bunch of Kofrim. If RW Bnei Torah can’t handle the Big Bang, they certainly can’t handle questions about the age of the universe, the Mabul,, or evolution.

The bottom line is that if they keep teaching things that are so easily refuted by those outside the Torah world, then the slightest encounter that a RW Ben Torah will ever have outside the Daled Amos of the Beis Hamedrash might easily turn him into an atheist. You can’t shelter all these people forever. Many of them will encounter it. And they will be ill prepared to deal with it except to go off the Derech. And if they are married with children at the time… it will magnify the tragedy exponentially.

Outdoor Chupahs

I was at a wedding yesterday where the Mesader Kedushin (officiating Rabbi) insisted on having an outdoor Chupah. It was a day of “on again off again” rain. The parents of both the Kallah and Chasan wouldn’t have minded if not for the unsettled weather. After due consideration and a very rainy morning the parents decided to have it indoors and that’s where everything was set up. But the Mesader insisted that if it stops raining they should take it outside. The rain stopped, and they had to move everything outside! Fortunately it didn’t rain during the Chupah. But many of the guests were having a good chuckle about it. It was also very humid and fairly uncomfortable.

If I recall correctly the Shulchan Aruch mentions that Chupos should be outside. But I have been to many weddings that have had Gedolei Yisroel being Mesader and none of them ever insisted on having it outside, especially if it was against the against the better judgment of the parents. Apparently it is not an Halachic requirement. So when I see people insisting on things that aren’t required by Halacha it upsets me. It is one thing to suggest it… but to require it?! Who gives anyone the right to override the wishes of the Baalei Simcha?

The Mesader in this case was a Chasidic Rebbe. I know that Chasidim are generally more Makpid than non Chasisdic Rabanim. But this particular Rebbe is a very popular one and is known to be very progressive and accommodating. Why did he insist on this? Is it because there is some Kabbalistic attachment to having the Chupah under Kipas HaShamayim?

Well if that’s the reason, it is yet another reason to avoid Chasidus as a religious option. The more Kabalistic one is the less rational it seems. I don’t care how caring and kind one is. If he makes decisions based on Kabbala, I don’t want to have anything to do with him.

For those who think it is a Siman Bracha to have it outside… I wonder if there are any statistics to substantiate whether those who have had outdoor Chupas have happier, more successful marriages. I’d be willing to bet that it doesn’t make any difference at all. Succesful marriages have nothing to do with whether one had an outdoor Chupah or not. My Chupah was indoors. My marriage is both successful and happy.

And my children… pure Gold.

Professor Robert Aumann

Last week I had the privilege of listening to Nobel Laureate, Professor Robert Aumann speak at the Arie Crown Hebrew Day School banquet in Chicago. It was via a live feed from Petra, Jordan where he was attending a conference of Nobel Laureates dealing with Middle East peace. It was about 4 o’clock in the morning for him but he graciously accepted to address our banquet at that hour.

It was a fascinating experience for me. The live feed was two-way. We could not only hear and see him, he could hear us. But more fascinating than the technology that enabled it were the words he spoke about his experiences in Stockholm and in Jordan. In the aggregate it was a big Kiddush HaShem.

He told that he took his entire family with him wife, children and grandchildren ... a total of 34 people. So not only was he wearing a Kipa... all the male members of his entourage did. When he got to the podium he made the Bracha of HaTov VeHametiv ...B’Shem U’Machus. And he got a huge Amein from his entire entourage.

The required attire for the evening for anyone in attendance was white tie and tails so there he was... white tie and tails, long flowing beard, and a white Kipa Seruga. It must have been quite a sight. And all the male members of his family wore white tie and tails too, including the young grandchildren. From an article in a local periodical here, I learned that they did not use the formalwear provided by the Nobel committee in Stockholm. Those contained Shatnez. Instead all the formal wear was rented in Tel Aviv.

At the Petra conference he met Noble laureate Elie Weisel and Prime Minister Ehud Olmert. And when he met the King Abdullah of Jordan, at the Petra conference he made the Bracha upon seeing a Melech B’Shem U’Malcchus because Abdullah has real power. Abdullah was very impressed when he translated it for him. Professor Aumann also told us that when he saw the king of Sweden in Stockholm, he made the Bracha for a Melech without Shem U’Malchus because the king of Sweden has no power.

What was really quite impressive were the lengths that the Nobel committee went to accommodate the religious needs of professor Aumann. The Saturday ceremony did not begin until Motzoei Shabbos. The royal meal included Kosher food for the Aumanns. They were served on new china and new silverware and new gold stemmed crystal. Waiters came to the table with washing cups and bowls for Netilas Yadayim. The next day at the king’s palace the ancient silverware was kashered for them.

But his greatest moment of pride it seems occurred when he saw the flags of all the countries represented by the Nobel Prize winners. There were, I believe, 8 winners from six countries. So there were six flags over a Swedish government building. The one just to the right of the Swedish flag in the center was the Israeli flag.

Professor Aumann also spoke a bit about the Petra conference. He said that the most important and perhaps the only real solution for peace is education. It is what the young Arab children learn at an early age in school that determines how they will treat Jews as adults. That is the key to peace in the future. It was agreed by all attending the conference that the key to peace is the elimination of hatred of Jews from the curriculum of all Arab nations across the region. Without that, there can be no hope. I agree.

This is a man I can truly admire. I have heard some very controversial things quoted in his name. But none of this came up when he addressed us. If anything I saw a man who loves the Torah... he still learns daily with the same Chavrusa for over 30 years. He loves his people, his nation, and respects his nation’s leadership. He reflects values which I preach and try to live by.

The choice by the ACHDS banquet committee to feature him as a guest speaker and his acceptance was natural. It was a perfect fit for the school.

Rates of Dropout from the Torah World

There has been a discussion of the book “Off the Derech” on Areivim. I haven’t yet read the book but according to those who have, there has been a conclusion drawn from it that the drop-out rate has increased equally among MO and Charedim… both here and in Israel. If this was stated in a context of defending the Charedim as not the only ones suffering from kids going of the Derech, I think the argument fails. It does not make the Charedi situation any better. If a child is liable to drop out equally in either community why bother sheltering their children to the extent they do?

The claim is constantly made by the ultra Orthodox that the sheltering done within the Charedi community is a far better way to insure that their children will stay on the Derech. They say the Modern Orthodox method of allowing exposure to the surrounding culture can only lead to failure and that the dropout rate is far greater amongst MO then it is amongst the RW.

So,using that argument they go to great lengths to shelter their children from every possible contact with the outside world: No TV, no movies, no magazines, no newspapers, no internet, no radio, no secular music… and in more extreme cases no bicycle riding (certainly not for girls). But it is apparent from the above that it doesn’t really make any difference. There is an equal drop out rate in both communities.

I’ve often argued that limited and controlled exposure to the outside world is the best way to be Mechanech your children. Of course you have to monitor what they watch and read etc. But in the end they will build up the antibodies needed to fight off the draw away from Yiddishkeit if they are allowed to participate with the Kosher versions of the culture they inhabit.

The cynical retort to this has always been a rhetorical “sure… expose them to smut so they can fight it off”. Well that is neither what I said nor advocate. I advocate "controlled" exposure.

Of what benefit is it to the Torah Judaism to insist on such extreme sheltering? Has it produced a stronger commitment to Torah in their children? Apparently not.

I suspect that aside from the dangerous shock of encountering what the outside world has to offer… there is another problem with this over-sheltering approach. Their children often suffer from unbearable boredom during their free time because of the severe limitations on activities they can do. There is precious little these children can do for fun and that leads them to doing mischief. And that is as contributory to dropping out as anything in Modern Orthodoxy.

True… Modern Orthodoxy does not fare any better. But it is time for Charedim to realize that their approach is no better either and stop saying that children of MO homes are at far greater risk than children of Charedi homes. They aren’t.

Absurd Standards of Tznius

I cannot take it anymore. The lengths to which some communities go to outfrum… even themselves is absolutely ridiculous. Here’s is why I bring this up.

A dear friend of mine passed away last Sunday. His daughters and mine were very close friends in both elementary school and high school. One in particular with my oldest. She now lives in Monsey and is sitting Shiva here with her sisters and mother. It was sad to see her under these circumstances but at the same time it was good see her again as it has been many years. She was a regular in my house as was my daughter in her house.

During a Shiva call that my daughter made to her, a very ultra-O Chicago Rav came in who is very close with the family and proceeded to talk with the widow about matters of Aveilus. My daughter’s friend turned to her and said “It’s so nice to see Rabbanim actually speaking normally to a woman. In her community in Monsey no Rav would ever do that.

NO RAV WOULD EVER DO THAT?! Why? She does not live in Charedi Israel nor is her community Chasidic. She was raised in a family like mine and attended a Centrist type schools. She had a TV in her house went to movies… But now she considers it the norm that Rabbanim should not speak to women even in matters like Hilchos Aveilus. In her community the Rav would have only spoken to her Uncles there and had them relay the information to the rest of the family. This is where the Charedi community is going… right into Taliban country.

You want further proof? There is an article in The Jerusalem Post that tells of the policy of the English language Charedi newspaper, Hamodia to not publish photos of any women… no matter how Tznius they are dressed… and no matter how old… or young. Because of this policy they censored a catalogue of Feldheim books that contained a book with an unblured image of a female infant.
Want more? My nephew wrote a biography about my father which contained pictures of our family. But when they showed up I the book… all wives were edited out. No pictures of any women. Not my mother (his bubbie) not his mother… no one. Why did he do it? Because he wanted to get as wide acceptance as he could and he knows about the Hamodia crowd. True… he has become very Charedi. But that’s not why he did it. He told me he wants to cater to the most stringent standard so as to get the widest possible distribution.

Why does it disturb me so… that these kinds of standards are insisted upon in some communities? Why don’t I just look at my own community and be glad that they aren’t as ridiculous as the Hamodia crowd? That’s simple. The move to the right does not preclude something like this from taking over the entire RW community. You know which one. The one which provide Mechanchim to virtually every day school of every Hashkafa. And they are going to impart these values to our children. It almost doesn’t matter what Hashkafos we raise our children in, they will be subject to the indoctrination of these Mechanchim who will learn to “appreciate this new refinement in Tznius” and then instill them in our children.

Where is all this stuff coming from? Well in this particular instance it comes from Ger. They are known to have extreme Tznius Practices. And if I understand correctly the publishers of Hamodia are Ger Chasidim. So this attitude about how to deal with women whether in interpersonal relationships or in mass publications has now spread outside their circle to includethe not so extreme Feldheim publishers, and American …non Chasidic Rabbis in Monsrey, and my own Nephew, who though Charedi wouldn’t have ever thought to not publsish a Tznus picture of his mother and Bubbie whom he idolized.

I am telling you this “move to the right” is out of control.

Evolution

OK. It’s on The Jewish Press website. My article on evolution and the age of the universe is now available for all to enjoy... or not. There should be something for everyone in this article… both pro and con. Feel free to comment on it either way. I wouldn’t expect or want any less. Don’t expect any surprises though. You all know my views.

Seeking Truth and the Potential for Gadlus

Yesterday, in Hirhurim, Rabbi Gil Student posted a correspondence he had with Rav Daniel Eidensohn, the author of the Yad Yisroel and the Yad Moshe... (the two indices to the monumental works of two of the greatest Poskim of the last generation and the one before: Rav Moshe Feinstein’s Igros Moshe and The Chafetz Chaim’s Mishna Berurah.) The letter stated that in conversations he had with two of the leading rabbinic authorities of our day, Rabbi Shmuel Kaminetsky and Rav Yisroel Belsky, both assured him that believing in an ancient universe is a legitimate Torah viewpoint.

Finally! A little clarity from a member of the Agudah Moetzes. Rav Kaminetsky is apparently far more interested in Emes than he is in religious politics. But as Rav Kaminetsky conceded, most other "Gedolim" do not subscribe even to the possibility of an older universe. They have all jumped on Rav Elyashiv’s "ban" wagon which considers belief in an ancient universe to be K'fira. And some didn’t even bother knowing precisely what was in the ban. They signed on to it simply because Rav Elayshiv did. And since other members of the Moetzes have already clearly stated their agreement with the ban, there will never be a unified response from them on the issue of belief in an ancient universe.

Rabbi Aharon Feldman pointed out in his famous essay about why he supports Rav Elyashiv’s ban on Rabbi Slifkin’s books: “...the public issue most damaging to the honor of Torah and to its leaders in recent memory is what is known as the Slifkin affair.” And he goes on to blame him for it.

He is right about the issue but he is wrong about the cause. True... Kavod HaTorah and the reputation of its leaders have been tarnished. But to quote from Shakespeare’s Julius Caesar: "The fault, dear Brutus, is not in our stars, But in ourselves, that we are underlings."

It is in the refusal of lesser people to espouse their own beliefs when it contradicts the Gadol Hador that makes them lesser people. Instead of having the courage to disagree, they follow him blindly (as many of the banners said they did because of "who he is"). This attitude is what precludes them from the kind of Gadlus that existed but a single generation ago. That... and of course the attendant suspension any of their own rational thought on this issue.

Perhaps Rav Kaminetsky and Rav Belsky are the only ones who have any potential at all to restore Kavod HaTorah and to achieve greatness in the future... not because they permit me to believe as I do, but because they had the courage to disagree with Rav Elyashiv and espouse the truth as they understand it.

World Pride

There is an event scheduled for Jerusalem this coming August called WorldPride 2006." For those not familiar with it, it is the second international gay pride festival. An article on this event can be found in last Thursday’s Jerusalem Post Magazine.

I can think of no event more anathematic to the spirit of Yerushalayim Ir HaKodesh than an event like this one. The Torah calls such behavior an abomination….one worthy of a death penalty. For Jerusalem to host such an event turns everything holy on its head. And this is why they choose Jerusalem… and why the last one was held in the Vatican. The activists organizing this event are seeking to change morality as we know it. It cannot and must not be allowed.

It isn’t that I think homosexuals are evil people. Far from it. Many are fine upstanding people no different then the rest of us. There is even much evidence that their behavior is genetically induced. But even if it is environmentally induced, that does not necessarily make one with such tendencies evil. In fact I have much compassion for people with these kinds of problems. They live in a world that still considers them social outcasts, despite the best efforts of Hollywood and the Left to the contrary. They have urges which are difficult for them to control. But then again so do many heterosexuals. But for heterosexuals there is no real negative social stigma attached. And we have Hollywood to thank for that as well since they constantly aggrandize sexual promiscuity.

This is why many even good people support a gay pride event. They think that they are doing homosexuals a favor by normalizing them. And that is the purpose of the organizers of such events. They are agenda driven. They want the world to see homosexual behavior as normamative as heterosexual behavior. And it is why they push for “gay marriage” If they can get the world to accept gay marriage as holy matrimony… it will make the behavior holy too.

But they are wrong. Their behavior is not holy. And no matter where they have an event like this, it is still an abomination. Having it in Jerusalem does not make it any less so. It cannot therefore be allowed the appearance of the imprimatur that a Jerusalem venue would give it.

This is not to condemn those who for whatever reason have homosexual tendencies. They should be accepted into Orthodoxy without question. Just as anyone who has other forbidden tendencies is accepted. Judaism is not about tendencies. It is about behavior. We are rewarded and punished for behavior, not tendencies. To hold back love and compassion from a fellow human being just because his or her tendencies are repugnant to us is K’Neged the Torah.

If someone is predisposed to forbidden behavior and works mightily to overcome it, then nothing but respect is to be given to them. It is what they do with their lives that counts, not what turns them on. And even if someone succumbs to his or her Taavah, that doesn’t mean we automatically throw them out of the community either. We should treat them just like we do others who have succumbed to other forbidden temptations. It is not up to us to judge our fellow human beings. People who recognize they have sinned by committing homosexual acts and do Teshuva are no different then people who have sinned in other areas and do Teshuva.

I have been assured by mental health professionals that there are far more homosexual people in the Frum community than most people realize. Many are even married with children and lead quite normal lives. They have these tendencies but don’t act on them. In some cases they need the aid of a psychologist to help them. But they are all good people, living a holy life.

If it were up to me I would encourage all homosexuals to do the same. But for those who can’t they should be treated as equals… as long as they don’t flaunt their behavior publicly.

So why am I against a Gay Pride event in Jerusalem? Because that is not about succumbing to temptation. It is about normalizing abominations. Doing it in Jerusalem gives it an aura of religious acceptance. Nothing could be further from the truth. And it isn’t just Orthodox Jews who are against it. It is all three of the major faiths.

For Muslim clerics to unite with Rabbanim (along with priests) on this issue when they would just as soon see Jews dead… shows just how universal this abomination is considered.

And it isn’t like gay pride events are a subdued group of mistreated people protesting legitimate grievances. They usually bring out all the flamboyance and flaming seen all over the world when gay activists congregate. It is truly are a disgusting sight… parading around half naked and publicly flaunting their behavior.

This is what they want from us. It isn’t just about accepting gay behavior in the privacy of a bedroom. It is about shoving it down our throats and normalizing it. There can be no compassion for them any more than there can be compassion for the Mafia. And they have to be stopped.

But there is one caveat. Violence must be avoided. We had a little of that last year when zealots tried to take the law into their own hands and some people got stabbed. This is just as wrong. No one has the right to harm a fellow human being unless he is about to physically harm another. To kill a homosexual… even a flaming one… is to murder. And last time I checked, Shfichas Damim was still Assur.

But short of violence anything and everything should be done to prevent this from happening in our holy city. If there is anything that can unite all of Orthodoxy...left to right... it is this.

Fighting for Our Children: A Small but Important Step

I have been informed of some pending legislation in New York State that apparently will be of great benefit to the Torah world in New York if it is passed. Although it is not my intention to turn my blog into a “bulletin board” for community events, I think this particular issue warrants an exception especially in light of recent events. So, even though I do not live in New York, I am happy to disseminate this information on my blog. For details, see Sephardi Lady’s blog

Contradicting a Gadol in Matters of Kfira

In the comments section of my last post a commentator wrote about what I believe to be the true fallout of the ban on Rabbi Slifkin’s books. He stated that his whole problem with all that has happened is the idea that a young earth theory has become the only valid position for a Frum person to hold.

This is what upsets me the most about this whole affair. The commentator also stated he has no problem with those who prefer to believe in a young earth. This is exactly how I feel. But to say that here-to-fore positions of an aged universe are now Kfira... is not only upsetting to me… it is upsetting to many people in the Charedi world too.

When this story first broke, I spoke with many Klei Kodesh affiliated with many differing Charedi institutions including Roshei Kollel, Roshei Yeshiva, people in Kiruv. They were completely shaken up by this ban! Of course most of them wouldn't dare contradict Rav Elyashiv, a man many consider the Gadol HaDor... but it was clear that thy were somewhat surprised by it and though accepted by them, it was not eagerly accepted.

But there were some who were nearly militant in their acceptance.

A relatively famous Kiruv worker, Rabbi Dovid Orlofsky who used to incorporate aged universe theories into his Kiruv work "got on his hands and knees" to beg Mechila for it, after finding out that Rav Elayshiv (or people speaking in his name) said such theories were Kfira.

In addressing the ban on Rabbi Slifkin’s books, Rav Aharon Feldman conceded that “the author is a fully observant chareidi Torah Jew whose intent was clearly leshem shomayim (for the sake of Heaven), to defend the honor of the Torah.” And until the ban had not been critical of him. In fact, at first it looked like he was going to defend Rabbi Slifkin. But after a brief trip to Israel to get clarity from Rav Elyashiv, he seemed to completely reverse himself to conform to the views of the banners.

There were of course those who predictably couldn’t wait to endorse the ban. Rav Moshe Sternbuch not only jumped on the “ban” wagon but went to some length explaining why it is Kefira, even though there are many Rishonim and Achronim who backed such beliefs up.

One thing I have noticed is that there are many respected Rabbanim, one of them on the Agudah Moetzes who at least initially did not jump on the “ban” wagon. Even though some of them did later, it was for reasons other than expressed by the banners. It was not because the views in Rabbi Slifkin’s book were heretical. I’m not going to get into here about whether their reasons for joining the ban were legitimate or not or why they joined at all after first resisting. But it clearly shows me that these Rabbinic leaders did not think the views contained in Rabbi Slifkin’s book are heretical.

And of course there are those like Rav Chaim Malinowitz, general editor of the Artscroll Gemmaros who still publicly support Rabbi Slifkin and the views contained in his books.

The most enlightening response to me came from a respected Rebbe in a respected Yeshiva, who wishes to remain anonymous. Ordinarily, such anonymity would bother me, especially considering the stakes. But since he is in Chinuch, it could severely affect his livelihood. He clearly blamed the ban on Rav Elyashiv’s lack any scientific knowledge at all. Rav Elyashiv lives outside that world. He does not study it and never has.

Now this has been said by many people about Rav Elyashiv... usually in very irreverent tones... mostly by anonymous bloggers. But to my knowledge it has never been said by a respected member of the Charedei world. Such talk coming from a Rebbe in a Yeshiva would surely have very great negative repercussions for this individual. But I still salute him for his honesty.

But his honest views and 25 cents won’t get you more than an hour on a city of Chicago parking meter, if it isn't made public. The fact happens to be that the Charedi world has yet to address this issue head on. If one believes as this Yeshiva Rebbe does, it would take unimaginable courage to stand up and say so publicly. It is certainly a lot easier for those who agree with Rav Elyashiv to publicly back his views.

I am told that Telzer Roshe HaYeshiva, Rabbi Chaim D. Keller will be addressing this topic in an upcoming Jewish Observer. I don’t know which side of this issue he is on but I hope it will once and for all provide clarity on this issue.

We’ll see.

Chareidi Shema Yisrael

The Internet Yated is at it again. In an op-ed entitled Age of the Universe , R' Dovid Kornreich has chosen to scoff at anything that even remotely resembles rational assessment of scientific data. But it isn’t surprising... considering that the Yated is the very medium that first trumpeted the ban on Rabbi Slifkin’s work. In that article, one or two of the Rabbinic figures explained something to the effect that the books contained statements that the world was millions of years old… and that books containing these kinds of thoughts should not be read and certainly not believed.

The standard Charedi view of creation is upheld in this article: The universe was created about six thousand years ago. Rabbi Kornreich says that all evidence pointing to an older universe is due to the fact that during the six days of creation, nature was different and not measurable with natural means. We cannot rely on measurements of nature today to measure what happened during the six days of creation.

But in essence that is almost the same as saying that the six days of creation may not have existed in nature as 24-hour periods. Since nature was different, one could argue that time was different and as such one creation day could equal 3 billion years. But I’m sure that Rabbi Kornreich would not concede that as that would undermine his entire hypothesis.

I have always maintained that to ignore science is to put blinders to reality on. One simply cannot do that and remain intellectually honest. The rational thinker that is a scientist, even a Frum Scientist, must conclude that the evidence of an aged universe is so compelling that it cannot simply be whisked away with the wave of a hand.

It is in that spirit that I always choose to cite Rabbi Aryeh Kaplan. He was an accepted expert in both the world of Torah and science. He clearly believed in a universe that was 15 billion years old. And he spelled it out in a famous paper presented at a meeting of Orthodox Jewish scientists in the seventies.

Does Rabbi Kaplan answer all the perplexing problems posed by science? No, but he goes a long way to show that science is indeed compatible with Torah. No one in the Charedi community with any real standing has addressed Rabbi Kaplan’s paper directly and the views contained there-in.

It isn’t so much that they can refute it. Maybe they can and maybe they can’t. But the fact is that his views clearly contradict the reasons the original banners gave for banning Rabbi Slifkin’s books. It’s “put up or shut-up” time for those who think the way Rabbi Kornreich does. Either they acknowledge that Rabbi Kaplan's views falls well within parameters of a legitimate Torah Haskafa... or they do to him what they did to Rabbi Slifkin and ban his famous paper on the age of the universe and label Rabbis Kaplan's views Kfira.

Look for my response to this op-ed in next week's Jewish Press.

Lavish Bar Mitzvahs

As strong as I feel about not making wedding Takanos, so too am I against making Takanos against lavish Bar or Bat Mitzvah parties. But it is only the Takana I am against. I agree in principle that lavish parties for 12 and 13 year olds are wrong. Not because I want to deny the wealthy from enjoying their money. Far from it. But because of the values such parties reflect. There is a difference between weddings and Bar and Bat Mitzvahs.

Wedding are a time for “pulling out al the stops”. They are a celebration between two families and their friends. It is the joining in holy matrimony two chidren beginning a new life togther. It literally celebrates the beginning of an entirely new world, a pre-curser for fulfilling the Mitzvah of Pru Urvu and being Boneh a Bayis Neman B’Yisroel. And considering the rampant rate of divorce even in our own community, the young couple deserves to have as much encouragement as the can get. The importance of Simchas hasan V’Kallah can not be understated. It is a huge Mitzvah. “Keitzad M’Raglin Lifnei HaKalla” the Gemarah asks. But it does not ask “Keitzad M’Raglin Lifnei HaBar Mitzvah Bachur”.

Now, a Bar Mitzvah Bachur who celebrates his entry into the world of mandatory Mitzvah observance and the father who makes the Bracha “Baruch ShePatrani” is worthy of some celebration. But this 13 year old (and 12 year old in the case of a girl) has in no way earned a lavish party. It is in fact a big joke.

Bar and Bat Mitzvahs do not warrant huge catered affairs. The right approach is the tradition handed down by our parents and grandparents:

The Bar Mitzvah Bachur received an Aliyah on Shabbos in Shul and perhaps Maftir. Sometimes he did Kriyas HaTorah, if he really expressed a desire to do it. Then there was a nice Kiddush (some shnapps, herring and Kichel)in Shul after Davening... and that was it.

Bat Mitvzah girls had absolutely nothing marking the day, certainly not in public. It was treated as just another day… perhaps because of "Kavodah Bas Melech P'nimah" and “Tzne Halaches”.

I recall Rabbi Chaim P. Sheinberg stating (in answer to a question in a public appearance in Chicago a few years ago) that it is Assur to make Bat Mitzvahs for girls and that the only thing acceptable was a little party in class for her classmates if she so desired. He felt Bat Mitzvah parties for girls imitated Conservative and Reform modalities.

I do understand that conditions are a bit different today. We have more discretionary income and we tend to celebrate lifecycle events more frequently. But that does not mean we have to go overboard and make a $50,000 (or more) birthday party for a twelve year old girl or 13 year old boy. Although there are legitimate exceptions the standard should be nothing greater than a large sit down Cholent Kiddush after Davening. I can even understand a Shabbos lunch in the Shul’s dining hall for the extended family and the closest of friends as long as the entire family of each is invited… especially when out of town friends and family come in for the Simcha. Anything beyond that is wasteful and gives lie to the often real intention of the host parents: They just want to make a big party and this is a convenient excuse to do it. Often it is just a way of telling the world "Look... I've made it!" or "Look how successful I am!" It is a kind of "showing off" that goes against spirit of Tzneh Haleches and against the grain of the pleasant ways and peaceful paths of the Torah.

Amongst peer groups of similar incomes it becomes a contest of who can throw a bigger or better party. The boy or girl becomes a prop... an excuse for the party, although there is a lot of denial about it. This of course breeds all the "wannabes" who do not have the means for such parties yet go to all lengths to show off that they TOO have "money". Some “beg, borrow and steal” just so they too can make “a statement”. I know of one such individual, thought to be a Gvir in the community, who made a huge party and then never paid any of his bills... claiming he had no money!

Es Chatoei Ani Mazkir HaYom. I, too, had a relatively large BM party for my son back in 1983. It wasn’t a $50,000 affair but it was way too big. It was a catered affair for about 200 people with a six piece band... a Melave Malka. But it was too big. I fell victim to the very thing I now protest... the keeping up with the Cohens. I now have the benefit of time and therefore a bit more wisdom one gains over it. Had I to do it over again I would have a big Cholent Kiddush on Shabbos in
Shul and that’s it.

Wedding Takanos: Living within One’s Means

A few years ago after seeing the ever increasing excesses at many Orthodox weddings, several leading rabbinic figures came out with a set of Takanos, guidelines for weddings to prevent such excesses. These rabbis, many of whom are on the Agudah Moetzes, decided enough was enough. Too much money was being wasted by people who couldn’t afford it. I do not recall all the specifics of those guidelines but suffice it to say that the amount of money allowed to be sent on these weddings would be very minimal. While their intentions were good, as I’m sure they always are, Takanos are not the way to go.

I agree that there are huge amounts of money spent by some people. But why should that necessarily be a problem, if they can afford it? If there is a wealthy individual who enjoys throwing lavish parties for his friends, what better way to do it than in the form of a wedding... involving a Seudas Mitzvah? Could the money be better spent towards community welfare? Sure it could. But one can say that about any extravagant expenditure by a wealthy person. Why should the wealthy be denied the fruits of their labor… the fruits of their success? Are we a people who believe in redistribution of wealth? Are we socialists, or communists?

Of course not. The Gemarah is replete with stories of wealthy Taanoim and Amoraim. No one took their money away from them to redistribute it. And no one should do that to the wealthy of our own day. People have a right to enjoy their wealth in any way they choose. And Simchas Chasan V’Kalla is an appropriate way to do it.

I often hear people say that if only the X amount of dollars spent on a wedding went to… say… day schools. It would solve many a budget problem: Teachers would be able to get paid on time, many past due bills to patient vendors could finally be paid. All true. But who says that it should be the sole burden of the wealthy? Is a wealthy individual required to deplete all or most of his wealth on this problem …which wouldn’t solve all the problems anyway? And certainly it wouldn’t solve next year’s budgetary problems. Why should they be obligated to lower their standard of living?

Not only don’t they have to lower their standard of living. But Halacha requires a level of Tzedaka be given to a poor man who was formerly wealthy to restore him to that standard.

The vast majority of wealthy people give huge amounts of Tzedaka. Should they now be punished for it by denying them their choices in how to spend their money?

Let’s us look at the real problem: social pressure to keep up with the Joneses (or the Cohens). The problem that I think the rabbinic Takanos was mostly trying to address is that of many people with modest incomes spending more money than they can afford just to put on a show… to show that they too… can afford a nice big wedding with all the accoutrements. To that end many such people will borrow the huge sums of money needed to have such parties. They might even take out second mortgages on their homes… or sell life insurance policies, or dig into their life savings… all for one very big and very fleeting night! In short they would mortgage their lives away just to show they too can have a wedding like the Cohens did. Multiply this by the number of children one has to marry off and one can easily see where this is going to end up. Such parents are going to end up penniless and in debt.

Now, I’m sure not every middle class family will mortgage his future away to that extreme (although there are plenty who have and plenty who will. But to any extent that one spends beyond his means it is both wrong and stupid. True, the Takanos could help eliminate that problem. If everyone would follow the guidelines, no one would be able to spend exorbitant sums of money on weddings. The motivation to keep up with the Cohens will be eliminated: No one can do it, not even the Cohens.

But it is unfair to the wealthy who CAN afford it. And is not even fair to a middle income family. For example, if I recall correctly, one of the Takanos was to not have more than a 5 piece band. Well, what if a parent spends wisely limits his expenditures on everything else but loves music and wants to spend a few extra dollars on a bigger band? Why should he be denied this pleasure, especially if it adds to the Simcha?

And what about the vendors? In many cases the vendors are members of the Torah community and make their Parnasos from the Simcha industry. Frum musicians need work too. So does the Frum florist or the Frum party planner, the Frum invitations seller, or caterer. Why should they be denied the financial benefit of a wealthy person who wants to spend their money for these servies?

Wedding Takanos though well intended are laden with problems as currently constructed. The more correct path would be to educate the masses to stop chasing down the Cohens... to stop trying to show off wealth they do not have. Unfortunately, there are far too many people need to be taught to live within their means. In this sense I might agree with the Taknaos. I would support implementing a Takana against borrowing money to go beyond these guidelines. But I do not support a Takkana that limits how a wealthy person spends his money.

It is my understanding that wealthy people still have big expensive weddings. The Rabbanim who mandated these Takanos said that they would not attend weddings where these guildlines are violated But I hear that there have been "sightings" at the weddings of weathier Baalei Battim.

I guess those Rabbanim don’t think that much of their own Takanos either.

The Underground guide to Shiddach Dating

From a website called "humor/shidduch" I present the following. I have no idea who this is. But I found it in my files. So, I apologize to the author. But it is very apropos of my last post and very funny so here it is:


The Underground guide to Shiddach Dating


THE MEN

I. The Slick New Yorker

Yeshivos: Mir, Toras Moshe, Bais Yisroel, Mercaz HaTorah, Ner Moshe

Appearance: Shows up in $300.00 Italian designer suit, high-gloss shoeshine, black hat with requisite 2 1/4 inch brim and pearl stickpin at 35 degree angle, exposing hi-vogue hair which was razor cut at Marcel's the previous day. May sport very short beard, but usually clean cut; smells of aftershave.

Background: Father went to Torah VaDaas, then made fortune in diamonds or wholesale merchandising. Slick went to Torah VaDaas, Mir, or Chaim Berlin high schools (maybe Denver if he was wild, or Adelphia if he was really wild.) Summers spent bumming around The Mountains, or working in kitchen at Magen Av if his father was heavily on his case. Will go to yeshiva a few years, then live in New York and work for father.

On Date: First thing Slick will say is, 'Mind if I smoke?' That is if he is very polite. If not, will just assume date does not mind, or won't care whether she minds. Will talk about lousy conditions of dorm and food at his yeshiva (he usually eats out anyway), his last summer's fun at Woodbourne, the Viennese table at his sister's wedding. Loves to play 'Jewish Geography', and will undoubtedly figure out at least a dozen people he and date both know. Refers to anyone from outside Flatbush and Boro Park as 'out of towners', considers them hicks.

II. The Frummy

Yeshivos: Mir, Brisk, Toras Moshe, Lakewood, Ohr Somayach, Meshach Chochmah, Torah Or

Appearance: Wears expensive single breasted suit on dates, with pants ending in straight hem, one inch above shoes (unfortunately, he will spend the rest of his life wearing mismatched pieces of brown and blue pinstriped suits together.) Polyester tie with spot where someone's cigarette melted it. Black hat, 2" brim, no pin, no feather, no angle. Scraggly beard which tends to collect food particles; behind the ear payos; wire-rim, thick glasses.

Background: Most likely to have attended some frum high school (Torah Temimah, Mir, etc.), but may have gone to regular day school or even public high school, and 'blacked out' in yeshiva afterwards. Considers college to be the main instrument of the sitra achra; plans on at least 10 years in kollel. Tendency to be somewhat neurotic.

On Date: Gets up immediately after arrival in restaurant or lounge to check who mashgiach is. Then, excuses himself again to daven ma'ariv (lots of kavannah here, so give him 20 minutes). Agonizes over banana split, trying to figure out which bracha should go first. Doesn't really know what to talk to girls about (though he's read 'Made in Heaven', 'The Jewish Way in Love and Marriage', and 'The Kettle, the River and the Bird' at least twice each), so talks about current sugya in Baba Basra, assuming girl will be as fascinated as he is.

III. The All American

Yeshivos:Chofetz Chaim, Aish HaTorah, Machon Shlomo, Keser Torah

Appearance: Nice, beautifully pressed suit. Hat with standard brim, sometimes black but often (yes!) gray or brown, worn at jaunty angle, with full feather (will always dress like this), May be clean-shaven with 1960's style sideburns, or wear a yekke beard which looks like it was trimmed by computer. Rosy cheeks; big smile.
Background: Went to Sha'arei Torah, Baltimore, or Chofetz Chaim (any branch except L.A.); or perhaps NEAT or one of the better day schools. Has been at Magen Av every summer for the last 10 years, most recently as counsellor or learning rebbe. Has (will have if he's under 22) degree in computers from some gut college (e.g. Touro, Rockland, maybe Brooklyn), but hopes to go into chinuch.
On Date: Opens doors and pulls out chairs for her like he's performing on an Emily Post home video. Tells tasteful but humorless jokes, long stories about his Rosh Yeshiva, in effort to keep date entertained. Spends half an hour reading the menu and kiairing about the relative advantages of each item, before choosing a Coke ("two cubes, please...shaken, not stirred.") Delivers d'var Torah at end of meal in best pulpit style. Can't hold himself back from singing along with Dveykus III record playing in Gal-Paz when they walk by.

IV. The Zionist

Yeshivos: Kerem B'Yavneh, Sha'alvim, Gush, Bet El, Kiryat Arba, Machon Meir, Brovender's

Appearance: Will invariably show up for date in sandals with no socks, dark blue pants, white short-sleeve shirt (Sears), and a large crocheted kippah with his name on it sifting on the side of his head. Usually sports mustache, though any facial hair pattern possible except for the Elvis 'burns. In coldest winter will put on dubon and paratrooper boots he lifted from his roommate.

Background: High school education courtesy of MTA, Toronto, Valley Torah, Ramaz, or any standard modern orthodox yeshiva. Father is president of modern orthodox shul in Cleveland or someplace. Has belonged to shul's B'nai Akiva chapter since he was eight (no, don't tell him that B.A. joke-he's heard it), acted as Rosh Snif for past several years. Went to Y.U., or possibly some high brow liberal arts school in the East, where he was active in AIPAC and Hillel.

On Date: Will order orange juice, spend an hour explaining the difference between Kach and Gush Emunim; speaks loudly to the waitress in poor Hebrew, with an adopted accent which is halfway between Boris Karloff and Puerto Rican. Explains plans to return to America for an MBA, '... so I can be more useful in the Israeli economy' (Will actually go back, get MBA, and stay in America, usually).

V. The Nature Boy

Yeshivos:Aish HaTorah, Brovender's, Machon Shlomo, Shappell's

Appearance:Feels casual approach on dates is best, so comes in what he wears every day-baggy cords, occasins, Shetland sweater over button-down. If he's feeling formal, may throw on crumpled Harris Tweed jacket. Hair always looks windblown. Usually wears medium length, well trimmed beard for that rustic, down home Jewish look. Large kippah-may be black velvet, leather, knit, or Yemenite.

Background: Two types -

A. Father is a modern orthodox rabbi out West or in New England. Nature boy went through normal day-school education, Camp Moshava summers. After high school, tried Telshe or Chaim Berlin, hated it, came to Jerusalem for soul experience.
B. From modern family in Southern California or some funky place. Went to public high school or progressive day school (e.g. Maimonides). Came to Israel after Ivy League education; lived off campus in 'bayit" Jewish cooperative home with flower children.

THE GIRL

I. The Intellectual

Appearance: Hair either short or pulled back and braided. Large secretary glasses. Lots of green, gray, burgundy wool clothing-tartan plaid shirts, fair-isle sweaters or cardigans, Burberry trench in cold weather. Medium heels, Coach bag.
Background: Attended day school, Bais Ya'akov, or non-denominational private school (maybe public high school, if she's from Beverly Hills or Bexley), but qualified out by testing when she was 16 and attended City College for two years. Finished degree in English literature, European History, or some other esoteric discipline in small liberal arts school (e.g. Sarah Lawrence, Reed), before coming to Israel. Has perfect grammatical command of Hebrew language, including noun declensions and irregular verbs, but horrible accent.

On Date: Will always have a suggestion of what to do if gentleman runs out of ideas. Knows way around Jerusalem thoroughly, from yeshiva's hesed program. Orders carrot juice and oatmeal cake. Converses about different approaches of various ba'alei Tosafos, repeating themes in Koheles, and her current interest in rare manuscripts of Rambam's Iggeret Tayman; date is usually left in complete confusion, allowing her the floor for most of the evening.

II. The JAP

Yeshivos: Can be found in almost any seminary

Appearance: Seems to wear Shabbos clothes all week. Heavy makeup, perfume. Dress will be designer, dry clean only, on which somebody will almost certainly spill something during course of date. Serious high heels. Hair teased so carefully it appears to miraculously defy gravity.

Background: JAP may or may not be from New York, but has always perfected that Boro Park accent. If she is from New York, will have gone to Prospect Park, Bais Ya'akov or similar schools. If from 'out of town' (Baltimore, Atlanta, L.A.), will have gone to Bais Ya'akov only, where she picked up Brooklyn accent from teachers. College is out. The very few who aren't married by the end of second year seminary (Rachmana chas!) will get an apartment in Flatbush and teach until they can correct the situation.

On Date: Walks slowly, carrying herself like the Queen Mary. Heels sound like rifle shots on pavement of Rehov Shlomzion HaMalka. Refuses to walk on wet grass in Liberty Bell Park. Lingers by store windows, commenting on ugliness of clothes displayed. Inside, talks about clothes, New York. The JAP is not necessarily shallow or dumb - that's just what happens to interest her. Always runs into people she knows and after berating acquaintances from afar, will give them a big hug and keep date waiting 1/2 hour while talking.

III. The NCSYer

Yeshivos:Sharfman's, EYHH"T, Michlala, B'nos Chayil, Neve

Appearance: Lots of knits-usually sweater with brightly colored horizontal stripes or geometric pattern over long knit skirt. Hair worn long, constantly being brushed away from eyes so as to punctuate statements with more visible facial _expression. Glazed, entranced look in eyes may be carried over from NCSY, or instilled by seminary. Background: Standard day school or public school. Often from obscure localities like Nome, Alaska or Chicago, Illinois. Very likely to have been (though not necessarily) an actual, heavy duty NCSYer; often a regional president or national officer. Whether or not from NCSY, was certainly a happy bopper in high school, participated in sports, yearbook committee and such like. Has become intense and philosophical in yeshiva.

On Date: Speaks about her rebbeim with liberal use of superlatives like "incredible", 'amazing', 'unbelievable'. Also to be found in almost any given sentence are the words 'mamesh' and 'HaShem'. Will talk about how wonderful Jerusalem is, how holy all the people walking around seem to be (a bit of misguided sincerity based on the assumption that everyone who dresses like her teachers is also an exemplary personality underneath). Score points by mentioning to her that you listen to 'The Marvelous Middos Machine'.

IV. The Practical Homemaker

Yeshivos: Machon Devorah, Sarah Schneur, Bais Ya'akov, Machon Rivkin

Appearance: Hair pulled back severely from face, or cut short. Often looks like a shaitel even though it's her own. Wire frame glasses. Little or no makeup; no perfume. Clothes appear to be (and probably are) fourth generation hand-me-downs, carefully rehemmed and pressed. Will never buy new clothes, but rather make them herself or revamp old closet potatoes.
Background: Went to Sarah Schneur, Bais Ya'akov, Prospect Park or Bais Rivkah high school. Got high marks, but never participated in extracurricular activities or went on field trips. Instead, went home to play Parchesi with grandmother and bake chocolate chip cookies. Spent last summer volunteering in hospital pediatric ward and taking correspondence course on practical home plumbing and repairs.

On Date: Gets right down to business; asks what he plans to do for parnassah, how many kids he wants to have, where he expects to live-all on first date. Not to be unfair, lays down her own credentials at same time; the mercantile approach. Makes disapproving clucking noises over glasses if she does not approve of his answers, or if he spills soup on his tie. May check references with his Rosh.


THE SHADCHANIM

I) Aunt Raizel - Elderly aunt, lives in Rechavia. Always trying to fix you up with best friend's neighbor's third cousin. Sole criterion for compatibility is similar age (give or take a dozen years).

II) The RoshYeshiva - Head of women's seminary; always expects his (or her) girls to marry Mir kollel-bound types, and always profoundly shocked when they don't. Makes men sweat heavily during interview and feel they don't deserve the privilege of his time. Fixes girls up with most boring men in city.

III) The "Professional' - Usually a lady with a large family; may also teach in seminary. Girls make Beelines around her in shul and at school. Men come to be interviewed-"How tall are you? What do your parents do? What do you have to offer a young lady?" Will fix you up once (twice if you really bug her), and assumes if it fails it's your own fault, because the match was perfect 'on paper'.
IV) The Kollel Couple - Married for a relatively short time, so still keen on shidduchim. Fix up women from her old seminary with men who learn in yeshiva where his kollel meets. Are usually so excited about match that they call you at midnight to find out how it went. Don't knock it though-they have a high success rate.


GLOSSARY OF THE SHADCHANIC LANGUAGE

*wonderful middos = looks like s/he has been in a head-on with a freight train.
*nice looking = ugly
*attractive = does not require a bag over his/her head to be seen with in public.
*well groomed = has showered within the Last week
*best boy in the yeshiva = managed to get in, barely, with assistance of his uncle, the Rosh.
*from a good family = parents are on speaking terms and no immediate relatives in jail.
*very intelligent = very boring
*plans to go into hinuch = hasn't figured out what to do with himself yet.
*tall(man) = 5 7 " to 7'1
*short(man) = 4'1 " to 5'
*tall(woman) = Amazon
*short(woman) = sub-midget
*a bit shy = under psychiatric care for neurosis
*quiet = had a frontal lobotomy

MOST COMMON OUTCOMES

Slick New Yorker and JAP get married, live in Flatbush, vacation in Florida and raise obnoxious children. Spend the rest of their lives boring friends with stories of the "wild' times in Israel.

Frummy guy marries practical homemaker. They settle down in Mattersdorf, where she runs a laundry service and he learns in kollel for the next 30 years. Their eleven kids blend perfectly into Jerusalem haredi society, vote Degel.

The intellectual girl marries a nature boy or a Zionist. They live in Chicago, where he turns into a square insurance salesman and she works on her Ph.D. They assuage guilt feelings by sending large checks to JNF and their former yeshivos, and by vacationing in Israel every other year.

The All-American guy marries an NCSY'er, and they live in Har Nof or Ramot for the next four years while he is in kollel. They then move to Buzzard's Beak, Louisiana to help start a yeshiva, but disillusionment brings them back to Jerusalem. He lands a job teaching at Ma'arava.

Note: These outcomes are by no means universal. The combinations quite often turn out in unexpected ways (e.g. practical homemaker girl with nature boy; JAP with Zionist), but those mentioned are typical.

Extortion

SephardiLady posted in her blog Orthonomics yesterday about the Issur of Lo Sachmod and the descriptive example the Chafetz Chaim gives of it. It is quite illuminating to me that his icon of Judaism, the man who literally wrote the book that is so widely accepted as Halacha Basra… the final word in Jewish law… wrote such words well before American Orthodoxy as we know it today even existed. And yet in the Charedi world it seems to be honored so much in the breach. Lo Sachmod!

And it didn’t start yesterday. This is a decades old phenomenon that seems to have arisen right along with the success of the Yeshiva system as we know it today. And Shadchanim seem to know this system well as they seem to always make it “part of the deal” before an engagement is consummated.

I didn’t know how serious an issue this was until a few years ago. I was in Detroit at the wedding of the daughter of an old friend of mine… someone I had gone to elementary school with there. As is almost always the case when I visit Detroit, I ran into an old classmate that I haven’t seen since childhood. He was sitting right
ext to me at the Chupah. After the usual “Wow, I haven’t seen you since forever” banter… he proceeded to tell me a horror story.

This fellow was in Chinuch, a Rebbe in the very same day school we both attended as children there... and firmly implanted in the Charedi world. He told me that when it came time for a Shiddach for his daughter, he approached a well respected Shadchan who then was able to set up his daughter for a date. They went out a few times and
they really hit it off. It looked like an engagement was imminent. That’s when he got "the call".

The Shadchan told him that this boy is a diamond… and has a real prospect for Gadlus. As such he deserved to be supported to the tune of about a thousand dollars a month for a period of two years. Being on the lower end of the income spectrum this Rebbe had no extra cash of that kind. He had no ability and therefore no intention of doing
anything like this. The Shadchan gave him an ultimatum. Come up with the money or the Shiddach is off. Well, the daughter was a bit too far along the Shiddach path. His daughter “fell in love” (in the Charedi sense) with this fellow and did not want to lose him. The tears started flowing. This Rebbe loved his daughter and decided that he would find a way to come up with the money. He ended up selling his life insurance policy. It gave enough money to support his future son in law for 2 years at half the asked for amount, $500.00 per month. The young man agreed and they lived happily ever after. But at a very steep price.

This dedicated Mechanech who chose to live an austere lifestyle so that he could fulfill his Tafkid teaching Torah to young children, had to give up his financial security at retirement, and… should something have happened to him… protection for his family. And he had 6 more daughters to marry off with one about ready to go.

It was a bitter experience for him. But it seems to be the norm in right wing circles. And it is nothing short of extortion. The system extorts. And the Shadchan picks the most critical point of a relationship to spring the extortion! Haven’t these young Bnei Torah learned the Aseres HaDibros? Do they really need to extort money from their in-laws to stay in the Torah learning? Is this the Darkei Noam
of the Torah? Yet this seems to be standard operating procedure in right wing circles. And many of the Shadchanim are Rebbeim... or Roshei Yeshiva... or Mashgichim... at the finest Yeshivos in the world.

I have even heard that these Shadchanim actually encourge the better students and go around telling these “diamonds” that they shouldn’t settle for anything less than dollar amounts commensurate with certain a standard of living.

Shiduchim are hard enough to make. The people we honor the most, our Mechnchim and Klei Kodesh pay a high price for their dedication to Torah by living a modest life style… and this is how they are treated?!

The whole thing makes me sick!

As Good as it Gets

In commentary to my last post the subject of my son, HaRav Meyer Maryles, came up. I mentioned in the context of Chinuch that my son had been given options and that in part because of that he has been able to achieve greatness in Torah learning. Now many people might accuse me of bias in the shameless way I talk about my son. And they might be right. Perhaps I am a bit shameless and perhaps I do sound like a doting father bragging about his son’s accomplishments. In fact I am bragging about him.

:)

But I speak the truth. This is about as good a time as any to tell his story.

My son is a unique individual. He currently is on the faculty of Yeshivas Mir as a Shoel U’Meshiv in the new Beis HaMedrash which houses 3 to 4 hundred Bachurim. His schedule allows him to learn all of morning Seder. In the afternoons he and a fellow Avreich are in charge of those Bachurim. He has also written and published a Sefer on Taharas HaMishpacha that has been very well received. Over 750 copies being distributed in Israel and in the US. He is the Rosh Kollel at a night Kollel (in its third year, I believe) in Ramat Bet Shemesh at the Gra’s Shul. He also gives a Gemarah Shiur in English to Baalei Battim every Motzoei Shabbos.

Many people have asked me why my son has become Charedi and rebelled from the Centrist Hashkafa that he was raised. The fact that he learned full time in Yeshivas Mir for over twelve years certainly seems to testify to that fact. But it is not so ...at least not entirely. My son's Hashkafos are not that different from mine. True he is Charedi. But he and I share much the same views on Judaism. We differ slightly in some of the obvious areas of dispute between Charedim and Centrists but our views and attitudes are not really that dissimilar.

I have encouraged him in his present path ever since I became aware of that uniqueness. He has that rare quality of being quite brilliant and having tremendous Hasmada. He "lives" to "know". The result is that he does! He is a Baki in just about every Mesechta that he has ever learned: Gemmarah, Rashi, Tosphos, Rishoinm, and many Achronim. I do not exaggerate. If you ever meet my son and you tell him the Mesechta you are learning and Daf you are on he can probably tell you what the Sugya is about. And who holds which Shitta.

Brilliance and Hasmada. It is rare to find both in most people. Usually they are bright but do not necessarily have the stamina to sit and learn for hours on end. Or maybe they have the stamina but are not quite on the intellectual level to succeed at the lofty levels expected of Gedolei Torah. In some cases where an individual has both qualities, the opportunities are limited by Parnassa concerns or by family situations that do not allow for full time learning for more than a few years. In still other cases where both qualities exist, there might be other material considerations such as living a certain minimal standard of life that requires one leave full time Torah study and work. There are many circumstances that prevent an individual for achieving greatness in Torah, most having to do with either the lack of requisite genius or lack of requisite Hasmadah... but additionally may include any number of factors.

Those brilliant students who look for rich father-in-laws so that they can continue learning do not have what it takes to become Gedolim, IMO. They are interested in the Gashmius side too much. I don't care if they are brilliant and are learning with tremendous diligence for hours at a time. They still require a certain level of comfort in order to do that without which might be discouraged from continuing in this path.

My son did not look for a rich father in law. He looked far a Bas Talmid Chacham. He was set up with a very nice young lady when he was dating whose father was a very successful physician, a neuro-surgeon, who wanted a son-in-law that he could support. He went out with her but that potential support did not on any way influence his choice. He ended up marrying the daughter of a well known Mechanech who now has one of the most successful seminaries in Israel. What he was looking for (aside from the obvious compatibility factors) was a woman who would support his learning goals unconditionally without any consideration for material goals. That’s what he got in her.

My son has absolutely no material goals what-so-ever. His only material considerations are to provide for the well being of his family... a roof over their head, food on the table, clothes on their backs. He has no car and buys only furniture that he needs. And he has continued gratitude to his wife for allowing him to continue learning full time in Yeshivas Mir at age 35.

His daily schedule begins with a 6:00AM Shachris in RBS, and ends after the 11:00PM Maariv. He does this every day without fail and he is fully supported by his wife.

Their income is primarily from his wife's position at her father's seminary, his own contributions to that seminary (he writes Halacha tests and grades them) and his paycheck from Mir and the night Kollel.

My son did not "rebel". He simply followed his natural inclination which is the very basis of my view on how Jewish education should be implemented. He was given every opportunity to choose any life he wanted. He was given the opportunity to attend Northwestern University on an Academic scholarship. He turned it down so that he could spend his days learning in the HTC Beis HaMedrash. He opted instead to get his BA at a small college, Northeastern Illinois University. He graduated 4.0 and took his LSAT just in case he couldn't "make it" in learning. He did all this voluntarily.

That he is now very Charedi in lifestyle is simply a natural evolution of where he has been and who he has associated with for the last thirteen years in the Mir environment. It is also a function of his own evolution in how he sees the world. He not only learns Gemmarah and Halacha but Mussar as well. He is a "Work in Progress" constantly refining himself and overcoming some of his natural tendencies (he is somewhat of a Kanoi). He has no patience for Battalah of any kind nor does he ever listen to or repeat anything that could be considered Lashon Hara. He does not waste a minute! He is well respected and even admired by his peers... all members of the community including the non-Charedi ones... his Roshei Yeshiva as well as community Rabbanim in RBS.

When it came time to build the Eruv HaMehudar in RBS, the Rabbanim in RBS chose him to do it. And he did. I believe that he has only scratched the surface of his ultimate potential.

To say the least, I am obviously very proud. And my Bracha to everyone in Klal Yisroel is to have children who find and succeed in their Tafkid in life... the way my son has in his.

Daas Torah

There has been quite a discussion on Areivim about a poster’s question with respect to his son’s education. The question involved the issue of asking a Shailas Chacham. I don’t remember the exact details but I will try and reconstruct the scenario. This poster’s son had been learning in a Charedi Yeshiva. But he had expressed strong interest in studies outside of what is traditionally studied in those kinds of Yeshivas. The boy’s parents decided that it would best serve his interests if he were to transfer to Machon Lev, which if I understand correctly is a Frum institution that has a scientific and technical track of study as well as a Beis HaMedrash program. The boy was doing quite well there. But his former Mashgiach has been trying to persuade him to leave Machon Lev and return to full time learning at his former Yeshiva. Unsuccessful… he asked permission from the parents to ask Rav Chaim Kanievsky a Shaila about whether to stay in Machon Lev or leave and go back to his old Yeshiva.

This is one of the major problems I have with the mentality of the right. Everything is a Shaila!

Well guess what? Not everything is a Shaila. You can decide for yourself what is best for your children. You don't need to go to a Gadol for every decision in life. It is high time the Right Wing world realizes that one does not need to seek "Daas Torah" to decide where to educate a child.

It's not that it is Assur to ask a shaila. It is just that the right has abdicated all decision making processes to "the Gadol".

In my day these kinds of Shailas just were not asked except in special circumstances. Asking a Charedi Gadol whether a Ben Torah should forego secular learning and continue learning in the Beis HaMedrash is the same as a Catholic asking his priest if he can divorce his wife.

The real problem is a presumption currently extant on the right that a Mashgiach or simliar authority figure has any right to even suggest asking such a Shaila about a child to someone who has already made a decision about it.

This is the same mentality that accepts the defacto infallibility of Gedolim. The mindset is that even though technically they are fallible, they are treated as though they are infallible. This is commonly referred to as “Daas Torah”. And that is what separates a Centrist from a Charedi. To a Charedi, asking a “Gadol” a question about whether to go to this or that Yeshiva is tantamount to asking for a Psak. Once the answer is given it is followed without question. Daas Torah has spoken.

To a Centrist such questions are asked in the sense that one asks for advice. And you consider the advice and the person who gave it accordingly. But it is treated as advice, not as Psak. When I asked my Rebbe a Shaila in Halacha, I listened to him. But when I asked him for advice I would take is advice... to be considered among my own thoughts, and the thought of others I had consulted.

This does not mean to say that the advice of a Gadol isn’t valuable. Of course it is. You do not become a leader in Israel unless you have displayed some wisdom in your life. Their advice should be given substantial weight. But it should in no way be considered the final word. One should consider all factors and advice including one’s own wisdom.

But should anyone feel the need to consult with a Gadol it would be wise to know their general positions on matters they wish to consult about before seeking advice from.

Here are three cases that I am aware of that show a wide divergence of Charedi opinion:

Based on the anecdotal evidence by a poster on Areivim, I am fairly convinced that Rav Kanievsky is of a mind to advise his students to stay in learning with little regard to other considerations.

On the other hand I know of a case where Rav Nosson Tzvi Finkel advised one student to leave his Yeshiva, go back to America to finish college, and come back when he was done. The student did this and is now one of Mir's biggest stars.

Rav Shlomo Zalman Auerbach advised a student to leave Eretz Yisreol where he was Shteiging at the time get his masters and come back. This student is a major Talmud Chacham today and has authored many Seforim in both Hebrew and English.

But the bottom line is that it is advice …not Psak.

Rabbi Shlomo Carlebach

One of the most significant phenomena I have witnessed in my years on this earth is the renaissance of what is commonly called Jewish music. (I question the definition as what passes for Jewish music. It is really European folk tunes adapted to various Tehilim and other Jewish phrases. But that is the subject of another post.) Until about 1960, Jewish Music consisted of what I would call Zemiros. Recordings were limited to a singer or two, perhaps as much as a quartet. Recordings were few in number and were basically classic Zemiros for Shabbos or Yomim Tovim.

There were of course the great Chazanim all making recordings of classical Chazanus as well. And they were indeed great Chazanim singing great Chazanus. But that kind of Jewish music is outside the scope of this essay. In any case, aside from these two types of music, there was little else. Most non Chazanic melodies were rather boring and monotonous. Rhey lacked any kind of character or musicality.

Along about 1960 came an individual by the name of Rabbi Shlomo Carlebach who I had the privilege of hearing in my elementary day school in Detroit very early in his career. He was friends with one of the vice principals there. I will never forget it. There he was next to the Duchan platform with his guitar singing all the new songs on his first album that had been just released. Neither he nor I... nor anyone else in the room knew it at the time as he was yet still quite unknown but was he was about to change the face of Jewish music forever.

With his very first album he established himself as a genius of melodic composition. And his genius did not stop with one album. His melodies kept coming year after year, decade after decade until his death. Today, of course there are many singers and composers who have come upon the scene and each has impacted Jewish music with their own compositions and innovations…all adding to the current state of Jewish music, which has progressed light years ahead of what it was in the period just before Carlebach.

But it was Carlebach who had and by far the most profoundt impact. Not just because he was the first to innovate, not because his music was so unique, but because he was the most prolific and consistent in writing high quality music which ws adaptable to many different phrases culled from Biblial, Midrashic, and Talmudic sayings. He has by far written more popular compositions than anyone else. His body of work so great and so widely spread that it has permenated just about every segment of Orthodoxy and even beyond. Whether it is a modern orthodox synagogue or a Yeshivish Minyan, oreven a Yeshiva itself. They utilize and adapt his music to Tefillos and Zemiros. And what would a wedding band be without Carlebah’s music? The fact is that his penetreation into the psyche of a singer of Jewish songs is so deep and wide that many people don’t even realize that a given popular melody was composed by him. I have been at Charedi Shuls in Israel for example that were totally against Carlebach, (for reasons that are about to becoame apparent) who used his melodies adapted to Teffilos, even on Yom Kippur.

This is quite an accomplishment. No one else even comes close to him. He is the original. But it isn’t all roses and light.

Shlomo Carlebach was quite a controversial figure during his lifetime. In his desire to spread his music beyond the walls of Orthodoxy he started performing in various non Jewish clubs. He also started dabbling in Kiruv and attracted a lot of groupies during one period of his life. And these groupies were not necessarily Frum or even Jewish. And some of his techniques of outreach were very controversial. And considering the Yeshiva and Chasidic world he came from, these techniques were considered at best very borderline. He thus developed a bad reputation amongst his root constituents. So much so that Rabbi Moshe Feinstein had to write a Teshuva acknowledging the complaints about him but never-the-less allowing his music to be played and otherwise utilized.

Meanwhile, due to his charismatic personality and great storytelling ability he became quite the guru later in life attracting many devotees from all walks of Orthodox life.

Eventually, though maintaining his guru status among many, his popularity waned as other younger stars came onto the horizon, And they were quite good, names like Mordechai Ben David and Avraham Fried quickly surpassed Carlebach by using their own innovations in arrangements and orchestrations and utilizing the best talent in Jewish music to write, arrange, produce, perform, and market their recordings. These and others like them soon surpassed Carlebach’s popularity though none have even come close to surpassing his contributions.

Ultimately Rabbi Shlomo Carlebach passed away a pauper. I was told by a devoted musician follower of his that collections had to be made just to give him a decent funeral.

But since his death a curious thing has happened. There has developed something called Carlebach Minyanim. And they seem to be on the rise. On the surface there seems to be nothing wrong with them. They basically utilize his music to the entire liturgical service, especially for Kabbalas Sahbbos, with little if any exception. This in an of itself is not be a problem. But because of his Charismaitc personality and body of work, he has become somewhat of an item of worship himself. By this I do not mean as an Avodah Zara. But since his death his icon status has grown to a point where many a Carlebach Minyan is more about his music than it is about the Tefilos . It is as if the melodies are more important than the words. And when this happens it is counter to what Tefillos are all about. The focus is off. Way off. It is one thing to have a worship service. It is another when the icon being worshipped is a charismatic individual now deceased or even the melodies he composed. The focus of a prayer service should be God.

To be sure, not all Carlebach Minyanim are like that. Some actually mix other Niggunim with his. And in situations of Kiruv, it is certainly acceptable to have Minaynim that utilize Carlebach’s music if that is what turns them on to observance… as long as it is only the “hook” and not the essence. But for those who are not in the process of discovering Torah, I find such Minyanim inappropriate.

Yesterday I was in St. Louis visiting my daughter. I davened in the Community Kollel there which is basically an Agudah type Minyan. To my surprise, both on Friday night and Shabbos they were heavily into Carlebach. I noticed a high level of participation by those in attendance in the singing of the melodies of Carlebach. While it was quite a nice experience in that I am a lover of his music, there was definitely a focus on the music and not the Tefilos. The music became “the thing”. People were clapping and singing the melodies long after the words were sung. This is quite typical of Carlebach Minyanim and it misses the point of Tefilah. And I noticed many of the Avreichim while singing along (at least some of them) looking at each other somewhat embarrassingly. In my view they were indeed right in feeling that way.

The Death of Abu Musab al-Zarqawi

Yesterday’s news about the death of Islamic terrorist Abu Musab al-Zarqawi has been welcomed by the entire civilized world as something to celebrate. An almost universal cheer could be heard when the announcement was made. And indeed it is something to celebrate. But it is not a victory. I’m not entirely certain it will do much to reduce in the short term the amount of terror perpetrated by Muslims in the name of Islam. We should all take this victory which it certainly is with a huge grain of salt.

The fact happens to be that what the world is really fighting is not terrorism, but Islam. Indeed Islamists have declared it as such by using the term Jihad (holy war). And I say this full well realizing that there is a difference between Islam and Radical Islam. But the fact that there is a strain of believers in the extermination of innocent human beings in pursuit of their goals and that belief is based on a sincere belief that this the will of God. That Islam tolerates such belief makes the entire religion culpable. And they DO tolerate it. Because I have yet to hear any of them condemn in the clearest of terms. At bets it is always a tepid reponse in the context of condemning al terrorist acts (meaning Israel of course). This means that the religion itself is intolerable in any kind of civilized world.

However we are not going to be able to eradicate the entire religion even if it deserves to be. What we then need focus on are that strain that believes that murder is justified and that innocents that get in the way of those goals and die end up as martyrs. This is what allows them “in good conscience” to kill innocent people including their own. It is a “whatever it takes” for the glory of Islam mentality.

But for the most part it has been referred to until recently the war was considered a war on terror. In fact even He may have even coined the phrase "War on Terror". But as sincere and focused as the President is and as convinced as I am that is doing the right thing he is incorrect in calling it a war on terror. It is a war on Islam. And it can’t be won until we defeat the religion. How this is done is a real problem because in essence you must kill something which is not “killable”… an idea.

Now no one really expects to kill an entire religion. But what can be done is to so demoralize Islamists as to make them despair of achieving their goals. As of the moment we aren’t even close to doing that. But killing al-Zarqawi is a step in that direction, although Islamists are calling it a victry for Islam in that it adds yet another martyr to their cause and motivates them even more. At the moment, that may be true. And they seem to have an endless supply of suicide bombers to fill their call. But that feeling cannot be sustained by then forever if we continue to inflict major casualties’ against their leaders. And to that end the capture and assassination of Bin Laden would be another step.

But the ultimate step would be not to kill a leader out in the field like Zarqui or Bin Laden. They are just the “military” wing of Islamism. The people who would make the biggest impact on these religious murderers (if that isn’t a contradictory phrase) are the clerics… the Mullahs… in other words the Khomenis. These are their true spiritual leaders. Assassinating them would send the most effective message possible to them. If their religious leaders are being killed they may very well re-think their religious beliefs.

And it can’t stop with the fanatics in Iraq. To be carried out in Iran, Lebanon, and the Palestinian areas. Once we send “that” message it will turn the tide. To that end it would behoove the world wide intelligence community to concentrate all their efforts in that direction.

And that is the key to winning the war. That is the key to preventing another attack like the one on 9/11. Because only then will the fervent Islamist change and turn toward the more moderate clerics (and yes they do exist) that have been opposed to their behavior theologically. There can be no mercy on the cruel. It requires the total focus and determination of the entire civilized world. Islamism must be defeated. Creating a democracy in Iraq is not going to work by itself. If Islamism spread to the average man. Then Islamists will be democratically elected into office has to be accompanied by a victory and the only victory that has any meaning is the total destruction of Radical Islam.