HaMelech!

The year 5771 is quickly fading away and we are about to enter the New Year. Tomorrow is Rosh Hashana – where the King of kings judges our past – both as individuals and as a people. God determines what our New Year will look like. Who will live and who will die. And how.

Teshuva, Teffila, and Tzedaka can overturn an evil decree.

Teshuva requires regret. And if it is Bein Adma L’Chavero it requires forgiveness from man before we can ask for - and receive forgiveness from God. At this time I ask that all those that I have in any way hurt in the past – whether intentionally or inadvertently - to accept my sincere apology. I regret my actions and my words. Although it is never my conscious intent, I fully understand that in my zeal to get my message across I could have easily insulted, embarrassed, or in some other way hurt someone. In some cases I may have responded in anger to an insult and purposely derided my detractor. To paraphrase a famous expression - the pen can be mightier than the tongue.

I therefore ask for Mechila – forgiveness - from any and all people. No matter how much we disagree on any issue or how strongly we feel about it - I believe that most of us are L’Shem Shamayim. For my part I completely and without any reservation forgive any and all who seek Mechila from me.

It has been another rough year for my grandson Reuven. Although he feels good and even looks and acts quite healthy, he has not yet beat the cancer. As of his last MRI he still has tumors growing in various parts of his body. He recently had surgery to remove a fast growing tumor on his skull. This was the second time he had surgery in the same place for the same reason. Only this time it penetrated the brain a bit. Fortunately it did not affect him mentally in any way. The surgery was a success and all visible signs of the tumor have been removed. But we all live with the fear that it could come back again very quickly. May God save us!

Earlier this year one of Reuven’s legs broke – weakened by either the cancer; the chemo; or both - he has been slow on the mend for the same reasons. He has been unable to walk for most of the last school year requiring a shadow – someone who stays with him whenever he is away from home to take care of any needs he has requiring mobility. That situation is improving. As a result of on-going physical therapy He has begun walking with a walker. We hope to continue to see him improve in that regard.

Even in the depths of this ‘cloud’ hanging over our heads - one can find a ‘silver lining’. A wonderful by-product of Reuven’s illness is the following. Without getting into details Reuven’s shadow was a marvelous young teenager who was so inspired by Reuven that it changed his life.

Reuven is still on an oral chemotherapy and a special diet of naturally based food items that have had some miraculous results on cancer patients with even worse prognoses than he had. We are all hopeful that this will produce similar fruit for him. His parents are in consultation with his doctors every step of the way and they are doing this with full approval of the pediatric oncologists at Children’s Memorial Hospital.

Mostly we are grateful to God for his blessings. The cancer has not affected any of his vital organs in any serious way. And his mental sate is very positive. His environment is the same. Some of our friends have noted that his house is the ‘happiest place in town!’

We believe that the world-wide prayers for his recovery are landing on God’s ‘ear’ and that He is actively intervening in Reuven’s care for the better. We hope that continued prayer on his behalf will result in his complete recovery. So in the coming days of prayer and penance where we ask God to grant us a good year - please keep Reuven ben Tova Chaya in mind.

Kesiva VeChasima Tova

Message to Parents for the Upcoming Holidays

I have been asked to post the following public service announcement. I rarely do these kinds of things but considering events that took place over the summer and the potential for disaster - I am making an exception and am happy to post Rabbi Yakov Horowitz's words.

With the Yomim Noraim upon us and the Yom Tov of Succos shortly thereafter, we would like to remind all parents to make sure that your children are supervised by a responsible adult at all times -- including the times when the adults are davening in Shul or resting in the afternoon.

One Shabbos morning earlier this month, walking through the heart of Boro Park while many Shuls were still davening, I observed dozens of children playing in front of various shuls with no adults in sight. This may potentially be a recipe for disaster. We therefore, strongly encourage all parents to raise their awareness level regarding child safety.

The Yomim Noraim and Yomim Tovim are a special time when children have the opportunity to interact with many different people. It is an opportune time to review with them the important lessons of personal safety. These include:

1) Your body belongs to you and you alone.
2) No one can ever tell you secrets to keep from your parents
3) Good-touch -- bad-touch: No one may touch you in a spot normally covered by a bathing suit.
4) No one has the right to make you feel uncomfortable. You should shout and run away if someone does that to you.

If you are unfamiliar with these messages, please take the time to watch this video about teaching your children about personal safety.

Project YES has been sponsoring a "Take a Child to Shul" campaign for the past few years before Yom Tov, asking community members to help the children of single mothers, especially the boys, by taking them to Shul. We continue to encourage this practice and similar acts of chesed.

On behalf of our staff and the families who reach out to us for help year-round, we wish our supporters and our readers a K'siva V'chasima Tova, a year filled with joy and nachas, and a year of Shalom for our brothers and sisters in Eretz Yisroel and around the world.

Yakov Horowitz
Director, Project YES

The Great Orthodox Divide

Sometimes I just want to give up. No matter how much I want to see Achdus, it seems more elusive than ever. Rabbi Yosef Reinman wrote a book a few years ago called One People – Two Worlds. He had become friends with a Reform rabbi and they wrote a book together. It was of course banned by the right and he ended up apologizing for it. He thereby retained his standing.

I think we are witnessing the same thing happening in Orthodoxy itself. We are one Orthodox people but we are definitely becoming two Orthodox worlds. Maybe even three worlds: one on the right, one in the middle, and one on the left. I have recently written about just how far out of the mainstream the left seems to be going. If they keep going in this direction there may ultimately not be any compatibility between us.

But the right is no better. I’m not talking about the Meah Shearim/Eida HaCharedis types in Israel. They seem to have already become a people unto themselves virtually cut off from the civilized world. I’m talking about American Charedim who are not seen as such extremists - but are nonetheless on the far right of Orthodoxy

I have often stated the differences between moderate mainstream Charedim and the hard right Charedim. I predicted that the hard right will eventually fall off the edge of the earth. I hope that’s still true but I’m not so sure any more. They are not going to go away without a fight. And they are fighting pretty hard for the hearts and minds of the entire Charedi world - moderates included.

An intimidating letter sent out by a couple Lakewood Beis Yaakovs to a potential parent - to be signed and returned - demonstrates this. They are in effect using a ‘status hammer’ to force their ways upon their people.

Here are their demands. They forbid any kind of dissent among the ranks. No public expression of any kind about any dissatisfaction they might have about any facet of life in Lakewood. No blogging. No websites. No involvement of any kind in Lakewood politics. And permission must be granted by the Lakewood’s Roshei Yeshiva for any kind of involvement in public affairs affecting their community.

He are basically being required to give up his sense of reason and sense of right and wrong… leaving it to others to decide. In other words he is being asked to give up his humanity and become a robot.

According to the website the parent who received this letter and forwarded it to them did not sign it and instead sent his daughters to an ‘out of town’ Beis Yaakov. (I have to wonder - are there no other Beis Yaakovs in Lakewood?)

I don’t question the right of any school to set up any conditions they want for their schools. They can demand that their students come to school wearing underwear in their heads if they want. It isn’t about rights. It is about the unbelievable level of control they are asking for in exchange for being considered a member in good standing in their community. I assume that a daughter being rejected from these schools carries with it a great stigma.

A good number of the people receiving these letters are probably moderate Charedim. They tend to do the kinds of things outlawed in this letter matter of factly. And yet they are being forced via social acceptance factors into rejecting them. My guess is that many moderate Charedim will just capitulate and sign the letter to avoid being seen as outcasts or even rebels.

This will contribute to the divide within Orthodoxy. It is a gap that is so wide that it will soon be unbridgeable – if it isn’t yet. There will be two incompatible worlds in Orthodoxy - one resembling the Essenes who were the religious right during the days of Chazal; and one mainstream that will include the vast majority of Orthodox Jewry – including most moderate Charedim.

The difference is that the Essenes died out because they practiced celibacy. The Charedi right of today does not have that problem. They will continue to grow at a rapid pace – albeit with plenty of dropouts. I was just told of another one today by his uncle who lives in Chicago.

How will this play out? Some of these parents will toe the line and be exemplars of the Charedi right. Others (my guess is the greater half) will cheat and be involved in these ‘forbidden things’ clandestinely. It seems that most people in Lakewood not only have the internet, they are Wi-Fied. And as can be seen there are plenty of Charedi websites and blogs. Not to mention Charedim who participate in them.Thus they will be setting themselves up as hypocrites and even liars to their children.

This cannot ultimately be good for Chinuch. You can’t say you adhere to a Hashkafa that you do not practice in the home. Trying to hide it from your children will not work. They are going to find out. The lesson learned will be that rules are meant to be broken. It would not surprise me that the next step for a child being raised that way will be texting on Shabbos. It would not even surprise me if that is already a problem even in Lakewood.

Whether they realize it or not the kinds of extremes these rabbis are forcing upon their people are in many ways ‘contributing to the delinquency of minors’. Their ‘solutions’ are more of a cause than a cure to the problems they see. But it seems that nothing will stop them from becoming the Essenes of our time separate and apart from the rest of Klal Yisroel. This is quite a sobering thought 2 days before Rosh Hashanah.

Updated: 6:30 PM EDT

The Annual Pilgrimage to Uman – Right or Wrong?

The Ukraine is one of the most anti Semitic parts of the world. At least that was the case during the Holocaust. Both my father and my father in law were there during then. Were it not for some righteous gentiles neither my wife nor I would exist. Both of our fathers would have perished before we were born. I have told both stories in the past.

The fact is however that except for the very small number of righteous gentiles who literally risked their lives to save Jews, the Ukrainian people were happy to accommodate their Nazi captors in rounding up Jews and gladly handing them over to the Nazis who sent them to their deaths. The Ukrainian people in fact relished the idea.

So the following comes as no surprise. Ynet reports that about 300 ultra-nationalist bigots protested the upcoming annual Jewish pilgrimage to Uman - a city in the Ukraine where Rav Nachman of Brelsov is buried.

I am not saying that there is the kind of anti-Semitsm in the Ukraine today that there was during the Holocaust. But clearly it exists at some level. Menachem Begin once said about Poland that anti-Semitism is in their mother’s milk! Based on everything I've heard from Holocaust survivors from that area - what’s true for Poland goes double for the Ukraine.

About 100 of these protesters were arrested because they violated a court order to not protest. That’s probably because protests are not being done at the behest of the townspeople. In fact the opposite is true. They want these Chasidic Jews there. The economic benefits to the town far outweigh any anti Semitic sentiments they may harbor under their skin. This is in effect their Christmas season. Hotels are packed and they charge premium prices for their rooms. Private ancillary services make a killing on the money that pours in.

Despite the financial benefits however, tens of thousands of Breslover Chasidim coming into a small town takes its toll. It cannot be pleasant for Uman’s citizenry for their town to be virtually taken over by these ‘strange looking Jews’. Who knows what happens ‘on the ground’ …what kind of mess they make, or how self centered they are interacting with their hosts …or how uncaring about the mess they might leave behind. But even if they are careful about these things – the mess is inevitable. That just feeds any residual anti-Semitism these Ukrainians have.

Most of these Chasidim leave the holy land at one of the holiest times of the year and travel to an unholy land to pray at the grave of their founder. I have to ask, what is the point here? Why do these Chasidim feel they need a dead intermediary for their prayers of forgiveness on Rosh Hashanah? Even if there is some sort of gain - is the gain worth the price?

I have never really understood the current growing trend of praying at the burial sites of Tzadikim even though the source for that is a Midrash on the Torah itself (Shemos 13:22). Calev - one of the 12 spies sent by Moshe to Israel to survey the circumstances prior to entry of the entire Bnei Yisroel - took a detour to the Ma'aras HaMachpela (the cave of the patriarchs) to pray for a successful mission. But that was not the traditional way of praying to God for His help. If it were all the spies including Yehoshua would have done so.

The point is that we need no intermediary in asking for God’s help. We can and should reference ancestral Tzadikim in the sense of invoking their merit on our behalf as an inducement (as it were) to God to grant us a favorable outcome for our prayers. This need not be done at the grave sites. In fact we do it every day during the Amidah.

Nonetheless this has become a very popular method of prayer these days. Many people make great efforts to pray at the grave sites of various historical figures all over the world - but mostly in Israel. I fear that with so many people from all walks of life and backgrounds doing it – that the very concept has in some cases been distorted to praying to the actual dead person for help. I don’t see how that can be anything other than Avodah Zara – a form of idolatry! And yet, praying at the gravesite of righteous ancestors has taken on ever greater importance among so many people.

This Uman phenomenon has picked up steam in recent years and is now out of control. A record 30,000 Chasidim and a few tag-along fun-seekers will be descending on a little Ukrainian city this Rosh Hashanah. No one will ever convince me that this is Judaism! And it certainly is not worth exacerbating the latent anti-Semitism in its wake.

The Hot Chani

One of the most complicated issues facing Orthodoxy these days is modesty in the way we dress. Mostly the issue revolves around what is appropriate dress for women. This was recently highlighted by an article in the Forward.

I have always found this topic difficult to write about. Many women have correctly noted that there is something not quite right about men discussing women’s clothing. Nonetheless the Torah does not treat the subject of sex lightly. The way we dress is directly related to that. The subject requires discussion if we are going to get it right.

In a world obsessed with sex, dressing modestly has never been more important. Ever since the advent the oral contraceptives in western culture – sex has been exploited by the entertainment and advertising media to unprecedented levels. Promiscuity has become a virtually acceptable mode of behavior in many circles. Western culture seems to be all about sex. Whether in the bedroom or the boardroom, women are encouraged to dress as provocatively as they can. Flirtation between the sexes is more common than ever – in far too many cases even between married people not married to each other. I see it all the time.

I have said this before. Men are visual beings. We respond to visual stimuli far more than women do. This makes what women wear far more significant than what men wear. I think this is corroborated societally. In secular culture the formal dress for men is to be covered up head to toe in a tuxedo. Women on the other hand have never been more exposed in their formal wear. There is more skin showing today in women’s formal wear than ever before. This phenomenon suggests that women are more attracted to the fully covered male than the partially dressed one. Vice versa for men. I believe this is the nature of the male female dynamic.

How does an Orthodox Jew respond to this? For one thing it is important to note that it is the man’s obligation to avoid coming in contact with women who dress provocatively. In theory this might suggest that women can dress any way they want and that men should stay away from them. But this cannot be realistically maintained. Men and women in western culture work together; they shop together; they are out and about in equal numbers and see each other all the time in public and in private. Women today are as much in the public eye as men are. As such it is only right that women do whatever they can to minimize sexual provocation.

Halacha mandates that women cover up certain parts of the body. Exposing those parts is considered Erva - nakedness. In brief Halacha requires that a woman’s legs be covered up to and including the knees. It also requires that the arms be covered up to and including the elbow. It also requires that the neckline of any dress, blouse, or shirt not go below the collar bone. No part of the skin below that should be exposed. No slacks of any kind may be worn and married women must over their hair.

Although there are some lenient interpretations of these parameters (and many Orthodox women will push the envelope that way -sometimes even crossing a line slightly) this is how an Orthodox woman will dress.

The problem however is that one can dress quite provocatively even as these parameters are observed. There is nothing in Halacha that says how tight a dress may be. And wigs are now made so well that it is sometimes impossible to even know if it is a wig or not. Hair (or wig) styles can be very provocative.

The same thing with shoes. There are no Tznius rules about shoes. So 5 inch stilettos are technically with the letter of the law. There are many woman especially young married ones who are technically dressed according to the letter of the law and yet are still quite… well… sexy (for lack of a better word)!

That has been severely criticized by women I have spoken to who care about dressing modestly and feel that the spirit of the law is being violated in the extreme! If one considers the reasons for these laws - this is a reasonable criticism.

Some communities go too far in the other direction. Women are being urged to dress in what can only be called an unattractive fashion. Loose fitting shapeless clothing that cover far more of the body than is required by Halacha, covering up the lower leg and forearm completely. Covering hair with wigs that intentionally look like wigs – or in some cases covering the wig with a hat ala Satmar is seen as the base standard of Tznius for women.

I completely disagree with that. Jewish women are not commanded to be ugly or dowdy. They are not commanded to not look like a woman. They are only required to not to dress in a way that provokes erotic thoughts in men.

That is not an easy goal to define. A lot depends on the society in which one lives. In Muslim cultures where women cover up every inch of the skin – including their faces a man might get an erotic thought just be seeing a woman’s exposed face… or even an exposed toe. But in western culture where a lot of exposed female skin is the norm the requirements of dress are basically the minimum requirements of Halacha as noted above. The goal being that they not dress in a manner that would provoke eroticism in men.

So why do so many Orthodox – even Charedi - women do whatever they can to look so sexy ? I believe that the truth lies in the fact that their husbands want them to look that way. Men want their wives to be attractive. In many cases - not just to them but to the whole world. They want to show off their wives... their ‘trophy wives’. The idea that men want their women to look good is not lost in single women looking to get married. Especially when one of the most frequent questions asked by Shadchanim is what dress size does she wear. Young women realize the need to be attractive to the opposite sex.

But they also want to look Frum. So they will dress as provocatively as they can within the letter of the law and maybe even cheat a little bit. That’s has produced the ‘Hot Chani’ phenomenon. This is a young single or married woman who dresses very provocatively and yet is technically following the letter of the law.

I recall not along ago seeing the young married daughter of a prominent Charedi Rosh Yeshiva wearing a skin tight dress at a wedding. And I’m pretty sure her Charedi husband didn’t mind standing next to his beautiful wife. I have heard it said more than once that some women would indeed be happy to dress more within the spirit of Halacha but that their husbands (even among Charedim) want them to look like that.

Is this wrong for a married woman to please her husband in that way? Is it wrong for a single girl that wants to get married to look as attractive as possible? In a society such as ours it is virtually impossible to look beautiful if one does not follow fashion to at least to some degree. Are we asking too much of our women who technically follow the letter of the law to go beyond that and honor the spirit of the law too? Especially in a society where the average woman’s skin is so overexposed that by societal standards they are quite modest?

One thing I am sure of. Jewish women should never be seen as ugly, or dowdy. There is no question in my mind that - same as men - a Jewish woman should look her best in public . That means looking like a woman. I would even go so far as to say that purposely looking ugly or dowdy in the eyes of the world might even be a Chilul Hashem! And yet dressing in ways that turn men on – even if they are technically within the letter of the law is not a good idea either.

I am the last one to tell anyone how to dress. However there has to be a happy medium in our culture, where a woman can look attractive and yet not provocative. I am not the one to define that parameter. But as in most things common sense ought to come into play.

Is the Modern Orthodox Left the New Reform?

I find myself once again in the uncomfortable position of both agreeing and disagreeing with the Yated Ne’aman. There is an article there by Rabbi Avrohom Birnbaum that tries to make the case that various institutions of left wing modern Orthodoxy and their rabbis can be more correctly labeled Reform rather than Orthodox. Strangely enough I can see his point. But at the same time I strongly protest it.

The truth of the matter is that some of the things the left tries to do are indeed pretty radical by mainstream standards. He lists them and we all know what they are. They include: ordaining women, doing away with those parts of Tefflilah that upsets their modern sensibilities, interfaith prayer services, and then there is the following:

Rabbi Hyim Shafner, a clergyman who claims to be Orthodox, wrote on the Morethodoxy website that “the engagement of a couple involved in toeivah should be celebrated at the Kiddush in shul with a cake that says mazal tov.”

He thinks a same sex engagement is something to throw a Kiddush in Shul for. I have not seen that one yet and I must admit that it is a shocker!

Rabbi Birnbaum’s points are well taken. I have made some of the very same points he has. And I completely understand his comparison with the early Reform movement. They started out by writing Teshuvos for their innovations. One of the more famous ones was the use of organ music in a Shul on Shabbos. A Heter was actually written for them by a huge Talmid Chacham.

Their motivations and intentions were similar to those of the modern Orthodox left. They wanted to appeal to the modern mind of their day and thereby keep them in the fold. They believed that making concessions to the spirit of their times would do that. I am convinced that the rabbis of the left who have innovated these things are similarly motivated. They are sincere and committed Jews looking for Heterim to do radical things in order to appeal to the current modern mind.

One could certainly understand their point and their passion. I can definitely see many people with limited backgrounds who are unhappy with the state of Orthodoxy leaving the fold for the greener pastures of Conservative and Reform. It is those movements after all who are the most accommodating to the Zeitgeist.

The left wing in a noble attempt to both understand and sympathize with them while keeping them within Halachic Judaism - has embraced innovations which they feel are still within Halachic parameters – albeit perhaps pushing that envelope. I believe that they have actually been successful at it. The question is whether they have gone too far in doing so. What is the price to be paid? Is this just regurgitated Reform Judaism repackaged in an Orthodox wrapper? I would note that the early reformers were originally Orthodox.

Not that they were called Orthodox. The term had not applied yet since there were no other movements. We were all simply Jews - some more observant and some less. The early reformers just sought to keep Judaism relevant to the masses allowing them to be a ‘man in the street and a Jew in the house’. They thus founded a movement to do just that. And we all know what Reform Judaism morphed into. It is a non Halachic movement that is now backpedaling fiercely - reintroducing and encouraging formerly rejected ritual into their lives.

It is truly a slippery slope the left is on despite their noble goals. I agree that we should protest some of what they are doing and I have done so. Although I would not agree in total with what Rabbi Birnbaum considers outside the parameters of Orthodoxy. But I do agree that what the extreme left wing of Orthodoxy is doing is in many ways… well… unorthodox.

At the same time I strongly object to his calling them Reform and refusing to give them the title they earned. They are rabbis and to the best of my knowledge their Semicha has not been revoked. To the best of my knowledge they have not violated any Halacha and seek Halachic justification for everything they do – misguided though they may be.

They seem to reject the importance of tradition that has been established for centuries and consider it antiquated and irrelevant. They seem attribute either nefarious or ignorant motives (by today’s standards) to Chazal – having been guided by the inferior moral sensibilities of their time. I personally find even that idea reprehensible. But does that make them Reform rabbis if they try to correct what they see as inequities via Halachic methods?

Reform rabbis - these people are not. They may be misguided by modern issues like social feminism - an issue which about which they feel very strongly. But they should be seen as rabbis sympathetic to their congregants who are like-minded – but wrong in the way they seek ways accommodate them.

The bottom line is that I too protest what they are doing, but I do not throw them out of Orthodoxy. Instead of criticizing the way Rabbi Birnbaum does organizational Orthodoxy – including the OU, RCA and even the Agudah - for remaining silent, I actually applaud them for it. We don’t need to add to the divisions in Klal Yisroel anymore than we already have. We can – and should criticize ideas with which we strongly disagree. But I protest in the extreme – calling these rabbis Reform. It is insulting. It is divisive. And it is wrong!

What we ought to do instead is make the case for tradition – which I and many others have tried to do. We should try and show them where we feel they are wrong – and why. We should do so strongly and with full conviction.

If we don’t succeed in convincing them we will have to agree to disagree. But as long as they remain Halachic Jews and do not preach heresy - we can ill afford to create another division in Klal Yisroel now… even if they are doing their level best by their actions to alienate the right and make it happen.

Call Me Naïve but…

I have been reluctant to express my views about the upcoming push by Palestinian leader Mahmoud Abbas to unilaterally declare the State of Palestine at the United Nations. The reason for that is that my view on this subject is not the conventional wisdom. I’m sure that more than a few people will disagree - perhaps strongly. I can only imagine some of the responses. Nonetheless this is how I see things. I will be happy to be corrected.

Obviously I would prefer this not happen. I would prefer if Mr. Abbas would go to the UN and concede to every Israeli demand in exchange for a State. But this will not happen. If things stand as they are now - he is going to declare the State of Palestine at the UN tomorrow. And it will probably be voted upon affirmatively by the majority of the member states in the General Assembly.

I have to wonder what all the angst is about. There are several things to consider about this that make this entire event relatively benign.

First it should be noted that unilateral actions with respect to Palestinian autonomy were first undertaken by Israel. Gaza was given to them in its entirety. Whether that was a mistake or not is irrelevant to this action. Israel is not giving an inch of land of removing one West Bank resident because of this declaration.

Second a Palestinian state is not something that in principle Israel objects to. Every coalition government since Ariel Sharon has already agreed to a two state solution. Including the present one. It is only the unilateral declaration of it that is off. If I am not mistaken this new declaration does not even discusses the issues under dispute – like borders, Jerusalem, and Arab rights of return. I believe that with this resolution they just want world recognition that they are in some way shape or form a legitimate State – details to be worked out later. How does that change any of the facts on the ground? How does that really endanger us anymore than we already are? For most Palestinians world recognition will just give them national pride .

The truth is that if the world body votes to approve a new Palestinian State - it will really only be a symbolic victory for them. They will not be an official state because the United States will veto it in the Security Council. Without the Security Council any declaration by the General Assembly is basically meaningless.

There is some concern that even as an unofficial state - Palestinians will be able to take their case against Israel to the International Court in the Hague… or seek control of airspace and water rights currently under Israeli control… or maybe even be allowed to join the infamous UN Human Rights Council – eager to find fault in everything Israel does. But again… what legal jurisdiction or power do any of these organizations have over Israel? What credibility do they even have? And how would any such declaration enable Palestinians to wrest control from Israel of airspace or water rights?

And what will Palestinians really gain materially if they force the issue in the UN? They will very likely lose American financial support. If I understand correctly congress has indicated it would cut off financial aid to them if they unilaterally declare a State. That’s 600 million dollars annually they will lose.

Some – like Rabbi Yitzchok Adlerstein have called this an Eis Tzara – a time of trouble for the Jewish people. He fears that any kind of legitimization at all from the world body will embolden them to attack and destroy Israel which is their ultimate goal.

I’m not sure I agree. Or at least I don't see things as any worse off than before. Are they not motivated enough yet?! Have they not already shown their desire to do that?! This will not add anything to that desire. But even if it would, it will certainly not give them any more power to do it. If anything it will lessen their power if they stop getting aid from the US.

Nor should we be worried that the UN will take away legitimacy from Israel. If they wanted to vote Israel out of the United Nations they could have easily done so by now. What the world wants and Israel has already agreed to is a 2 state solution. No matter how anti Semitic any of the world governments might be, I doubt that the vast majority of them believe that Israel should be destroyed. It is only the Musilm Middle East states that believe that. Led by the likes of Iran with surrogates in Lebanon and Gaza. If they could do it, they would have done so by now. Declaring Palestine as a State will not give them one iota of additional power to accomplish that goal.

Another thing. Who really cares about the UN anyway? One of the noises always being made in congress by some of its members is to stop funding it. My guess is that this idea will gain momentum if this happens.

The UN a once noble idea about world unity has turned into a joke. It has no real power over any nation. Its voting structure is fundementally flawed. It is skewed to a minority view. Member states are given an equal vote regardless of population size. The US with its fifty States and 300 million people has one vote. So does Qatar with its 300 thousand people... and Kuwait, the United Arab Emirates, and Bahrain with its similar numbers.

It is my view that even though most Palestinians would just as soon see a “Jew free Palestine” from the Mediterranean Sea to the Jordan River; and from Lebanon to Eilat… they are not going to do anything about it. They realize that Israel is here to stay. So too do the rest of the nations of the world. As I said - no matter how anti Semitic they might be, outside of the Middle East none of them are so anti Semitic that they have called for the dismantling of the Jewish State. Most of the Arab States realize that it won't happen and no longer call for it either. (At least officially – I’m sure they wouldn’t mind it if they could accomplish it. But by now they realize that they can’t.)

It is therefore my considered opinion that with the exception of the radical elements like Iran, Hezbollah, Hamas, and a few others, the vast majority of the Arab world – even (and perhaps especially) Palestinians - would just as soon see the entire problem just go away so that they can get on with their lives - even as they express great joy when they see Jewish blood being spilled.

Of course Israel cannot simply ignore the radicals. They are the ones who are actively involved in the goal of cleaning out the Jews from ‘their land’ by whatever means necessary - and at their disposal. Declaring a state in the UN changes nothing in that regard. Israel will remain as vigilant as ever.

Will any such declaration lead to more violence as is feared by so many and articulated by Rabbi Adlerstein? I don’t know but I certainly hope not. And based on my analysis of the entire situation, I don’t think it will. Aside from giving Palestinians some national pride - life will go on. And who knows… maybe national pride will take the place of hatred and will actually lead to some sort of negotiated peace. Although I doubt it.

Rabbi Adlerstein has called for increased intensity in prayer. Does my analysis mean that we shouldn’t take his plea for prayer seriously? No. Of course we should continue to pray for the safety of our people. Prayer is as important now as it ever was. Now is no time to stop.

It’s the Rabbis!

If the YWN report is accurate – it should settle once and for all who is responsible for the attacks against Orot - a girl’s religious elementary school in the Bet Shemesh area. It is the rabbinic leaders themselves. Their names have been listed in a source (YWN) that is usually sympathetic to the Charedi version of things.

It is true that they use disclaimers like “it was reported in…” thus protecting themselves if it isn’t true. However that they published the report along with names of promient rabis tends to confirm in my mind that it is very likely true. YWN is not give to Lashon Hara about their own.

I have been saying this for some time now. It is the leaders’ fault that these animals even exist. Mainstream Charedi rabbis are backing their claims to the school.

It is a clear as the sun to me that counter protests at the homes of these rabbinic leaders must take place. They should be peaceful but huge - the opposite of the hooligans who speak for these rabbis. There should be many placards denouncing the activities that are being fueled by these rabbis. The contrast between how a civilized Torah community responds to a situation and an uncivilized one should be made obvious to both the media and the rabbis being protested.

One might argue that the rabbis do not support the hooligan methods of protest. Only their objectives. It doesn’t matter. Their attitude feeds the unadulterated trash posing as human beings that yell and scream insults at 6th grade girls; throw eggs at them as they leave the school for their homes… all while shouting vulgarities and spitting at members of the media covering the story!

I cannot tell you how much this entire thing disgusts me. From the protesters to the rabbis who support their goals.

How can anyone including people in the normal - moderate Charedi world just stand idly by and watch it happen? And worse, how can anyone even try and be Dan L’Kaf Zechus here? How can anyone judge favorably the gutless wonders who throw eggs at little girls?! ...or the rabbis who support their goals? And how can a Charedi Mayor who is supposed to serve the public stand idly by with an excuse of trying to be neutral to the kind of things happening here?!

Protest, protest, protest! Organizers should try and get every decent human being to join in protest against these rabbis... right in front of their homes. I would urge that as many Charedim as possible join. If possible I would urge even Chilonim to join. The bigger the crowd the bigger the impact. There truly is strength in numbers. This is as good a time for solidarity as ever.

Perhaps it should even be done on Erev Rosh Hashana . Let it be known that good and decent people everywhere from all walks of life will no longer remain silent… that they are all shocked and outraged by what is happening in Bet Shemesh during the month of Elul just before the holiest period of the year.

Is it Laudable to protect Jewish Criminals from Prosecution?

There is an interesting analysis at VIN by Rabbi Avi Shafran about a case pending before a California judge right now. It is a case I blogged about recently. There is not much to add.

To review - a Chasidic Jew has refused to testify against other Jews who have committed financial crimes. Specifically avoiding taxes via a money laundering scheme this Chasidic Jew devised, carried out, and was convicted of.

He has already served time in prison for that crime. He is now being asked to cooperate with prosecutors by giving up the names of individuals who used his money laundering scheme. They saved millions of dollars in ill-gotten gains (selling illegal knock-offs of designer products) by ‘donating’ the huge profits they made to a charity and then getting most of it back under the table for a 10% fee.

He has refused to do that because of a Halacha called Mesirah – but most Poskim do not believe that it applies in a country such as ours.

However, Rabbi Shafran points out that there are Poskim who say it does apply today - among them Rav Moshe Feinstein – a certifiable Gadol. And certainly the vast majority - if not the entire Chasidic community feels that way. And the defendant in this case is one such Chasid. He firmly believes that he is serving God by not informing on his Jewish ‘clients’ who participated and benefited from his illegal scam.

Is that a Kiddush HaShem or a Chilul HaShem? Rabbi Shafran does not say so directly but I think he implies that it is actually a Kiddush HaShem! He points out that the defendant in this case is not participating in some sort of conspiracy to hinder the government but is merely standing up for his religious beliefs. As such he considers it laudable – implying that it might even be a Kiddush Hashem.

The reasoning behind that is as follows. That a Mitzvah may not be universally seen as a positive does not automatically make it a Chilul HaShem if it is done . For example in a society that sees circumcision as so barbaric an act that it might outlaw it, it is still incumbent upon us to circumcise our sons. Not only that - if a country would outlaw it for anti Semitic reasons doing a circumcision in defiance of the law would be a Kiddush HaShem!

Rabbi Shafran wants to compare a government requiring testimony against Jewish white collar criminals to a government forbidding circumcision - at least as it applies to this Chasid.

But is that a Kiddush HaShem – even if he believes that Halacha requires him to do it? I do not see it that way. How can it be a Kiddush HaShem to protect criminals from prosecution just because they are Jewish? There are clearly Poskim who say it is not Mesirah … even if his own Poskim say it is? He may feel it is still his obligation to follow his own Poskim. But please – let us not view his actions as in any way laudable. In his case I see it as nether a Kiddush HaShem or a Chilul HaShem. If he believes that this is Mesirah he has a right to his beliefs and to stand up for them.

But I also believe that a just government like the United States has a right to lock him up if they feel that he is hindering their pursuit of justice. His refusal to testify against his co-religionists may be based on his religious principles and not be self serving. But the government’s interests aren’t self serving either. They are there to protect the public from criminals – Jewish or otherwise – misusing taxpayer money. It is after all our money - Jews and gentiles alike. It is one thing to honor God by standing up against an anti Semitic government. It is another to stand up for Jewish criminals.

Laudable? I have to respectfully disagree.

The Anti Religious Ynet

In yet another arrogant anti religious screed a Ynet editorial once again shows its true colors. They want to fire people involved in the female singer fiasco.

Recall the uproar a short while ago over religious soldiers walking out of a performance when a female singer started singing. Ynet is now leading the charge against those who are responsible for it. In fact they want to change the entire structure of military entertainment! “Whose army is this anyway?” they ask. “Who is it that will die for their country - after all?!” “This is the people’s army!” they say.

Indeed it is!

When are people going to learn that Ynet is just an anti religious newspaper with an agenda to wipe clean any semblance of Judaism from the army - and rid it of religious soldiers once and for all! For shame! I agree with those who want to boycott it and accuse it of anti Frum bias. This way we can be spared from an article like this!

An Unjust Decision

First let me say that I am very disappointed by the Federal Court of Appeals refusal to grant Sholom Rubashkin a new trial - thus upholding his 27 year prison sentence. I still feel that the punishment here does not fit the crime. And so do many distinguished Americans in both the legal community and among many public servants – both past and present... as does much of the media.

There is a telephone interview on Matzav.com with famed attorney Nat Lewin (pictured above) who led the legal team that argued the case before the court. He said that in his 50 years as an attorney he has never seen such a massive injustice - with such an aggressive and improper prosecution; and with such unethical conduct by prosecutors and judges as there was in this case. Asked why - he answered that he felt it was becasue of its high profile. The desire for publicity on the part of the Department of Justice and personal ambition on the part of the prosecutors is what motivated them to be so aggressive and intransigent.

I guess the Supreme Court is next. So there is still hope that real justice will eventually be served. My sincere hope is that they will reverse the decision of the appeals court and give him a new trial that will have a better outcome.

That said it is still troubling that in response to this disappointing decision Mr. Rubashkin maintains a posture that blames everyone but himself for his travails. A letter reflecting his views was published at Matzav.com. He basically curses them by saying the following:

As it is important to know that HASHEM saves the Yidden, it’s also important to know that the wicked collaborators will be buried in the dirt that they dug as it says in Tehillim “BOIR KORO VAYACHEPEREIHU”. The Shaar Habitochon says clearly that there is also the Bitachoin that the wicked will be punished for their wickedness.

Just as I have sympathy for his predicament, I have absolutely no sympathy for his sense of self righteousness. Nor do I give Matzav a pass on lavishing praise on him at every turn – as if he were the greatest Tzadik in all of Jewry that was being imprisoned by an anti Semitic Russian Czar with trumped up charges.

What is being completely ignored by both Matzav and Mr. Rubashkin himself is the Chilul HaShem he created in the first place by trying to defraud a bank to the tune of over 26 million dollars. He was found guilty of that. No one disputes his guilt.

That he meant to pay it back but was prevented from doing so because his business was raided by the Department of Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE) and ultimately shut down is irrelevant. The fact that the bank he defrauded didn’t care if the documents they required to make the loan were forged or not is irrelevant. That he did it to save his father’s business is irrelevant too. So is the fact that he was otherwise a good person.

The fact is that he deliberately perpetrated a fraud of massive proportions. And never once expressed regret or even the slightest indication that he did anything wrong. There is no sense of contrition. It’s all about the ‘evil anti Semitic Goy’. Thus perpetuating the Chilul HaShem. He wants salvation from God? Is there salvation for perpetuating a Chilul HaShem? ...even inadvertantly?

Many people are trying to say that this was clearly a case of anti-Semitism. I honestly don’t know for sure because I cannot read what is in the hearts and minds of the prosecution and judges. But I will take Nat Lewin at this word. He says there wasn’t. If anyone is in a position to know that - he is.

One of the arguments made that there was anti Semitism is that he was denied bail during the trial because he was a Jew and therefore a flight risk. His Judaism meant that he could escape to Israel and become an immediate citizen via the ‘Law of Return’ thus avoiding extradition. Was that so unreasonable? Mr. Lewin claims it was since in his entire career no Jewish client ever jumped bail in a white collar case.

Unfortunately there was at least one very high profile Jew who did. An Orthodox Jew from Chicago has shown that this is a legitimate fear because he did exactly that.

If I understand correctly - the only reason he was brought back to the United States to face charges of defrauding the government of millions of dollars was because the United States and Israel recently signed a new agreement extending its extradition treaty to include financial crimes. When Mr. Rubashkin was awaiting trial the extradition treaty did not yet include financial crimes. So whether he would have actually done so or not – it was certainly a legitimate fear on the part of the government… and not necessarily anti-Semitic.

Nonetheless (and contrition aside) I still feel that justice has not yet been done in this case. It is my sincere hope that the Supreme Court will hear the case and reverse the decision of the Appeals Court. As it stands now his sentence is a travesty of justice. He does not deserve to spend most of the rest if his life in a federal prison with no hope for parole.

A Tznius Backlash!

A war has been declared against the so called Taliban or Burka women - a cult of Jewish women who have taken the concept of Tznius in dress to absurd and even dangerous extremes. They refuse to expose any part of their body including any part of their faces and wear Burka like clothing common among certain Muslim sects. Their founder Bruria Keren has been convicted of abusing her own children.

According to an article in Ynet there appears to be about three hundred members of this cult who are... a new sect of cruel women making people miserable and destroying homes, risking lives and showing no mercy to little children. This is what an ad being posted in the Charedi neighborhoods of Jerusalem and Beit Shemseh are saying.

I have no clue who is behind this ad campaign. It is signed by ‘the committee against the cruel women's sect.’ Apparently they have no rabbinic backing. At least officially.

It would not surprise me if this is the same bunch who harasses any woman that dares to violate their own extreme rules about Tznius. It would not surprise me if these are the same people who beat up a young religious (Dati) girl one Friday night as she passed through their neighborhood because she did not fit their model of Tznius. It would not surprise me if this is the same bunch who pinned a 70 year old religious woman carrying her grandchild against the wall of a bus because she was in the wrong section …or the same bunch that beat up Mrs. Miriam Shear on the number 2 bus to the Kotel for the same reason.

Am I happy that they are on the right side of the issue now? That depends on if they plan to use violence to get their way. Violence - whether physical or psychological is after all their answer to everything. As it recently was (and probably still is) at a Dati elementary girl’s school in Bet Shemesh. And from the angry tone of the ads it seems that they are quite ready to do that.

If one steps back and looks at the whole sexual dynamic of these communities - their whole approach to Tznius - the development of the ‘Taliban woman’ should not be surprising. Virtually all the focus these days in Charedi circles is on matters of Tznius. To them it is almost as if that is the only Mitzvah in the Torah.

They urge that women dress in a manner that does not show the female form. Loose fitting clothing; stockings thick enough or not flesh colored so they not be perceived as bare legged; wigs that dare not be too attractive… or look too real; tznius squads roaming the streets; hechsheirm on clothing stores; no pictures of women in any of their publications; separate buses, separate sidewalks… separate everything! Is it really so surprising that some women have taken things to the next level?

The article says that many of the cult members are Baalei Teshuva. Is that not telling? These newly religious women are bombarded with messages about their sex being the devil’s lure to men – sucking them into their web! They are taught that they must do everything they can to avoid turning on a man who can so easily be turned on – even at the sight of a woman’s pinky!

The lesson learned by some of these Baalei Teshuva is that the best way to avoid turning on a man they may inadvertently pass in the street is to simply cover up their entire body – face included. Finding a cult leader who preaches this made the move an easy one for them.

They think - how wrong can they be? Muslim women do it. There must be something universally Tzanua in dressing that way. When they see their zealous men go to such great lengths to protect Tznius – it is a no brainer to these women that covering up everything is praiseworthy.

I wonder how they now see this backlash.

The bottom line is that it is this community’s very own fault that a cult like this exists. And now they are going to take on the ‘monster’ they have created with possible violence. And I’m supposed to be happy about all that?!

My Message to Dovid

My grandson Dovid celebrated his bar Mitzvah last Shabbos. Here is what I said to him at the Shabbos Seudah.

Devorim HaYotzim Min HaLev Nichnasim LaLev. Dovid, these words are directed to you.

Shema B’ni Mussar Avicha - Ve’Al Titosh Toras Emecha. Listen my son to the Mussar of your father and do not forsake the Torah of your mother. So begins the Iggeres HaRamban - a famous letter written by the Ramban to his oldest son about the importance of humility and self control.

But the Ramban did not make up that phrase. It is a Pasuk from Shlomo HaMelech’s Mishlei (1:8)

There are many interpretations to these words. Among them is Rashi’s interpretation that Avicha refers to the word of Hashem – the Mitzvos D’Oraisas. Imecha refers to His people Israel via Chazal’s creation of the Siyagim LaTorah – the Mitzvos D’Rabbanan.

I want to suggest another possible interpretation.

I would have expected Shlomo HaMelech’s words to have been reversed. To call attention to the father’s Torah and the mother’s Mussar.

VeShinantom Levanecha (Devarim 6:7). Is it not after all the duty of a father to teach his son Torah?! And is it not the duty of a mother to give her son Mussar in disciplining him so that he follows the Torah? The Gemara in Yevamos (63a) tells us that one of the two purposes of marriage is so that a woman will raise the children properly. Is it not the mother who is on the front lines of Chinuch?

But the attributions are reversed. It speaks of the father’s Mussar and a mother’s Torah! Perhaps Shlomo HaMelech purposely did that to teach us that both parents are responsible for both things.

I know of no other family where the parental responsibility is more equally shared. Both parents are very knowledgeable in Torah. Your father has completed Shas having learned many Mesechtos B’Iyun – in depth. Your mother has gone through all of Tanach at least once and has also studied with you the sources upon which your Bar Mitzvah Drasha was based. And both are committed to applying the necessary discipline to raise a child properly. Raising a child is not only about teaching rules. It is about living what you teach. It is about being a role model.

The way you have grown - Dovid - is the result of both parents being living examples of what it means to be Torah Jews. I just wanted to tell you how proud I am of - not only you but how proud I am of your mother my daughter Sari and your father Elie. They are role models for us as well.

I would add that not only do you have good role models in your parents. You have good role models in your grandparents, your aunts, and your uncles on both the Ginsparg and the Maryles side.

Dovid the whole world is open before you. You have the potential to become a Gadol B’Yisroel. You have got what it takes. You have the God given intelligence and the Hasmada to sit and learn and stay focused. We have already witnessed where this has taken you so far when this past Sunday you made a Siyum on Shas Mishnayos - and today on two Mesechtos of the Gemarah.

Last Sunday your father mentioned that you felt that you did not really master all of the material you learned . He answered you - that very few can honestly say they have. That it is arrogant for even those who have spent a lot of time learning Torah to say they know it. I agree with your father. The more one learns the more one realizes just how much they don’t know.

As I say, you have great potential. The question is what do you do with all that potential? And how will you know where to apply yourself?

Meseches Avos (2:2) tells us: Yafa Torah Im Derech Eretz. Beautiful is the Torah with the ‘way of the world’.

My Rebbe, Rav Ahron Soloveichik explained exactly what the Mishnah means by Derech Eretz. It does not only mean holding a job - which is the common interpretation (although that is certainly included).

Rav Samson Raphael Hirsch had a much more inclusive meaning. The greater meaning of Derech Eretz includes all things conducive to Tikun Olam - the continued building up of the physical world.

The Gemarah in Brachos (35b) has a related statement on this topic. The Torah tells us in Ve’Asafta D’ganecha ‘and you will gather your grain’ (Devarim 11:4). In explaining this Pasuk Rebbi Yishmael said that this means that one should act according to the ‘way of the world’. VeAsafta DeGanecha – act according to the way of the world.

What is really meant by this unusual expression? What is the Derech Eretz –‘the way of the world’ that makes Torah beautiful if it is included?

Rav Ahron explains that it is the study of worldly knowledge. That - he says - is in an expression of Tikun HaOlam too. By studying all branches of worldly knowledge, one participates in the fulfillment of that Mishnah in Avos. This includes science, math, history, philosophy, the arts, literature, and even poetry.

Last Sunday your father said that if one wants to get the best information available about what the Torah says and what it means - one should seek the council of the Gedolei Olam. Rav Ahron Soloveichik was one such Gadol. As was Rav Hirsch.

What should your goal be in life? Obviously it should be to become the best Dovid Ginsparg you can be. Does this mean that your goal is to become a major Rosh Yeshiva or Posek? Perhaps. If that is where your greatest strength lies it would be criminal not to pursue that as your goal.

But if your greatest talent lies elsewhere, it would be criminal not to pursue that. In either case you should continue your Limud HaTorah to the best of your ability. One is required to learn Torah as much as possible no matter what one does in life.

Nonetheless it is imperative that you find out where your greatest strengths lie and concentrate on that. HaShem does not want His people to squander their talents. He wants them to use them - as that is best way to contribute to Klal Yisroel. That’s why he gives them to you.

Talents and strengths vary widely among people. You are still very young and have time. The more mature you become the better able you will be to see how best to learn what your strengths are and how to best use them. Ultimately it’s up to you.

My Bracha to you is that whatever you choose to do in life - that it should be L’Shem Shamayim - and that you succeed at it beyond your wildest dreams.

Kol Isha, the IDF, and Frumkeit

I am so tired of the conspiracy theory crowd. Especially when it comes to Israel. A few days ago there was an incident where some religious soldiers involved in an officer training program walked out of a performance in which female soldiers started singing. They were ordered to return but they disobeyed orders claiming that being forced to stay violated Halacha. Kol B’Isha Erva. One is not permitted to listen to a woman singing. It is considered Erva - ‘nakedness’ .

When ordered to apologize for standing up, walking out, and disobeying an order to return to the performance the soldiers refused. They were dismissed from the program.

There are those who applaud what these soldiers did. After all… who ya gonna listen to the ‘Kochi V’Otzem Yadi’ crowd or God? In a conflict between Halacha and an army order – of course you listen to God.

There are those who see this whole incident as a ‘set up’. They smugly assert that the army is an anti Frum ‘old boys club’ who in this case were intent on preventing religious soldiers from advancing in the ranks.

Mission accomplished!

I do not believe this even for a minute. Let us examine what happened from the army’s perspective and from the perspective of the performer.

A performance was held for the soldiers. Right in the middle of the performance some of them stood up and walked out - embarrassing the performers. Upon seeing this an officer tried to correct the situation via a direct order to return. They refused. They were subsequently dismissed from the program. From the perspective of the army there was no religious issue. They know little if anything about Kol Isha. And even if they heard of it, they certainly did not expect a reaction like this. Unless one is religious - why would anyone ever think that hearing a woman sing is forbidden by Jewish law?

The army does not have a sense of humor when it comes to disobeying orders. Soldiers disobeyed orders based on a religious claim that makes no sense to them. End of story!

When you’re in the army you don’t disobey orders. And you are certainly not rewarded for doing so by being promoted to a higher rank. I do not believe this was a deliberate attempt to undermine religious soldiers.

Embarrassing another Jew is not to be taken lightly either. The Gemarah tells us that ‘whitening’ the face of another person in public is tantamount to murder! It may have been more Halachicly correct for these soldiers to stay in their seats and try and distract themselves from hearing those voices – perhaps quietly reciting some Tehillim - with their eyes averted from the performer.

Is that a permissible way to avoid the Issur of Kol Isha? Ashkenaz Chief Rabbi Yona Metzger apparently thinks so. When he is involved in formal events requiring his presence and a woman starts singing - he pulls out a sefer and learns in order to distract himself.

That said - I agree with Rabbi Metzger that this is not a permanent solution for IDF soldiers who may often be forced into such a predicament. But in point if fact, he did not walk out on those rare occasions where it happened to him. He did not want to embarrass his government. And these soldiers should not have been so ‘Frum’ that they embarrassed a performer in the middle of her performance.

If one wants to promote conspiracy theories about the IDF’s nefarious intentions with respect to religious soldiers, they will have to explain how to reconcile that with the fact that army now bends over backwards to accommodate Charedi soldiers - as reported by a one such solider in a recent Cross-Currents article.

This event should have never happened. The army needs to become more educated and sensitized to the needs of the religious soldier. At the same time there has to be an understanding among religious soldiers that errors will sometimes be made and that there is no one conspiring against them.

The religious soldier needs to be trained to know in which situations they are Halachicly justified to disobey an order. This was not one of them. Kol Isha is a complicated subject with many differing opinions about what is considered a violation. There are probably leniencies they could have relied upon - even if did not involve embarrassing others. In situations where embarrassment is involved – certainly that should be avoided as does Rabbi Metzger when the same situation arises for him.

What seems to be missing a lot these days is common sense. It is being replaced with Frumkeit!

Of course in those instances where there is such discrimination and it can be proven - that is indeed grounds for dismissal from the IDF! Discrimination of any kind should never be tolerated in the army of any civilized country

Some of those religious soldiers have apologized and have been reinstated in the program. But others still refuse. One of them has taken this to the Israeli Supreme Court. If he wins his case it will set a bad precedent. The last thing the Israeli army needs now is a bunch of soldiers deciding for themselves when they will and when they will not obey orders.

Chaim Fogel’s Plea

There is an amazing statement that is reported in the Jeruslam Post and VIN. It is by Chaim Fogel - father of Udi Fogel who along with his wife and children were brutally massacred by two Palestinians. Here is what he said:

"If they tell me that in exchange for the release of the two murderers Gilad Schalit will return home, I would agree - despite my opposition in principle to such transactions…"

What makes this more amazing is that there is no remorse on the part of these two mass murderers - one of whom was just sentenced to 130 years in prison. Given the opportunity they would do it again.

Although to the best of my knowledge this proposition was never offered by the Hamas terrorists holding him captive – if that would get him out - I agree with Mr. Fogel. Much as it would pain me to do so.

Gilad Schalit has been a captive of these terrorist savages long enough. Israel has not been able as of yet to extricate him from captivity. Not through negotiations and not though clandestine activity.

We have to see Gilad as though he were are own son. That is the only way we should see it. We have to imagine that our own beloved son has been in a terrorist prison with all kind of threats hanging over his head including execution and torture.

Think about the fate of Daniel Pearl the Jewish reporter for the Wall Street Journal a few years ago. He was executed by a beheading – one that was put on the internet for the entire world to see! Only in his place - visualize your own son! – beheaded while proclaiming his Judaism. Please! Imagine your own son that you raised and love dearly - that way. That is the only way one can honestly evaluate the situation here.

This is not the popular view… nor perhaps even the rational view. We should never give in to these kinds of ‘trades’ because that will certainly cause more people to be abducted for even more demands… all while turning 2 unrepentant mass murderers loose upon the our people. No Jew will feel safe. We will be turned into potentially helpless victims - who knows how many times. The entire Jewish people will be put at risk – not only in Israel but throughout the world!

I know it’s hard. I know the logic of the mind. But I also know the logic of the heart. I cannot stand the thought of a fellow Jew who’s only sin was to serve and protect his people – spending one more day in the captivity of brutal savages. I cannot stand what his parents must continually be going through. Listen to Chaim Fogel. If anyone has the right to suggest such a move – he does.

If we can get Gilad Schalit free by releasing these two mass murderers... let them go! And then after we have Gilad back safely in our hands - we hunt down these 2 savages and assassinate them!

Season's Greetings

As Rosh Hashanah rapidly approaches we are seeing more inspirational presentations in various media about the meaning of this time of year. Aish HaTorah is no exception. Ellul is indeed the time where the gates of Heaven open up and are more ‘attentive’ to Teshuva. Soon we will be saying Selichos. Sephardim have already started. This is a form of increased prayer for the purpose of penance.

And then comes the Yom HaDin – the Day of Judgment - Rosh Hashanah. This is the day we are judged in Heaven for all our actions during the year. So too God sets the way the coming year will play out for each and every one of us. On this solemn day we pray for a good outcome – realizing how truly mortal we are and how omnipotent God is.

Rosh Hashanah is also the beginning of the Aseres Yemei Teshuva – the ten days of penance culminating (on the tenth day) with Yom Kippur where we fast and implore God to ‘tear up’ the evil decree He may have made against us. His decrees are not sealed until the end of that day and are subject to change based on our sincere Teshuva.

That – in a very small nutshell - is what this season is about. Although these are indeed days of awe – they are also a great gift from God. He offers us the opportunity to repent from the sins we have committed hopefully without being punished for them. If Divine justice were strictly applied we would be getting our due for what we have done. That is the Midas HaDin. But God in his Infinite compassion (the Midas HaRachamim) has given us a ‘way out’.

In Bein Adam LaMakom matters we simply have to express our remorse to God, resolve never to violate Halacha again, pray for forgiveness from Him, and change our ways. In matters of Bein Adam L’Chavero - Teshuva does not begin until we seek – and receive - forgiveness from those we have hurt. And only then can we go the above route with God.

Teshuva is not easy. It involves change. And most of us have tremendous inertia when it comes to change. Most of us are comfortable with our lives just the way they are. We don't want to change. But if change is for the better then it is well worth the effort.

No one likes to hear Mussar - least of all me. But we all need it. This is a serious time of year and we should all reflect on our lives on how to improve them. We all have room for improvement.

At the same time – it is not Tisha B’Av either. It is also a Yom Tov. At the end of the process if we do our due diligence we will be forgiven our past sins. This should ultimately put us in a good mood. Rosh Hashanah is a time for renewal and hope. So don’t be sad. Be upbeat and happy. It is in that spirit I present the video above. It is from Aish HaTorah.

The Highest Common Denominator

One of the ongoing problems in Orthodoxy is what is known as the move to the right. This is most manifest in matters of modesty between the sexes but it applies in many other areas of Jewish life as well.

There have been many explanations articulated to explain this phenomenon. One of the more detailed ones is Dr. Chaim Soloveitchik’s Rupture and Reconstruction: The Transformation of Contemporary Orthodoxy. Therein he argues that the reason we are moving rightward is because we stopped listening to our own family Mesorah and are now looking only at ‘the book’ as a source and guide for how to live.

An example of this is the Shiurim – the minimum Halachic measurements for fulfillment of various Mitzvos on Pesach such as the amount of Matzah, Marror, and the size of cup used for the Daled Kosos – the four cups of wine.

Instead of asking a father what the family Mesorah is for those things we now look in a Halacha Sefer and follow that. So that where our fathers ate a smaller amount of Matzah or used a smaller cup for the Daled Kosos, we choose the larger sizes based on what we read. The reasoning is as follows. If we want to be sure of fulfilling the Mitzvah properly why not use the largest size? After all – there is no maximum size.

To show how absurd that argument is - there is a rather famous anecdote about the size of the Chofetz Chaim’s cup - an heirloom he left to his family. It was far smaller than the Chazon Ish’s minimum required size. The family refused to use it!

Is there any question about the Chofetz Chaim’s careful observance of even the smallest detail of Halacha? Would he have used a cup – year after year – for the Daled Kosos that he thought did there was even the slightest question about?

Dr. Soloveitchik is right. This is indeed what is happening. But there is another aspect to the ‘move to the right’ that I think exacerbates the problem. Especialy in matters of Tznius between the sexes. Whether it is in dress; or in mixed seating at weddings; or at concerts; or public transporation; or shopping at the super market; or even when taking a walk in the street. The problem is one of good Halachic intentions gone awry. The following anecdote will illustrate the genesis of this kind of thinking.

A close friend of mine described what happened at his wedding about 50 years ago. Mixed seating was the norm at most Orthodox wedding at that time. Even in Charedi circles. Only Chasidic weddings were separate. My friend’s wedding was mixed. But a when a Chasidic Rebbe he was close to and invited saw the wedding was mixed he said that he could not stay since he would not sit at the same table with a woman other than his own wife. So my friend quickly accommodated him and put together two tables - one for the Rebbe and one for his wife. He asked some of the guests to separate from their spouses for this purpose.

From this anecdote one might make the following argument. Why not just have separate seating for everyone? After all that is certainly universally acceptable according to Halacha. Why not just set the standard of Tznius high enough so that it will be accommodate everyone? Wouldn’t that be the fairest way to assure that everyone will be treated equally? …that no one will be sitting awkwardly at separate tables while most of the people in the room are sitting at mixed tables?

This argument was bought by the Charedi world and today - one rarely finds mixed seating at a wedding... even in some right wing Modern Orthodox circles! Never mind that one can see pictures of the great Gedolim of yesteryear sitting together with their wives at a table along with other couples. Rabbi Aaron Rakeffet tells of how R’ Yaakov Kamenetsky would proudly introduce his wife who was sitting next to him at a wedding when people came over to greet him at his table.

That would never happen today. Why? Because of the misguided notion of utilizing the biggest Chumra as a common denominator. The Charedi argument might be to say… So what? Why not raise the level of Kedusha and not rely on Kulos - leniencies? They will say that not everyone holds that one may have separate seating at a wedding. Isn’t it better to be holier?

My answer to that is that one does not have to be holier than the Gadol HaDor. If he sat with his wife and other couples at the same table then so can the rest of Klal Yisroel. Chasdim don’t? Fine that’s their business and their right. But don’t impose their Chumros on the rest of Klal Yisroel.

However that is not how the world works any more. We now worship the false ideal that adopting the Chumra is the great equalizer that creates some sort of unity. I disagree. I think doing that has the opposite effect and turns a great manyFrum people off – and might even be a source discomfort and of disunity. Most people if asked privately will say they prefer sitting with their spouses.

At weddings where couples are given the choice in the invitation to sit with their wives or sit separate – the vast majority of responses come back asking to be seated with their spouses - even among Charedi couples. Those wedding have very few separate tables. And why should that not be the case? If a husband and wife enjoy each other’s their company - why should they be denied that privilege? If one works all day long and looks forward to spending a night out with their spouse why should that be taken away from them?

And yet the idea of creating a sense of unity by catering to the greatest number of Chumros has become the norm. Anything less is seen as substandard Judaism in certain circles.

Then there are the Mehadrin (gender segregated) buses in Israel. The extreme right wing has insisted on it for their neighborhoods. Not to be seen as less religious than the most extreme elements of Meah Shearim, Charedi Poskim who in the past never gave this issue a second thought - have endorsed the idea. So we now have an increasing number of buses that have separate sections - men in the front and women in the back.

The argument is the same as above. Separate seating on a bus is Halachicly acceptable for everyone. But mixed seating is not. So why not just make all buses separate? Problem solved? No. Only one problem is solved. But other problems are created.

For example what about families touring Israel unfamiliar with the bus routes trying to stick together? Can they be assured getting off at the right stop together if on a crowded bus they cannot even see each other?

What about an elderly couple where one spouse might be dependent upon the other? Should they be separated? Nonetheless on the Mehadrin lines they will be at a minimum harassed if they dare sit together.

And what about the inherent unfairness of a situation where there is more of one gender on a Mehadrin bus than another? If there are a lot more women then men - why should a woman be forced to go sit - or even stand in the back of the bus while seats remain empty in the front? Let a woman try to sit in the front and see what happens even when the segregation is impromptu, unofficial and even illegal - as is the case in Ramat Bet Shemesh! Or better yet look what happened few years ago to a 70 year old woman there ... or what happened to Mrs. Miriam Shear in Jerusalem on the number 2 bus to the Kotel!

There are many more example of this - far too many for one essay.

Going the Frummest route is not always the best route. I would argue that it is the worse route. If there is no clear Halachic necessity or if even if there is a difference of opinion as to the Halachic necessity of incorporating Chumros into our lives, it is unfair to drag those who are perfectly within our rights to be lenient into a more stringent world just because of some false notion of leveling the playing field.

If we continue along these lines, it will be the death of normalcy. We will all just become a community of extremists where the only difference between us will be what Nusach we Daven. That is definitely the direction we are going if things don’t change.

Taharas HaMishpacha - A Profile in Courage

How beautiful are thy tents Jacob! If there were ever an instance where a lemon can be turned into lemonade this is it.

Yesterday I had posted a guest essay about an abusive marriage that ended in divorce. It was forwarded to me by a trusted friend. Because she mentioned observance of family purity laws - Taharas HaMishpacha - we both assumed it was written by an Orthodox woman. I used it as a springboard to discuss abuse and divorce in the Orthodox community.

Unbeknownst to either my friend or me, the woman who wrote that letter was a Conservative Jew. After a misguided attempt to justify leaving the post up I was persuaded to take it down because - in fact - there is no justification to use what happens outside of Orthodoxy to illustrate a problem within it – even though I fully agree that these problems exist therein.

So I took down the post with an explanation and apology.

What happened next is truly amazing. The woman who authored the post was gracious enough to tell her story in the comments section of my apology. What that shows is how an Ehrilche Jew - one who is sincerely dedicated to serving God to the best of her abilities - operates. And how caring Orthodox Jews helped her realize she was in an abusive relationship and helped her get out of it.

Her story is as follows. Having virtually no knowledge of Hilchos Niddah upon which Taharas Mishpacha is based - when informed prior to marriage she immediately accepted it upon herself. As did her then fiancé who later became her husband. She had always leaned Orthodox but her husband basically forbade it. Nonetheless she did the best she could.

Ultimately her husband could not live by those laws and demanded to violate them eventually becoming abusive –first psychologically and then physically. Instead of giving in to his demands she went to both her Conservative rabbi and an Orthodox Rebbitzin for advice.

Here is the heart of her story unedited - in her own words:

One of the nights my ex woke me to tell me how hard it was for him to sleep because he was so horny was the night I emailed my rabbi and asked to sit and talk about the subject of when I should choose observance and when I should choose Shalom Bayit. I still thought that if I could please my husband by changing my observance in some way, that I could save my marriage.

A month or two later, my husband threatened to cancel our upcoming vacation during which my parents would be baby-sitting and we could get away by ourselves for four days. It seems that I had mis-timed things, was in the wrong end of the cycle, and he couldn't imagine going on vacation without having sex. So I had to choose. By that time, I had become friendly with an Orthodox family three states removed from where we attended college.

One Shabbat evening while the kids were playing, my husband was out of town, and we were waiting for her husband and two of his friends to return from shul, I told her what was happening, my worries for my marriage, my worries about safety, and my feeling that if I needed to abandon Taharat ha Mishpachah in order to maintain Shalom Bayit, that something was vastly wrong with me or with the system.

After dinner, we left the kids with her husband and the other male dinner guests, and she and I walked half a mile to the Orthodox rebbetzin's house. She asked me to tell the rebbetzin what was going on. Everyone involved by this point knew I was not Orthodox but this was never the issue.

The Rebbetzin told me I should continue my plans to go on the trip, mikvah or not, but simply say no each evening.

I can't even imagine the look she saw on my face, but such a thing was not possible in my life. I was not ALLOWED to say no, and certainly not to say no two nights in a row. (By my ex's reasoning, the fact that I said no half the month meant that I could not keep him away during the other half.) As I revealed this, it became clear to the rebbetzin and to myself that THIS was the bigger problem in the marriage.

It had never occurred to me that I really was allowed to say no to my husband two nights in a row. It had not occurred to me that my ongoing fears about saying no - were in fact a sign that this was an abusive marriage.

That night was the beginning of the journey toward leaving my marriage and finding safety. My friend did not care whether I identify as Orthodox or which shul I attended. I was a fellow Jew and she was concerned enough about our conversation to bring me to her rebbetzin at 10pm on Shabbat to start getting perspective, if not practical help.

The rebbetzin did not care that I went to a Conservative shul, that we had never met and that our children attended different schools. I was a Jewish woman needing help on a Jewish problem, and she was there for me, unconditionally. This was not the last of our talks. Both women knew I was in more danger than I perceived. Both offered their homes as a place for us to stay if we needed to get out. Both offered to do anything they could to keep me and my small family safe.

By the end of that "vacation" I knew intimately the difference between compromise and control, the difference between pressure and rape, and the difference between perceived safety and obvious danger. And I started the long process toward either getting him to change (impossible since he thought he had nothing to change) or leaving.

I would add that since family purity laws are very private it is impossible for any of us to know what goes on in the bedroom of our neighbors. How many Orthodox Jews - even those of us who are born into it - violate those laws? I’ll bet there are more than a few who ‘cheat’on Hilchos Niddah. But not this woman. She never cheated. She only wanted to save her marriage and ultimately sacrificed it in pursuit of her Jewish ideals – the ideals of observant Judaism.

What a story of sacrifice and commitment. A real profile in courage. I don’t know if her marriage could have survived had she given in to him and abandoned family purity laws. Abusive husbands will find a way to be abusive one way than another. The point is that she did not abandon her Judaism.

Mi K’Amcha Yisroel! It doesn’t matter that she was not Orthodox. In this month of Ellul - her story of commitment is one that should inspire us all! It has certainly inspired me.

My Mistake - Sorry!

I have taken down today's guest post. I have given it considerable thought and have concluded that those who complained that I was using a post by a Conservative Jew to make a point about the Orthodox community were right... and I that was wrong. I didn't know the poster was not Orthodox and assumed she was because of her observance of Taharas HaMishpacha. Although I believe the problem of spousal abuse exists in the Orthodox world too and that the increased rate of divorce is impacted by it... this was not the way to show it and in fact it was counterproductive. I should have taken it down as soon as I was made aware of it. I apologize for the error... and the delay.

Empowerment or Perversion?

I know that he will not like it - but I feel sorry for him. I’m sure he does not need or want my sympathy. I understand that. Nonetheless that is the way I feel. At the same time I must strongly object to an article written by him in the Forward.

Jay Michaelson has written about something he calls empowered Judaism. He advocates a ‘do it yourself’ version that eliminates the participation of rabbis. He argues that in Judaism there is no intermediary between man and God - as compared with Christianity where there is. We pray directly to God and we are each responsible for our own actions. Rabbis – he argues are just another version of an intermediary. He then goes on to advocate eliminating rabbis from various lifecycle events.

That said he admits that it takes a tremendous amount of knowledge. But retorts that there are enough resources available to the masses so that they could learn to do it right. While it may be difficult since there is so much to learn - the reward of ‘doing it yourself’ is well worth the effort. Rabbis he says should be used sparingly and only as a last result.

I don’t really have any problem at all with learning the fundamentals of Judaism. In fact I think it is imperative that all Jews learn them. How else will one even know how to be Jewish?

But as I said Mr. Michaelson seems to be talking mostly about life cycle events. So that for a wedding for example - by learning the details of writing a Kesubah (the religious marriage contract) one will be able to write their own.

I am not an expert on the language of the Kesubah. But I believe that the language that is traditionally used is limited to a just a few versions based on the traditions of a community. There is for example a Sephardi version and an Ashkenazi version whose language varies slightly. There may be a few other versions. I’m not sure. But clearly there is no version that is geared for the ‘marriage’ of a man to a man. No amount of learning in the world will enable you to do that.

Unless you are Jay Michaelson and make it up as you go along - discarding what you don’t like and interpreting Judaism with a bias towards your own agenda. An agenda that is contrary to Jewish values.

Mr. Michaelson’s bias is clearly reflected in what has to be an outrageous distortion of Halacha. He is a homosexual about to be ‘married’ to another man. In his quest to ‘do it himself’ in what he believes to be a meaningful Jewish way he has crafted a Kesubah that is geared to the male homosexual relationship. He thus attempts to sanctify a relationship that is clearly forbidden by the Torah.

The inherent contradiction between sanctification and promoting a lifestyle where one’s sex life is considered a capital offense does not occur to him. Or if it does – he does not address how that contradiction is resolved. This is not ‘Do it yourself’ Judaism. It is ‘Do it yourself’ homosexuality.

The fact that Mr. Michaelson had a religious day school education should not be lost on anyone. He is a serious man and that is what makes his views so dangerous. He knows enough about Orthodox Judaism to give him an aura of authority – making it sound like he is speaking from a Halachic perspective. This is not just some heterodox rabbi writing from a non Orthodox point of view.

Needless to say it is far from Halachic to write a Kesubah for a gay couple… and certainly marriage between them is not recognized by the Torah. It cannot even take effect. There is no such thing as gay marriage in Judaism. And yet he treats it as though it was a Jewish as eating in a Sukkah on Sukkos.

I am not really angry at him. I am sympathetic to someone whose sex drive can never be fully satisfied Halachicly. I am sympathetic to his desire for mainstream acceptance.

I am sad that he wants so badly to be accepted by mainstream society that he has twisted Halacha on its head. I am sad that homosexuals are so badly treated by so many otherwise decent people.

Michael’s sexual orientation is not a sin. Only the type of sexual behavior that it might result in is. No one should be shunned just because of their sexual orientation. As Martin Luther King so famously said, people should be judged by the content of their character. That includes homosexuals. Halacha demands it. Human dignity demands it.

However when a line like this is crossed so outrageously - no matter what the motive; no matter how unfairly homosexuals are treated by society – it demands a strong public protest! And that is what I have done here.