There is a lovely young woman I know who lives in Chicago. She is about 30 years old. She is an observant Jew who has recently received her PhD and is looking to get married. She lives in the Lakeview area of Chicago which is comparable to New York’s Upper West Side. It is a haven of Modern Orthodox singles and married couples. I have long wanted to see her get married and have tried to think of Shiduchim for her. But there is one slight problem. She is a Conservative Jew.
How is it possible for me to say that she is observant if she is a member of a heretical movement? That is because she is not doctrinal. She was raised by sincere parents who are themselves observant and members of a Conservative Shul. Now it’s true that most Conservative Jews are not observant at all. They range all the way from observing many Halachos to not observing any consciously. They just identify with what they see as the “Centrist” denomination.
But in many cases, albeit a minority, one can find some very sincere Conservative Jews who are very earnest in their observance. And if they believe in Torah MiSinai which is an acceptable approach in the Conservative Movement or simply don’t think about such issues, then there isn’t that much difference between them and us. It would be relatively easy for them to switch right into a Left Wing Modern Orthodox (LWMO) setting without skipping a beat. The only real difference would be in the separate seating arrangements in their respective Shuls.
I also know of a very fine young man who was raised Orthodox, went to Yeshivos both here and Israel. He is currently a physician on staff at a large metropolitan hospital. But his level of observance is light. He strongly identifies with an Orthodoxy that is somewhat to the right of LWMO. Whenever I think of fixing the two of them up, I start thinking to myself, that in a sense she is more religious than he is.
Now I’m sure that she could easily adapt to his generally lower religious standards but I find it quite odd that I am actually protective of a Conservative Jew’s religiosity from the dangers of a less observant Orthodox Jew. I have not yet attempted to make this Shidach eventhough their personalities and lifestyles are pretty similar. However, since she is more idealistic than he is, I have a problem even suggesting it.
That there are so many Conservative Jews who are serious about their observance should be seen as a challenge to us. It is all too easy to say that our Kiruv efforts should be geared to those whose knowledge of Torah Judaism is negligible. That’s what the NCSYs and Aish HaTorahs do. But what about this young woman and others like her? Can we afford to just leave them alone? Should we perhaps be interacting more with them? Can we entice them away from the heresy that is the Conservative movement into the Emes of an Orthodox one? Is there Kiruv for them? And how would we do it? Is there anyone or any group doing it?
As for this Shidach, I am still in a quandary. What is the right thing to do? Who am I protecting from whom? Or perhaps I should just go ahead and set it up.
